I was there sitting up straight like everyone, I was walking around with my head up like everyone, my stomach was tucked in and my chest was out like everyone, I shared jokes and I laughed with everyone

I was with them, I was just with them
But my mind wasn't there, so I stopped
Laughing and frowned on, their jokes were never funny at all, I slowly moved away until I couldn't hear them at all.

Then I remembered all the trauma
I remembered all the bad things I have been through, I then went and challenged myself in a battle of words and I lost
It saddened me, but it was just that.

I wish they'd hear me asking and answer
I wish they'd see me battling and chant
My name to give me strength and support, but they were so deep in their jokes, they laughed as if they celebrated my down fall as my mind punched me down and I felt.

Sadly I was with them but they were never with me, I cried out but they couldn't hear me, there I was lying down the bruise in my head bled till I died,
right in front of them

Yes I was with them, I was knocked down and killed in front of them, the jokes  the music and everything that was trending at the time is all that mattered to them when I tried reaching out to them

Yes I was with them. I died in front of them.


By: Lefa Ndlovu