Constent sound
That's all I hear bickering
They say it's not there
That I'm a white boy ther be nouthing wroung with me
They say all I seek Is atenten
That can't be it since I suffer in silence, cry alone, and to finely stifle the noise, I Speek allowed to them so at less one voice would exit the 9th layer of hell I call my mand
They will never see and I will never Speeking of the voices which drive my imaginations into contplations of zombie ends and thretical debates,  that will shake your minds, hell it cripples mine, the constant debates of there's ******* my mind,  so all I can do is stifle those two words that would not make a lick of a difference, for if I let them slip people will just look at me, and think I'm rebelling "o he's a white boy, he must think our talking is beneath him, he will never know true pain like us minorities"
Ye,ah That's me the majority seeking ******* of minority, causing hell since I never experience it. I am nouthing but an anarkish heaven that sees nouthing but the color of ****, a complete pestmistick
They don't under stand; hell I don't understand my mind ether but to say I'm the majority, is dead wroung, what makes them minority, collor, religion, these I been taught means nouthing and nouthing they are Becuse there thoughts, their harts binds them to all races, not one thought or filling is independent to there race, these groing minority have sunken to the idea that they be the minority but no that is me, the one who can't sit in silence, with out rocking with pain, the words "shut up" forever on my lips dripping with mumbles of zombies and flames as high as buildings with me on top of the talist yelling I'm not insain I'm not insain I'm not insain Until finally I'm lost inside the flames.
And if they knew what hell was in my mind that would be worse, they will try to find the problem with scans and question. Did your dadie **** you? Is your brain ****** up? Why don't you just stop this shirade?  
And when thier questions just lead me screem more at them than at my own head they try to fix me for now I'm a danger so they imprison me for something they coused.
So they put me on psycotic medison , and the voices they continue but easer to with stand. But I'm not me any more I'm different I loss so much but can't grasp what it is. They say I'm a success, and I agree because I want to leave. I don't tell them I still hear voices becuse I don't want them to sedate me agin. I don't tell them I've lost the intelligent young man I was or the insitefull guy that could help people with problems that he him self never had but they would not cair all they want is me to be like them because that all they wish to see.
As soon I'm out of the jail I ditch the mids and I return to my insainity. O how the voices seem to be louder as if they was ****** I locked them up..... But I'm me agin or am I them I just might be them but is that a problem i lie to my famly "yea I'm fine," " yea I took them last night," "I'm happy". They believe me not becuse they do but becuse they want to. They never saw a problem befor yea I was strange but functional but as soon as soon they heard I had a problem they jump on it for it means thay have not failed.
But they have not failed the doctors did they saw a man with a problem that need to be cured when there was only a man who had a problem that he needed to live with a problem that made him better and strange a problem that made him different.
With my problem out in the open I become better at hiding my pain until I get back to my to my apartment where I scream, cry and argue but never in that order. Nabbers never new I was different for I sound proof this place.
And that's how I lived, paying for pills I never used, never confinding in anyone for I feared of going back to jail, and I just knew if I ever got back on thouse meds that that when I get off the voices will drown me and I would not make it a night befor I just decided to end my abnormal life

Every one tells me I'm smart 
But I'm not 
I am not intelligent I'm just observant 
I see why X=Y 
I see why America faught in wwII 
I see why people make fun of me 
And I remember all the **** you've said to me
No I'm not a genius  but I'm smart enough to see though you
You thank your better than me 
Keep on thinking your fashion makes you better 
Keep on thinking that your life is more than mine
I'm smart enough to see that when you rag on me
You alwow your self to believe if you diss me
That the you see in me
The you that you hate to see would not be thair
I can see all the hate in you
I see all the pain in you 

Say all that **** about me
Make it seem that I'm the imperfect one
I use to be like you
Constantly denying who I am 
Never allowing me to be
Always thinking what they think of me 
Only knowing what they known of me
Only cairing what they wishted for me

But I'm not like that any more I see who I am
Not what people cair  to see 
But who I am
Who I want to be
Every aspect I hid befor
All that i wished for no one to know
I do not deny them eny more
I am not who any one thanks I am
I am not what people want me to be
I am not even what I want to be

I am me 
Nouthing more nouthing less
I am who I am
No reson to deny this
And just like I am who i am
You are who you are 
No mater if you deny it
No mater if you hide it
Fact is you was made to be who you are 
No amount of friends can change that fact
And you will see this like I did
You will make friends that do not size you up
No mater how ****** up you seem to be 
They will be their for you
It's just a mater of time before you see who you are

Stick and stones can Braked your bones
But words will tear your soal into tiny pieces
Maybe not all at once
But little by little
Slice by slice
The wounds will heal
But the wounds of the soal takes more the just time
And if those wounds don't heal
U die, not physically you can't be that Lucky
, no I can't be that lucky
When your soul bleeds it bleeds hope
Hope of change, hope of man kind, and hope that you are not the words, that people call you.

