The thought that I might never know the feeling of being loved in that way makes me want to leave this skin behind.
It makes me want to crawl into the body of a more desirable creature just to know what it must be like.
At times, the feeling of wanting to give this love inside of me to someone becomes so overwhelming, I am left with nothing to do except let it spill from my arms into the floor around me.
For someone with such limited options, perhaps I shouldn’t be so picky.
Perhaps I should settle for a love I don’t deserve.
I am restless in the night as I caress my own body pretending they were the arms of someone else.
I am helpless in the evenings as I twirl in the kitchen around the ghost of a person who I might’ve loved in another world.
I am a loveless being with nothing but love to give, and nothing but these words to show for it.
Apr 16, 2022
Apr 16, 2022 at 2:45 AM UTC
I know now why time seems to be passing me by.
Why I look at the calendar in horror as I realize the date.
I live in my mind
and
In my mind I am home.
I am not here.
I am on a twisted 9 month vacation, but I can go home as soon as it’s over.
I can finally rest my bones in the place I always knew to be home.
But I can’t.
This is home now.
I am not here because I am still in the past.
I am still pretending to be the person I was last summer.
And that person is gone.
Just like my home and just like the time I have spent reminiscing about it.
It’s time to live.
Apr 13, 2022
Apr 13, 2022 at 12:15 AM UTC
I always believed that I was
too hard on you
Throwing the ice cold bucket of truth
Into your beautiful face
It pained me more than you know
To tell you things as they were
But it hurt a thousand times worse
To see you show them kindness
I heard conversations you never did
Words sharp as knives from those closest to you
I knew I was pushing you away
As I told you the truth
But to see you now,
Happy and alive without those
Sorry excuses for humans
, although I may not be there either,
Makes me happier than you’ll ever know
Jan 7, 2020
Jan 7, 2020 at 6:56 PM UTC
You probably think
I only keep you in the back of my mind.
There for those times when everyone has left
and I'm looking for some time to ****
during those restless nights.
But you'd never know
The pride I feel swell up inside my chest
when I think about just how much we've been through
despite the distance.
You somehow manage to show me the beauty
in the little things I do.
And for that, I'm grateful.
You've thanked me for my existence more times than I can count.
And no matter how many poems I write.
No matter how many books I read.
No matter how many languages I learn.
There aren't words to describe that cozy summery feeling
that flows over me when I realize that my existence
means something to you.
You've brought out the best in me.
You've given me a safe place where I can express my irrational
emotions.
Where I can make sense of this new world I'm being thrown into.
You are the safe closet I hide in to escape the realities I'm facing.
My only regret
is that I couldn't be that for you.
Dec 21, 2019
Dec 21, 2019 at 1:37 AM UTC
Now that you’re gone,
I realized something
When I found you,
You were conveniently in the place
That I wanted to call home.
But now that you’re gone
And you’re no longer in that place
Where I once found you
I realized
That it wasn’t the place that made me
Want to call it home.
It was you.
Oct 24, 2019
Oct 24, 2019 at 5:35 AM UTC
They say you can't fight fire with fire
but when the fire is the only thing
warming a cold heart,
is it okay that I don't mind the flames?
Oct 7, 2019
Oct 7, 2019 at 2:08 AM UTC
how can i heal in the same place i hurt
maybe a change in scenery
will allow old wounds the space to mend
space and time are seeming concepts
that my life revolves around.
so why should it make a difference?
it makes all the difference.
someone get me out of here.
Oct 7, 2019
Oct 7, 2019 at 1:53 AM UTC
I guess it could go either way, right?
I stand in the middle of two evils
they both lead to my demise,
but
i cant seem to see that
i always believed that i paved the roads i walked on.
must be why the only thing ahead of me
is the backroads.
it seems i've made it to an impasse
Oct 7, 2019
Oct 7, 2019 at 1:46 AM UTC
Why don't you care?
You can't see.
Can't breathe.
Can't live.
But you don't care.
and you don't want to care.
Your country is asking for someone
anyone
to please care.
that's the first step
and you've already given up.
You say we were brought up differently
"You guys just have that 'Can do' attitude."
"Our culture is just different in that way."
I'm sorry, but **** you.
The streets are horrendous
and I get pneumonia just thinking about your air quality.
"Oh someone will do it."
"Someone is on it."
"I'm sure there are institutes who take care of this kind of thing."
"All I can do is support the cause."
Who's they?
What people?
Nobody is doing anything and you know it.
You are turning a blind eye just like everyone else.
You are no different and you are no better.
Your generation is what ruined mine.
Now clean up your mess
And clean up your act.
Or we will make you pay.
Mar 6, 2019
Mar 6, 2019 at 8:22 PM UTC
you ask me why I look towards the sky.
I hope to see you there.
you are the scars in my sky.
The white slashes that decorate them.
These beautiful man made machines
they are what can take me to you.
that is why I look to the sky.
Mar 6, 2019
Mar 6, 2019 at 7:39 PM UTC