I wonder, does this mean a thing to you,
Beyond the Mother of God? Oh you battled
For centuries over if she did or didn't, true
Locker room talk for a band of rattled
Clerics. Was it any of your business, b@st@rds?
She bore our Saviour, and I could not give two
Figs for perpetuity, but you do. So, costards,
Wherefore this misprision, as you know you do,
Of this, my chastity, and thus of all the women
Of our congregation? My choice, vocation, right
Is to let no man sully this house of mine, so sin
You by casting there my freedom in the fight
Against the wolves, appeasing the hunger of an ancient god,
He who moves the blood of man, sacrifice me, why don't you?
You want to talk continence? I'll give you that, you ill-shod,
Misbegotten, and untried fools. Do as you preach, not as you do,
And talk not about what happens behind the altar.
Just locker room talk. Boys will be boys. Read the psalter,
Girls, you must be silent. Be chaste, and if you can't,
Be silent. It's not that you can't, it's only that you won't.
Jun 16, 2025
Jun 16, 2025 at 4:35 AM UTC
I tried to move fast, God, move before
The Devil that You counselled that we pray
Deliverence from. I lay my hands, each sore,
Before You, skywards, and You smile that way
You do, but say nothing. From friendship to You,
I should not look You in the face. Do I write
Blasphemy, when every day I strive to do
What Your only begotten Son did fight
For with His love, and die for with His blood?
I cannot pretend to know You, though I do;
You have been the breeze beside me, stood
Still at no point, for Time moves, and so do You,
But, God, we had another victim. How do I paint
The murkiness of this? He washed what he defiled,
And my eyes are shall never be free of the taint
Of that which I have not seen, nor my heart mild
At this. Stronger men claim to stand for us
But our words are empty to them, and only then,
When seed blooms to canker, clamourous,
Do they deem to find the world again,
As empty as the words, their promises -
Oh, Life, so easy ravaged, so soon gone! -
Gallop, I pray you, all ye ministers,
Before the speech is cut, and deed is done.
Jun 15, 2025
Jun 15, 2025 at 3:36 PM UTC
If I could paint you another morning, then believe me, I would
But she rolled out of bed only just because she could
And there are still dark shadows lurking there at the edge of the wood.
No sound is normal anymore, everything rings, rings, rings,
The death knoll sounds, and the choir sings,
And the doctor, the doctor, well, he just talks of things.
The key key key stays stuck in the door
Nothing feels like safety anymore
Nothing feels like harbour, for the shore
Is jagged sharp rocks crying out for more;
At the bottom of a dark alley, she cries,
On the edge of a green, she dies,
And oh how the time flies
When the folks on the case won't spare you no sighs.
I put on a broad shouldered jacket again, and I said:
"It'll never be me, and it's all in your head."
But if I could now find the first hand that led
To the very first woman being left for dead,
Left for derision, left for scorn,
Left hoping that she had never been born,
Oh God would he wish.
Jun 13, 2025
Jun 13, 2025 at 5:24 AM UTC
What if my heart is an open wound for your purposes?
Dissent, darling. Cross not my path. I see you
In every guitar string, tennis net, bicolour flag,
But I don't see you within me. Excuse the lag
In my conscience, and I'll excuse each view anew
Of your face I realise I don't like. Lay the roses
Down for your soul, change the name on the stone
To mine. I closed the doors on my saviour when
His spokesmen told me my chastity was nothing
Even as hers was the holy grail, and snuffing
Out the candle again, I knock on your door, then,
Like delirium is all I know. Like my shirt is undone.
Mar 12, 2025
Mar 12, 2025 at 9:20 PM UTC
Did I ever hide? The fact remains
The gold here is bought by blood.
Cherries drawn in the same carmine stains
And nothing they all say is good.
I will take my part of the beetroot:
I cried at the dawn of your cause.
You saw it fit to pick up and uproot,
And we strike and dig in our claws.
I stay underground, you know? Not all:
Some claim that I am without grace -
United we stand, parted we fall,
We still share a name and a face.
Kindness was never able to ****
And cruelty cannot buy love,
And so I stand on my windowsill
And wait from a sign from above.
We all are destined to lose something
In this crazy and needless war;
Love and compassion stay on the wing,
You can't stand my sight any more,
So I stood and asked your forgiveness,
For striking you, my dear sister,
Though I can't cure all of their illness:
Freedom lives when all have kissed her.
Mar 7, 2025
Mar 7, 2025 at 11:53 AM UTC
When tenderness became a thing
That left with you, well, I've regained
It - there are men, who care, and show
It, too. Kissing on main market streets
Is a thing. This wasn't supposed to be
Revenge. It wasn't. I asked my friend,
And he said yes. Well, he kissed me,
Like a man. He took what he wanted.
