"lohan" poems
Sunday:
Ant Pills
Bear Traps
Cobra Feet
Monday:
Dolphin Lungs
Eel Soup
Frog Limbs
Tuesday:
Gecko Suits
Horse Pie
Inchworm ***
Wednesday:
Jaguar Barbed
Koala Beer
Lynx Lynch
Thursday:
Monkey Chips
Narwhal Fashions
Otter Drugs
Friday:
Porcupine Rehab
Quail Map
Roadrunner Piano
Saturday:
Slug Party
Turkey Slop
Urchin See
Sunday:
Vulture Guns
Walrus Tongues
X No
Monday:
Yellowjacket Fever
Zebra Clowns
Oct 4, 2010
Oct 4, 2010 at 9:08 PM UTC
Supposedly too much television will rot your brain away
BUT... you can 't believe what everyone may say
KERMIT told us it ain't easy being green
TAYLOR SWIFT taught us people can be trouble & really mean
SEBASTIAN the CRAB told us it is better down where it is wetter
CINDERELLA taught us that eventually things will get better
SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS told us over & over he's READY! he's READY!
THE TORTOISE taught us that being quick may not always work
KAYNE WEST taught us people are rude, interrupting, annoying & huge jerks
MR KRABS taught us some people are money hungry & greedy
LINDSAY LOHAN taught us some people are attention needy
DORA THE EXPLORER taught us to live our life as an adventure & go explore
SWIPER taught us to always go for more
SQUIDWARD taught us not everyone has happiness to share
PATRICK STAR taught us that some people's heads are filled with air
PLANKTON taught us that you can never give up on reaching your goal
ALICE's curiosity taught us don't chase white rabbits with pocket watches down their hole
PETER PAN taught us to live carefree & have no worries at all
HORTON taught us that a person is a person no matter how small
THE LORAX taught us to take care of our trees
SNOW WHITE taught us that there maybe more than what the eye sees
TOMMY PICKLES taught us sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do
THE GRINCH taught us that deep down inside, the cruel have hearts too
NEMO'S DAD MARLIN taught us you can't protect people from all & or any danger
BARNEY taught us not to talk to a stranger
TIMONE & PUMBA taught us "HAKUNA MATATA"
LILO & STITCH taught us no one gets left behind or forgotten, that is "OHANA"
SOUTH PARK taught us not to give a **** & some friends can be a huge ****** BAG
JUSTIN BIEBER taught us what isn't "SWAG"
STEWIE taught us that even if you're talking not everyone is listening
NELLY taught us that not everywhere has air conditioning "HOT IN HERRE"
DOROTHY taught us is you want to go home just click your heels three times & repeat "THERE IS NO PLACE LIKE HOME"
SOUTH PARK'S TWEAK taught us that your underwear get stolen by the underwear gnomes
So much we've unknowingly managed to obtain
secretly stored in our brain
celebrities, songs, shows & even cartoons have taught us a lot
& that's what life lessons are all about
little hidden lessons & messages everywhere
& completely unaware you pass it on & share
Aug 17, 2015
Aug 17, 2015 at 4:00 AM UTC
In my office me and Gonzo waited speaking on deep issues
with no true meaning as usual.
Bastardo's heart had been broken for Drew had left him a beaten and
love bitten luchador slash attorney.
Senior Gonzo speaking endlessly to the hat rack had reminded me why
I never dropped acid anymore.
Poor gonzo had just been served with divorce papers to which
his only response was ****** amigo i never knew i was married.
As his attorney i belived a trip to mexico was outta the question for i had just got back do to some well a misunderstanding its legal
jargin you couldnt possibly understand.
His deadline was near and without my solid advise this man wouldnt be able to pull it off so being we had been in the bar for more than
eight hours we decided to make a exit through the mens room window.
Front doors are over rated.
In my legal office slash camper hey eveyone starts somewhere
okay.
I was reminded of my loved hellcat Drew
she had left many items here a satanic bible her boil cream.
how I did mis rubbing her webbed toes.
How was i to work Gonzo was a mess hidding under the table
so the ginger bread people couldnt find him
and return him to there bitter talentless leader
Kate Perry i swear if you stab me one more time senior gonzo
with that fork in my maracas im going to get medevile on your ***
Oh how i missed my tag team partner drew.
i should never have introduced her el man donkey who
resist such a uhh personallity.
