"itd" poems
if you ran away itd have to be digital and thats pathetic.
its just downright sad you have to eat bites of gigabytes to survive because you cant swallow meat, that to live unfettered youd have to string copper wires through your veins, but youve never been anything but capital p Pathetic so you think you can stand that idea.
after all, it was the unfeeling internet anonymous who taught you to breathe deeply when you were anxious, and how the messy act of human reproduction worked (imperfect and fleshy, you thought). they taught you words your living tongue refuses to pronounce. between chat programs and status updates you formed multimedia connections, held fast by streams of text and data, and even now they seem more real than anything reality has presented you.
in an era far away with a hint of nostalgia you freely immerse yourself in childhood where your friends homes are only a click away. you feed them dinner with a sense of purpose. Technology has made it possible
Mar 6, 2013
Mar 6, 2013 at 10:34 PM UTC
sometimes i cry
but other times i laugh
the laughs arent real
but a disguise
to hide the pain
oh the pain youve
doused me in
it stings
it burns
it bruises
it pulls the life from me
remember that little girl who was always smiling?
shes gone
with the smile fading
more and more each and everyday
people ask
"how could you live likes this?"
i dont answer
because itd be like her
suicide
ive been grieving now for three years
and still havent found
closure
closure is not
easy to find
closure is buried in a chest somewhere
somewhere i will never find it
i promised myself, my family, my friends
if i somehow found it i would
take it and use it for the good
so sometimes you just gotta live life
and cry, laugh, sing
do whatever you can to find this so called
"closure"
Dec 19, 2013
Dec 19, 2013 at 6:12 PM UTC
As i sit here sipping my ***** on ice, all i could think about is what ifs, what woulds and what id be like if something happened the way i pictured? I sit and have these fantasies that i know wouldnt happen buts its full of what ifs, what woulds and what itd be like if something happened the way i wanted it to go? Life would be so much easier, having these huge dreams when you know you cant make it to most of them with a negative mind set. What ifs, what woulds, what itd be like if something did go my way? The way i wanted it to go? Every single little step i take it feels like im being dragged behind.. With the devil sitting on my shoulders and heavy weight i carry around, a burden that cant get off my shoulder.. Guilt, regret, being hurt by loved ones.. But what if one day it was care free? Nothing to worry about nothing to think about? You just go on with your day with no worries.. What ifs, what woulds, what itd be like to have something go my way the very first time?
May 8, 2016
May 8, 2016 at 5:37 PM UTC
my female cicada
found way to lay eggs
inside of my nasal cavity
our larvae are
pupating
hatching free
screaming inside of my frontal lobe. maddening me.
and a swarm it swims out
every time that i sneeze
and i ask them to please **** me
with their disease
but they chew through my hyde
(and who knew that id
find the hard way these incestuous insects could tease
til they torture the swallowed man, hollowed inside,
empty,
wallowing,
died
(and now no mind to mind,
so i guess i forgive em;
their mess, as the walls of my mind are lined with em))
yes theyve blessed these
molested and
nested flesh pieces of me
and replaced em with feces and waste:
rest in peace.
guess a curse would be worse,
now i know that my family
makes our home in the earth,
and they take what they give;
they give Death to take birth
and take breath from each other to give to themselves,
and what else?
Fathers Brothers
and Sisters and Mothers
are Kissing cuz thats what lovers
do to lovers
before they enjoy their next meal made of ******
"Meat i would like you to meet Meat and Meat" cuz thats all that they are to eachother like i was to their second cousin and mother. and she was to me a sure way to become better father and son by means of becoming fully free of this Life, what a wife, giving me family at the same time as taking my life so i dont have to end it by sending a knife through my wrist or my neck, oh and lest i forget: well, i beckon to send you a message, my wife: "im so sorry that i wasnt there when our our kids started ripping and taring your body apart. Love i Swear if i couldve been there idve stopped em and started to chop em and never have stopped. but its over now. lover how lovely itd be if you were singing delicately next to me with your legs and then climbed back inside of my skull to lay eggs in my nasal cavity. the screaming and ravishing, pupating, oh its so maddening not be having these. hacking and wheezing and coughing and sneezing til my nose is bleeding and they can start feeding. i wanna feel feelings of them eating on my brainstem and the rest of my flesh and then hollowing out all of my bones and then make a home as they start to have larvae all of their own which then, they will then start to eat, from my head to my feet, and between, from my elbows and knees, im a death bed of meat which my family needs;
theres so many to feed cuz - theyduplicatein3's...
