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"hideouts" poems
Better the gorillas of Rwanda are given birth certificate Within a brief while of their visiting the earth, Their security is guaranteed by the state machinery Basking in the full confidence of three meals a day, Not wary of political repression based on suspicion, They have a national day in their honour Fully agitated for clean environment By the political incumbentcy, They are now the first class citizens As the Rwandese citizens of human origin Of varied political stand suffer under agony In prisons and exiles, jails and hideouts On the run for ever for fear of their lives.
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Jul 27, 2014
Jul 27, 2014 at 8:34 AM UTC
BETTER THE GORILLAS OF RWANDA
9:43 on a frigid clear morning, the morning I made the conscious decision to stand as far as possible from the dropoff to the train tracks, and an older gentleman next to me, newspaper folded, saying "It's a cold one today, isn't it". And I smiled in agreement and I drank my overpriced coffee, fogging up the sky. 10:13 on the train, unwashed windows turning the sun dirty-bright, and I didn't drift off for it as all the men in suits and flatlined mouths slowly did. And 11:36 in the City, a man I had decided not to love and his sarcastic appreciation of modern art, and me laughing endlessly. And this man showing me his secret hideouts and telling me secret stories, stories that you earn. I had decided not to love him, though, and so I didn't. It was easy because he had made no such call. And 5:52 in his marble high-rise and his bed that was bigger than my bed, on it, he told me he had decided not to love me too. And then we kissed, and kissed, with nothing-to-lose moving our hands and mouths all over each other. Nothing-to-lose tangling his sheets and relaxing our heartbeats, and making them audible. 8:04 on the night of the morning I began to fear the third rail and the whoosh of the New Haven line, a bruise on my neck and my kiss-swollen mouth flashed red and dirty-bright to the post-commuters, and the man I forgot not to love still in the city, and the feeling of peaceful but irreversible damage heavy on my lap.
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Jan 20, 2013
Jan 20, 2013 at 10:57 PM UTC
Something Serious
Everything is asleep and in pain, in love and dreaming about another life I say to myself, it is time I take my own lookout, unfaithful sailors know they can't see a thing but they keep their place on the prow out there in the darkness where boats are colliding, oh yes, they are blind or awake feeling the dark like light, like those levels of cold and heat underwater, you know what I mean, when you are dreaming or in danger, that place where fish live and sleep, sometimes I think I understand everything,  but I know that I am wrong, and incredible as it seems, the shadow I see when I'm hung, I want to think of hideouts in the mountains where a man can go to die there.
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Jul 23, 2016
Jul 23, 2016 at 8:45 PM UTC
Feeling the dark, like light
You wear your black tie like a felony. You wear your dark sunglasses like a criminal. I'm your little wallflower; hiding in your hideouts, riding down your highways, looking for escape and I don't know where I'm going. Don't mind where I am. I suppose I don't know. Grim Reaper! These pills make life seem sweeter! Sin eater... could you make me clean again? Am I still "pertinent" to your heart? [Am I your little wallflower?] Am I the one you love? I don't know where I'm going, but I don't mind where I am. I suppose I don't know, and these dark sunglasses so I never have to look away; today is such a perfect day. Twenty one years and it's always been the same.
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Apr 9, 2014
Apr 9, 2014 at 5:52 PM UTC
"We Flirt With Death!"
Fast her wild days ran tall as forest foxglove, long the happy sun of wing full prayers and beating drums grassy knees ripening green on summer's lawn honeycombed hideouts of laughing stings and bees running long through wild meadows pale of butter's milky cream a child's face soft as flower petals so quick to bud into full bloom blushing in her rosy days a swan soon flies to the wild unknown there where an hourglass looks on
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Jan 24, 2013
Jan 24, 2013 at 5:52 PM UTC
The wild unknown
you ever feel like we’re too connected? like everything is so crowded and jammed up that we don’t notice each other the little things, the stop to smell the roses moments pass us by and we are rushing from here to there to and fro ants in an ant farm squished unknowingly up against the glass the sun glares down like a hungry beast we scurry into our holes and hideouts communicating in ones and zeros but always missing the point we seek meaning and passion and excitement but complain we have no courage our lives move and move like rafts on the Mississippi But I had better things to do than read Huck Finn hours of mindless entertainment and then no inspiration endless desert of desperation and depression hop from one city to the next no end in sight run from problems hide from anything that could make life exponentially