But now here I sit with a madman under my table tripping his
***** off insisting I contact Simon Cowell to inform him
man tities are so yesterday.
If only I had gotten the Lindsy Lohan case I would finally have gotten my brake or maybe just a std.
Oh well theres always hope Mel Gibson will need me.
The road warrior was a true classico and he seemed so well
balanced compared to my reallity challenged cilent.
Remember kids if ever you have a chance to trip with senior Gonzo
its probaly best you hide all sharp objects.
adios Bastardo
Jul 15, 2010
Jul 15, 2010 at 8:10 AM UTC
words hurt.
have you ever been stabbed by an adjective
or ripped up inside by a verb?
how about those adverbs that modify
the emptiness we all feel inside?
words are a living creature.
lurking over the enjambment of the letters,
terrorizing those who hear them.
and yet;
we still use them.
pushing us over the edge
as they're muttered by those who
are not worthy of their power.
of their
grace.
but nouns hurt the worst.
razor blades and lemon juice
are like an ant to a human
compared to nouns.
and the only way we can combat
these fierce enemies
is to not listen.
but how can i cover my ears from
something i adore?
and how can i cover my ears
to protect myself from words when
i need them?
i need them more than Tina needed Ike
more than Lindsay Lohan needs coke
more than Beyonce needs Jay
more than Lucifer needs God to stay alive.
And how can I shield myself from words
when all I want to do
is hear the phrase
"everything is going to be okay."
Nov 27, 2013
Nov 27, 2013 at 1:53 AM UTC
*Cossack Cowboys
Riding Llamas
That they dress
In pink pajamas
Teeny boppers
Blowing bubbles
Biker chicks
Causing trouble
Nuns in Habits
Punks in chains
One or two
Of the deranged
Rubbing Buddha belly
Cravers
And the band
Harvey Danger
David Bowie
Elton John
Both of them
With Spacesuits on
Vegetarians
Eating chicken
Love it fried
Finger licking
In a line to
Meet and greet Obama
Now I wish
I'd brought my Mama
On the T.V.
Slicing, Dicing
Infomercials
Are enlightening
Lindsey Lohan
There's more trouble
Send the Police
On the double
Michael Jackson
With his monkey
Chandelier
Swinging junkies
Bottle Rocket
Ridding crickets
Dolly Parton
Doing dishes
Tubs of Crisco
Set for wrestling
Bee Gees do be
Disco dancing
With Bruce Jenner
Wearing makeup
Dolly's kitchen
Filled with soap suds
Rubber band
Bumper babies
Call me odd
Don't call me crazy
Shooting stars
Carry Uzis
Washed up stars
Drink beer in Koozies
Donnie Osmond
Singing show tunes
As Marie blows
Animal balloons
Circus Barkers
And their Minions
Waylon left us
Shooter Jennings
Heidi Klum
Without makeup
To say the least
She looks a bit rough
American flags
As rainbow banners
Peal, scratch, and sniff
Talking bananas
Hookha smoking
Manatees
Oh yea...
and then there's me
These are just a few of the things that lean
On the lamp post of my dreams*
Feb 2, 2015
Feb 2, 2015 at 1:50 PM UTC
Bye bye Boy, I'm done with regret
I know we haven't even met
But I'm turning a new leaf
And you best believe
This is gonna be a brand new beginning
A new way to experience my poetry
Hello Girl, hey, where you goin?
Walkin off like she thinks she's Lindsay Lohan
I ain't done yet! And you can bet
You don't wanna turn that new leaf
Without me
Cuz time is a thief
Oh YOU can walk off, stomp off and cuss
But all you REALLY wanna experience
.....Is us
Hey there little Boy,
First off.. Lindsay?
She's got nothing on me
Secondly...
Where you come off acting all cocky?
Like you actually know me
I'll walk away if I **** well please**
Look at you
Smiling
Like you think I won't do it
Have you never met a poet?
I'll walk, no I'll run...
