If you told me that the life I live now
is what I would become, three years ago,
when I graduated high school...............

All is lost,
Well than again
Nahh
All is lost!!!

Nahh ainkh khuli ,nahhh mai sunn paya...
Maa ke pait mai rehker bhi maina apna parivar ka pyaar paya...
Jab ainkh khuli ,toh roker pura hospital sirr per uthaya ....
Phir Papa ki godi mai sirr rakhker hee mujha thoda chain aaya....
Pheli baar ghar aake , thoda mann dagmagaya....
Dada dadi ko paas dekhker,firrr maii zorr se khilkhilaya....
Jab naam sochne ki baari aayi....
Toh bua ne kaan mai naam pyaar se fusfusaya ....
Bade hokar bhi chota ke sath khelna...
Aisa charitra maina apna hee parivaar mai h paaya...
School jane ki umar mai bhi...
Har parivaar ke sadasye ko hai maina satya...
Kabhi woh dila do, yaa kabhi yeh dilado hee harr baar hai chilaya...
Harr divas ko hamne pura harsh aur ullas ke sath banya....
Pyaar se sath rehna ka hee humna hamesha se wachan h khaya....
Sabke dhurr jana ke baad bhi....
Maine apna parivaar ko hee paas paya...
Harrr sukh dukh mai unhona hee mujha  sabke sath rehna sikhaya...
Apna parivaar se dhurr jake bhi...
Maina uhna harrr jagah h paaya...
Voice call aur video call ne hee unka pyaar h mujh tak pahuchaya....
Maa ki mamta ne hee maano jaisa mujha iss kadar banaya...
Jo maina apna parivaar ka itna pyaar h paaya...
Maarte wakt bhi mera parivaar ne hee mujha kahnde per uthaya...
Ainshu aur apni yaadeino ko bhula krr hee mujha mera parivaar ne jalaya....

I wish you'd leave me alone, I hate you and PLEASE stop popping up when you know nobody's home. I'm not your girl, I'm very much grown. Just please…go on. But I can't leave you, and I can only fight my heart's desires for so long

Because you are the death of me.

"Where you at!!? I'm coming to you." Then you kick and bang on the door. "I just wanna talk." And of course I let you in. "C'mon, Yazz. Let's just go on a walk."Thinking to myself...if he slaps me around again I've seen it coming, definitely.  

Because you are the death of me.

Two a.m, threw on some pants and a hoodie. You start to breathe hard and I see your woody. Tried to ignore, but you pressed it into me as I slid ouy the door. "Let's just go back inside if that's all you came here for."
"Nahh Ima chill, we can't no more you would've been like what, four……months."

My eyes start to water and then my shoulder's slump. If you would've pulled out before that last pump……you wouldn't be rubbing the nonexistent baby bump.

You wiped my tears then started rubbing my ears. Put my head in your chest as we hugged. And talked. And for a moment I enjoy being stalked.

Because you are the death of me.

I'm never lonely buh sometimes i have the feeling of loneliness.
I know this is madness.
Old people call it stress.
I can't say i'm depressed

I've never felt this powerless
I wish i was a Disney princess
And have imaginary friends
Because their smiles are priceless

I think the reason why those feelings were familiar is because the situation is similar...

I chose to live and tell a tale
Because at the end of the day,
I can't run away from reality

Losing myself in the ocean
Losing myself in the sea
Lost myself in my doubt once
That's when you were there for me
Lost myself in the tizzy of others
Lost myself to their greed
Found myself in the South, now
But losing myself to this grief
Bring me back to the lake side
Bring me back to the trees
Bring me all of the skyline
Bring me the Horizon,
Bring me to my knees
Bring me back my sweet Brittany
Or bring to where she sleeps
Lost myself in your waters
Lost myself in your clouds
Lost myself in your eyes, more than once
I'm losing myself in your absence but I'll never be lonely again.
I'll pray for you to my statue
I'll pray you're meeting your dreams
I'll pray you're dancing with shadows and lights
I'll hold your memory on lonely nights
I'll cry into my pillow
I'll cry up into my sky
I'll cry to the moon and stars and willows
I'll smile after every storm is gone
Whisper to me when you miss me
Whisper to me from beyond
Call me and tell me Nahhhhh Nahh
Call to me from the abandoned houses
Every shattered pane is your window
Call to me from the broken homes and lost buildings
Those places where where you felt whole
You drew yourself to the broken
You pulled in the pieces and loved
You drew the lonely ones towards you
You leave us with all of this love.
I'll celebrate every moment
I'll taste every breath
I'll cherish each human, and each little pet
I'll love with all I have left
Thank you for being my friend.
Rest In Pizza

Why has night time gained such a bad rep?
It seems that the later you stay up, the more no-good you're up to.
"Nahh man, not me. These stars and nebulae are astonishing.
I'm just trying to get a good glimpse at my ancestry.

