"kardashians" poems
You choose a sepia filter
To match your timeless visage
To match the clothes you've wandered into today
But it is not a selfie.
Your eyes pierce them through their iPhone screens
Your smile is casually not directed towards anyone in particular
Your outfit is recklessly on point
And it is not a selfie.
It is a punch in the gut
to everyone who has ever
said you are not good enough.
It is not a selfie.
The wings by your eyes will go out of style.
The dye in your hair will wash down the drain.
The clothes will wear out and you will take pictures again.
But you have fabricated a moment.
You are smiling towards yourself.
Slap your image onto every social media you know
Next to the supermodels and Kardashians and words of self hatred
This is the fulcrum with which you will lever the world.
This is not a selfie.
Aug 14, 2014
Aug 14, 2014 at 6:10 AM UTC
You may think you are special
Because you are rolling in money
And have lots of boyfriends
But the reality is as different
As chalk is from cheese
A person is special
Due to his/her character
Or what s/he does
You have a personality that is so shallow
That it would put even the Kardashians to shame
And that is saying something
You do not know the first thing about friendship
And yet consider yourself an ideal friend
To one and all
While you proceed to ghost someone
Whom you've known for years and years
All because of a silly comment
On a photo of yours on social media
Someone may be your BFF one day
And turn into a mere acquaintance the next day
For you, people are like bubblegum wrappers
To be used and thrown at a moment's notice
Of course, as we all know
There's no point in breaking your head over people
Especially in a our rather fickle-minded society
But when you act all high and mighty
As though you're always right
And everyone else is wrong
It really gets my goat
Again, you may think you are special
Based on money, good looks or the number of boyfriends you have
But all these will get you nowhere in life
Because, there will be a time
When you are in desperate need of help
And you will find
That the only people who can be of use
Are the ones whom you've already chucked
Nov 24, 2022
Nov 24, 2022 at 11:53 AM UTC
I'd rather keep running this imaginary marathon going
Because the pulse just keeps getting stronger
And i don't get this feeling often
So i'd rather keep up with you until the moments notice
Forget about the tropes that keep us on the rope
I gave the Television all the soap it wanted
Now it's running it's operas
And i'm running the marathon
For something
For something i'm unsure of
For someone?
Whatever it is, it's better than Keeping Up With The Kardashians.
TV rots your brain
I favor going against the grain
No offense guys
But keeping up in Marathons is much healthier
The water companies will thank you
Why should they not?
Thanks for not letting me rot
Whatever it is
Whoever you are
I'd keep up with you.
Nov 28, 2015
Nov 28, 2015 at 6:11 PM UTC
Build a ***** workshop
(Where we feed on your insecurities for profit)
Don’t like what your mirror has to offer
In need of a quick fix because your size 0 jeans won’t fit
Well destroy your body like our ecosystem
With plastic to make you look fantastic
Because looking like an overstocked toy is the new ****
Change your completion until there’s nothing left
While tosh points out how you’re worthless without *******
which brings out insecurity galore
You need to be Barbie if you want
Ken and his Malibu beach house
Everyone knows you’re only worth as much as your waist line
Don’t judge a book by its cover
But my generation doesn’t even read
Photo shopped teens as far as the eye can see
Post photos
That strips away your dignity
For a spot on a that new reality TV series
Forget about the news because the kardashians bought new shoes
Mom asks So what did you learn today at school
A cool equation that the other kids taught me
My body – eating + surgery +pills= picture perfect girl
Or new American dream
Big ******* small waist, always sleeping around, never complain , don’t feel ashamed that’s the only way to play the game
How many pills did you take to look that anorexic?
Who made you feel so uncomfortable in your own skin?
How many meals did you shove down the bathroom sink?
How many surgeries did it take for you to become this fake?
The sad part is I bet you even Barbie didn't have this many plastic pieces
Mar 31, 2015
Mar 31, 2015 at 8:35 PM UTC
.