He took joy from seeing mine, and I was
A woman again, and your rejection faded,
And men were men, and women were women,
And all was right in the world. Save that I
Messed up my knee and should have told
My family where I was, why I'd got stuck
After the work-do. I was supposed to have
Helped and all. I have a love already - it is
With those waiting at home, not waiting
To be found on a street corner, cold and
Desperate, like a Frank Sinatra song, sung
Nervously by a girl who wishes she were more stupid.
But, (you whose name dare not cross my lips),
It wasn't so sad. My colleague was gratified -
What do you know of a ten year love story
Falling apart? You, who built me a lifetime
In two weeks. Were I better at talking. Could I
Figure you any more than he could figure her.
Do you know what desire tastes like, your own?
Do you remember mine. Did it feel alien on
Your tongue. Did I feel like "No, this is nothing
Of mine, this is not mine, not this." I wonder.
What do I know about love? I know about seeing
The hurt in someone else, and kissing that.
I know how to care for wounds, and I know
How to rip them open, too. Last night might
Have been the first time I didn't want revenge
On every deep cut men have grafted in my bones.
Someone cared (and people cared at home, too).
Someone wanted me (at home I was wanted, too).
I wanted to cast light onto a shadow in his mind
And found my own darkness again, like you will,
Perhaps, the next girl you take a chance on,
When you need a reminder you still have the touch,
Or when you fall, like a boy. I reach out and I
Find my own wounds, and yours, in the night.
I reach for you, and I find you barred. You
Swallowed the key and the lock, and I don't -
Can't - want to reach into your chest to pick
The lock with my bloodied fingers. Benya,
(Oh I dare), I'd gnash flesh to bone for you
And break that to the marrow, but your name
Would be "Love", and I am not that stupid.
Dec 19, 2024
Dec 19, 2024 at 12:54 AM UTC
Tell me that I won't find myself in rioja.
I think you'd disapprove, but you pretend not to care;
I sobbed four years worth of guilt out, and ya
Can't reply to my texts like I could dare
To beg forgiveness over and over, once. I knew
I wasn't good - and I knew I could be, but you
Had me well believing I'd struck gold. Why don't
You tell me I was a mess? But you can't and won't,
Because I wasn't, and it's true that you are lost,
And I'd find you where it'd hurt you most.
Dec 12, 2024
Dec 12, 2024 at 7:49 PM UTC
I think you know, and I never will,
What's going on in your mind so still
And not. You just can't open up, that's fine -
I've told you what exists in mine.
I wonder sometimes if you know it all too loud.
But know this too, and I'm not proud
That I'm saying this, but I lost my pride
When I let you in and you let yourself slide,
As slick the years-abandoned edge of a kitchen knife,
Back out of my DMs, if you will, out of my life
You changed in the course of a few days - Well,
I'm grateful for the Heaven that you made into H*ll.
When I die... I'm not going to die, that's old news,
You couldn't try, or do, or fix, or choose -
You loved me because I was my own woman,
And you maybe couldn't deal with that, man,
Either. But know this - I remember what it is, now,
To wear lipstick and my hair up, though I recall how
You loved me natural. I remember what it is to be courted,
Though you gave me enough of that, and we thwarted
Jealousy, you and I. I remember what it is to smile,
Though I blushed in your sight in a way that I'll
Maybe never blush again. Just to say, Benya, I loved you,
But I also now remember what it is to love myself, too.
Dec 10, 2024
Dec 10, 2024 at 7:47 PM UTC
It's easier to embrace smudged crimson
And washed jet - they hurt with an E-string
Staccato, a familiar and a constant.
Come, let me don my madness once more
And laugh in the face of well-known shards
Like they love me. Take my filigree of words
And tell me nothing, not even that it's beautiful -
I cannot be answered, I, who would eat the night
Whole, I, who break at the slightest tremor,
And love it, too. Nothing was so true save falsehood,
And no love was sweeter than its cold kiss
Flung back in my young, still innocent, face.
Did you ever think to ask? I thought you never would.
I've accustomed to the silence now. I fill it with storms.
Nov 1, 2024
Nov 1, 2024 at 7:15 PM UTC
When the sun is down
The moon comes around to try & hug her
Night & day are lovers
Forever chasing each other
An endless endeavour like no other
They are meant for one another
Hiding their feelings behind the Earth's cover
During dusk & dawn, they blend their colours
It's their love they utter
The moon adores the sun more during summer
In awe of her in her element
Surrounded by stars, he stays celibate
Astounded by her being above par
Far above, yet still with benevolence
No one comes close, they're irrelevant
Shines so bright, she must be heaven sent
Aug 17, 2024
Aug 17, 2024 at 6:19 AM UTC