We never flex..
we never rest..
I learned to live with no regrets..
like nahh I ain't seen them yet..
they never come over to visit..
I still **** wit my ******
Tryna teach something and roll something everyday..
willing to listen all ways..
from every direction we tryna get paid..
I am the master of my own fate..
no slave ships just yacht days..
whips and chains just to misbehave..
Runnin for gold tryna overcome the maze..
still blasting joy and pain..
like everyday..
balance ..
the weight I lift on my shoulders ..
boulders, a country and a couple mountains..
but who's counting ...
unless it's the money..
she said I changed when I ain't want the change on me..
let em have it..
it's good to be a blessing to those who don't have it..
cause if I didn't ...
I know **** well I would grasp it..
I'm tryna show time I am magic..
yellow Porsche carrera 911 package
wood grain and all black leather lavish
staring at the world in my rear view blasting  
On the gas mashin..
never ever crashin..
smooth sailing wit plenty cabbage..
she tell me slow down take my time..
I said I been Robbin all my life..
I think Ima take advantage of tonight..
DJ quik and some sprite..
future stick talk and hella yellow rice..
siracha in the marinade?
Nice..
we just livin life right?
We Can't afford to think twice..
so we got paid to think wise..
So we Chase our visions and sights..

People might ask:"Do you ever get tired of writing poems so much?"
My answer to that is: "Nahh"
They're too much fun to watch the ink flourish and watch the amount of written paper grow by the day
and that you took all your grievances away
At least for a short time
before you do it all again

I don't know how is it possible that I keep seeing you in places and in people you can not be.
Today I picked a scenary similar to when we first got faded together.
I tried to push you out of my mind by having Rihanna (one of my  alter egos when I get high) tell me: 'Nahh girl, you will have a ******' happy trip and sorry but this ***** is killing your vibe!'
And Riri rarely speaks.
She liked you. She didn't like anyone.
So I tried to stop picking on the fresh wound in my soul
But you are still there painfully enough.
The first wave hit me and I was out.


I looked at that girl, much different looking than you, start to change.
Suddenly she had your fingers then she put on your face
then your short Harry Potterish hair
and lastly your beautiful eyes.
I will try to not forget them. I promise.
I probably didn't mean to you not even as close like you did to me so why are you showing yourself in MY mind?
Did I matter after all?
Or am I delusional and my sick brain is a Joker's playground?

I feel like I really did love you.
Like for real real.
Because you've inhabited the inside of my ribcage ever since I laid my eyes on you.
Maybe that wasn't some ordinary love because you were never ordinary.
You were a miracle.

In my dreams, you told me how your god now is the devil himself and it struck me how happy you seemed.
And all I ever wanted is for you to be truly happy forever...
So I stopped praying for your mercy.
I've seen you happy for the first time and it doesn't seem like you need it.

3 months since you've been gone
And your demons are now my roommates.

We sit in the middle of the the universe. Truely. ?

The earth is flat .the horizon.
Falls away to oblivion TRUELY.  ?

If man was meant to fly he.would sprout wings.
REALLY?

My god is the real god.
TRUELY. ?

Freedom is. For free

Really ?.                                                The meek shall inherit the earth.
                  
    


                                      Still reading the ticker tape on that.
                                                             One.

Absolute power corrupts. Absolutly
Absolutly !!!!! .

Will a bear **** in the woods?
Probably !.                                                     Is this poem going anywhere?
                                                                      Nahh.
Just a goof.