The oceans are dying,
Coral reefs are bleached,
Ghostly acidic in the seas,
Climate is changing, not for Nero,
But for subjects who wait in whirlwinds
Eye, underneath uncapped mountain peaks,
And water is draining underground. Where is
Reason, where is sense uncommon? Not with
Elected hands who are wringing to lords of zero,
Whose legions are sent off, engaged in foreign wars,
To scathe, faraway dramas brought back home,
Politicians squabble, as they reel, cashing in,
Seals of unapprovals, witness hollow, low rings,
Infrastructure crumbles, above our dry heads,
And Nero plays his fiddle, in a land of perky dead,
John Lennon said NYC was in reality the new
Rome, soon set to burn, in a decade or so,
Nero knows, Nero plays, could give a feck'
Humanity is Nero playing his fiery fiddle
There is only one issue of news that matters,
Not bread, or circus, Kardashians, or deflated
Footballs, it is our survival, the earth, heating up,
Is angry and we are small, deaf, blind and numb,
A mankind of fools with Nero playing his fiddle.
Jun 25, 2015
Jun 25, 2015 at 8:35 PM UTC
I cant wait to speak to you now
To see your face
Your my home
Your what i know
And when i said i hated you
It wasnt true
But i do hate what youve done to me
I hate that i love you
A little bit
A lot
Now
Now when i feel crazy
And then actually
Then when i said i hated you, cos i was crazy, cos i love you, and thats what this love has done to me, made me crazy, an thats what i hate.
Oh and now
Because your away and i cant see you and feel you and make you laugh, i really want to make you laugh
And see your smile
And taste your lips
And make you ***
I fantasise daily
About how im gonna tie you up and make you *** the night you get back
In reality il probably be shy
But i have friends, i have hobbies, i have important **** to do for **** sake
But im sitting here, missing you
Writing this
Recording shows and films on the box for us to watch together when you get back
The notebook
We have to watch the notebook
And im fine
Dont get me wrong im fine, i get to sleep okay
And im chillin, seein people, might see matt this week, talking to didi an toe, seeing family
Im fine, please dont get a big ego
But im just not
Home
Im not tingly
Or excited
I cant explain it
I dont have you
I dont have you in my arms an sometimes that makes me sad
And then i start thinking about all the things that iv done wrong
And all these great things im gonna do when ur back
I am, im going to appreciate you more
And im going to play cool a bit more
Dont know how im gonna do both
But i am
Im gonna appreciate you because i want to,
Because i look back on this short time weve been together and so many things that you have done for me make me smile, make me so grateful and make me so happy. Like the cash machine one :) and staying at my house when i was at work, and being patient when i dont know what to wear(corfu and tims)
And all this makes me think, **** What have i ever done for this boy
He is amazing and he loves me, **** knows why but he does and its insane
Oh and then im gonna play it cool, thats right
Im gonna play it cool because i dont want to ruin it
I dont want to show too much
Of my feelings of absolute passionate never-before-felt-like-this love!
And i dont want those nice things you do to stop
I dont want you to stop trying
Because its boring
Because you know youve got me
Got me ignoring other guys texts
Got me thinking about no one else but you
Got me absorbed in you
Got me missing you like crazy, writing stupid love notes at midnight, drinking rose on my own, when i havnt seen you for a mere two weeks
That kindov got me
Thats what you cant know
So im gonna miss you
But then im gonna see you
Soon
Soon im gonna wrap my whole body around yours like a vice
I wanna jump on you, i wanna run an jump when i see you like we used to do in the corridor of galbraith
Even tho i know im so heavy
You dont act like i am
And i wanna bury my head deep in your neck and kiss it
And now i cant write anymore
Cos its too much
So il watch kardashians
Take my mind of you
Not long now and il be home
I mean, you'll be home.
Aug 6, 2013
Aug 6, 2013 at 8:49 PM UTC
Poem a day, day 24
Watching the Kardashians on TV at work
He says 'Oh I hate them'
'Isn't she engaged to so-and-so?'
Really? If you 'hate' them why do you follow what they do?
I'm not particularly fussed on the Kardashians
For that reason I don't know
What's going on in their life.
Really not interested.
Because I don't know about them
I don't know them well enough
To decide to hate them.
I guess some people enjoy negativity.
Continuing comments on the people involved
Why are their lives so important to you?
Perhaps if you hate them, avoid them?
Sure it's none of my business
But I can't avoid your opinion
I would be happy to do so.
