"horner" poems
lil jack horner sat with a *****
in fantasy islands delight
pulled out his **** wanked in a sock,
then it was time for good night
Mar 4, 2010
Mar 4, 2010 at 9:55 AM UTC
Mama's got a Squeeze Box
every night after dinner
mama goes into the parlor
she opens up her case
and pulls out her Horner
she taps her toes
and pulls and pushes
in and out the air moves
as she sits there in the corner
the tunes are reminiscent
of the times gone past
all that's missing is the oompah
all night long and daddy can't sleep
German and Austrian
no yodeling is heard
daddy's wasting his time
trying to count the sheep
cause mama won't stop
the music's in her blood
she like her squeezebox
poor daddy doesn't so much
Gomer LePoet ...
Jun 24, 2013
Jun 24, 2013 at 3:54 PM UTC
dconors love know sweet like time day want eyes hands kiss just deep tears long left heart slowly night look lips hair horner ol air
Jun 28, 2010
Jun 28, 2010 at 11:11 AM UTC
(I'm sorry)
Jack and Jill went up the hill, to fetch a pail of beer
jill got drunk and ran off with the closest guy near
jack got mad, grabbed a gun, and headed toward the door
caught that **** at the car and killed that little *****
==========================
hickory dickory dock
I'm in a race against the clock
my life's no fun
i'm on the run
hickory dickory dock
==========================
little jack Horner sat in the corner
eating his Christmas pie
"is this all I get"? "this pie tastes like ****
and he wished his mom and dad would die
==========================
rainbows end
I have been to rainbows end
that's where I met a little friend
now my story can be told
a leprechaun stole my *** of gold
==========================
sailor's delight
he sat sail on wavy seas
without a worry, red skies at night
there was more than just a breeze
and no other vessels were in sight
blown out to sea, he grabbed his radio
his mayday was answered with words to confuse
there's a hurricane on its way you know
didnt you even watch the news?
his trip went from bad to worse
he broke the hull and cracked his mast
as he sank, he spit and cursed
sailors delight my ***
Dec 6, 2014
Dec 6, 2014 at 4:59 PM UTC
she cried!
he said, come
to bed she denies
the warmth he radiates
because in the corner
of her own little
horner, she's
trying
to create her own fantasy
one he possibly can't see
where every word said
creates an illusion
inside a head that
picks at a brain
that should have been silent
just what are these words about?
as she twists and turns she shouts
in front of a blank mirror where
no reflection has ever been seen
she only hears one voice and
how it could have been
it makes no sense
it seems
bottom
to top
her
words
sc re am
Sep 4, 2014
Sep 4, 2014 at 7:21 AM UTC
lil jack horner, sat in the corner
nursing his aching back
stuck his fat thumb, right up his ***
and miss muffet gave him a wack
Mar 11, 2010
Mar 11, 2010 at 12:47 PM UTC
Tom Thumb got caught peeping
Now his life is on the run
Little Bo Peep lost her sheep
On a gambling junket she was on
Little Miss Muffet is having to tuff it
Out these days in jail
Selling ecstasy to undercover police
And now can't pay her bail
Little Jack Horner took him a corner
Of the Mafia drug trade
Once you are hooked on the **** that he cooks
There's no way of escape
You think that's bad you ain't seen nothing yet
That even comes this close
Since Mother Goose started hitting the juice
And ended up down on skid row
Humpty Dumpty's more than broke
But not from any fall
He couldn't pay his ******
And his legs were first to go
Baa Baa Black Sheep
Where forced to sell their wool
To pay for all the damages
While they were in school
Jack pushed Jill down the hill
When he caught her cheating with Little Boy Blue
Now he's paying her doctor bills
Which has left Jack blue too
You think that's bad you ain't seen nothing yet
That even comes this close
Since Mother Goose started hitting the juice
And ended up down on skid row
Apr 1, 2016
Apr 1, 2016 at 8:35 AM UTC
.
Now, lil' Jack Horner
go sit in yer corner-
the anger in here's growin' fat.
You need not fight me
to help to drown misery-
I'm always willing to drink to that!.
Feb 16, 2010
Feb 16, 2010 at 10:30 AM UTC
little jack horner
sat in the corner
sell knocked off watches
put in his thumb
pulled out a rolex
then told you why you should wear it
these days with jack anything goes
is the same jack
that in winter bites at my toes.
Oct 29, 2012
Oct 29, 2012 at 6:00 PM UTC
Nursery Rhymes re-write
Mary ,Mary how does your garden grow?
It doesn’t I have slugs and snails
Which is a bit of a blow
Leaving their horrible sticky trails.
Humpty, Dumpty why sit on a wall
When there are chairs to park your ***
Just because you had a fall
And you landed on your massive tum.
Four and twenty blackbirds baked in a pie
Well actually I think it was too many.
There are starving people out there you know
Buy something better with your gold penny.
Little Jack Horner sat in a corner
Eating his big plum pie.