better callous and fearless and crude joking about life and death to cope with grief take everything for granted burn bridges, never let them see you cry let the status quo control you go to college, get a job don’t be a burnout, dropout, failure let them define happiness and let them measure my success overweight sunburned living in a garage if that’s not success I don’t know what is the adolescent american dreaming of easy money can’t even drive a car I need glasses and new pants bought running shoes but I’m only running from my problems bury my anger and depression nervous laughing crack a joke, as long as you don’t crack you’re fine talk about your goals but only half-heartedly pursue them like a cop who wants the donuts more than the punks he chases I want a wife, a life, of happiness with kids and a house a degree and income talk about religion and philosophy read books, but never bother to finish inconsistent, and never complete talk when you don’t know what you’re saying never admit “I don’t know” count your friends on one hand but don’t let it know what the other hand’s doing my mind has a mind of its own I never bother to follow through like a tree that is uprooted by the storm struck with wanderlust I fly away
0
Mar 8, 2013
Mar 8, 2013 at 3:42 AM UTC
Just Muddle Through
you ever feel like we’re too connected? like everything is so crowded and jammed up that we don’t notice each other the little things, the stop to smell the roses moments pass us by and we are rushing from here to there to and fro ants in an ant farm squished unknowingly up against the glass the sun glares down like a hungry beast we scurry into our holes and hideouts communicating in ones and zeros but always missing the point we seek meaning and passion and excitement but complain we have no courage our lives move and move like rafts on the Mississippi But I had better things to do than read Huck Finn hours of mindless entertainment and then no inspiration endless desert of desperation and depression hop from one city to the next no end in sight run from problems hide from anything that could make life exponentially better callous and fearless and crude joking about life and death to cope with grief take everything for granted burn bridges, never let them see you cry let the status quo control you go to college, get a job don’t be a burnout, dropout, failure let them define happiness and let them measure my success overweight sunburned living in a garage if that’s not success I don’t know what is the adolescent american dreaming of easy money can’t even drive a car I need glasses and new pants bought running shoes but I’m only running from my problems bury my anger and depression nervous laughing crack a joke, as long as you don’t crack you’re fine talk about your goals but only half-heartedly pursue them like a cop who wants the donuts more than the punks he chases I want a wife, a life, of happiness with kids and a house a degree and income talk about religion and philosophy read books, but never bother to finish inconsistent, and never complete talk when you don’t know what you’re saying never admit “I don’t know” count your friends on one hand but don’t let it know what the other hand’s doing my mind has a mind of its own I never bother to follow through like a tree that is uprooted by the storm struck with wanderlust I fly away
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62
Ascending to the second layer, a stench of nauseating breath expands across the zephyr. I attempt to avoid a cough and the opaque fog thickens as we reach an abrupt drop-off. Depicted below are frantic beings who have only the remembrance of anxiety, torment, and panicked feelings hiding amongst the remaining rubble in a soft whisper they beg for mercy, neglecting against their fatal, violent destruction on the vitality of the innocent. The scent swells to an intense sickening along with the dryness of incalescence. A low growl begins to rise! Traveling across the infinite distance, a foul creature comes to brutalize. The petrified beings cower in their hideouts and I hold my breath carefully as three giant, damp, and cold snouts emerge from the heavy smog. A rush of frigid wind washes over and I come to realize, it is the Watchdog. One risks a dangerous error in the act of running to the void, but the motion distracts the devious hunter. He strikes and pins the immoral, viciously tearing the flesh to pieces. Finally, taking him in the muzzle Cerberus violently tosses the limp body for it no longer contains value nor interest. And I ask my Lover very faintly: “What becomes of the one enduring torture?” And he, nonchalantly: “Don’t worry, my dearest. They have yet to regain their composure.” As we escape from the horror below to the unknown exceeding cruel, the dying mortal begins to regrow.
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Dec 21, 2016
Dec 21, 2016 at 7:26 PM UTC
Canto III
Undress all my doubts, Especially, the ones in secret hideouts Embrace my deepest fears, Piled up hurt from the past years Kiss my scars gently to leave your mark, Light the fire of your love in my dark Hold tight my numb surviving heart, Drench it in the river of emotions so it could restart Make love to my soul, So it might feel whole.