Please keep it none of my business.
Just like the Kardashians
Dec 24, 2013
Dec 24, 2013 at 12:12 AM UTC
Here's an idea
Now please here me out
Over this random thought that just popped in my head
Smack dab in the middle
Of blowing a bubble
I thought what if my gum could chew it's own self instead
The thought did cross
What about flavor
I guess I could stick it to the end of a straw
Then I could still savor
The bubblegum flavor
While giving a rest to my tired worn out old jaw
I know what your thinking
The man is a genius
This idea is BIG! This idea is HOT!
If you want to be a part
Of this ground breaking action
Send money now, we're going straight to the top
Bigger than Barney®
Cooler than Xbox®
More fun to watch than the Kardashians on T.V.
When I look at this gum
I see the future
Chewing itself into the chronicles of history
Apr 21, 2013
Apr 21, 2013 at 7:43 AM UTC
To Kanye, what's with your hate on Tupac, when you were trying to hate on em' you were just describing yourself. Man Tupac was the real deal, your just a sell out. You've obviously been hanging out with the Kardashians too long because you've become a real ***** Man your music is pretty good no lie, but compared to Tupac's music it's a bunch of **** So pack your bags and leave rap, just get out. You're a fool, a narcissist, the only thing you deserve is a punch to your face, maybe it'll knock some sense back into your brain. Maybe then you'll realize your crucial mistake. Kanye you have lost my respect, and I'm not the only one. You're not a real rapper you're just a jealous little troll who should've stayed under their bridge. All you care about is the spotlight, you're a pertinacious big shot with a tiny **** you're a disgrace to music, to put it bluntly you just ****
Sep 24, 2014
Sep 24, 2014 at 5:08 PM UTC
Running the gauntlet down Midchester Road,
A veritable suburb of Gleethorpes City,
You pass a line of house-castles
Of the well to do.
But don’t be fooled
By what you see,
For I know someone
Who lives there.
And he will tell you,
Of bountiful gardens
Stripped bare
And concreted over
So that families can park their fleets
Of expensive cars.
See those conservatory extensions
And widened pavements.
A lady poses,
Doing her best
To emulate the Kardashians.
Money attracts
No end of thugs
And dodgy dealers:
Swarming parasitic wasps
Around the honey ***
Nights of drunken revellers
From the local pub:
Swaying from trees
And kicking cans about.
Boy racers tearing down the road,
Music systems booming
With a mindless
Moronic drumming.
“Where has reality gone?” asks
My despairing friend.
They have their money
Their riches,
Expensive toys
But few of them are Happy.
What happened to “Goodness” and virtue
And dreams of Utopia?
Where are the heroes
Inventors and creators?
Instead we have a world of celebrity,
In which true talent – even genius
Is ignored and undervalued.
“Where are we going?” my friend exclaims.
Things get worse and worse,
The world all in reverse.
For it’s “Unreal City”,
Far from pretty.
So have a think,
Don’t let yourself sink
Even further into the mire.
Just get real,
You know the deal,
It’s you I’m trying to inspire.
Paul Butters
© PB 2\8\2019
(with help from a bloke who lives in such a place. Same town as me).
Aug 2, 2019
Aug 2, 2019 at 6:01 AM UTC
the big lie that is security
string them up
braid the rope from the poor
shoot shoot shoot first
am i on the list yet?
**** the fbi
**** the people satisfied
with diversions
power shot an innocent man
power hides the facts
shuffled like cards in a deck
surrounded by tinder
we are unwilling to start the fire
i repeat
the fbi shot an innocent man
and covered up the fact
with the kardashians
Sep 15, 2013
Sep 15, 2013 at 11:41 AM UTC
Even in certain circles in certain minds
in certain frames at certain times
We can't know what's true
And misconstrue can ring like
Miss you too
Self titles
Reign demeaning
And a finished product
Watched like a B-Rated pre-screening
Fed my gray matter
But the rest of me is depleting
Craig Morgan's playing baseball
Elliot Smith in the background screaming
Drinking OJ, it's how the Kardashians got there money,
Nothing good even came from the cover, trust me it didn't.
