I pity those humans,
Who wish to find a soul
As rare as their own.

I pity those humans
Who rely solely on
Another's aplomb.

How could one
Become so callous
And indulgent,
An idolisation
Of the self,
Which does little to remain?

Their impressions are cogent;
Yet they lack the resolution
To form vessels
Of their own.

But as the pale moon
Floods my flesh,
Such pity recedes.

I am left with an
Overwhelming loneliness;
A sure addiction to
My own companionship.

Did I forge an entity
Never to be?

I paint on my face a smile with gaunt eyes
let the thick black paint run as I then cry,
powerless, hopeful, juvenile and woeful
mouthing lyrics full of idolisation and little wonder

It wasn't what I'd confessed
intoxicated with *****, both cursed yet blessed
a Pariah of the teen age, from twisted adolescence reborn
weeping as pride lies at my feet soiled and torn

cross-dressing to impress the mirrors
using the inner freak to abstain my filthy measures
verging upon the cusp of a downward abyss
of severe mental health and nothingness

through smoke my vision's blurred
self respect depreciated and curdled
killing the strength that carried me through
looking at my reflection and thinking oh

you lil' wonder -
you lil' wonder, you

Sunday hung-over mornings and golden glares
avoiding the dumb-hound dogs and their disapproving stares,
a bedside table lined with more coke than wood
a night-time of regrets, of differences of whether you would or should -

beware the dumb-hound dawgs
chewing upon fingernails rotten and curled
exhaling noxious fumes and Badrock
making everything see sense in a senseless world

they stole your pitiful cranium and filled it full of idolisation
jackhammering from high to low, like station to ******* station -
yes it was good, full of *** and blissful ignorance
but the harsh light of day brings addictions ruthless persistence

not in the full throes of its torrid grasp
yet you look at the half empty packets and ask
should you carry on clean even though it stings
or should you strangle your strength and clip it's wings?

For drugs don't love you, it's a one way relationship that spits
they'll leave you emaciated, broken, just like your mind that splits and fits -

those pesky dumb-hound dogs you loved oh so much last night

in a few broken years time you'll wish you'd never ever set sight.