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"nervous" poems
You send shivers down my spine when you walk in, Cause the butterflies to flutter like mad. When you look in my eyes, You burn right through me. You are the sunshine when my skies are clouded, The light when I can't find the good in the world. I could be all that you need, You are all that I want. My stomach knots when you are next to me, You make me nervous and giddy. I smile at the thought of you, Quake in your presence. You have all control over me, And you don't even know it.
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Apr 20, 2010
Apr 20, 2010 at 5:54 PM UTC
You and Me
If the moon smiled, she would resemble you. You leave the same impression Of something beautiful, but annihilating. Both of you are great light borrowers. Her O-mouth grieves at the world; yours is unaffected, And your first gift is making stone out of everything. I wake to a mausoleum; you are here, Ticking your fingers on the marble table, looking for cigarettes, Spiteful as a woman, but not so nervous, And dying to say something unanswerable. The moon, too, abuses her subjects, But in the daytime she is ridiculous. Your dissatisfactions, on the other hand, Arrive through the mailslot with loving regularity, White and blank, expansive as carbon monoxide. No day is safe from news of you, Walking about in Africa maybe, but thinking of me.
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53.9k
The Rival
Opia. Noun. The ambiguous intensity of looking into someone's eyes, which can fell simultaneously invasive and vulnerable. As you lie in my arms, watching the television, you don't notice that my undivided attention is focused on you. Something I've been dreaming of for weeks, and it's finally come true. Even better, from your angle, you can't see me staring into your eyes, so I don't feel the nervous compulsion to turn away. Whether directly or not, I could drink in your eyes with mine, for hours, and they would be among the best hours of my life. Then there's the other hand, held tightly by trepidation. I love the prospect of your eyes staring into mine, but it's not without its fears. I'm afraid you'll see all the pain and fears that I've spent the past seven years working to overcome. I'm afraid you'll see all the insecurity and doubts I have about myself. I'm afraid you'll see all the words that I long to whisper in your ear, but can't, because I'm terrified of scaring you away. I'm afraid you won't like the fact that, behind these eyes lies only pictures and thoughts of you. But most of all, I'm afraid that, unlike me, who loves every detail, and lives for moments like these, you won't love the things you see. I long for the day when you stare happily into my eyes, but I'm frightened that you won't enjoy the secrets they reveal.
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Jun 27, 2015
Jun 27, 2015 at 4:53 PM UTC
Opia
My heart Is a happy drunk A little too open A little too optimistic It's over in the corner of the bar Playing poker Screaming at the top of it's lungs I'M ALL IN When it's never To this day Had a winning hand My heart Is a sad drunk A little too lonely A little too caught up in tears It's over at the counter Forcing the bartender to take its keys Because it would rather not go home Than go home alone again My heart Is a reckless drunk A little too unbalanced A little too impaired It's over by the door Making everyone nervous A little too good at scaring people away A little too far gone Like you A little too far gone Turn your head Shuffle away and pretend you don't notice The breakdown of a heart Too drunk on feelings To know when to stop
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Jan 13, 2015
Jan 13, 2015 at 8:10 PM UTC
too far gone
You call me She, Her, Daughter, Girl Shhhhh... You speak with a blind mouth, Look at me, see me She isn't me, Only a fantasy that you clutch till your knuckles grow pale. I am not broken, I am free But you hide behind a veil Afraid to finally let go of... Long hair, Lipstick, Lace dress You question each time I show you my truth, "Are you trying to hide your femininity?" No, my femininity is simply not my definition. Spend a day in my skin, in my cage, And don't cry when the words start to pierce you like daggers, Shhhh... Stay silent, don't worry, it's just a phase. Now do you see that "She" just doesn't make sense? You speak to me but your voice seems distant, Bouncing off of me and echoing Like I am the hollow statue of the girl you used to see. "I am right in front of you, you know" But my words are only heard when they come from her lips. Do you see me now? Mother, Children, Wife, Woman A silent prayer each night for all the things I am not, Stomach swollen, hair to my waist The glow of an expecting mother on my face. Curves, not edges, Pink, not blue. Delicate hands grasping the man who stands in my place. Do you see me now? Pants swollen, hair to my brow, Along my jaw, Down my legs, Sprouting from my toes. Do you see me now? Bulged, Buzzed, Boy Blood on my sheets, not between my legs Stained by the girl who lies in her place Fresh coat of gel and cologne, Swirls of shaving cream. Bare chest, Burning skin Twitch of an Adam's apple when breath comes short, Nervous fidgets with a tie, tick tock, "Pick me up at eight" "Treat her right" "I will sir" "Will you be my..." "You're going to be a father!" "You are the best daughter we could have asked for" ...."Son" I whispered. But you didn't hear, Please tell me Do you see me now?
