Kaffen er varm og duften er velkendt når den rammer mine sanser. Åbner op for den velkendte smag, som jeg snart smager. Når kaffen er varm, møder jeg måske lidt flere minder end hvis den var kold. For når den er kold, så er vi gået, og samtalen og tankestrømmen er som regel forbi.
Når kaffen er varm går samtalen mellem dig og mig, eller dig og hende eller ham på velsmurte skinner og solen skinner måske i øjeblikket, og glæden stråler ud af dine vintertrætte øjne, og jeg ser det. Vi smiler. Vi er glade. Måske endda lykkelige, lige der i øjeblikket. Enten med selvskab af dig, ellers sidder jeg alene med den varme kop mellem mine skrøbelige hænder, som er trætte efter dagens forhindringer, som jeg har måtte stå imod. Måske tænker jeg for meget.

Jeg svæver mellem mælkeskum og varme bønner, væk fra det der gemmer sig bag ruden, som dugger til af varmen fra min nu varme krop mod vinduskammen. Jeg lader dem strømme, tankerne, lader dem svæve som om de flygtede fra det kolde vejr mod varmere lande. Dagens, ugens eller månedens ophobninger af forvirrede, glade, vrede og småligegyldige tanker.
Det er små øjeblikke som denne hvor jeg ser at de travle øjeblikke er der for mange af. Fordi om lidt er kaffen kold, og snart kalder hverdagen igen. Tiden går, kaffen er kold, og snart er der kun kaffemærker af den tidligere varme kaffe tilbage.

******. No white guy can say that, right.
People who can truly call themselves ******* can. *****-***** ****, W.O.P.,
maybe they can say ******, okeh. But they say it mean,
knowaddamean.
What'sbout Jewboy?
Can the Kaffen kid say ******?
Sand-******, but not ***** ******. Hecan say ****, too. And *** and *****.

Oy vey, okeh. We can take it. We can take it all. Rules is rules.

That's right. Wanna fight? Wanna be my enemy?

--- Grandpa had a play date. ***- Where's the Fun?
These kids got no guns.
And no enemies. Except imaginary ones.


Greedy little master mind sprouting odd fruits from Pokémon.
Can we make this work? Perfect it, in effect?

Marbles, maybe we can teach that old game and go from there to the funnest parts of FTA... Findtheanswer, like God and Adam played. The rules are some same, bounds, fudges and such. Keepsies, ante-ups and such, too.
Risk is right if-I-can-tation.
Losses can be baked, clayballs,
while momma bakes our daily bread.
Poor kids can make marbles in the sun, since forever, I am sure. Rolly-polly patti and johnny cakes roll marbles into spoons,
Momma knew that stuff. She could shake butter into cream, singin' along Que sera, sera, whatever will be
will be,

but it won't be the death of me,
watch and see,
babu boy oh boy
---
We can play war until we die, but don't tell the children.
They are the price we are to pay. They must believe.

We swore allegiance for security. We thought it best
for the kids to lie.

You know?
I believe, you know. It's unbelieving I need help with.

Can't you see? We swore allegiance and taught it has become the  honor-us-course-us-po-deserve-us ritual. A rite we pass for the protection of the eagles gathered around the body.

We are proud of our children who die taking
the courses called for, we never ask why,
except when we cry. Silently, inside.

It's our role to remember the glory
of our children dying for the IDEA that lives
in the statue of Freedom
under which our laws allow
might is right, if God was ever on our side.

You know what I mean.
Say so. You know the lies are being told.

Stop believing that is okeh, eh?

---
Mussleman dominance meme manifests once more to battle the flood of knowing being re-leased or bought, outright, to aid the seekers seeking the meta game.

F.T.A, remember? Find The Answer. Same rules as Hide and Watch,
"All ye, all ye, outsiders hidden in our midst, in free."

"Send me your- poor, huddled masses",
remember being proud of that idea.
Poor thing, lady libertine, so tarnished now that not even Iaccoca's glory loan could gild the actions she sanctioned in the name of the republic for which she (a proxy mate, feminine aspect of God) stands. Sig-n-if-i-cious-ly.

Seig Freud, we say, with the statue of freedom watching over the legislative body, she stands
quite similar to Diana of the Ephesians,
in her role as mob solid-if-er, if I know my mythic truths been told.
---
Trink, trink, trinkits gits the good good luck,
light m'fire witcha spark and see
a light in the night when the noises pending terrors flee.