Stuck in his thumb,
Well that was wrong
Why be so dumb
And why burst into song.
Just eat it, do not brag about it
Sticking in your thumb, dear me.
How strange nowadays to sit
In a corner, how rude is he?
Feb 20, 2014
Feb 20, 2014 at 3:06 PM UTC
Little Jack Horner
On the street corner
His eyes are empty and gray
He hates to bother
but could you spare a dollar?
Everyone has debts that need paid
Feb 10, 2012
Feb 10, 2012 at 10:30 PM UTC
lil jack horner sat in a corner
mulling a miserable time
pulled out a pen, that was it then
off-loaded his passion thro rhyme
Mar 4, 2010
Mar 4, 2010 at 8:50 AM UTC
little jack horner sat in corner on a pedal bin
bailiffs took his furniture when he let them in
they took everything his tele and the phone
left him with a pedal bin sat there all alone
he walked down to the shops feeling rather numb
bought himself a steak pie in it was a plum
jack was now depressed he began to cry
who on earth had put plum in jacks favorite pie
Apr 4, 2014
Apr 4, 2014 at 12:38 PM UTC
Ol' Jack Horner
Sat in a corner
Eating his curds and whey
Along came a spider
That sat down beside him
Jack slapped that spider dead
Mixed him in with his curds and whey
And enjoyed the extra protein
"MMMMMmmmmmmm" said Jack
"Deeee-licious"!
Apr 12, 2016
Apr 12, 2016 at 2:47 PM UTC
Strive to Listen. Thus convert what we hear
If Articles alone were your Sharp Cause
Even I, sore as a Horner's Thumb fear
What sordid News would take my Heart to pause
May be just as well; Though tempted to peek
Ask my Frivolities from your State feed
Such Real Illusion; Of Poisoned Scents reek
Take your Summed Profile more than I would need
And as I have told - at least by Bob's Bay
Ask once more the Whitened Baby preserve
For his Dark Water; Un-Succumb the Day
And wipe his Flannel he so much deserve.
Such is Behaviour. Balanced by Degree
The same which I bind the Demon in me.
Mar 16, 2013
Mar 16, 2013 at 10:50 AM UTC
Mary had a little lamb
it was a Caesarean delivery,
its conception was even stranger
in a barn under stars up against a manger.
On pudding lane with a pocket full of Posies
little Jack Horner
was last seen on a corner,
he slipped into whispers
and pulled out a plum,
Rumplestiltskin did cartwheels
as he strangled Tom Thumb.
Little Red Riding
when lulled by the wolf
lowered her hood and twinkled her eye,
her ginger bread biscuit crumbled to dust
and all the Kings men could ne’er reason why.
So fairy tale this and fairy tale that
trick all the rabbits you pull from your hat
for all of the things that remain unexplained
make up a story
and give it a name.
https://wolfgarwords.com/about/
Jul 15, 2018
Jul 15, 2018 at 3:42 AM UTC
I wish you understood how cool I can be
When I'm not hiding my eyes from what I perceive
To be the sun shining from yours
I wish you could see the nonchalant posts
I write when I'm hoping you're there with the ghosts
It's me who is the one so out of doors
Because I'm now tapping at the windows
Like the Dickensian kid I'm not
And that is how my sin flows
From wounds that cannot clot
Stem, stem, but I'm a social scientist
And not enough to be of interest
Of keeping myself to myself:
I need you to look up to my shelf.
I wish you understood how wanted I am
When I am chasing after the success-bound tram
Not the tail of your shooting star
I wish you could see how I'm queen of the sidewalk
The subject of everyone's gaze and idle talk
When my eyes aren't burning the West, so far
Because I'm now singing on street corners
Like the desperate artist I'm not
I wish my luck was like Jack Horner's
Would the Plum Land please be my lot?
Wait, wait, but I know I'm not life's patient
And too much to match your gradient
To be keeping myself to myself:
I need you to look up to my shelf.
I'm not falling off, but I could
I could call it off, but I would
Rather win please, even though
I concede I am losing,
And it's highly confusing
The way I go on with the show.
'Cos I'm now writing stupid letters
Like the complaining tenant I'm not
Counting you... the highest of my betters
And believe me there aren't a lot
Stop, stop, but maybe I'll write something good
And sufficient to get a Laureatehood
'Cos I'm not keeping myself to myself:
I need you to look up to my shelf.
Oct 13, 2022
Oct 13, 2022 at 7:44 PM UTC
My brother John aka Gonzo as he's known has been unfairly thrown of this site for no reason at all.
He may not be the most popular writer here be still it's not fare to just void out his account cause someone dislikes him.
Its called freedom of speech.
Im guessing in writtingthis im setting myself up as well.
Well how isit right to not even worn a person a finewriter in Jack Horner is also being treated in this same manner.
They have now lost work I belive they should both be allowed to both at least have there work back its one thing to not like someone but this is just wrong.
If this is allowed than what next do youbelive just cause someone doesnt agree with you they should be thrown off?