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Oct 25, 2018
Oct 25, 2018 at 4:01 PM UTC
Make Love To Me
I DON'T WRITE LETTERS, JUST POEMS BUT IF THIS IS AN OPEN LETTER THEN IT'S GOT THE ADDRESS OF ALL YOUR HIDEOUTS, ALL YOUR GHOST TOWNS TATTOOED ON IT SO **** YOU FOR ALL THAT WE'VE BEEN THROUGH I FEEL LIKE I LEFT ALL MY PIECES IN YOUR BEDROOM, THERE'S NO PEACE HERE IN MY HEAD LAST TIME I SAW YOU I FELT LIKE I RELAPSED BACK INTO MY BEST BAD HABIT I’M SO ******* STUPID, SWORE I WOULDN’T BUT I’M A LIAR PAST BEHAVIOR IS THE BEST INDICATOR OF FUTURE BEHAVIOR AND IF YOU'VE BEEN AN ADDICT, I'VE HEARD YOU'RE ALWAYS GOING TO BE ADDICT EVEN WHEN YOU'RE CLEAN I'VE HEARD THAT YOU'RE ALWAYS GOING TO BE ITCHING FOR SOMETHING SO DOES IT MAKE ANY SENSE WHEN I SAY I THINK I LOVE YOU AGAIN? I THINK THAT'S A GOOD METAPHOR BECAUSE WE DIDN'T HAVE A LOVE LIKE NURSERY RHYMES AT OUR BEST WE WERE A HORROR STORY, AT OUR WORST WE WERE JUST AN ALLEGORY AND THE SUN FELL IN LOVE WITH THE MOON WHAT A ******* TRAGEDY, LOVERS WHO COULD NEVER BE LOVERS WHO COULD NEVER EXIST AT THE SAME TIME AND PLACE, ALWAYS PASSING EACH OTHER BY LIKE SHIPS IN THE NIGHT EXCEPT I'M NOT THE SUN AND YOU'RE SURE AS HELL NOT THE MOON WE'RE MORE LIKE COMETS ONLY DESTINED TO COLLIDE AND CHIP EACH OTHER'S SHOULDERS ON OUR WAY OUT THE DOOR AND IF WE WERE A SHIP THEN WE WERE A SINKING ONE SO WHY DO I FEEL LIKE THE TITANIC WITHOUT YOU? TRYING TO BAIL MYSELF OUT I DIDN'T THINK THIS IS WHAT LOVE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE ABOUT AND YOU KNOW WE HAD IT COMING LIKE A TRAIN EN ROUTE INESCAPABLE, I'M ABLE TO SEE LIKE HINDSIGHT IS 20/20 BUT I SWEAR I NEVER SAW A BETTER VISION THAN YOU AND I THINK I'M A LITTLE SCARED THAT YOU'LL ALWAYS BE IN THE BACK OF MY HEAD, AT THE TOP OF MY LUNGS, HIDDEN EVERY POEM I EVER WRITE I'M SO SORRY THAT EVERY SONG ON THE RADIO FEELS LIKE IT'S ABOUT US YOUR VOICE  USED TO CRACK ON ALL THE HIGH NOTES YOU'RE STILL THE BEST THING I'VE EVER HEARD AND THIS IS A STORY THAT'S ALREADY BEEN WRITTEN PLAGIARIZATION OF MY OWN DREAMS I THINK THINGS ARE JUST AS OFTEN WHAT THEY SEEM AS THEY AREN'T AND I THINK SOMETIMES ANGRY IS JUST A STYLISTIC CHOICE BECAUSE BEING SAD IS PLAYED OUT
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Jun 1, 2015
Jun 1, 2015 at 4:26 PM UTC
I WROTE THIS IN CAPSLOCK BECAUSE I COULDN'T SCREAM IT OFF ROOFTOPS
I DON'T WRITE LETTERS, JUST POEMS BUT IF THIS IS AN OPEN LETTER THEN IT'S GOT THE ADDRESS OF ALL YOUR HIDEOUTS, ALL YOUR GHOST TOWNS TATTOOED ON IT SO **** YOU FOR ALL THAT WE'VE BEEN THROUGH I FEEL LIKE I LEFT ALL MY PIECES IN YOUR BEDROOM, THERE'S NO PEACE HERE IN MY HEAD LAST TIME I SAW YOU I FELT LIKE I RELAPSED BACK INTO MY BEST BAD HABIT I’M SO ******* STUPID, SWORE I WOULDN’T BUT I’M A LIAR PAST BEHAVIOR IS THE BEST INDICATOR OF FUTURE BEHAVIOR AND IF YOU'VE BEEN AN ADDICT, I'VE HEARD YOU'RE ALWAYS GOING TO BE ADDICT EVEN WHEN YOU'RE CLEAN I'VE HEARD THAT YOU'RE ALWAYS GOING TO BE ITCHING FOR SOMETHING SO DOES IT MAKE ANY SENSE WHEN I SAY I THINK I LOVE YOU AGAIN? I THINK THAT'S A GOOD METAPHOR BECAUSE WE DIDN'T HAVE A LOVE LIKE NURSERY RHYMES AT OUR BEST WE WERE A HORROR STORY, AT OUR WORST WE WERE JUST AN ALLEGORY AND THE SUN FELL IN LOVE WITH THE MOON WHAT A ******* TRAGEDY, LOVERS WHO COULD NEVER BE LOVERS WHO COULD NEVER EXIST AT THE SAME TIME AND PLACE, ALWAYS PASSING EACH OTHER BY LIKE SHIPS IN THE NIGHT EXCEPT I'M NOT THE SUN AND YOU'RE SURE AS HELL NOT THE MOON WE'RE MORE LIKE COMETS ONLY DESTINED TO COLLIDE AND CHIP EACH OTHER'S SHOULDERS ON OUR WAY OUT THE DOOR AND IF WE WERE A SHIP THEN WE WERE A SINKING ONE SO WHY DO I FEEL LIKE THE TITANIC WITHOUT YOU? TRYING TO BAIL MYSELF OUT I DIDN'T THINK THIS IS WHAT LOVE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE ABOUT AND YOU KNOW WE HAD IT COMING LIKE A TRAIN EN ROUTE INESCAPABLE, I'M ABLE TO SEE LIKE HINDSIGHT IS 20/20 BUT I SWEAR I NEVER SAW A BETTER VISION THAN YOU AND I THINK I'M A LITTLE SCARED THAT YOU'LL ALWAYS BE IN THE BACK OF MY HEAD, AT THE TOP OF MY LUNGS, HIDDEN EVERY POEM I EVER WRITE I'M SO SORRY THAT EVERY SONG ON THE RADIO FEELS LIKE IT'S ABOUT US YOUR VOICE  USED TO CRACK ON ALL THE HIGH NOTES YOU'RE STILL THE BEST THING I'VE EVER HEARD AND THIS IS A STORY THAT'S ALREADY BEEN WRITTEN PLAGIARIZATION OF MY OWN DREAMS I THINK THINGS ARE JUST AS OFTEN WHAT THEY SEEM AS THEY AREN'T AND I THINK SOMETIMES ANGRY IS JUST A STYLISTIC CHOICE BECAUSE BEING SAD IS PLAYED OUT
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54