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Jul 23, 2018
Jul 23, 2018 at 3:01 AM UTC
His Silent Cry
You call me She, Her, Daughter, Girl Shhhhh... You speak with a blind mouth, Look at me, see me She isn't me, Only a fantasy that you clutch till your knuckles grow pale. I am not broken, I am free But you hide behind a veil Afraid to finally let go of... Long hair, Lipstick, Lace dress You question each time I show you my truth, "Are you trying to hide your femininity?" No, my femininity is simply not my definition. Spend a day in my skin, in my cage, And don't cry when the words start to pierce you like daggers, Shhhh... Stay silent, don't worry, it's just a phase. Now do you see that "She" just doesn't make sense? You speak to me but your voice seems distant, Bouncing off of me and echoing Like I am the hollow statue of the girl you used to see. "I am right in front of you, you know" But my words are only heard when they come from her lips. Do you see me now? Mother, Children, Wife, Woman A silent prayer each night for all the things I am not, Stomach swollen, hair to my waist The glow of an expecting mother on my face. Curves, not edges, Pink, not blue. Delicate hands grasping the man who stands in my place. Do you see me now? Pants swollen, hair to my brow, Along my jaw, Down my legs, Sprouting from my toes. Do you see me now? Bulged, Buzzed, Boy Blood on my sheets, not between my legs Stained by the girl who lies in her place Fresh coat of gel and cologne, Swirls of shaving cream. Bare chest, Burning skin Twitch of an Adam's apple when breath comes short, Nervous fidgets with a tie, tick tock, "Pick me up at eight" "Treat her right" "I will sir" "Will you be my..." "You're going to be a father!" "You are the best daughter we could have asked for" ...."Son" I whispered. But you didn't hear, Please tell me Do you see me now?
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55
Trembling hands, palpitating heart my vision starts to fall apart my leg wont stop shaking No, im not faking, I'm just nervous.
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Mar 21, 2014
Mar 21, 2014 at 3:11 PM UTC
Anxiety
Sometimes, I wish I hadn’t just been the backseat of your car, Intoxicated. My first drunk hook up. My first. Period. I picture myself being champagne on Valentine’s Day. I picture myself being you, nervous in the car, holding Starbucks because you know I love coffee. Sometimes, I picture myself as her, calling you a stalker and ignoring your calls, but then I see myself. I call you beautiful, turn you into poetry, laugh at your bad jokes, I see myself as I become your drunk Wednesday night when you’re sad. I see myself as I say no, I become a “this is not a good idea” and you a “we’ll deal with the consequences in the morning.” We laugh because this hurts too much. You take her out for dinner and I burrow money for Plan B because you forgot you don’t like condoms and clearly have no idea how children are made. I have already named him. He has your curls and my anxiety. He is smart. Except, I never wanted kids and you would be a great father. Instead, you tell her the beach reminds you of her and I cry in a McDonald’s bathroom with my friend as relief floods through me that the test comes negative. I stop talking to you, move forward, meet someone new and before long see myself becoming you. Because isn’t that the cycle? Bad men turn good women into bad women who turn good men into bad men. I’ll set him free so he can hurt someone like me, and I drink red wine as I read her poems about him and me.
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Feb 27, 2018
Feb 27, 2018 at 3:59 AM UTC
I Couldn't Fall Asleep Until I Wrote This
Your beauty is like an exquisite flower Growing ontop of the highest mountain Peaking at the very height of its power Your Beauty is like Art To where all may see in awe Entering my heart You have not a single flaw Your beauty flows like a river Following the way of the stream Glowing slightest glimmer Only seen in our dreams Your beauty shines bright From whom we cannot wait Glistening in the moon light Meeting you was considered fate Your beauty makes us speechless Unable to say a word When we are with you, we are sleepless While we try to talk, it comes out slurred Your beauty cannot be described Words couldn't touch the surface This love I feel inside Never can I stop being nervous You are gorgeous in every single way Loving you will be my duty Unable to be kept away This... is... the... power... of... Your Beauty
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Feb 6, 2015
Feb 6, 2015 at 1:31 AM UTC
*Your Beauty*
death wants more death, and its webs are full: I remember my father's garage, how child-like I would brush the corpses of flies from the windows they thought were escape- their sticky, ugly, vibrant bodies shouting like dumb crazy dogs against the glass only to spin and flit in that second larger than hell or heaven onto the edge of the ledge, and then the spider from his dank hole nervous and exposed the puff of body swelling hanging there not really quite knowing, and then knowing- something sending it down its string, the wet web, toward the weak shield of buzzing, the pulsing; a last desperate moving hair-leg there against the glass there alive in the sun, spun in white; and almost like love: the closing over, the first hushed spider-sucking: filling its sack upon this thing that lived; crouching there upon its back drawing its certain blood as the world goes by outside and my temples scream and I hurl the broom against them: the spider dull with spider-anger still thinking of its prey and waving an amazed broken leg; the fly very still, a ***** speck stranded to straw; I shake the killer loose and he walks lame and peeved towards some dark corner but I intercept his dawdling his crawling like some broken hero, and the straws smash his legs now waving above his head and looking looking for the enemy and somewhat valiant, dying without apparent pain simply crawling backward piece by piece leaving nothing there until at last the red gut sack splashes its secrets, and I run child-like with God's anger a step behind, back to simple sunlight, wondering as the world goes by with curled smile if anyone else saw or sensed my crime