Jun 19, 2013
Jun 19, 2013 at 12:07 AM UTC
memory
and the city lights fading behind me
the wheels turning in the night
the tears called upon to save you have decayed
faded into the cake of makeup
stretched on your parody smile
put a candle on that babe and celebrate another year
twenty miles outa town
stopped my buick
'neith the highway sing
and in the cool desert moon
made love to another woman
just to have another falling star to chase
shes a little cracked but she can smile
yes she can
and that's a ray of pure sunshine to this broken heart
that's a glass of gladness in the chambers of sour
i owe a thousand apologies
but none of them east of the mississippi
so i head to sunny florida
spend all my time in the rain
writing letters home to the mountains of the moon
serenity is just another girl after all
isnt that what she would say
a fun pile of hot packed in skintight jeans
but just a girl
tried to find a narrow path in the thorns
attempted to get round the snags
but milkmaids and **** kings
are all too sure that id fail someday
and they wait with bated breath for me to be
on my knees
but im making a new lifetime outa the dust
im carving a new hope outa the curses laid on me
ill make it because im resolved like iron ink
but im rusting like rainwater
and there is nobody i can hope not to offend
i had thought to find your hand to hold
and standing here in the rain
wish itd work its way out
im so weary of the futile chase
but you left on a train headed north to go find my enemies
to deal out some measure of justice
im resolved like iron ink
rusting in the american sun
nobody's treasure
born to wait
come home someday
Sep 4, 2013
Sep 4, 2013 at 6:06 AM UTC
you and i should just
run away and
live in a castle
wed be like two fairy tail characters
with a happy ending
you could be a prince
and ill be your princess
(king and queen is for old people)
no onell know where we went
but theyd notice
our grand ouse
one the side of a hill
itd be on the beach so we could
look out our stained glass windows
the sunsets could be purple and green
the two of us could explore
new chambers every day
we wouldnt need servants
because wed be happy to help each other
unlike bickering couples
because wed have a castle
Jul 5, 2010
Jul 5, 2010 at 11:19 AM UTC
Itd be nice
To be a kid again
to not have to worry about anything
to have all the simpleness back
The inncoence
I miss being a ki
running on the playground
swinging on the swings
playing tag
Boys still had cooties
and the only things that could be broken were my crayons
Dec 27, 2012
Dec 27, 2012 at 2:08 AM UTC
I take a step closer
To the darkness of the night
Hoping id find what was mine
Then it slipped away into the ally
What fun itd be to go and find it
Slowly walking step by step
CRASH
Went my heart and down I went
I opened my eyes to see my love
only to stomp me into pieces
Why oh Why did you do this
I am broken and left with Ugly pieces
One by one they are glued together
Did you want me to look like a monster
...
Day after day I searched for my love
looking up and down
left and right
until one day they left one late night
BOOM
they went crashing on the floor with blood spewing
it spreads into the cracks and with an evil smile
There is your monster youd always wanted
Jan 27, 2015
Jan 27, 2015 at 10:25 PM UTC
The earths rays shine a line through your eyes and reflect through mine
How those eyes lock me in a bliss i cant miss
How those lips touch it ain't much but its enough to mend a crutch
Between you and i there isnt an amount of rhymes to express our lifetime
With your bony knees and mind at ease theres nothing more compatible than these
When i have a chair to sit and a mind well lit itd be a shame for us to split
When im your light to guide but its hard to stride without your heavy breathing by my side
For youre an oceans tide that opens wide
And im the moon that sings you the euphoric tune at noon
Nov 12, 2014
Nov 12, 2014 at 5:58 AM UTC
all the voices in my head
never shut up
they tell me I should be dead
i believe them, im ****** up
i watched my parents fight a lot as a kid
they got a divorce after i grew up
i thought itd break me but im glad they did.
i think i’ll always be depressed
its been years i felt like this
i smoke **** to give me happiness.
my brother tried to **** himself twice
I want to die too
but he survived so i guess so should i.
still every day i cry.
i sound like a loser
i look at old pictures of myself as a kid
i dont recognize her, i guess i did lose her.
not sure where to go from here
all my friends and i moved away
we dont talk anymore besides the occasional “hey”
no one knows me anymore
nothing in my current life is like what i knew before.
the place i live is not my home
the people i know are temporary fixes
to the empty holes that my emotions burn through my heart.
i wish i could bleed
but i dont want to get put on mental health leave
so my skins stays uncut and i stay silent.
all this pain i keep quiet.
i starve myself as an outlet
it gives me control over myself
since my emotions are reigned by hell.
Nov 4, 2022
Nov 4, 2022 at 9:10 PM UTC
I fell for you,
I fell for you hard
Maybe its the way you
held me
or maybe it was the way
you understood me
like no other did
The long summer nights
and how you kissed me
'till the morning light
Oh darling..