I never trusted that warmth in your tank. I've always smelled something fishy About the hot moisture on the glass And how the water is close to boiling, Since it's coming from this hell Where monsters share the night And leave you waiting til the sun Rises to scare them to their hideouts. And I almost caught it red-handed, 'Cause now that warmth is gone And suddenly you're so cold, Not the kind of cold That drips on my palms When I take you right from the water To let you play in my hands And you would find a hole to creep out of And try to fly As if this whole world Is your own ocean. Now it's the kind of cold That no longer crawls and squirms To escape from me, 'Cause you've already found the way out. And you even left the doors open As your empty eyes stare at me. You won't look around now, Just when you've decided to open your eyes more. I can no longer see you, Just when you've decided not to hide in your shell anymore. But it wasn't that warmth after all. It was the warmth that wasn't there When you needed it the most. And it's such a shame the turtle sticks came too late And they were no longer enough To keep you wanting to be home with me. But they still were no later than my sorry And bathroom-borne sobs Which you won't be able to hear anymore, Or even understand. And the green in the portrait I made of you, The pixels of your images, And your shy face on my desktop, Can never be as alive as you once were. But you just can't Let me place you in this jar I labeled 'good days,' Pour over some sand, And keep you there and wait Until there finally is a place that we can call ours, Where our remains won't be called tenants. Darling, why now? You will still need a bigger tank, You will still grow up with me, You will still marry Shelly, If ever she makes it. God, let her make it. You can't be gone now, You just can't. I haven't even finished our song yet. Will you really leave me here, Writing songs about valuables I lost, People I sent away, And every living that died at my feet? I guess you will But I just can't get used to it, Nor do I want to get used to this; To have to get up But not want to wake up And attend every tragedy As if I were death's representative.
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Jul 9, 2013
Jul 9, 2013 at 4:08 AM UTC
Turty, Tell Me
I never trusted that warmth in your tank. I've always smelled something fishy About the hot moisture on the glass And how the water is close to boiling, Since it's coming from this hell Where monsters share the night And leave you waiting til the sun Rises to scare them to their hideouts. And I almost caught it red-handed, 'Cause now that warmth is gone And suddenly you're so cold, Not the kind of cold That drips on my palms When I take you right from the water To let you play in my hands And you would find a hole to creep out of And try to fly As if this whole world Is your own ocean. Now it's the kind of cold That no longer crawls and squirms To escape from me, 'Cause you've already found the way out. And you even left the doors open As your empty eyes stare at me. You won't look around now, Just when you've decided to open your eyes more. I can no longer see you, Just when you've decided not to hide in your shell anymore. But it wasn't that warmth after all. It was the warmth that wasn't there When you needed it the most. And it's such a shame the turtle sticks came too late And they were no longer enough To keep you wanting to be home with me. But they still were no later than my sorry And bathroom-borne sobs Which you won't be able to hear anymore, Or even understand. And the green in the portrait I made of you, The pixels of your images, And your shy face on my desktop, Can never be as alive as you once were. But you just can't Let me place you in this jar I labeled 'good days,' Pour over some sand, And keep you there and wait Until there finally is a place that we can call ours, Where our remains won't be called tenants. Darling, why now? You will still need a bigger tank, You will still grow up with me, You will still marry Shelly, If ever she makes it. God, let her make it. You can't be gone now, You just can't. I haven't even finished our song yet. Will you really leave me here, Writing songs about valuables I lost, People I sent away, And every living that died at my feet? I guess you will But I just can't get used to it, Nor do I want to get used to this; To have to get up But not want to wake up And attend every tragedy As if I were death's representative.