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22.4k
Death Wants More Death
death wants more death, and its webs are full: I remember my father's garage, how child-like I would brush the corpses of flies from the windows they thought were escape- their sticky, ugly, vibrant bodies shouting like dumb crazy dogs against the glass only to spin and flit in that second larger than hell or heaven onto the edge of the ledge, and then the spider from his dank hole nervous and exposed the puff of body swelling hanging there not really quite knowing, and then knowing- something sending it down its string, the wet web, toward the weak shield of buzzing, the pulsing; a last desperate moving hair-leg there against the glass there alive in the sun, spun in white; and almost like love: the closing over, the first hushed spider-sucking: filling its sack upon this thing that lived; crouching there upon its back drawing its certain blood as the world goes by outside and my temples scream and I hurl the broom against them: the spider dull with spider-anger still thinking of its prey and waving an amazed broken leg; the fly very still, a ***** speck stranded to straw; I shake the killer loose and he walks lame and peeved towards some dark corner but I intercept his dawdling his crawling like some broken hero, and the straws smash his legs now waving above his head and looking looking for the enemy and somewhat valiant, dying without apparent pain simply crawling backward piece by piece leaving nothing there until at last the red gut sack splashes its secrets, and I run child-like with God's anger a step behind, back to simple sunlight, wondering as the world goes by with curled smile if anyone else saw or sensed my crime
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64
Ah.. shes here...I shuffle around the stalls... watching..out of the corners of my eyes.... she knows ....Intimacy...a hand on flank..careful.. .you'll break me....with your gentle hands.. ..My hard mouth....your soft lips.. ..unruly, unruled....old horse...a kiss. .. Confused, ...stallion in name only. ... You whisper... My ears ***** ... forward..the hunt! ....your scent on.. ..My bridle...I smell u still... .. Calm...Comfort...Welcome... .Gentled, not too gently....a strong hand. . It grows trust …..truth...a Stallion! Once more. Panting...pawing...'Be easy'..nervous eyes roll. .a hand on the neck...a caress..'Gently '...you whisper, .... hot breath against ear … I snuffle and toss my head …. still a bit frightened…..her power! ..Will you ride.? ! ..firm thighs and buttocks.. ..Toes point... Heels dig...all Give and Take…. . Instruction to...from...the muscled beast. ..straddled. Awkward… too long without…. ..A Rider … the matching... Gait with hip... Walk-on.. Trot, pounding...Heels clip. ..faster, just a bit..Then smoothly they fit her to him. ...a canter.....this long stretch....rocking like one creature ….each a part of the other...breathing evenly… ...caught ….. Breath comes quick...bodies warm. . Exertion...strength..trust.. Leaning forward.. knees grip..pulling...toes curl..in.. ..hot breath..whisper in an ear… Now! ...hands grip mane... As they clench … bit between the teeth...She.. ...gives him his head... Finding his rhythm …. home in sight...a last burst…… Rider/Stallion sweat soaked … blood pounding..There... againthe scent of her...Sweet Hay rising. ..she whispers… yes oh yes… I knew… you had it in you.. In me...oh gods….YES! ! . . No! not the pasture yet for you.. She chuckles.. .bodies tangled in sheets ….. Her mane of dark hair.. Scent of her fills him … glad to be..Alive? Yes..head…. Heat… heart...bursting…Not now… But soon. . A gift.. This youth.. Who see's value in an old war horse. ..ridden.. but no more to war and blood.. .gentled, both he and she… sleep…bridled passion. ..her...a scent of sweet hay… .him...an old spice..and gunpowder? ..mmm. by Alexander K Hamilton
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Jan 20, 2017
Jan 20, 2017 at 12:01 AM UTC
Oh, Sweet Hay And Whispers
Ah.. shes here...I shuffle around the stalls... watching..out of the corners of my eyes.... she knows ....Intimacy...a hand on flank..careful.. .you'll break me....with your gentle hands.. ..My hard mouth....your soft lips.. ..unruly, unruled....old horse...a kiss. .. Confused, ...stallion in name only. ... You whisper... My ears ***** ... forward..the hunt! ....your scent on.. ..My bridle...I smell u still... .. Calm...Comfort...Welcome... .Gentled, not too gently....a strong hand. . It grows trust …..truth...a Stallion! Once more. Panting...pawing...'Be easy'..nervous eyes roll. .a hand on the neck...a caress..'Gently '...you whisper, .... hot breath against ear … I snuffle and toss my head …. still a bit frightened…..her power! ..Will you ride.? ! ..firm thighs and buttocks.. ..Toes point... Heels dig...all Give and Take…. . Instruction to...from...the muscled beast. ..straddled. Awkward… too long without…. ..A Rider … the