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you led me to a field of baby pink clouds
with fairy lights in your stomach
and sunflowers wrapped around your thighs;
you were radiating like magnesium on fire.
you could drive across the oceans
or fly underground if you wanted.
you held the light in your hands
and your toes tingled with happiness.
we laughed with red velvet poppies,
cried with lavender-scented blades.
i stopped laughing,
stopped crying;
you had stopped laughing too,
but you were still crying.

the sunflowers that kissed your thighs
were beginning to wilt with doubt
and seeped into your skin,
and the fairy lights that shined in your stomach
burned you to death from the inside,
leaving you feeling nothing.

i sang songs of hope into your lungs
in attempt to revive you,
but you had buried yourself six feet underground
and left your friends three feet through.
i didn't give up though.
i refused to give up.
i sang songs of hope
until they became cries for help.
i was so desperate to keep you in one piece
that i had fallen and shattered into millions of pieces,
yet i shoved the shards into my mouth
and kept them under my tongue
while you told me
that you admired how strong and carefree i could be.

the thing is, dear melisa,
it's hard to tell others not to worry,
     when you yourself worry.
it's hard to convince others to live to see another day
     when you don't even know if you can make it out alive.
it's hard to stay standing strong
     when you feel like everyone around you is falling.

i cried for help
for you.
i cried because
i wanted you
to be able
to feel again.
if you're reading this, know that you will get back up. i believe in you, and i always will.
melisa1 Sep 2009
Forever  my love

He  lay next to me only seconds ago
I hear his breath moving too and fro
I roll back over and return to sleep
Not knowing I'd wake up to mourn and weep
My life was beautiful and my heart once whole  
Until the morning when I lost his soul

My love, my life, why did it end
For without you my heart will never mend

How in the world will I ever get through this
For everything about you I really do miss

He was my ears and eyes and through him I see
Oh God I beg  please bring him back to me

Please never tell me I'll be fine
because it is only a matter of time

They are empty words with little or no meaning
To those who do knot know just what I am feeling

If you are there my God Almighty and giving
Please take me away from the misery I'm living

Then one moment you open my eyes
And I have to see now for these little guys

They are pieces of you my love, although you're not here
Reminding me daily that you are truly near

I tell myself there will come a time
I too shall walk where you shine

From here on out my heart will be broken
Until that moment I hear your words soft spoken






Melisa Hamling

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