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70
The depths of my despair are gradually fading away. My downfall, my shortcomings, I've familiarized them already. Any wise words could never ever blow a gun on me, Preach to me not, nothing would matter really. It was like a century of pure sentiments; You will be haunted of my innocence and silence. Discontentment will creep back to you as if it were a consequence Run to your hideouts now and bid farewell to your merriment. Shuffling yesterdays and tomorrows that may fall into a fusion; Have you pore over yourself and have your own evaluation? Oh! My dear old friend, I guess you haven’t.. it’s just safe not to mention. And for a conclusion, that’s why you've made that quick decision. Well said, well done and my emotions enslaved me for an instance, An avalanche of good and bad memories flashes back without any nuance But, fearless, I am this time and ready to embrace acceptance; Rejection and motivation that is definitely a balance. A blue sky, I’ll paint and maybe world peace, I’ll create, You will soon notice me like fireworks with just a free spirit Midst conflicting egos before anyone could speculate, I’ll leave my mark, a highlight, and that is how I’ll operate.
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Jul 22, 2013
Jul 22, 2013 at 10:10 PM UTC
Emancipated
Conspiracies and plots are real things ,but Where are those plotters and those conspirators ?! Always hiding in their ugly hideouts just To order the visible and invisible scenarios ... All ends justify the means ,so Disguised and masked , Those plotters and those conspirators quietly Stage their evil Anywhere and everywhere ...
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Feb 16, 2015
Feb 16, 2015 at 7:49 AM UTC
Those theories of conspiracies
Rarebit fiend with an insatiable appetite zapped internally ******* off wi-fi looking for hideouts and new gold wings the brilliant glow through a transom window summons him feeds on the sleeping man programming him into a pathogen
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Mar 13, 2024
Mar 13, 2024 at 2:38 PM UTC
Mosquito Joe
Boating on the canal made me notice summer's return for the first time and immediately I missed winter. The way my head  tilted forward, spine protruded. I spat fire and ash, a small dragon; my skin sagged like a coat on a cold blue hanger. One morning after I'd spent the night with a boy, while he showered I saw a skeleton in his wardrobe mirror so ugly in loose underwear, the darkened hair lank, skin grey and sunk to bone and it all disappeared when turned to one side. How could he share a bed with that? I thought then, seeing clear how I existed for the reality of others, as a shell, offensive to the eye, a skull-head. - The voices came not long after, and in clinic bathrooms a coyote hungry stare, the silence of September. For thousands of days I had not felt my body. In my mouth grew ulcers and teeth died. , I really did stare at the sun and started drinking water again, Slowly started eating again until I managed pasta and pie. My body now- I think I'm touching my arm but instead feel thigh. There are the bones of an elephant gravely buried inside me. There  are phantom limbs attached, they belong to soldiers who shared beers in Vietnamese hideouts, they belong to the widows who lose their wedding rings down the garbage disposals.
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Jun 9, 2015
Jun 9, 2015 at 4:45 PM UTC
The True Story
Another dull winter day painfully crawls away into garden-variety biography just a run-of-the-mill résumé filled with antecedents whilom and to top it up a corrosive impostor syndrome. I lie quietly in the flickering, yellow light of a jaundice-stricken forty-watt bulb trying to think about something superb which would somehow improve the way things do (or do not) move in my achromatic life. Nothing worthwhile emerges. Only some vague urges act out from their stingy hideouts. The clock pushes the evening further into the dry, arid chill of the night so still. I sigh and switch off my ghost-like sleepy, vapid eyes into the ancient time-line of a vast, un-bridged solitude in my quarantined, immotile life. © Chandra S., 1995
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Jan 28, 2020
Jan 28, 2020 at 10:09 AM UTC
The Ancient Immotility
There once was a time that I created a new language with everyone I met that I wanted to keep around. Together we'd make up new words to describe the things we felt that we knew others would never understand and we used inside jokes and silly things that happened to make sense of other things or to forget things that hurt more than we cared to admit. For a while the people I met and I would explore town and claim little hideouts as our own and everyone got one but no one ever shared the location with anyone else. We would meet at sunrise or sunset depending on the day and talk about all the things everyone else would think us bratty or stupid or whatever for saying. Where we would write and paint, laugh and cry, give birth and die just a little more each time. But it was never meant as a bad thing. When I was younger I talked to people and I knew what happiness was but when my teacher taught me about the taste of ink and the feel of keys beneath my fingers I traded reality for what I could create myself. I longed for a story better than dreams and kinder than the real thing. But I quickly became addicted to that feel. Now I'm sitting behind a brightly lit screen opening healed wounds and cutting into my veins as I search for new ways to say the things poets have beat me to by centuries and trying to convey the cruelty of this world around me that really isn't all that cruel. And I really don't think you are able to comprehend this but I thought if anyone would listen to me it would be you. And I figured if I was going to bleed out tonight this would be the best canvass. Thank you for all of your kindness and love. Thank you for only ever believing in me and wishing me the best. Thank you so much for everything. I will not let you down this time.