matching... Gait with hip... Walk-on.. Trot, pounding...Heels clip. ..faster, just a bit..Then smoothly they fit her to him. ...a canter.....this long stretch....rocking like one creature ….each a part of the other...breathing evenly… ...caught ….. Breath comes quick...bodies warm. . Exertion...strength..trust.. Leaning forward.. knees grip..pulling...toes curl..in.. ..hot breath..whisper in an ear… Now! ...hands grip mane... As they clench … bit between the teeth...She.. ...gives him his head... Finding his rhythm …. home in sight...a last burst…… Rider/Stallion sweat soaked … blood pounding..There... againthe scent of her...Sweet Hay rising. ..she whispers… yes oh yes… I knew… you had it in you.. In me...oh gods….YES! ! . . No! not the pasture yet for you.. She chuckles.. .bodies tangled in sheets ….. Her mane of dark hair.. Scent of her fills him … glad to be..Alive? Yes..head…. Heat… heart...bursting…Not now… But soon. . A gift.. This youth.. Who see's value in an old war horse. ..ridden.. but no more to war and blood.. .gentled, both he and she… sleep…bridled passion. ..her...a scent of sweet hay… .him...an old spice..and gunpowder? ..mmm. by Alexander K Hamilton
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47
Your perception of me pre-existed, you saw black and you felt danger, you saw my skin and with it painted a personality from the prejudice of your mind. You don’t know me, yet you assume that I am just like every other dark skinned man out there. So that is why I feel angry when you cram yourself in the corner of elevators, if you could only realize I am the one who is truly backed into a corner, provoked by your ignorance, until I become what you painted me. With your judging eyes, cautious smiles, and nervous actions you made me this way when in the beginning I was just me. Now after all you have done, and all I have done, I’m just trying to be me again. I just want to be me.
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May 22, 2014
May 22, 2014 at 7:23 AM UTC
Prejudice & Ignorance are Synonymous
Twenty years in the fast lane, speeding was ecstacy at the time. Sweet heady bubbles of coke, buzzing at feeding. No softeners added, lemon or lime. My therapy, my medication. ****** my mind on a long vacation. Knowing this time would one day arrive. My restless legs, my tired insides. My not so central nervous system, twitching fingers, flickering eyes. This to me is no surprise. My therapy, now my reprise. Peotyr by aKydee.
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Jun 26, 2018
Jun 26, 2018 at 12:37 PM UTC
My Chemical Romance.
I have bruises like amethyst But the truth is I’m the catalyst When I see colours of bismuth I know you mean business Bruises like amethyst But you say you’re a pacifist An analyst an activist But you held my mind so it contorts, distorts And aborts so it can’t resonate or fabricate Or rationalise a world inside That doesn't exist and insists That I can’t be kissed and won’t be missed I've got a black heart like tourmaline But I'm the alkaline to your acid time Trust me I am fine, I'm a pale blue Crystalline Structural perfection Don’t need your affection or your ways Of objections did my bra strap give you an Erection? You could say I'm a feminist But I'm more of a scientist Busting body myths like biologist You say ‘but **** are ****** organs’ Listen you morons, all ******* are a erogenous zone Regardless of gender , boys nips literally have no purpose Except when they get nervous for getting a little lip service Trust me I'm fine, I'm a pale white crystalline Structural perfection I don’t need your objection Not a gem stone for your collar bone I don’t give a **** about Your muscle tone, I'm a cyclone all alone I could spend a 1,000 years on my own.
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Aug 23, 2014
Aug 23, 2014 at 7:08 PM UTC
The female scientist ****** crystal rap.
When did things change so much? When did I get so encapsulated Into the world of technology? When did I stop listening To myself and my own thoughts And instead add another view To some article or YouTube video Just to reach some spoon-fed "opinion"? When did we stop engaging In life and with ourselves? When did playing video games turn to Watching other people play them online Numbing our brains to the world And "filling" our social needs digitally? When did watching television turn into Binge-watching an entire series in one sitting? With this much constant stimulation It's no wonder we're bored so easily And that no one goes outside anymore And that I don't feel alive anymore Because one of the first things I do When I get home from work or the gym Is turn on the smart tv so it can warm up Because the apps on it take time to load And I already know that my free time Will be spent in front of that screen Lately I've been nervous about Eventually moving in with new people Primarily because I spend a lot of my time Passively using the television I was concerned with how we'd balance our usage Instead of considering changing the way I spend my time When did I start placing my use of technology Above my own self-care? When I spend hours watching YouTube But still forget to take a shower sometimes And I truly wonder if my recent urges To leave the state to work on a farm for a month Are more indicative of some deep desire To unplug and reset my energy and priorities Than my interest in agriculture or Learning to live off of the land When did I start to feel the need To take such drastic measures To change something so simple Something I could choose to disengage with At the simple touch of a button?
