If I was a pen*
My point will be the world,
Then my ink will be hope,
And the paper is humanity.
So every time I touch humanity,
I give off hope through the world
Releasing it for human kind,
The world being a bridge for change,
Becoming a useful pen for living things.
With every mark humanity will be determined
With every touch the world becomes better.
And even though I’ll make a mess
And even though I’ll spill my ink
I can say I scattered hope
I can say I tried to change the world for the better
And that this mess, made hope sprung to everyone.
And as a ‘normal’ pen
I will write countless words until everything is gone
And You may say hope is gone,
But the hope I had inside is given to humanity
Filling the hearts and minds.
And this hope will form more pens
And this hope will inspire
And this hope will be a better being
And this hope will be our world.
But I’m not a pen
And I don’t need  to be a pen to give hope
And I don’t need a pen to change the world.
I’m going to be a human being
A human that will spark change
A human that will give hope
A human who will rise after the storm
A human who will see the sun, the rainbow after the rain.
I am a human
My mind will be the world,
Then actions will be hope,
And my heart will be humanity.
So every time I’ll do something
I’ll think about the world
And I’ll feel what everybody needs
And I’ll know what to do
I am a human and I’ll give hope




-jnldm

I'm a cloud of useless waste of particles.
I float freely, I fall slowly.
I'm a useless dust of chalk. Wasted.
What is my purpose?
After my knowledge?
After I have made my marks on the board?
What am I bound to do?
After I sit steady in the cold, dark place that I stain? That I ruin?

I'm a useless powdered material.
I stay stationary, I move slightly.
I'm a useless left over matter of chalk. Unimportant.
No appreciation for my knowledge.
No notice for my wisdom.
Is my purpose to be unseen?
Is my purpose to irritate eyes and wreck souls?

I'm a chalk dust in a dark, cold corner...
Soliloquy is my game.
What I play. every time. everyday
Intentionally left behind,
By my knowledge, my wisdom, my faith, my truth.
I'm now
A Nobody.

I vanish, and I flourish and I fly.
I'm a chalk dust with no purpose.
And so, the soul had fled the existing body.
And in the end, I see...
My useless soul, my life...
Under appreciated


** jnldm

I keep on crawling
Bashing, walking, disappearing
Reappearing in your nightmares
I have not done anything but you distance yourself
Back out, Abort, Fight back, and ****
Inevitable.
My poison is pain
My poison is harm
My poison is death
It will do us apart

My insides break
You stepped on me
Crushed my soul
Yet I armed myself
Of pride, strength and independence
I am broken,
Arms shattered
Heart battered
Poisoned by my own toxins,
I altered myself

I hide in the dark
To be unknown
Leave reality
And weave my thoughts into a house
Then you break it,
Breaking, into useless strings
Spinning into infinity
Breaking from reality
Settling for disparity
I crash, unbridled

I sit between the lines
Keeping myself
From the light
The harm of the its shine
Triggering, Stunning my arms
As I embark life;
Discovering,
Living,
Dying.
Learning that everything will end.

Recovering,  from the glass,
That demolished itself
Corrupted itself
And breaking into pieces
Stabbing me, bits by bits
Analyzing the blood
Flowing down my arms
Streaming down my cheeks
Setting up a castle
Lies and Lies and all those cries

I am mistaken
A behemoth,
Out of your fallen minds
Revealing darkness
Unveiling the pain
From life;
Tortured souls
Self harm
Suicidal tendencies
How we are today

The castle of fears and pains
Build, standing steadily
Yet at one angle
Breaking
Tears streamed
Will anyone see
Will anyone feel
Will anyone weave my house, my castle
Back to place
Let all the darkness disappear
And crush my pride then Call for;
H     E     L    P.



-jnldm

See that girl
She’s a try hard
She likes to play with her hair
She bites her nails off when she tries to talk to people
Such a disgusting and annoying one
She thinks that she’s amazing
But she’s no prima donna
She sings
She dances
She writes
But she *****
She’s not pretty
She’s not tall
She’s not skinny
Not at all.

You see me don’t you?
Your eyes are filled with hatred
I can feel them glaring at me
Trying to **** me with your stares
Trying hard not to tear me up
Pulling my hair to ease up the moment
I bit my nails off to **** the tension
I pretend that I am ok, that I am grand
I sing
I dance
I write
They’re my outlet for everything
Don’t take them away
But, I don’t care anymore
Not at all.

She irritates me
She’s numb
She does not feel how negative we are towards her
Or is she that dumb?
Drama Queen!
Always making a scene!
Attention seeker!
Someone give her a time out!
Enough with her antics already!
You’re just another girl bullying yourself
It’s not our fault
That you hate yourself
That you cut yourself
In fact we don’t give a **** about you
Not at all.

I’ll go away
I’ll vanish
I don’t want your attention
Your attention is focusing on me
The reason why you see everything
The reason why you hate me
You said enough
You said I’m bullying myself
It’s all my fault
I am my destroyer
I am my own demon
I am my ender
I am nothing
Did I care to live another day in this Earth?


Not at all.



-jnldm

The night’s coldness have hit me
Breeze full of memories
Of the distant past
Coming to freeze you from reality
And let the old times through
Realizations have cornered my mind
As the wind blew the pain away
Once again the clarity of life
Without the frosted eyes from the year’s pain
Shaved fear off my sleaves
And let the light decorate me
Ornaments hanging beautifully and free
Cakes delightfully plated
Holiday’s blend of happiness and comfort
You’re back again!

-jnldm