My brother is many things including a first rate joker but
honestly he's been deeply hury by this and thissite not even responding back shows how childish and cruel they truley are.
Please write the site and tell them to let Jack and John return.
Cause if we let this slide than who's next?
Its wrong plain and simple and same on the site for taking it this far
you could at least treat then with commomn respect.
Instead of just erasing there work like they dont even matter.
Oct 27, 2010
Oct 27, 2010 at 12:17 PM UTC
Little Jack Horner said
To hell with this corner
And had a stroll outside
He saw his neighbor Humpty
And climbed up the wall
Not to say hi, but create a fall
Humpty said what's up guy
Horner said I'm sick of pie
Humpty saw the look in Horners eye
Oh my, oh my, please Jack I am no pie
With one push during Humptys babble
Off of the wall,
Now Jacks eggs are scrambled.
Oct 30, 2016
Oct 30, 2016 at 10:48 AM UTC
Hansel and Gretel were so named to make them
the laughing stock of the hood. They had a crack head mom
and a dad who disappeared before they were born.
Often they had to subsist on small tidbits of bread they
found on the path into the forest.
Once on their forages they met a little girl
dressed in red. She said her name was hood.
She had a red dress.
She had a knowing about the forest and the surroundings.
Said don't trust no one. They are all *******
wolfs. And they walked.
Where they ran into three lil pigs i forget.
Think it was in Louisiana around Baton Rouge
near the Bayou la batre and the wind was blowing
and the Republicans ignored them
and the Police kept them in
and the little boy, Jack Horner , who had a finger in the ****
saw them coming , and pulled his thingy outta the hole
and all hell broke loose.
I give my votes to the guy on the fence
who fell and all the King's horses
all the King's men
didn't even try to put back together.
Jun 2, 2016
Jun 2, 2016 at 4:29 AM UTC
He sat in his favourite corner,
Each day, just taking his pills,
The old man, Frederick Horner
Counting his cash and paying his bills,
They watched and noted his every move,
Took note of each sign of life,
He’d outlived both of his daughters,
And even his scheming wife.
He never revealed how old he was
And nobody knew the truth,
He said he was old as Methusaleh,
Remembered the Biblical Ruth,
He still had the very first dollar he’d earned
Had framed it, and locked in his drawer,
But now he had multi-billions,
And each day added more.
‘You’d think he would give us some,’ they said,
His sons, Nathaniel and George,
For they had to work for their daily bread,
And Nathaniel slaved at a forge.
‘He can’t live forever,’ George opined
‘And then it will pass to us,’
The money was always on George’s mind,
As he drove the local bus.
‘We’re not getting younger,’ Nathaniel said,
‘I’m forty and you’re forty-two,
We could have made good if he’d shown some trust,
But look at our Becky and Sue.
They both died young, of neglect they said,
And mother, she died from the shakes,
But he goes on, he’s just about dead,
It must be those pills he takes.’
They’d watched him taking his yellow pills,
He never said what they did,
The blue, kept under the windowsill,
The orange, the old man hid.
‘It must be them that keep him alive,
The orange, the yellow and blue,
What if we take the pills away?’
‘You can, but it’s up to you.’
‘Maybe we ought to try them first,
They could give us both long life.’
‘They didn’t do much for her,’ said George,
‘The old man’s second wife.’
Nathaniel nodded and looked quite grim
He remembered the yellow pills,
Spilling out of the woman’s hand
When she fell down, deadly ill.
They’d never been close to their father when
Their mother suddenly died,
Whenever there was an argument
They’d taken their mother’s side,
The old man sat in his corner and
Would mutter of stains and blood,
Would wait for a glimmer of light to shine
But doubted they understood.
‘We’ll try the blue, one pill apiece
One night when he’s in his bed,’
And so they did, they swallowed them down
In seconds they fell down dead.
The old man grinned in his final breath,
‘Too curious, those two,
They should have asked who their father was
For it wasn’t me… I knew!’
David Lewis Paget
Feb 21, 2015
Feb 21, 2015 at 6:38 PM UTC
Backed into a corner.
Folded over four hundred times.
"I thank whatever gods may be"
for my indeterminable mind.
Thrown about like little Jack Horner.
I've never cared much for pie.
Christmas either, for that matter.
"If you are me then who am I?"
Somebody sent on a suicide mission.
Grand plans of livin' but doomed to die.
She smiled wide after I delivered that line,
and a small part inside of me died.
I'd be better off if I could get paid to cry.
I'll try not to be so stubborn about it.
In forty-two seconds I'm bound to forget.
Wait, what were we talking about just now?
How much of this have I already said?
If there's bliss in ignorance then there's sadness in truth.
I once loved a girl whose mother's name was Ruth.
It's a Biblical thing.
She was mostly Adam and I was niEve.
I sometimes get lost when walking down familiar streets.
It may not be the greatest thing,
but hey,
it's still pretty neat.
Mar 27, 2015
Mar 27, 2015 at 1:43 AM UTC