My soul has ran dried befor,
Sliced way to many time
And me with no confidence to stich it back up
I was to the point of opting out,
Saying **** it.

I was tired of being called a freek tired of being told  that I am less
That my life ment nouthing
Then I started to bleave it
That the world would be better with out me
And hell it would of been
I did not contribute to this world
Never made a change

I was so **** close
Blood flowing down my wrist
My mettifulical soul
Looking like my wrist
And obviously I lived

But you don't get over that kind of **** alone
It doesn't despair
It builds
U need a rope to get out of that rapid
You know what mine was.....
Words
The same thing that sliced my soal
That night I dreamed
That I was a writer
That my words did more good than the words of the outhers did harm
Not just for me but for others like me
Despair oozing out of them
Hatred coating there mind
That the only thing keeping them alive
Was the fact they cut across the tracks and not along

The next day I wrote
I wrote stories and poems
Letting my worries of the fuecher draw hope from the page and into me
Letting me clime out of my self pity
Without drugs
Without other people (the way I do everything)
And I lived
Not like I was, day by day
No I was finally alive I wanted to live
Not just because its what was expected
But I wanted this, I wanted my dream
I wanted to save not just my life
But some one else
To tell them
Yea words can beat you down, drag you to your grave, dig u a 9foot grave and berry you
But they can also brang you back to life, more alive than before.
Words can give you some thing that you felt you never had
Love, and love is what repair the wounds of your soul,
Show you that you have a reason to live,
No matter if those words are internal or external
They can heal you, and free you from the world that I once feared

Rain drips from my hands 
Mixed with blood
The endless flood will hinder my plot
But still I smile 
I know I'm doing wrong
As I step over the first body of the night
And I can't help my self from asking the obvious 
"am I going to hell? Do I deserve nouthing else?"

It's to late though it has started 
I raised my gun 
And fire into a guy 
No idea who he was
No mater
He was in the wroung place at the wroung dam time 
His family will morn 
But **** happens 
If theirs a god he will repay the goon
And I shail be punished 

So no point in stoping to wonder
As I'm opened fired on 
I laughed a grenade be hind their cover 
With the explosion all sound stopped 
Besides the screams that shall haunt me to the grave
 As I entered the last room my target looked at me 
A kid of 10
Not much older than mine 
I raised my gun and fired 
Sealing both of our lives
One to hell
And one to heaven

It approaches 
That's all that matters
It comes ever closer 
With a speed that none are clear of
But none can live with out knowing the result 
Death is coming
And I feel her hands grasping for my neck

I see her coming 
Not a threat 
But a promise from reality
She is hear to make the balance 
Her presents scatters all
But I wait for her 

My life I wish was worth more
But because of my own mind I never allow my self
To clim
To aprouch the heart of my existence

I sat never grasping 
As death Grasp for me
She is hear and it's all my falt
I have allowed my life pass me by
Just let the sand seep though my hand

I have forgotten the reson I'm hear 
Never venturing
Never gaining 
Just waiting for her to come
To clame what is hers

But as she grasp my through she stops
"why do u not fear me"
She said this to my emotionless face
"all Flea befor me and yet you stair at me
As if  You could cair less if I came"

"I do not fear you 
Since I knew you would come
I do not reglet leveling this place
For I got nothing for me"

She grasped my hand 
She looked in my lifeless eyes
Her eyes was not like mine
But the opposite 
Thouse eyes showed me what I missed
The crush I alow to flote by
The people I pushed away
She showed me what could of been

That crush becoming more
Her braking my heart
My frainds pick the peaces up
And me continuing my life

"I will be back one day" 
She said as her eyes reflected what I could be
But not because of you
I will come for what you owe
But not now"

She left me 
My complete oppiset
And I cried 
Hear I am seeing nouthing but love and life
And all I cared about was the death
The heartache

But she grasped the reality of life
Death knowing more of life 
Than the living

The morning after I cleaned my wound 
Life seemed just the same
But I still herd deth in my head
Tell Me to live
And so I did
I coted my wounds with a jacket 
And seeked what I could not see
With out death

Deeply disturbed 
That is what my life is
How I switch from obsessions 
To obsessions
And so I fear this will be me

No mater how high my ladder will go up
I'd just come back down and start anew 
That's me I geuse
For better or worse

But know this if nouthing else 
You are not an obsession for me
That will end any time now
You are apart of me
For evermore
I will strees about you
How you seem to see all I hid
How you know who I am
No mater what is perceived

I will strees on the fact I can never say
How I feel 
Unless I write 
So take these word and keep them safe
Because are my forever obsession