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Feb 27, 2019
Feb 27, 2019 at 10:51 PM UTC
Trapped in the Media Matrix
When did things change so much? When did I get so encapsulated Into the world of technology? When did I stop listening To myself and my own thoughts And instead add another view To some article or YouTube video Just to reach some spoon-fed "opinion"? When did we stop engaging In life and with ourselves? When did playing video games turn to Watching other people play them online Numbing our brains to the world And "filling" our social needs digitally? When did watching television turn into Binge-watching an entire series in one sitting? With this much constant stimulation It's no wonder we're bored so easily And that no one goes outside anymore And that I don't feel alive anymore Because one of the first things I do When I get home from work or the gym Is turn on the smart tv so it can warm up Because the apps on it take time to load And I already know that my free time Will be spent in front of that screen Lately I've been nervous about Eventually moving in with new people Primarily because I spend a lot of my time Passively using the television I was concerned with how we'd balance our usage Instead of considering changing the way I spend my time When did I start placing my use of technology Above my own self-care? When I spend hours watching YouTube But still forget to take a shower sometimes And I truly wonder if my recent urges To leave the state to work on a farm for a month Are more indicative of some deep desire To unplug and reset my energy and priorities Than my interest in agriculture or Learning to live off of the land When did I start to feel the need To take such drastic measures To change something so simple Something I could choose to disengage with At the simple touch of a button?
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47
You sat on the other end of the table Glistening, shining, and taunting me Rosy cheeks with spurts of Yellow and Green Silently teasing A juicy, little Apple. Hopefully no one would see me, no one would pay any attention As I grabbed the treat and the knife And began to dangerously peel. I knew I was doing it wrong My hands shaking while my cheeks began to flush Embarrassed by my ignorant inadequacy. Are you left-handed? she asked from my left. Humiliation filled the corners of my eyes, wet and distraught. No, I mumbled. My cheeks reflecting Mose's Red Sea. I was beginning to drown. Your thumb needs to move, You make me nervous, and she sounded nervous indeed. Put it down here. Help yourself control it. Guide it. Everyone was staring now, the whole table awed My ignorance showing, like a medallion at my chest My shameful Apple as pathetic proof. You're doing it wrong. Non così. Basta, faccio io. Let me do it. You're about to graduate, and you can't peel an apple. I began choking, drowning in tears of Humiliation. No, let her do it the small Voice on my left said. She is finding her way. Let me watch her. I finished peeling the Apple Suffocating my tears as I ate. You remind me of Daisy, she said soon after From The Great Gatsby. I choked and laughed, more ashamed than ever. I'm not sure that is a compliment. I could barely muster a mumble. She couldn't do anything by herself. She looked at me, gentle and forgiving. I think it is, she replied Wistful and Wise. Daisy was vital to the story, you know. And I believe that given the chance, she could have done anything that she wanted On her own.
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May 5, 2014
May 5, 2014 at 6:27 PM UTC
growing up Daisy
You sat on the other end of the table Glistening, shining, and taunting me Rosy cheeks with spurts of Yellow and Green Silently teasing A juicy, little Apple. Hopefully no one would see me, no one would pay any attention As I grabbed the treat and the knife And began to dangerously peel. I knew I was doing it wrong My hands shaking while my cheeks began to flush Embarrassed by my ignorant inadequacy. Are you left-handed? she asked from my left. Humiliation filled the corners of my eyes, wet and distraught. No, I mumbled. My cheeks reflecting Mose's Red Sea. I was beginning to drown. Your thumb needs to move, You make me nervous, and she sounded nervous indeed. Put it down here. Help yourself control it. Guide it. Everyone was staring now, the whole table awed My ignorance showing, like a medallion at my chest My shameful Apple as pathetic proof. You're doing it wrong. Non così. Basta, faccio io. Let me do it. You're about to graduate, and you can't peel an apple. I began choking, drowning in tears of Humiliation. No, let her do it the small Voice on my left said. She is finding her way. Let me watch her. I finished peeling the Apple Suffocating my tears as I ate. You remind me of Daisy, she said soon after From The Great Gatsby. I choked and laughed, more ashamed than ever. I'm not sure that is a compliment. I could barely muster a mumble. She couldn't do anything by herself. She looked at me, gentle and forgiving. I think it is, she replied Wistful and Wise. Daisy was vital to the story, you know. And I believe that given the chance, she could have done anything that she wanted On her own.
