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And it was at that age...Poetry arrived
in search of me. I don't know, I don't know where
it came from, from winter or a river.
I don't know how or when,
no, they were not voices, they were not
words, nor silence,
but from a street I was summoned,
from the branches of night,
abruptly from the others,
among violent fires
or returning alone,
there I was without a face
and it touched me.

I did not know what to say, my mouth
had no way
with names
my eyes were blind,
and something started in my soul,
fever or forgotten wings,
and I made my own way,
deciphering
that fire
and I wrote the first faint line,
faint, without substance, pure
nonsense,
pure wisdom
of someone who knows nothing,
and suddenly I saw
the heavens
unfastened
and open,
planets,
palpitating planations,
shadow perforated,
riddled
with arrows, fire and flowers,
the winding night, the universe.

And I, infinitesmal being,
drunk with the great starry
void,
likeness, image of
mystery,
I felt myself a pure part
of the abyss,
I wheeled with the stars,
my heart broke free on the open sky.
i want to go to the hospital
i miss the pale sterility;
human care on command

i want to stop being illogical
i miss childlike passivity;
you just don't understand

my existence is infinitesmal
i'm a waste of human life
but i want you to stay with me
oh, please, at least for the night

help me forget about this would-be
i refuse to meet him in montauk
or anywhere, for that matter

the memory of him hurts me
nothing he said, did, or could ****
made me feel like i was better

my existence is infinitesmal
i'm a waste of human life
but i want you to stay with me
oh, please, at least for the night

forget about the women
that i say that i am really into
i could change my sexuality

you don't even have to listen
to me, that's too much to put you through
i lack the correct mentality

my existence is infinitesmal
i'm a waste of human life
but i want you to stay with me
oh, please, at least for the night
Raymond Johnson Apr 2013
I am.
I am fish and brick and sun and moon and sky and earth and river and forest and thunder and storm and silence.
I am light and dark and blood and sand and sinew and mud and bone and fear and loathing.
I am ambition and broken trust and betrayal and broken promises.
I am triumph and failure and love and loss.
I am the summer breeze and the arctic blizzard, I am the waves crashing upon the shore and the sunlight warming the lizards on the rocks.
I am the stars that shine in the night sky and the nebulae being born past the purview of your eyes.
I am the vast nothingness of space and the infinitesmal denseness of singularity.
I am the space between heartbeats and the silence between words.
I am the oneness of all things, the internal nirvana, the consciousness of the universe and its fleshy manifestation.
I am good.
I am evil.
I am god.
I am me.
I am you.
I am we.
I am.

— The End —