"She's in your hands now
Treat her like a Princess
You gotta respect her mind and her body"
"Welcome to Shaboom Shaboom"
May 6, 2017
May 6, 2017 at 2:04 AM UTC
I had a God; he was a
good God. Keeping me safe
with money, image, and time.
Blessing me, solid;
until my waist grew as thin as my wallet.
Buying all of your time.
I want to be on t.v.,
but not just any t.v.
I want the ratings to rise
with my celebrity skin,
my trending name,
commercialized sin.
I want to be sold separately
and told that I'm desperately
giving my body to a image heavy God,
sleeping on the skeleton of Malibu,
drinking dreams with a celebrity dog.
I want to be on t.v.
I want to be every thing
and more.
I had a God; he was a good God.
Played me his songs, wrapped
in his time. Kissing me goodbye,
tel ling me to sell shirts; telling me to
keep up with the trends.
Apr 16, 2017
Apr 16, 2017 at 5:55 PM UTC
My mother
slips to and fro,
mindless and mad
in a nursing home,
unaware
of the Kardashians,
impending financial collapse,
Say Yes To The Dress,
the corpse children
of Syria,
yoga pants
or the impending
asteroid.
Wherever she is,
she's not missing
much.
mce
Apr 12, 2015
Apr 12, 2015 at 8:00 PM UTC
Something Bad
Something bad is coming
Worse than any Grand Funk Railroad Reunion Concert
Worse than watching a full episode of Meet the Kardashians
With all commercials included.
I not only have read about it
I can feel it
So much more bothersome than
Hay fever in May.
It's the Universal Fender ******
Havoc beyond compare
It's Universal Affliction and Ruination
Heavy weight and high-profile kind of stuff.
This universe is dumb
So much stupider than the armadillos that get hit by my little Fiat
This universe is worse than any teen age driver
Not watching where it goes
Or what is coming down the road.
Ten to the ten to the ten to the ten and more universes out there
Outnumbering all the cable channels both regular and High Def
More numerous than all the cockroaches in all the cities on the East Coast
Going any which way they please
Not planning ahead
Or working with the AAA or the highway safety department
More universes than every single observation ever made by every single person
More than every single argument between all the married couples
In all countries
On all existing planets
In all existing galaxies.
Each time you think of a possible universe, it exists!
Unless we all stop thinking there will be more and more and more.
Each universe moving
Some fast
Some even faster
Some inches apart from each other
Concealed behind some hidden dimension
About to turn the corner at full speed.
There's a collision
A crash
Not too far up the road
Every universe distracted
As if they are texting away
Following their own set of laws
Without regard for any right of way.
There's a smash-up coming up very soon
One universe piles into another
with one of those universes being ours in particular
The one that I live in.
I am scared
I know that adding a shoulder harness to my office chair
is not going to be enough.
I am terrified
I cannot figure out
as I make my last will and testament
who I can leave the house and dog to.
Today, tomorrow or maybe later
It is sure to happen
All my plans for no purpose
All my purposes to no point
I panic
Abandoning all my activities
Crawling into the attic
Taking a pen
A flashlight
And a notebook
And wondering
If there is any new thought
I can have that might make this all better
Without creating
One more
**** reckless
Out-of-control
universe.
--Zumwalt (2011) (copied from www.zumpoems.com)
Aug 16, 2011
Aug 16, 2011 at 9:53 AM UTC
worse than knowing that you are a liar,
is knowing that you are lying.
the former, at least, allows for change...
to know what you are is one half of
this great cosmic **** of physical forces
which inexplicably leads to both
the Himalayas and the Kardashians,
after all.
ignoring the paradox of the liar
who states that he is a liar,
let's scale mountains
and cancel our cable.
Jul 19, 2013
Jul 19, 2013 at 1:48 PM UTC
.
