I have no one to blame but me
Its a shame you see
addiction
Lays it claim on me
I am no longer free
Who am i to be
Or not to be
Surrounded by this dark energy
I watch as it consumes me
Slowly owning me
Behind closed doors
Pretending not to be loanly
Hoping no orne notices
Every time i flee

I'v been
Denying the severity
Of this disease
Even though
Its so clear to me
I think i pull it off so cleverly
How deceitful I can be
Im a stones throw from the sea
Its water now approaches me
With rapid speed
Its a trap indeed
This selfish greed as I feed
My desire to consume
All the drugs I think I need
My future looking bleak
I feel to weak
To turn my cheek
When someone offers
it to me for free
when really its never free
Look at what its costing me
Im loosing my ability
To function in this reality

Silly me
choosing that which
Is killing me
Overindulging
In my dark side
That can only be described
As prolonged suicide
A choice which seems so easy

As the waves now come over me
Im in to deep
Im drowning and i cannot breath
Nor see
The direction of the shore
Eludes me
I conclude this to be my destiny
I sink to the bottom of what i
Hoped I'd never be
And then it came to me
I need to start
Excepting this demonic
Side of me
My whole life I'v been lied
To by so many people close to me
And treated differently
By most people who
don't know me
Now i see
I was the one
who let this effect me

At a young age
During the developmental stage
I learned behaviours
That would develop
Into some kind of mental cage
Now its time to turn the page
Release this rage
And take responsibility
For the way i respond
to this reality
In this new age
Mental clarity
was always hard for me
I seem to see beyond
The beauty
that surrounds me
And view this world as
A catastrophe
Always fearing the worst
This mental curse
Nearly makes my head burst
this always ends in hurt

For a long time
I thought everyones perception
Was like mine
Turns out
i have a different kind of mind
I'v learnt in time
I cannot expect
Others to reflect each others own
unique Intellect
not evan for a sec
This i have come to accept
and the more i accept
The better i will get
At understanding me
And the things that keep
Me from my sobriety