I don't really know how to write and you know that. I know I am that ungrateful ****** ******* ******* ***** *** **** ******* horsefucker POS, but I want you to know that I haven't for a moment stopped loving you and I know you hate me and never want to hear from me again, but this feels necessary. I never meant I don't care... Your words no matter what you said was important to me they all stuck and mattered to me. At first I couldn't handle anything I relapsed and broke our promise. It wasn't until a week or two ago when I finally realized you are just doing what is better for you and that is all that is important. I think about you constantly but I have moved on. I got a girlfriend and this isn't some girl that ignores me or treats me like trash. She's amazing she listens and cares and talks to me and loves being around me...she's really you but here in VA. I also got a lift kit and bigger tires for my jeep. My dog was acting weird so I took him to the vet and his tumor is back but it's small so it's getting taken out. I have an idea of what I'm going to do with my life now...I am joining the national guard next year doing basic in the summer and then either going to vmi if we can afford it or I'm going strait into the service. I'm basically rambling now and I know this is a poetry site but poetry is just a form of expression and this is my way of expressing everything I've had to hide from everyone. I'm sad, happy, depressed, energetic, suicidal, and optimistic all at the same time it's great and terrible and at times I don't know what I like better but I know one thing and that is I hope you have an amazing rest of your life and live it to the fullest you're an amazing person and you will do amazing things in your life time. Never give up. Never let others dictate your life, there is only one person you are obligated to listen to and that is yourself so please never let yourself take yourself down because if you're gone all the stars are going to shine a bit less and all the beautiful things in the world won't be worth looking at because you aren't there to see them. I'm sorry for me. Enjoy the presents.