Drip this ink I got for bullets
Out of my gun
On this page
Just for fun
Hold up, now anybody could see
That even YOU had enough
Sense to spell Boy
With a BIG B
And I DO know YOU
And you CAN walk away this is TRUE
It's cool
Cuz all I'ma do
Is follow you
Follow you
Till you don't run no more
Just let me get my feet in the door
And what you got guns out for?
Girl, I'm a lover not a fighter
A man whose heart burns with desire
Stop all this walking, all this running
PLEASE sit DOWN!
How do you KNOW I don't deserve your hearts CROWN?
Fine then boy,
Maybe I just like being chased
But seriously, stop wasting my time
I run even faster when love is on the line
Love = Heartbreak
I've learned that a time or two
I'm not gonna get my self tore up
Over the likes of You
Boy... Can't you just see
I'm through
Done with the misery
I'm not gonna sit down
I Am gonna run away
Trust me...
You don't really want me to stay
I'm gonna get out my gun,
Use the ink I have for bullets
Start writing down my misery
In tiny poetic fragments
Hoping you can't really see
All my disappointments
I'm sorry,
I'm sorry that someone,
A LOT of someones, got here before me
And they hurt you and I'm sure I don't know WHAT you've been through
But don't you at least wanna TRY?
You really gonna tell me you can't SEE that in my eyes
That PASSION, that LOVE
I always heard that love was ENOUGH
And I got your BACK on your writing
Cuz I know it EASES your pain
We'll have a lifetime together,
Hold on, let me explain
I KNOW what you WANT
What you WANT is FOREVER
And to do it like that ..
We're gonna HAVE to be clever
Sometimes the ONLY way to be BROKEN
Is
BROKEN TOGETHER
Nov 7, 2014
Nov 7, 2014 at 3:22 PM UTC
once a collage
hung on a wide white wall
with monochrome photos of
all creatures great and small
Dali juxtaposed with Doris Day,
LBJ atop JFK, and Joe DiMaggio,
grinning Frankenstein and frowning
Frank Sinatra, not far below
Hemingway, Groucho Marx, Marlon Brando
occupying three of four corners, the bottom right
a curious cat, in stretched repose
dead center, a cracked crucifix
and four Beatles all, Paul the biggest
with the cross crowning his frame
a Corvette,
and Stalin in his tomb
were also given ample room,
on this black and white piece of art
as were ****** Cleaver, with cap,
Jimi Hendrix with axe
another three score
and a couple more, completed
this cacophony of sight, but absent
were J. Bieber, Beyonce, any of the Simpsons
of Fox fame, revealing the artist of this gray masterpiece
was blissfully blind to cyber sacrilege,
Steve Job’s toys, and the lost soul
of Lindsey Lohan
Jan 17, 2015
Jan 17, 2015 at 5:21 PM UTC
remember when we were best friends? and every time you created a rainshower i was always there as the sun to clear up the puddles. remember when we would run our mouths like motor boats but there was always something to talk about. remember when we would laugh until we developed six packs and our lungs gave up remember when we were eachothers diaries remember when we were best friends?
remember on the first day of high school we were eachothers solid rocks and behind eachother every step of the way; and remember the second year when we didnt call. remember when i was there when you stole that snickers but i sealed my mouth as shut as an antique chest and the secret was lost in my secret garden never to be spoken of again. remember when those girls we saw as caddy and were the meaning of mean girls? we always said we would never transform into them. remember when you changed your hair masked your face and caged your feelings to become one of those plastic barbies? remember when you stabbed her in the back and kicked dirt in her face for initiation and left her in the middle of hallway and you flipped your hair up in the uniformed step away..with the mean girls. Honey you were the lindsay lohan of that clique-not the leader but the caboose of that train. you were to blinded by the shiny fame that dangled in your face.
remember when karma came back and bit you in the *** remember the rainshower you created in result of being dropped and kicked to the side, in result of being that doll left on the shelf as result of being that tissue that was blown and thrown away as if you meant nothing remember that?
you finally remembered how i used to be you sun to clear up those puddles and make you warm again but now, you will ALWAYS remember, the way you used up my sun rays and threw me out when finished, the way you ran over my feet in order to get in that line the way you made me my spine just a little bit stronger with the tears that watered my esteem.
but what goes around comes around. im no longer your sunshine, but im now the darkness that lurks, that nothingness, i have no more rays of sunshine to warm you up and pick you up,
for what goes around comes around
i bet you will always remember that.