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42
*she dragged me out of the house knowing i was feeling down not allowing me to wallow in my self pity, she dressed me,         painted my face                fashioned my hair, that’s my girl friend at Juliana’s, small family owned Italian restaurant, a gem of a find, she said, Lorenzo, greeted her with familiarity (she leaves a memorable impression) she introduced me as her bestie with a twinkle in her eye young (as all under 30 people are to me) handsome, dark thick curly haired, with dancing eyes, a serving towel over his left arm nodded with a genuine smile i smiled back despite my mood wine was swirled, smelled, sampled and selected a captivating performance, executed expertly she watched me watching him describe the specials   with a melodic Italian accent transforming my mood garlic knots wafting with his stride, placed on the table with a small bowl of marinara sauce still hovering in his long lean fingers it slipped, splattering red stain on the pristine white cloth without skipping a beat his eyes poured into mine words emerged “forgive me, your beauty made me nervous”*
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Dec 6, 2017
Dec 6, 2017 at 8:34 AM UTC
the waiter
Scientists divide my body into systems, cardiovascular, circulatory, respiratory, but when you are in my presence, it all becomes nervous.
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Jun 6, 2013
Jun 6, 2013 at 7:13 PM UTC
Anatomy.
After months of sleeping next to you, today I woke up, rolled over to see your face, and was ______. a) in love b) complete c) nervous d) alone e) all of the above
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Apr 23, 2019
Apr 23, 2019 at 3:29 AM UTC
Standardized Life Testing
Let me tell you the story of our serendipitous meeting, when we had been working not too far from each other for months but only just met.  Let me tell you about how I was slacking off because I was bored of work, and tired of life in general.  Let me tell you about how meeting you literally saved my life, for I had already made the plans and set the groundwork-my decision made long before and solidified more every day.  Let me tell you about how you walked up oh so casually as I was talking to a mutual friend.  And baby, let me tell you how I thought you were pretty freaking cute, and how I was so nervous and excited when you joined in our conversation.  But let me tell you also how I showed myself to you from that very first meeting and you accepted all of me wholeheartedly.  Because, let me tell you, I was at my very worst in those moments.  And let me tell you how I walked away from that meeting with a genuine smile on my face, the first in years.
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May 29, 2014
May 29, 2014 at 1:05 PM UTC
The Story of Us, Part I: Meeting
I'm walkin' around my neighborhood, Looking at all the different colors, It's just that kind of October, Where everything is pretty, And it can get kind of chilly, But that's okay, I'm wearing my sweater today, And today, Is the day that I'm gonna see you again.. And I'm nervous, But I'll be alright, I'm just feeling my heart race on the inside, And regardless of the consequences, I'll be with you tonight, I'm seeing you tonight. In this October chill, We'll feel all the right feels. I see little kids over across the street, They kind of remind me of how we use to be, When we were young, And life goes on, And even though it gets scary, Growing up and all, We have eachother through the fall. And today, Is the day that I'm gonna see you again.. And I'm nervous, But I'll be alright, I'm just feeling my heart race on the inside, And regardless of the consequences, I'll be with you tonight, I'm seeing you tonight. In this October chill, We'll feel all the right feels.
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Oct 29, 2014
Oct 29, 2014 at 6:39 PM UTC
October Chill
Lady, your room is lousy with flowers. When you kick me out, that's what I'll remember, Me, sitting here bored as a loepard In your jungle of wine-bottle lamps, Velvet pillows the color of blood pudding And the white china flying fish from Italy. I forget you, hearing the cut flowers Sipping their liquids from assorted pots, Pitchers and Coronation goblets Like Monday drunkards. The milky berries Bow down, a local constellation, Toward their admirers in the tabletop: Mobs of eyeballs looking up. Are those petals of leaves you've paried with them --- Those green-striped ovals of silver tissue? The red geraniums I know. Friends, friends. They stink of armpits And the invovled maladies of autumn, Musky as a lovebed the morning after. My nostrils prickle with nostalgia. Henna hags:cloth of your cloth. They tow old water thick as fog. The roses in the Toby jug Gave up the ghost last night. High time. Their yellow corsets were ready to split. You snored, and I heard the petals unlatch, Tapping and ticking like nervous fingers. You should have junked them before they died. Daybreak discovered the bureau lid Littered with Chinese hands. Now I'm stared at By chrysanthemums the size Of Holofernes' head, dipped in the same Magenta as this fubsy sofa. In the mirror their doubles back them up. Listen: your tenant mice Are rattling the ******* packets. Fine flour Muffles their bird feet: they whistle for joy. And you doze on, nose to the wall. This mizzle fits me like a sad jacket. How did we make it up to your attic? You handed me gin in a glass bud vase. We slept like stones. Lady, what am I doing With a lung full of dust and a tongue of wood, Knee-deep in the cold swamped by flowers?
