I am here again,
at the cut end of the rope
lost myself
so i started going down down down
found myself where I was
few months ago
how do I cope?
forgot where i go again
i don't want to fall
fall deeper into this depression.
Dec 4, 2014
Dec 4, 2014 at 9:34 PM UTC
I'm back,
aren't you glad to see me
write again
you know what this means
don't act silly
you know i am sad again
so here i am
have a cheer
tell me your glad i'm here.
Dec 4, 2014
Dec 4, 2014 at 9:29 PM UTC
You took me by surprise
when you told me you loved me
It was dawn
and my eyes were heavy
your arms wrapped around me
and your soft eyes carelessly staring
into mine
You brought me closer and with
the tips of your fingers you
moved the stranded hairs away
from my face
you kissed my loose lips
and with soft whispers
you said
"i love you now , and ill love you tomorrow
and ill remind when you need
reassurance that ill never leave you
alone not ever my dear I promise you that"
as the sun arised and i brushed
the sleep from my eyes
you looked at me
and smiled.
Nov 2, 2013
Nov 2, 2013 at 9:53 PM UTC
I don't think I am sad , nor mad , not even a bit happy.
I'm not quite sure why people do the things they do.
and I'm not sure why people love , or even know what love is. As I've sat here and thinking I knew everything about love and people , I sit here with a pit in my stomach. I feel like crying but I don't know what for. You say you love me , but I'm not sure when you do. Can you be with someone who is unsure about everything? who they are and life in general? Did I make a mistake giving my fragile heart to a boy I am unsure of. I want to fall asleep and live in the dreams where life is how id like it to be, where I was sure of everything, where I knew I loved you and you loved me, where I knew myself .
Nov 1, 2013
Nov 1, 2013 at 8:47 PM UTC
If you knew me ,
you'd know I don't like to eat
because ill throw it all up anyways.
If you knew me,
you'd know that I don't trust
easily because i gave my heart
to a boy who just wanted my
body.
If you knew me,
you'd know I think about
dying often because I constantly
feel drained and worthless
just some skin a bones.
If you knew me,
you'd know I love you
with every inch of me that's left
but I don't want to because you
might hurt me.
You don't know me,
so why would you take a bullet
for me , for someone you do not
know. For someone you think
you might love.. for someone you
promised forever
knowing promises are meant
to be broken and that is why
they are made.
Oct 27, 2013
Oct 27, 2013 at 10:59 PM UTC
Going out is always so fun
especially with friends
close friends or strangers
good vibes and good drinks
we'll get drunk
get drunk and watch the stars
and we'll lie in the middle of the
street as you think
the person you're with is your
best friend for the moment
and life is good
life is good for the moment
until take 1 .. 2 ... 3 more shots
and you swear you are fine
because you're still laughing and
nothing seems to be getting in
the way
except you take the 4 shot and
you see him..
the one that got away
the ex- lover that is happy
with someone else
and you start to feel empty
and your smile turns a bit
crooked and your face is emotionless
and your surroundings turn into
oceans of tears
you're not quite sure why
you are crying it why
you even feel this
way ..
you just know he doesn't love
you and you are not his
and he isn't drowning in
tears for you
he's fine , he's happy
perfectly okay
without you.
Oct 27, 2013
Oct 27, 2013 at 9:32 PM UTC
I never met a more
beautiful boy with the
purest heart and the purest
soul .
Even on your worst days
the crooked smile upon your
face made you beautiful
and I could never help but to
gaze at what I got to call
mine.
My veins were your map
leading to my heart
taking in every touch
as your fingers ran up and
down my spine
We never said the three
words most lovers would
say to each other ,
but we didn't have to
we were different
I knew you loved me
from the expression
of your face and the
look in your eyes and
the way your hands
explored my careless
body
I knew every morning
you'd be there by my side
and I knew you'd never leave
purposely because you loved me
..
I thought I knew
until the morning I awoke
from making love with you
the night before , waking up
to an empty bed with a letter
placed on the pillow beside me
that said
"I wish I could've made you
happy and I wish I could've
made you love me and I wish,
I wish .. your next lover could.
I love you forever goodbye"
I thought you knew ..
I should have told you..
I would've ..
Sep 30, 2013
Sep 30, 2013 at 1:49 AM UTC
I'm not so afraid to lose
you anymore
and I am not quite sure why
that may be
perhaps its from the constant
leaving of the people I love
most
or maybe I no longer love
you as i did before
and that makes me afraid
because I do not understand
how you could love someone
so unbearably
then not at all
You use to make me feel
full of butterflies and pure love
now you make me feel
dull and
empty
I could feel the distance even
when your arms are wrapped around
me tight at night
As I lie here thinking of all the reasons
why i may not love you any longer
I cannot seem to come across
one because sometimes you could
love someone so unbearably
and then not at all
being with you has made me
understand that is true
When you awake
you'll be left with an empty
side of the bed we once
made love in
and a note I left that says:
"My dear, understand this was best
for you and I. I cannot bare the feeling
of saying goodbye to your face
because this goodbye is not
good at all and so I had to leave.
I took something from you awhile ago
I've returned it to the place I found it
now you can find someone new to
hold your heart , for mine will always
be yours."
Sep 21, 2013
Sep 21, 2013 at 11:59 PM UTC
When you are alone at
night
lying on your back with
your mind full of endless
thoughts of ex-lovers and old
friends, people you've lost and those
you regret losing
as youre lying on your back
staring at the empty ceiling with
these endless thoughts over
flowing through your mind you
come to realize the memories
of these people are more than just
memories
watery eyed
you begin to miss them
more than ever and the memories
with them are played on repeat
like a favorite song
You turn over to your side,
crying, bringing your blanket up
to cry into and you begin to tell
yourself "why, how could this happen?they were everything to me now I have nothing.. "
Your words go into circles and the pain
grows greater
pulling the pillow close to your face
hovering yourself so no one can hear you
scream "why!"
crying to the point of hyperventilation
its late and you have no one to call
you've never felt so empty
your eyes are heavy and your
voice starts to whisper "why... why.."
blinking slowly, your eyes begin
to slowly close
with the last thoughts in your head
wondering if thing will get better
hoping the memories of these
ex-lovers and old friends will start
to fade and leave your mind
to rest for the night
just for
the
night
Sep 14, 2013
Sep 14, 2013 at 12:51 AM UTC
When I cannot sleep at night
I stare at the ceiling above me
thinking of all the things we would
be doing if you were lying right next
to me
When I cannot sleep at night
I lie on my side
staring at the empty space next to
me wondering why I have a bed for two
if you are not here sharing it
with me
When I cannot sleep at night
endless thoughts of you
float inside my mind
thinking of when I will see
you next
As I close my eyes and dream
I dream of you
us
lying together in this bed for two
with your arms wrapped around me
as i whisper "never let me go.."
and as you pull me closer and you tell me
"i am here , i am here now , i am here forever"
Sep 6, 2013
Sep 6, 2013 at 12:00 AM UTC