Jan 6, 2014
Jan 6, 2014 at 5:34 PM UTC
My eyes were fire
and they hurt
But you were awfully chilly.
If you just got a little closer, maybe-
You told me I was beautiful
And I knew it was a lie
But it meant I was worth
Lying to, didn’t it?-
You said you’d fight till the end
I pretended to believe you
Pretended so hard
I scalded my insides
I said I was a bad dream
An echo of the girl you wanted
You chuckled and said you knew
But you couldn’t, could you-
You wanted an angel
I gave you a harlot
A Lohan Mary Magdalene
Wrapped in a mask of candlelight.
I didn’t mean to hurt you, Dear.
I wish that wasn’t a lie
I wish you were a fairytale
And that I were not an
Arsonist.
Apr 19, 2015
Apr 19, 2015 at 8:36 PM UTC
the character the Unnamed Actress
is a meant to be a composite [ ]
of vintage Lindsay Lohan & classic
Jennifer Lawrence; LiLo & JLaw -
that's it, half talent crossed w/ no talent;
a real high-wire act; but she loves Eli
& never gives her name b/c everyone
recognizes her, at first from 'somewhere',
& then from Igor's art movies;
her Hollywood career
in shambles from chasing Eli all the way
to St. Petersburg; her career
in Internationalist faux-art films
just beginning
Aug 19, 2018
Aug 19, 2018 at 4:47 PM UTC
in the 70's we still called them perverts;
trading in sunglasses
& raincoats & braces for the secret
world of the scanned pages of old **** [
in the eighties, we were called pedophiles
until NMBLA took off &
toddler beauty pageants
went mainstream; [1990's-Now: society has undergone a
chemical castration much like Turing's:
computers control
everything: women
control our *** lives:
the courts control women's bodies;
society is out of control: tween-ty something poets
are recovering addicts]; how will we
recover from _them_?
_By Resurrecting Lindsay Lohan: starving herself,
hysterical on drugs, running naked down the street_
Jul 9, 2018
Jul 9, 2018 at 3:33 PM UTC
out of the past
comes this migration
on mainline wings
of separation
as they call to you
later in the evening
while you're sleeping
gently hidden
secluded in the shadows
of forbidden fear
when it comes your
time to answer
for this self inflicted cancer
say my name
so only
you
can
hear
Jul 28, 2013
Jul 28, 2013 at 11:12 PM UTC
We forgot to build a snowman,
and we melted--
Guess who melted first.
But before we turned eighteen,
or even fifteen,
questions rolled into our houses
like sick bulldozers
for sick families.
I was never happy with the way
we held our hands together after
you started wearing those gloves.
I remember clearly
how you worded it when
you decided not to take my
"no" for an answer,
but I can't quite recall how you
pronounced it,
and your voice is all but totally replaced
with Lindsay Lohan's in my head:
"Now I'm writing to impress you,
and I hate that."
Sweet. There's the door.
Leave the pencil.
Dec 21, 2014
Dec 21, 2014 at 10:35 PM UTC
Patty Duke; Haley Mills; Lindsay Lohan; Jeannie;
Samantha; where's an Evil twin when you need one.
Oct 13, 2018
Oct 13, 2018 at 1:56 PM UTC
/ ( ( \
/\
& how so ever long it takes
We shall finally appear
Whole and sound
////
god is speaking
Oh !
There you are !
///
In even high school corridors
There is a feeling
A subtle feeling
A simple feeling
That lingers for a while
•
Even the naked babe !
Helpless
( on the rocky ledge )
is the spokesman for the universe
HUSH !
( she is about to speak ! )
••
She stopped wearing a bra and said
" I am now free "
And by god ! ...... She was !
••
Magical
Mystic
Powers
( don't hang with a girl without them ! )
I mean
WHAT FOR !
•
every naked girl is the same
( can't you see that ? )
••
If ya want a slutty rich girl
Might as well seek Miley Cyrus or Lindsey Lohan !!
( oh ---- you already are ! )
••
From out the garbage dump of reality
We come slowly
Trying to save our ****
///
We find each other
And start to know ourselves
.
.
Jan 16, 2016
Jan 16, 2016 at 4:15 PM UTC