When you are not here
I cant seem to get you
out of my mind
I just miss you so
and the days I saw
you
I cherished until the day
I saw you again
The way you would
smoke your
cigarette
inhaling and exhaling
every breath
You were perfect in
my eyes
every one of your
flaws were nothing
but beauty
I never questioned
being with you
not once
not ever
To this day,
I get butterflies
as I think of you my
dear
you gave me a kiss before you
left but you never
said itd be the last
why did you have to go..
broke every promise made
when you said you'd stay
left me behind for me
to rot
A day doesn't go by
without missing you
when I think back
of that day,
I feel empty and
lost all over
again
I can still hear you whisper
'i love you'
and it breaks my heart every time ..
I visit you some days
but all im talking
to is a tombstone
with 'R.I.P Chris'
engraved in it
I need you here,
I need you now
Your touch
Your love
You..
Aug 11, 2013
Aug 11, 2013 at 9:31 PM UTC
If I could go back in time
Even perhaps, say 48hrs,
HELL! I'd take 24...
Itd be to do many things
But I'd make sure I told myself
To just ****
Nov 20, 2015
Nov 20, 2015 at 9:25 AM UTC
What did the fish say to the other fish?
Its really funny
He starts with
Ill drown you in dishwater
So your last desperate breath will wreak of soap and leftovers
Die a humiliating death you ****
**** you spaced out, that joke was funny, a shame you missed it
Anyway, think of good things.
You know hard it is to sleep when you dont think good things
That ****** guy, you should have punched his teeth down his throat
That one guy way back when
You dont forget, his name will come back
Wait...I think you were supposed to have written that down
Ask them to repeat it
Oh **** you just said that weird, did anyone catch it? Can they see you second guessing the it?
I can see you doing that, honestly
Seems like something you would do
It was really embarrassing, you wouldnt be wrong if you did it
I wonder if dirt can melt?
Maybe that was the wrong way to act that one time
You still hurt, why dont you try to fix it?
Realist is the word for you
What some would call negative is truth
**** anyone who says otherwise
The revolution is almost won on this side
This battle is almost over
How many peaches do you think itd take to fill a cash register
Youre lucky that stays in here
If anyone could hear it
Youd probably be labled a huge pervert and thrown in jail
Yeah its time to shut up, its getting too loud to hear anything else
Be presentable, try to be your age, youre hurting more now k?
Try not to focus on the negative, despite what truth it may hold
You should bite your fingers off
Because its the right thing to do
Make the loud thoughts stop
Can you stop? Thats the only thing you think when you see them
Theres other things to think about honestly
Habit has a line and youre crossing it
******* **** **** ******
God **** ****** ******* ****
Right now needs death, **** **** **** ****
That smell, what is that? Whose that coming from?
Fact, more or less, no thats your opinion, nah its fact
Voice it, go now, **** I sounded weird. ****
Want, need need need no, want
Dont let someone in here
Youre nothing though
Suffering is normal, thats just how you think
You dont deserve a brain
Them, then them, then them, then then, thZZZZ, but ifZZZZZAAAAAAAZZZZZZ
ONLY ONE WAY OUT
TTTTTTTTTZZZZZZZZZZZZZAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
YOU WILL WORSHIPTHEDEADZZZZZZZZZAAAAAAAATTTTTTT
...........................
...........................
...........................
...........................
...........................
...........................
Back, well, focused.
Stay away from the corners
Inside that round room
Too tired for fury
Or penance
Just hurt, begin loop
Mar 25, 2016
Mar 25, 2016 at 1:01 AM UTC
Never thought the day would come so soon
Where we'd say our goodbyes forever
But come the full phase of the moon
Ill ride over on a multicolor balloon
I will be the reflection in your eye
Help you laugh when you scream
and make you smile when you cry
Take a ride to your soul and make a stop at your thoughts
Feb 12, 2010
Feb 12, 2010 at 3:54 PM UTC
and i just wonder
what itd be like
to fall asleep
in your arms
night after night
our heartbeats in sync with one another
and your warm breath on the back of my neck
with the sounds of the night
singing softly to us
itd be pretty great,
wouldnt it?
Sep 15, 2013
Sep 15, 2013 at 10:51 PM UTC
im not quite sure where all the time went
but i still remember every word you said.
everything you ever expected from me,
every thought you ever had about me.
ive got your beliefs on my mind.
am i everything you wanted??
i thought i was safe inside your heart,
i thought itd be easier to see the light of day.
oh but was i wrong thinking youd be my savior.
i remember all you ever taught me
but ill never remember the things you shouted at me.
i got really good at repression,
because all you ever preached was nothing i could believe.
i told myself a million times i wouldnt go
round and round again.
but i never stopped spinning, and i never got dizzy.