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Nov 8, 2014
Nov 8, 2014 at 1:06 PM UTC
Cold Coffee at Midnight
There once was a time that I created a new language with everyone I met that I wanted to keep around. Together we'd make up new words to describe the things we felt that we knew others would never understand and we used inside jokes and silly things that happened to make sense of other things or to forget things that hurt more than we cared to admit. For a while the people I met and I would explore town and claim little hideouts as our own and everyone got one but no one ever shared the location with anyone else. We would meet at sunrise or sunset depending on the day and talk about all the things everyone else would think us bratty or stupid or whatever for saying. Where we would write and paint, laugh and cry, give birth and die just a little more each time. But it was never meant as a bad thing. When I was younger I talked to people and I knew what happiness was but when my teacher taught me about the taste of ink and the feel of keys beneath my fingers I traded reality for what I could create myself. I longed for a story better than dreams and kinder than the real thing. But I quickly became addicted to that feel. Now I'm sitting behind a brightly lit screen opening healed wounds and cutting into my veins as I search for new ways to say the things poets have beat me to by centuries and trying to convey the cruelty of this world around me that really isn't all that cruel. And I really don't think you are able to comprehend this but I thought if anyone would listen to me it would be you. And I figured if I was going to bleed out tonight this would be the best canvass. Thank you for all of your kindness and love. Thank you for only ever believing in me and wishing me the best. Thank you so much for everything. I will not let you down this time.
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44
*While I stood immobilized in thought the sunlight turned wet streets into diamonds People slowly returned from their storm shelter hideouts I remember the sound of tires plowing through rain pools A fools reflection in a store window , a straggling gust of air , the pang of solitude , scribbled chalkboard innuendo My God stares over my shoulder with an eraser Omitting filthy thoughts committed to the board Smacking my young hands with rulers , the 'stuff' of unchecked imagination entwined in thorn Hands clasped beneath my chin Deciphering godliness from mortal sin These wrinkled , wicked hands that feed city park birds Eyes that recognize those in need can secretly undress women on the busy streets Was Jesus the beggar I looked away from or was he the ********** I made fun and sport of Plodding the avenue , dreading home Planning every moment , calculating every roll of the bones on the game board* ...
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Nov 30, 2016
Nov 30, 2016 at 9:39 PM UTC
Anesthesia ...
“I think I might just Be in love with this sunshine. Come break the earth with me Sink your roots and be a tree.” “I think I might just-“ Sign up for the thrill, you said. Back when young hands would rest On strong shoulders. Those withered hands of mine Now drawn to channel the furrows of my forehead. An attempt to plough over the years of conflict, But nothing will erase. “Be in love with this sunshine.” For it won’t last, you said. Back then when I joined as a brother In all but blood. I didn’t heed your warnings then, I guess I foolishly supposed that the sun would always shine for us. The sun may still play upon the scarred recesses of my skin, But my eyes see nothing now. “Come break the earth with me,” The ground is hard and we dig best together, you said. Back then when trenches were still reminiscent of childhood hideouts and games of glorious battle. But we knew nothing of war, and our minds grew like a tiny maze with many dead ends packed in there. We paid dearly for our ignorance. “Sink your roots and be a tree.” Then I’ll do the same, you said. Back then when you would laugh in abstract thought while I smiled With my hand around your shoulder and yours around mine. The snipers got you in the end. I feel relief now, that you never lost your innocence, that you didn’t live to see how much of myself I lost When you passed. In the presence of the sun I raked the earth With trembling hands beneath a tree Pondering upon how ancient your face seemed all of a sudden Set starkly against the ****** soil of your makeshift grave. And I remembered When young hands upon shoulders were still strong, Now I reach for that same grime-encrusted hand upon my shoulder But it’s no longer there And neither are you. *“I think I might just Be in love with this sunshine. Come break the earth with me Sink your roots and be a tree.”*
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Mar 23, 2014
Mar 23, 2014 at 3:31 PM UTC
In Arms
“I think I might just Be in love with this sunshine. Come break the earth with me Sink your roots and be a tree.” “I think I might just-“ Sign up for the thrill, you said. Back when young hands would rest On strong shoulders. Those withered hands of mine Now drawn to channel the furrows of my forehead. An attempt to plough over the years of conflict, But nothing will erase. “Be in love with this sunshine.” For it won’t last, you said. Back then when I joined as a brother In all but blood. I didn’t heed your warnings then, I guess I foolishly supposed that the sun would always shine for us. The sun may still play upon the scarred recesses of my skin, But my eyes see nothing now. “Come break the earth with me,” The ground is hard and we dig best together, you said. Back then when trenches were still reminiscent of childhood hideouts and games of glorious battle. But we knew nothing of war, and our minds grew like a tiny maze with many dead ends packed in there. We paid dearly for our ignorance. “Sink your roots and be a tree.” Then I’ll do the same, you said. Back then when you would laugh in abstract thought while I smiled With my hand around your shoulder and yours around mine. The snipers got you in the end. I feel relief now, that you never lost your innocence, that you didn’t live to see how much of myself I lost When you passed. In the presence of the sun I raked the earth With trembling hands beneath a tree Pondering upon how ancient your face seemed all of a sudden Set starkly against the ****** soil of your makeshift grave. And I remembered When young hands upon shoulders were still strong, Now I reach for that same grime-encrusted hand upon my shoulder But it’s no longer there And neither are you. *“I think I might just Be in love with this sunshine. Come break the earth with me Sink your roots and be a tree.”*
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49
"Do everything that makes you feel alive." What am I suppose to do, If you are my everything, If you makes me feel alive, And if you are everything that makes me feel alive? I want to do you. I want to do you. Every nook and cranny. Every secret hideouts. Oh, what a great feeling must it be, To feel you want to do me more.