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14.7k
Leaving Early
Lady, your room is lousy with flowers. When you kick me out, that's what I'll remember, Me, sitting here bored as a loepard In your jungle of wine-bottle lamps, Velvet pillows the color of blood pudding And the white china flying fish from Italy. I forget you, hearing the cut flowers Sipping their liquids from assorted pots, Pitchers and Coronation goblets Like Monday drunkards. The milky berries Bow down, a local constellation, Toward their admirers in the tabletop: Mobs of eyeballs looking up. Are those petals of leaves you've paried with them --- Those green-striped ovals of silver tissue? The red geraniums I know. Friends, friends. They stink of armpits And the invovled maladies of autumn, Musky as a lovebed the morning after. My nostrils prickle with nostalgia. Henna hags:cloth of your cloth. They tow old water thick as fog. The roses in the Toby jug Gave up the ghost last night. High time. Their yellow corsets were ready to split. You snored, and I heard the petals unlatch, Tapping and ticking like nervous fingers. You should have junked them before they died. Daybreak discovered the bureau lid Littered with Chinese hands. Now I'm stared at By chrysanthemums the size Of Holofernes' head, dipped in the same Magenta as this fubsy sofa. In the mirror their doubles back them up. Listen: your tenant mice Are rattling the ******* packets. Fine flour Muffles their bird feet: they whistle for joy. And you doze on, nose to the wall. This mizzle fits me like a sad jacket. How did we make it up to your attic? You handed me gin in a glass bud vase. We slept like stones. Lady, what am I doing With a lung full of dust and a tongue of wood, Knee-deep in the cold swamped by flowers?
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44
To the tweaker who just ate lunch On the side of a 55 mph highway I'm not staring because I'm judging I can judge without looking I'm staring because I want to know If my eyes can slow down your limbs Like the arms of a fan So I can see that you're still somebody's daughter I'm staring because I understand Never mind the gawking eyes of midday traffic Never mind the glares of the gas station clerks I understand You're just having lunch I understand The bugs, the tics, the needs You are not a stranger to me You are who my sister used to be You are what the father of my niece Is trying not to be anymore You are every shady character Who ever knocked on my door asking questions I do not know your name But I know you I know you were once somebody's daughter And I hope you still are I'm not here to pass judgment Definitely not here to help I know all to well there is nothing I can do I just want you to know I know And so does any body you're trying to hide it from And they'll be waiting up for you Whether you come home or not Your mom hasn't had a full nights sleep Since the last time she saw you I hope for her sake It was this morning And I know you won't believe this But grown woman and all Your dad just wants to bounce you on his knee But what I know most of all Is that your little brother Can't go two hours without crying He's got ulcers again And he misses you You probably see him the most But he hasn't seen you Since you took your first hit He misses your advice He misses your hazing And all he wants is a sober hug And I'm sure this isn't what you wanted to hear During your picnic But it's everything I wish I could've told my sister Even if she wouldn't have listened I'm not staring to judge I'm staring to care And I don't presume to know what addiction is But I do know how it feels I just watched you barely cross the street I can't imagine you making it Wherever you're going tonight So if you die I hope there's **** in heaven But if you by some miracle don't I hope rock bottom's not to far down And that one day you get clean And start to make amends So you can remember what it's like to dream And if that day ever does come Do me a favor Sit on your father's lap Sleep in your mother's bed And hug your little brother Because there's a girl he could use some help with No matter what you've done Or how much pain you've caused Through the twitching The nervous glances The weight loss You're still somebody's daughter I know you I understand you Enjoy your lunch
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Jan 4, 2010
Jan 4, 2010 at 10:26 AM UTC
Somebody's Daughter
To the tweaker who just ate lunch On the side of a 55 mph highway I'm not staring because I'm judging I can judge without looking I'm staring because I want to know If my eyes can slow down your limbs Like the arms of a fan So I can see that you're still somebody's daughter I'm staring because I understand Never mind the gawking eyes of midday traffic Never mind the glares of the gas station clerks I understand You're just having lunch I understand The bugs, the tics, the needs You are not a stranger to me You are who my sister used to be You are what the father of my niece Is trying not to be anymore You are every shady character Who ever knocked on my door asking questions I do not know your name But I know you I know you were once somebody's daughter And I hope you still are I'm not here to pass judgment Definitely not here to help I know all to well there is nothing I can do I just want you to know I know And so does any body you're trying to hide it from And they'll be waiting up for you Whether you come home or not Your mom hasn't had a full nights sleep Since the last time she saw you I hope for her sake It was this morning And I know you won't believe this But grown woman and all Your dad just wants to bounce you on his knee But what I know most of all Is that your little brother Can't go two hours without crying He's got ulcers again And he misses you You probably