Rite, we passed those places ages ago, now we hear echoes, only we know them, for we have been taught,
what echoes ever are.
Our own terrors screaming back at us.

Alot of lies are taught wrong
and a sleeping giant in a child may dream
of other ways to see.
New windows on new word worlds expressed in
HD Quad-processed reality
simulations. You know,
child eyes see right through those.

Exactly that happened. Slowly at first.
Good is more difficult to believe
you are expert enough to try doing than is evil.
Read it again.
This couplet or line, as time will tell.

Don't ignore known knowns,
stand up under the weight of knowing good and knowing evil.
Be good.

We know from conception,
we think,
whatever it takes means
take what ever we think right,
pursue happenstances in the favor of my father's world,
provided for me, the kid.
\
The son, a first-man son,
some several thousand generations removed.
Lucky some body stored the good stuff in the mitochon'orhea, right.
We'd be powerless. O'rhea, double stufft, blessusall.

Otherwise lies are left for kids to learn,
but not to
be left true,
as when they first was told.

Our sibyl e-gran mals tol' em true,
as they knew what they passed through, to the moment, then...

Around the fire, dancing shadows, make them play.
All ye, all ye outs, in free!

See dancing shadows, en-joy my joy, be strong,

long strong, sing along, long, long song

and laugh until you die.
---
Some con-served ideas will land a man in a prison with no keys.

Imagine that. Take your time, it is no passing fancy. Be here,
with me, a while. Pleased to meet you I am, no comma needed.
Now, we may wait, whiling away a time or two is common, in mortal pauses. Are you dead or alive?

Is it dark or light? Do you see in color here, or in gray?

Who built your prison? I built mine. You'll love it, I imagine,

whenever forever flows past those old lies striving for redemption,
recycling-clingy static hairballs and ghost turds
touch, once more,
*** potentia amber atoms in cosmic chili for the soul
of the loaf-giver, warden of the feeding forces life lives
to give dead things. There's the rub.

Spark to fire? Watts to fuel the favor, Issac, can you lead us in a song? A con-serving song for when the cons a fided or feited,
defeat my sorrows and my shame,
let me see Christ take the blame.

Confidencein ignowanceus. Worsen dignitatus evawas.

Blow on it. Soft. The spark landed in that ghost **** you thought you swept away or ****** into a vortex of hoovering witnesses,
if you whew too strong, you blow yer own little light out, and have to wait for lighten-loadin' bearers
to take care from you.

That can take time, too.

It always takes a while to get deep enough to see the bottom.

Cicero, old friend...

ne vestigium quidem ullum est reliquum nobis dignitatis 

[not even a trace is left to us of our dignity]

From <https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dignitas(Romanconcept)>

See, from a single spark,
touching a volatile bit o' whatever,
you may see the root of the Roman canker sore
yomamma kistyawit.
And be on yo way,
satisfied minded there do seem to be a way, each day, just beyond the evil sufficiency we find soon after the morning's mercy's been renewed.

And may, if it may be,
ye see a rich man wit' a satisfied mind
and may that man be me in your mirror, as it were.

Carry on, as you were.
Or walk this way, a while,
mind the limp. I'll set the pace.
It ain't a race, y'lil'squirt.

Wait'll y'see.

Waiting is time's only chore this close to shore.

What manner of men are we, who could be our enemy?
What name makes me your enemy?

What peace can you imagine when no words carry hate?
Can you imagine evil peace?
Cromwell n'em said they could make peace wit' war.
They lied.
Their lies remain lies,
evil knowns
good to know, on the whole.

Knowing makes believing count for more than idle
oaths of loyalty to memes mad
from the first of forever to now.

now. stop. This is the bottom. I know the way from here.
Do you?
You can say so, but you never know,
if you never make the climb.

And that can take forever, I've been told.

