i said
i’m gonna put down the pen
replace the empty space with things that don’t leave marks

but god there’s so much permanence
in the smell of tobacco and gardenias
wicker patterned skin
coffee pots clanking against iron in a sunless noon

pill bottles rattling like music too distant to hear how sad it is
castles of baby shampoo bubbles and layers of egyptian cotton dismantled by a fan
syfy channel on but watching the curtains dance instead
small pink toes pressed into green carpet
kicking down the door again

it doesn’t just linger, it stains
like soft fingerprints on my mahogany heart

the pendulum swings
t-twice

belladonna berries by mouth
angel's orders

limbs stretched out
backwards embrace to
earth

pupils expand like
spilled anti-milk

last minutes
final comfort of
letting go

my heart beats now
for every cheek blushed
please
remember me
fearless
nightshade belly full
smashing the skull
to fine white dust

chest *****
knocking on breastbone
like gold on mohagony
once
twice

when the door opens
i will fall, in love

fall, in love