The oceans are dying,
Coral reefs are bleached,
Ghostly acidic in the seas,
Climate is changing, not for Nero,
But for subjects who wait in whirlwinds
Eye, underneath uncapped mountain peaks,
And water is draining underground. Where is
Reason, where is sense uncommon? Not with
Elected hands who are wringing to lords of zero,
Whose legions are sent off, engaged in foreign wars,
To scathe, faraway dramas brought back home,
Politicians squabble, as they reel, cashing in,
Seals of unapprovals, witness hollow, low rings,
Infrastructure crumbles, above our dry heads,
And Nero plays his fiddle, in a land of perky dead,
John Lennon said NYC was in reality the new
Rome, soon set to burn, in a decade or so,
Nero knows, Nero plays, could give a feck'
Humanity is Nero playing his fiery fiddle
There is only one issue of news that matters,
Not bread, or circus, Kardashians, or deflated
Footballs, it is our survival, the earth, heating up,
Is angry and we are small, deaf, blind and numb,
A mankind of fools with Nero playing his fiddle.
Aug 26, 2017
Aug 26, 2017 at 6:07 PM UTC
Affluence creates
distorted dissatisfaction.
It makes morons want
to be the Kardashians.
It makes kind people
ignore the world's misery.
It makes unkind people
arrogant and pig headed.
It crowds out those
who are really important to you.
Eventually, it becomes who you are
and then you are no one at all.
All that's left is your stuff and you.
~mce
May 17, 2015
May 17, 2015 at 2:57 PM UTC
I do not walk around searching for acceptance from others.
No I do not care how many likes I get on that new selfie, I like photography and I value beauty in many ways.
No matter how much you think so,
I do not need your "incredibly life changing" word that Jesus supposedly gave you for me.
I definitely don't have to speak in tungs for God to hear me.
I don't need to have one night stands to feel loved and have worth.
I do not need your money, and no, money will NEVER fix all of your problems.
No I don't know the latest of what's happening with the kardashians, I have better things to do.
I don't need a big house I'd be fine with a one bedroom apartment.
I do not plan on marrying into money but if that happens, great.
Yes I like graffiti I think it's authentic and adds to the experience of the city.
I don't need or want **** or alchohol to have a good time.
I don't need to hear what you have to say about my make up or how I dress.
I like how I dress and I like me and I certainly don't need your help to make me look how YOU want me to look.
I hate stereo types, I think you should too.
I like classical music and also rap.
I think to have dreams in life is a gift from God.
I see the beauty in tattoos and skin with none
I see the beauty in pale skin and the beauty in dark skin.
I don't think there is a such thing as a "normal person."
I'm real with God and talk to him about the confusions I have with him.
I say if you like ranch on your burger, get it.
I think piercings are fun.
My rooms not always clean.
And all together that sums up me:)
Aug 30, 2014
Aug 30, 2014 at 9:51 PM UTC
“I want to be famous.”
Is what I used to tell my parents.
“Why?”
They’d ask.
“So people will love me”
Now that is partly true,
Who doesn’t want to be accepted and loved by those around them?
But
I have something else to say.
I don’t only long for the people to love me.
I long to stand up for the people who don’t know they’re being taken advantage of.
I want to open people’s eyes.
To show them that there is more to life than
work, or politics, or who’s dating who, or what the **** the Kardashians are wearing today.
There’s beauty in everything, but the media blinds.
I had lost my vision for a while.
I’m slowly recovering.
I used to think of material things.
Superficialities.
Now I think of how stunning the way the light reflects off of the brightly colored walls of my room.
I think of how sad it makes me to see trash littering my city’s roads.
I think of my friends on the other side of the world who are doing their own, normal, mundane, beautiful things the very moment I am laying my head down to rest.
I think of injustices being shoved into innocent faces.
I think of my future and what I plan to do about it.
but I think that little parts of me,
Still wish to be loved, no matter how cruel I know this world to be.
Oct 5, 2018
Oct 5, 2018 at 12:33 AM UTC
I don't care who THEY(generally speaking) are!
I don't care if THEY are scientists or trash collectors!
I don't care if THEY are lawyers, judges, politicians!