*** spurgte om vi skulle drikke kaffe. bestilte kakao istedet. jeg drak min kaffe. som aftalt. vi snakkede som dengang. ingen hæmninger. hudløst ærlige - om alt andet end os.
*** sov med smykker på. iført sine læderbukser og en nedringet t-shirt. nattetimernes tomhed blev afbrudt af en snorken, som jeg besynderligt nok fandt tiltrækkende.
*** bad mig om at finde min gamle lighter frem. rive i tandhjulet i et forsøg på at skabe en gnist. en gammel flamme kunne opstå. med lidt held og den rette fremgangsmåde.
kaffen er skyld i, at jeg ikke er en del af hendes drømme. kakaoen er skyld i, at *** ikke er en del af min virkelighed.

jeg sidder og stirrer
ud i mørket
en kold september
nat
karl william synger
om at "vi ku' ha' gjort så meget"
og jeg ved ikke om det er vinden
eller tanken om de sørgerlige
rester af
dig og mig
der får tårer til at falde
som glas på mine elfenbenskinder
kaffen er blevet bitter og kold
ligesom det jeg føler indeni
men mine hænder klamrer
sig til koppen som om
den indeholder det
sidste af dig
jeg har aldrig fundet ud af hvorfor
jeg sidder der
nat efter nat
og stirrer ud i mørket
måske håber jeg bare at se dig
få bare et eneste glimt af dig
som et stjerneskud på himlen
i et milisekund
men der kommer aldrig nogen
eller noget
og endnu en lille del af mig dør
så jeg tænder en cigaret og lader
den brænde mellem mine læber
for godt nok vil du altid
være en del af mig
men du får ikke lov til at være
den der tager livet af mig

Jeg frygter fremtiden,
at fortidens spor, der er i dag er
altafgørende
alt vi gør er at kæmpe for at eksistere.
Smagen af verden ændrer sig,
og hvor skal jeg gå hen?
Weekendens distraktioner bliver en inhibitor
der holder fast i glasøjne og naivitet.
Jorden er sort og jeg ser mine organer blive
gennemboret
af snefnuggene, der falder.
Tankeløst.
I et splitsekund,
forstår jeg uvisheden, om måske aldrig at møde dig.
Mit hjerte falder ud, og lander i dine hænder.
Ud af min blodsprængte øjenkrog skimter jeg kaffen.
Jeg kan se mine lunger punktere
og skyerne kommer nærmere,
og jeg ser det falde, nattens blod
eller din sjæl?
og orkesterets toner spiller kærlighed under min hud,
men intet kan jeg mærke.
Jeg smadrer min hånd
Et antiklimaks af ferskenhud og fløjlstårer.
Når du siger mit navn vokser der universer  på min krop
"månen er død" flyder det ud af din mund og intet kan jeg stille op.
Man skulle have været barn af en anden tid.

engang var jeg sikker
på at det aldrig
ville være et problem
at drikke morgenkaffe
alene og det ville aldrig være
et problem at ryge dagens
første cigaret med vinduet
lukket mens storbyen
lever videre udenfor
men så forsvandt
du pludselig ud af
min hoveddør og for første
gang lukkede du døren bag dig
og jeg fandt ud af at det alligevel
regner på november-morgener
og ambulancerne suser stadigvæk
forbi mit vindue, den eneste forskel
er blot at der ikke er nogen
til at holde min hånd og det er
det der gør hele den forskel
som jeg troede var så ubetydelig
og jeg åbner stadig vinduet
inden dagens første cigaret, selv
i gennemskærende efterårs-
kulde fordi jeg ved at du synes
det er det rareste og jeg hælder ekstra
sukker i kaffen for at søde den
bitre smag af svigt og jeg ved
godt at det her efterspil er definitivt
men jeg har alligevel lagt ekstranøglen
til dig under måtten
hvis du en dag skulle finde på
at komme tilbage

jeg beder dig om
at skimte kaffen
og en brun sø tager form
i din øjenkrog -
du indrømmer
at det er nattens blod
eller din sjæl
i kondenseret skikkelse
jeg smiler marront
og sætter mit aftryk i ørkenen;
din sandpapirspande
jeg tager afsked
og ser dig kaste dig
med grøn længsel
ud i ensomheden

*** var ligesom hendes billeder. Underbukser og bare bryster som *** stod der i dørkammen. Ikke ude på noget udover at høre om jeg ville have mælk i kaffen. Bare der med lettere brun hud og få blå mærker. Og håret i en hårklemme så jeg kunne se hendes lige skuldre og lige kraveben der rakte ud fra hendes hals til arme. Klare, let puffede øjne og varme kinder af nattesøvn. Og blikket på mig.

Jeg tror ikke på kærlighed ved første blik. Men jeg tror på kærlighed. Og i det blik. Øjeblik. Blev jeg forelsket.

therefore ye sons of Jacob are not consumed.