see him the most But he hasn't seen you Since you took your first hit He misses your advice He misses your hazing And all he wants is a sober hug And I'm sure this isn't what you wanted to hear During your picnic But it's everything I wish I could've told my sister Even if she wouldn't have listened I'm not staring to judge I'm staring to care And I don't presume to know what addiction is But I do know how it feels I just watched you barely cross the street I can't imagine you making it Wherever you're going tonight So if you die I hope there's **** in heaven But if you by some miracle don't I hope rock bottom's not to far down And that one day you get clean And start to make amends So you can remember what it's like to dream And if that day ever does come Do me a favor Sit on your father's lap Sleep in your mother's bed And hug your little brother Because there's a girl he could use some help with No matter what you've done Or how much pain you've caused Through the twitching The nervous glances The weight loss You're still somebody's daughter I know you I understand you Enjoy your lunch
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83
We all know about Rudolph and how his nose lights up the night And olive, the other reindeer Who help Santa with his flight But, there's one who is forgotten From the Christmas songs and rhymes And I think you should hear about him Yes, I think it is about time Randy was a reindeer He liked to play the reindeer games But he too, was like Rudolph And the others called him names Randy, wasn't much at flying Didn't like going out most nights Randy, well, he was just different You see, he was afraid of heights He couldn't see where he was going Either in the day or night You see Randy needed glasses He had a problem with his sight His balance was in question Always falling to the ground If a reindeer falls in the forest Does that reindeer make a sound? He had a skin condition He needed special cream to help The harness didn't help him In fact, it made him yelp He was shorter than the others And his stride was a bit off And when Santa came to see him Randy had a nervous cough He didn't like the female reindeer He liked the males, more than he should Randy was "light up in the antlers" And to Santa, that's no good Santa couldn't fly with Randy Randy's name, it was all wrong It screamed out Broadway not of Christmas It didn't work in all the songs Santa said "you're a strange reindeer" "You can't fly, you're blind and gay" "And if you led my team out" "We'd not be done in just one day" "I'm sorry, reindeer Randy" "I have to cut you from the team" "They play one side,you're another" "If you know what Santa means" So, Randy, he just wanders Round the north pole all the while Bumping into things and falling With his light antlers and strange smile He's not a famous reindeer And I think that it's ok That Santa has a reindeer Who, we now all know is gay.
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Dec 1, 2012
Dec 1, 2012 at 9:26 PM UTC
Randolph the gay reindeer
We all know about Rudolph and how his nose lights up the night And olive, the other reindeer Who help Santa with his flight But, there's one who is forgotten From the Christmas songs and rhymes And I think you should hear about him Yes, I think it is about time Randy was a reindeer He liked to play the reindeer games But he too, was like Rudolph And the others called him names Randy, wasn't much at flying Didn't like going out most nights Randy, well, he was just different You see, he was afraid of heights He couldn't see where he was going Either in the day or night You see Randy needed glasses He had a problem with his sight His balance was in question Always falling to the ground If a reindeer falls in the forest Does that reindeer make a sound? He had a skin condition He needed special cream to help The harness didn't help him In fact, it made him yelp He was shorter than the others And his stride was a bit off And when Santa came to see him Randy had a nervous cough He didn't like the female reindeer He liked the males, more than he should Randy was "light up in the antlers" And to Santa, that's no good Santa couldn't fly with Randy Randy's name, it was all wrong It screamed out Broadway not of Christmas It didn't work in all the songs Santa said "you're a strange reindeer" "You can't fly, you're blind and gay" "And if you led my team out" "We'd not be done in just one day" "I'm sorry, reindeer Randy" "I have to cut you from the team" "They play one side,you're another" "If you know what Santa means" So, Randy, he just wanders Round the north pole all the while Bumping into things and falling With his light antlers and strange smile He's not a famous reindeer And I think that it's ok That Santa has a reindeer Who, we now all know is gay.
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56
With my eyes closed I'd let my hands roam across your skin, reading all your goosebumps like braille. I'd listen to your body telling me how to respond, speaking with my hands in case my tongue and lips fail. Nonverbal conversations because actions speak louder, and conversations getting crazy in these late hours. Speaking yet not speaking. Kisses are breathtaking. Touching. Squeezing. Holding a conversation. Nervous? I'm searching but i'm still uncertain. Think you can make this heart fulfill its purpose? Beneath the surface I'm imperfect. Yet on the surface still imperfect. It makes no difference if we pull these curtains. Let's leave them closed then and stay here. Lay here. Say we're in a race here, but i'm not tryna finish first... Pillow talk and under covers with these conversations. Before I hit a home run i cover all my bases. ;)
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Mar 31, 2015
Mar 31, 2015 at 12:08 AM UTC
Blind foreplay.