0
Mar 28, 2016
Mar 28, 2016 at 12:52 PM UTC
Untitled
Definitely defying distant memories of a time well spent on deepening the gaze into reality vs fiction. Lives lost in the shuffle of pleasantries and social wannabes. I know what the hell I don't want to understand in this life's dos and don'ts. Hanging mirrored picture frames mixed with printed wooden Scrabble games. The minds best outlet for verbal spewage across and in-between these thick painted lines on green plastic grassroots. And the Stadium is packed full! Outfitting Batman's infantries while shrouding Robin's hideouts. Burning bushes know much pain while badges shine at lights out. Find your passions through these smoking guns are tagged with stain.  F#ck the rules and F#ck yourself bewitching your betrayed. Handcuffed concrete convicts can't contain who holds the key.   m olding, Move ing, working parts to  Help The  bl I nded see…,,,... 07/02/2019 L. DeCypher
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Jul 2, 2019
Jul 2, 2019 at 11:53 PM UTC
Between these Lines
I love the way the Sea comes rolling in Towards me And all I can do is lower my arms Helplessly To gather these cherubic expressions Toddlers and young ones so full Of spontaneity And I take them to my breast Grateful for the unfailing love of their greetings They know me I am them, of them, for them Born on this land of golden sand & sun Naura of the ancient, Kannur in present times And here I am with these watery rings Waltzing around me In great camaraderie Tempting to go deeper, further in To feel the water boulders slam The shores shoulder And the wet soggy sand Hauled like sheets of golden veils With each ebb of the waves Caving into large hideouts Known only to my curling toes I love the way the Sea comes Wave after wave elbowing their way Towards me Cornering me from all sides They are so full of glee Like pups of Portugues water dogs They want to play games of frisbee With me thrown about in the air Riding the highs to the sky As though on a giant trampoline Full of exuberance of the teens Wave after wave wearing high on their crowns curly filigreed milky white veils Finally they settle down To shy bridal countenance All the while twirling about In coquettish stance From the corner of my eyes I see them drawing near Echoing the turbulence inside And I stretch my arms to gather the varying cadence of tiny wavelets Ushering in whispered nothing's Beneath the crash of the giants At the threshold of this blessed land ----- Seema Kj ©SeemaKJayaraman 2 Jun 2022 Kannur Payyambalam
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Nov 18, 2024
Nov 18, 2024 at 9:47 PM UTC
Sea
I love the way the Sea comes rolling in Towards me And all I can do is lower my arms Helplessly To gather these cherubic expressions Toddlers and young ones so full Of spontaneity And I take them to my breast Grateful for the unfailing love of their greetings They know me I am them, of them, for them Born on this land of golden sand & sun Naura of the ancient, Kannur in present times And here I am with these watery rings Waltzing around me In great camaraderie Tempting to go deeper, further in To feel the water boulders slam The shores shoulder And the wet soggy sand Hauled like sheets of golden veils With each ebb of the waves Caving into large hideouts Known only to my curling toes I love the way the Sea comes Wave after wave elbowing their way Towards me Cornering me from all sides They are so full of glee Like pups of Portugues water dogs They want to play games of frisbee With me thrown about in the air Riding the highs to the sky As though on a giant trampoline Full of exuberance of the teens Wave after wave wearing high on their crowns curly filigreed milky white veils Finally they settle down To shy bridal countenance All the while twirling about In coquettish stance From the corner of my eyes I see them drawing near Echoing the turbulence inside And I stretch my arms to gather the varying cadence of tiny wavelets Ushering in whispered nothing's Beneath the crash of the giants At the threshold of this blessed land ----- Seema Kj ©SeemaKJayaraman 2 Jun 2022 Kannur Payyambalam
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55