I framed myself for every wrong,
you never did any bad, and i never saw.
it was okay, all those words you said,
you burned into my mind, the worthlessness i held.
i came this far thinking i was less than enough,
i came into adulthood knowing my worth.
because you helped me figure out exactly how to fail.
i never had a life, you never gave me what i needed to succeed.
i never had what gave me the will to power on.
how dare i believe i had it good.
May 6, 2016
May 6, 2016 at 8:53 PM UTC
and i just wonder
what itd be like
if we went for coffee at 2am
on a rainy, tuesday morning
would you tell me about your day
your thoughts
your feelings
or would we sit
in blissful silence
until the sun started to rise
and when our last sip was gone
would we part ways
and leave the other wondering
"is that love"
Aug 28, 2013
Aug 28, 2013 at 11:36 PM UTC
Laying on the floor
Wanting this no more but thankful for the peace that I find when I lay
Day after day wanting a way to get where I got to get some day
Been waiting a few years an dodged a few fears but that's nothing I got to say
We wished itd be hours instead smell the flowers cause love an success ain't gone come when we say
D.J. Turner
Jan 5, 2015
Jan 5, 2015 at 1:27 PM UTC
You can be a thousand miles away
Be right next to me
But I still will feel alone
Wishing I could breathe
You boy have left me breathless
You've made my legs give way
You havent even left me yet
but i still want you to stay
I dont care how hard itd be
or how far things may become
I just want to be your girl
baby let me have your love
Feb 16, 2012
Feb 16, 2012 at 12:25 AM UTC
everytime i close my eyes i see your face,
i guess that means what i felt was true
if only you knew what you really meant to me
you would still be here and itd be proof it was meant to be .
maybe if only the truth was spoken without the lies
neither of us wouldve sat so many nights and cried .
far as i know now my life has ended ,the once special one for me
has left.
now i have to go
,drawing blood or a rope or poison
isnt the way i choose ,
for im all ready dieing slowly each night that i cant say i love you
knowing you cant return those words
please hurry and tell me good-bye
and remember im the one that went through so much
pain and shed enough tears
for the both of us
please hurry and tell me good-bye
i have to go before i breakdown and cant pretend to the world
.
please hurry and tell me good-bye
--please dont shed another tear,but smile because
you know im resting.
Apr 13, 2010
Apr 13, 2010 at 7:57 AM UTC
We chose to act this way.
like children playing a game or
like two lovers who cant be.
we chose to ignore each other
and pretend to not know
each others secrets.
why did i let you in?
Itd be so much easier
for the both of us if
i were dead.
Aug 17, 2013
Aug 17, 2013 at 11:12 PM UTC
Ok so i need inspiration for new music, so im going to ask for all to comment shirt lines or short poems for me asi sputter my own. Thank you.
Four three two,
Were all waiting on you.
I pull up in my pickup,
And when i wouldnt tell you were,
And i got that gorgeous stare,
I knew itd be a great night
Causewere here to love not fight.
And its like one two three
You starin at me,
Three four five
Nothing changing our mind
Just you and me, and the world to see
This could be, the perfect story.
Feb 4, 2015
Feb 4, 2015 at 8:43 AM UTC
there's too many of them
why do I have to be here
there's no space for me to move
they're all watching me
look away please
itd be weird if I started biting my pen
in front of them
I need to do something
I need to calm down
what can I do?
Dec 17, 2016
Dec 17, 2016 at 4:24 PM UTC
hey pretty lady
whats your name
I was wondering if you had a dollar
or maybe some spare time to change
how your eyes might view me
i was hoping id be more to you
than a McDonald nine ty nine cent berry burst smoothie
i swear it wont take long
i have all the time in the world for you
itll only take two seconds for me to say i do
ima charmer and a gift
high price wont even cover it
think of me as your lords sacred word and covet it
if you were bread id be butter *****
im not rich and neither is my mouth
thats why its ***** as a *** ina ditch
i could take you take a dance but itd be like hitch
hey pretty lady
whats your name
I was wondering if you had a dollar
or maybe some spare time to change
how your eyes might view me
i was hoping id be more to you
than a busted old shoe
walk around in me when you going through ****
step on my soul just so you wont have to feel it
i thought i was looking at b e a uty
but who'd a guess you were only worth your *****
go take a hike, jump off a bridge
if your cutting across the street
might as well head south
hey pretty lady
whats your name
I was wondering if you had a dollar
or maybe some spare time to change
how your eyes might view me
Dec 2, 2014
Dec 2, 2014 at 6:09 PM UTC
Comfort is something regularly
Found
But eyes like yours
And someone like you
Just isn't
So when you combine those three things
Perfection is created
You always said if you could choose
Itd be me without question
Fate played a cruel card
Some things are just never meant to be
I just wish it wasn't you and me
Sep 14, 2014
Sep 14, 2014 at 5:34 PM UTC