From <https://biblehub.com/kjvs/malachi/3.htm>

What therefore do we claim to know, when I,
who took the text, out of context,
our text for this day between sleeps, out of the famous
tithing message, that merged with the fulfilled jubilee,

lest we forget, serving God is a business, eh, be busy
for the lord, right, be somewhere workin' for the Lord.

oh, the times we was skinned into, me and you, mortal
reader stock given freedom under a personal grace,
taken personally as true, I am in you and you in me,
mindwise, in the spirit sense, felt true, known safe bet.

True, true, word, say the little mind things,
choir of messages

serve, be used, become useful, function as intended, live
and learn uses for features included
with the bubble we live in or
as, skin-bubble, filled first sack  
pops from a forest of possible any body but yous
- the hunger game dance of the oocyte,
- one of the patch maturing each cycle,
- feel it, the tug, this is so big, this cycle,
- live and learn and share the knowing wiser
- than the children of this world, in the end
- when what we know is used to prove we knew,

watch, we, watch, we the sould-enduring coded sign-
always ready, takes a lickin', keeps on tickin'.

It's a TIMEX the working man's wrist watch, tickin'
take a look, why,
it is 11:36

May we depict this as a wave of compression
comprehension of wind in a fist, who wishes
to know
knows the price of the prize is the acceptance
of worth-ship, judged worth value on some scale
courtships on the grandest scale, balling with gods,

AppoloApollo and the gang from ele-useless, giggles, gads
& flies, so wise as we imagine flies being

swarm of us as flies
on the walls in the ****** temples,
making claims analogous to holy secret gnosishit

true wu wu wei past phoneme tagmeme detail umph
tried and true,

the joke, yoke, is on you, and in you, once the details
surface, and some good news, novelties, new things
to see and know, you know, coolshat
coming attractions,
call it what it is,
preview, taste and see, or is it, taste and know?

more the bitter or sweet color and smells, say
eat me, bees, say breathe, seem
me, seeing

systemic functional linguistics adapt to the hero
story as told, to children today,
it only happens to a few, but
if you learn to shoot, like Sgt. York, you shall, surely

buy the farm, the doentological ordered of my class,
warrior,
not servant; freebooter, taker of my share,
ancient precedent Abraham made holy, warriors
who share the battle,
take first share, before the priests of that order
take theirs.

Listen, this is the same story, as true from now
as then, eyes of flies are on the scene, first to begin
the corruption essential to the scene, naughty,
redeem the concept, naught is nada, zilch, goo'f'f'nuthi'n

naughty fruit, rotted, there is a scene like this
in the KJV, zoom, show me… boomsoft in the distance
beat of my heart, hum of the engin enginned and held
ensnared, hooked heartwise, under the aortic channel

feel the flow, rush of blood to feed a mind foaming
gnosis snot, stistical possibility
-soft land
some of us have been this far, and we came expecting
some new thing, while the reality surrounding us, a we
we are as readerwriterworderword, exactly
four ways to see what we mean from now on, awe is us,
this state, taste,
this is the promise, ah, Lou Reed, just laughed at me,

he say hey, Kaffen, you remember this trip?
it ended with hand to hand handgrenades, with Starsiak.

Living in my own peace of mind,
I can sing like Johnny Cash, and know it's mine

know this gravelly voice comes from pounding rocks
into scalpels for the surgeons who make life sacred.

Secret sorting rituals are with us as we breathe,
we can come to, awake, come and see, we breathe,
imaginary breaths, imagine those count,

weave in wind around a plaited strand of cloud,
weave spin spun spun spun runn rrrrun roar

ah, 2022, between Mira Mar and the Chocolate Mountain,
so, those are Apaches, adding to the myth of war,
Sony has a game nearing launch, The God of War,

Manichean at it's core, my bet, but for now, imagine

no? We do such constantly, we, the entertained, we
enter zones of release belief, enable unbelieving.

You participated in a group prayer,
perhaps at a funeral, but you prayed help me unbelieve

any of that ever hap-ends
and we remain, this is us, as a mind, enjoying unknown
knowns, truths veiled by Taliban-level boss-minion-slave
orders considered matters of faith, not fact,
if allah wished you to know you could have heard
the ANGEL - no vision, a word, a command
READ
thrice, read, - you, now, what do you
say,

hey, hey, hey, what
what do you say, read, or be literally powerless
to properly cast contextual spells… enthralling
coming attractions…