If it's not sizzling you took it out too soon brother cheese must dissolve into your taste buds root bound for leather. Imagination stopped him in his tracks decided to write her letters he never sent why bother another locked door? It froze him like Hans Solo trapped in carbonite. Her hands are already up if you decide to shoot her foxy eyes said to them, I saw myself glow deathless one day five years ago. She still cannot contact the local papers. Imagination made her hands react by throwing all her law books out her three story Life Window . She cut out early broke rank and predictions her wild burst for adventure followed a pathless trail tracking down Emerald Falls on stunning summit view We saw everything turn brighter there. She wears Forest Eyes at all times in her cleaner vision for everyone. Is this entire lush range our playground? Process that one. Die. Get reborn. Pick me up if my spine is dragging truck wrecks on coral reef tarmac. I appreciate you. Music drifted out a stranger's window after I picked myself back up I limped into perfect no drama hideouts regardless of your shapeless face I consider you my best friend. Bucking 10, 000 bales of hay is a training manuel for life: a) never give up b) believe c) be stronger d) be better e) all of the above The Mountain Lion living in his garden licked his face that morning shape shift into robin glide up to touch his favorite Indigo her flawless smile roped around the Milky Way we both fell harder than unpredictable comets she snaked through our skin like the starry way lived inside us decided to win us over no better choice than to ride it like a motorcycle rider trying to reach love on 3 a.m. back roads drunk on vines always following the river even if she rejected him his letter burned right through his brand new black pocket of August Leather and set the speedometer on fire, forever.
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Aug 3, 2020
Aug 3, 2020 at 10:51 PM UTC
Brand New August Leather
If it's not sizzling you took it out too soon brother cheese must dissolve into your taste buds root bound for leather. Imagination stopped him in his tracks decided to write her letters he never sent why bother another locked door? It froze him like Hans Solo trapped in carbonite. Her hands are already up if you decide to shoot her foxy eyes said to them, I saw myself glow deathless one day five years ago. She still cannot contact the local papers. Imagination made her hands react by throwing all her law books out her three story Life Window . She cut out early broke rank and predictions her wild burst for adventure followed a pathless trail tracking down Emerald Falls on stunning summit view We saw everything turn brighter there. She wears Forest Eyes at all times in her cleaner vision for everyone. Is this entire lush range our playground? Process that one. Die. Get reborn. Pick me up if my spine is dragging truck wrecks on coral reef tarmac. I appreciate you. Music drifted out a stranger's window after I picked myself back up I limped into perfect no drama hideouts regardless of your shapeless face I consider you my best friend. Bucking 10, 000 bales of hay is a training manuel for life: a) never give up b) believe c) be stronger d) be better e) all of the above The Mountain Lion living in his garden licked his face that morning shape shift into robin glide up to touch his favorite Indigo her flawless smile roped around the Milky Way we both fell harder than unpredictable comets she snaked through our skin like the starry way lived inside us decided to win us over no better choice than to ride it like a motorcycle rider trying to reach love on 3 a.m. back roads drunk on vines always following the river even if she rejected him his letter burned right through his brand new black pocket of August Leather and set the speedometer on fire, forever.
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63
rapping on your window, wondering if you'll let me in all the gals down on the E train placed bets on you saying no, but here we are, back at your door anyway, because why not have faith in luck wearing my stolen blue mink, don't tell me if she wants it back she don't know me, nobody invited her anyway maybe outer space has bigger plans for her could be so come on, johnny, take me dancing, c'mon, baby let me in, it's warm up on your roof but cold without you look, stole you magnolias, and my whole back seat is full excellent Chinese takeout, so baby come out tonight just come on out and show me around this ten cent town never been here before, wanna see your hideouts let's go to some dive bars, dance til our heels fall off you can wear my blue mink if you'll loan me those crazy spiked boots, toss me a hat here we go, finally, a night on this town can't wait to see Spanish Harlem with you
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Jun 1, 2018
Jun 1, 2018 at 10:08 PM UTC
under a dancing gibbous moon
Let me give your stream water of life Let me take taste and flavor of youth Be mine take me on the edge of knife With reality and truth, let me sooth Let me **** all wine from the grapes Let me take all wine from the fountain Let me travel through curves ,shapes Let me in front of blazon just to stun Let me play with full moon at night Let me seek beauty from the hideouts Let me take all streaks of your light Let my beloved clear all your doubts Col Muhammad Khalid Khan Copyright 2017 Golden Glow
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Feb 27, 2017
Feb 27, 2017 at 5:32 AM UTC
Let Me Sooth