Listen to the birds in the trees singing their lovely melodies
Listen to the waves crashing against the shores washing away all your worries
Listen to the Earth shake, rattle, and roll as it dances beneath your feet
Now pause, this is where life was meant to be
A gaint party
Stress free and away from society
But is it ever going to be that way
Hell to the ******* nahh
Though one can still dream
But wait hear me now
We allow life to control too much of our lives
Don't think about that line too much
What we need to do is flow like the waves in the sea
Stop being this thing we are not and just be quote on quote me
And by me i mean yourself and not this ******* you front to society
Hoping to be accepted by thee
Bowing down to its knees
Actually see what is front of you and respond to it accordingly
Now I'm just trying to make this sound catchy apparently
But point blank period
Carpe Diem, Latin for seize the day
And set yourself free from the life we blindly obey

Friends with benefits is dumb
But what man you know would drop that
Me?!
You call me like a boyfriend but we’re not together so I have to pick your brain to see who I am today
I came to pick you up to see my friend but my friend wants to **** me
trust me when I saw the pattern and my head clicked I was like in slow motion “ oh ****” then drop the lunch meat.
and stared at the wrapper with the price saying 1.29
And was like “Is that what you value me?”

You could of got The premium pack where it comes in all three...
Love, *** and everything
I believe friends with benefits is Like a guy or girl going into the store with a basket full of the expensive stuff and looks at you the premium stuff and say nahh I want the great value in you

'why do you do it,
you perhaps need to stop?!
you'll permanently damage your self!'

I'd reply,
'Nahh!'
What I ment was this...

'That's the idea,
It was once a punishment for a fat child,
who was to weak to look after himself.

Now it's still a punishment,
but this time for a weak man,
not strong enough to care for the one he loves.'

"ways to escape life. run? nahh, they just come back around.
hide? well ,
it'll stick like a shadow.
jump? my soul would leave this place eventually ; black hole abyss... lets
not.
can we float? like a balloon. it follows where ever the air takes it. a
happier place. where books are not judged ; the paper wounds on our hearts
are untouched ;
where we begin 'us' .
im floating on air
with my balloon in hand
as life gets easier .

Living in a rotten train$$$$$
The floor boards
Have got some.
Gin and tonic stains$$$$$$$
Hooked on Phonix
was a proper way.*$$$$$
To say I like cds.
More than
My body in drag
Someone
Call up doctor dre.....&&&&$$$$$
Side note
For a stalker case$$$$$$$
You like music little loser
Don't be ******* dropping hate.$$$$$$

I could stock your place of residence
Like a Charlie Manson case.
Pull out the hockey tape.$$$$$
And separate your
Body weight.
From all the cancer brains.
That make the jetsons.
Look like copy paste.%%%^^^&*$$$
I'm futuristic.
Beautiful forensic.
Like a movie from elaborate
Candle fans
That gotta play
Director roger k"""%%%$$$
Louder than
Beats tuned from doctor dre$$%%%$/
An obnoxious way
To say
You couldn't stop
The onslaught.
If you had a drop of toddlers blood.
About to be immunized
Oh my God. Nahh wayyyy¥¥¥£¥¥£₩

i is
i am
nahh

computer says say more

2 am thoughts

Its 2 am and iam still awake but nothing serious I am ok
But wait why am awake did you thinking about me to?
Nahh it’s just me messing my imagination again
Pretending you thinking me to

2:20am in the morning and i am still awake and
I can’t stop think about u for sure you can’t sleep to
I am sorry can’t help myself to stop thinking about you
But don’t worry I might stop to

2:30 am in the morning and i am still awake
My thoughts are giving me chills that can head me into fever
But don’t worry I can handle it
Just be safe there and myself will stable to

2:40am in the morning and i am still awake
For you
Waiting that somehow i can message you that i miss you
But can’t do it to thinking that you might get irritated to me
Because you don’t want to??

2:50 in the morning and its almost 3 am and i am still awake
Thinking to open our chat box and say it to you
But no I really can’t it’s not yet time for it because i promise to you that i wait for you to be ready even till the end of time

3:00 in the morning and i am about to sleep right now but before that I pray
That whatever happens? God will protect you that  
No one will hurt you at all times and give you  happiness that you deserve till the end of time


Hey I am about to sleep Just remember if u can’t sleep i am sorry thinking about u
Messing around my thoughts that you think me about me to
But probably some day you can understand me and might read this piece and realizing that how I am lucky for waiting for you

Ps. I Still Love You ♥️