I don't care if THEY like, or dislike, the Kardashians!(or Miley Cyrus)
No one on this earth -
understands -
v
v
"CATS!"
copyright: richard riddle- 08-11-15
(revised: 07-31-16)
Aug 11, 2015
Aug 11, 2015 at 2:20 AM UTC
Alright, world. It's time to get down to business. It's time to start caring about things that matter again. So take your mind away from all the trivial, superficial things and thing about the important things that change the entire dynamic of global society. I had a class last semester about Marx, Nietzsche and Freud. Those men amaze me. There was a time where there were people like Karl Marx trying to change the world. Forget whether you agree or disagree with his opinions. Whether he was right or wrong, he was convicted. It was his true beliefs. If you don't understand what I'm trying to say, think of Adolf ****** Some people agreed with beliefs of ****** some people didn't. People to this day are still agreeing and disagreeing with the beliefs of ****** Forget about all that. Even he, someone who was considered an awful man, did something. He tried to change the world. Yes, maybe he ended up changing the world for the worse, but the point is that in HIS MIND, he thought he was changing it for good. And after the existance of these people, all that stuff just... stopped. Who do we hear of nowadays who's trying to change the world (regardless of the outcome)? NOBODY. And the people who are doing things to change the world, nobody gives a **** about because people are too entranced with the more important things like What Not to Wear, the Kardashians, Honey Boo-Boo, and people being famous cake-makers. How many great philosophers, poets, psychologists who really care about the public do we hear around in this era? None! Of the few people who do try to make a difference in the world, none of them get recognized. Well, that is besides those celebrities who ***** a school in Africa because it's a good photo opportunity. I want nothing more than to even do the tiniest thing in my life that will make even a slight impact on the world; write a book, publish a philosophical transcript, but I'm starting to feel like there isn't even a point in doing so anymore because despite my efforts, in this shallow society, nobody would even take a glance.
Jan 29, 2013
Jan 29, 2013 at 9:22 PM UTC
politics, teachers in school, parents all of it is bafflegab to me. I run my own life, don't need anybody to tell me who I should be. Lie's and conspiracies have corrupted this once great society into todays monotony. Bafflegab everywhere, propaganda in the air, what matters to others doesn't mean anything to me. Why do people watch that trash called the kardashians or justin bieber, third world countries are dying but we are to busy with our drama, have we truly lost our humanity?
May 5, 2015
May 5, 2015 at 5:17 PM UTC
There are 7 wonders in the world
but I only have 6.
Who? What? When? Where? How? Why?
Who took our generation downhill?
What happened to the will and grace of the human race?
Suddenly, no one cares about ****** anymore.
No one is surprised to hear a woman drowned her own son
like crime is as normal is the sun rising in the east
and the least we can do is pay a little more attention to the news and not the tweets
but, I guess that's just become a snooze button to us
Like the evil deeds, groups are causing is less important than a dress
or how a celebrity saves her family from the lips of the ocean, but all anyone cares about is her "Nip slip" through the process
How did the world get like this?
How is it that there's more fruit in shampoo than a poor man's place?
Why does everyone want a clean slate when no one has an eraser?
Yes, maybe you want to erase her or him
but you can't because they're on twitter
suddenly, it's bitter-sweet
and all you worry about is having them sub-tweet you..
Plus, how about the troops?
We think we wear combat boots because it's cute
and "being there for your best friends" and "Lending a hand"
but THEY are the ones lending us a hand
and being without their homes so we have ours
but no. Kardashians and Jenners are more important..
when did the world get like this?
I wonder.
May 8, 2015
May 8, 2015 at 4:26 PM UTC
If only we'd known
A dead child was what
The white people needed
To start to care and solve
The problems of the war-torn,
***** Third-World.
We could have drowned one
Years ago in a luxury
Bubble bath and saved all
The inconvenience of
Distracting us from
The Kardashians
And making us uncomfortable
And having to worry about
Whether they will
Take our jobs or
Become our neighbours
And then we would
Have to stumble over
The pronunciation of their
Very foreign names
And worry about their
Very foreign ways
And whether or not our
Train journeys to work
Would be targeted by ISIS,
Or, perhaps, our holiday
Flight to the Mediterranean,
With its simply darling little
Features that are just so
Intimate.
At least it would make a
Tragic story
To discuss over brunch
With the ladies of leisure
While they get off
On the intimate pleasure
Of donating old clothes
(Expensive ones mind you! -
The refugees won't know
They're born) to charity.
If only we'd known.
We'd have been able
To help ourselves sooner
Before it stopped being chic.
Nov 17, 2015
Nov 17, 2015 at 12:53 PM UTC