"haywire" poems
anxiety comes as a haywire mind
a situation in your head
worlds away from everyone
words unsaid
scared to be anyone, much less yourself
but most of all
it comes
and it never really leaves.
Jun 17, 2014
Jun 17, 2014 at 5:37 PM UTC
It’s 6:15pm. Peter, Anna, Sophy and I are studying in the common room of our suite.
“We need to get serious,” Peter whispered, but there was no subject in the declaration, so I was left confused and uncommitted, “about getting serious,” he clarified.
“I’m not sure I can get serious about a guy who doesn’t separate whites and darks in the laundry,” I say, gently.
“No,” he said, shaking his head in brief vibration, “we need to get serious about DINNER.”
“Oh!” I said, maybe a little too relieved.
“Ha!” He chortled, “YOU overthink everything!” He said, nodding his head up and down to prove it was true. “And speaking of laundry,” he continued, seeing me start to open my mouth, “the other night YOU asked me if your pastel purple ******* should go with the whites or darks - so I must be an EXPERT!”
I laughed at the idea of his laundry expertise, sailing in from out of the purple like that, it was haywire. “Well,” I said, becoming introspective, “I didn’t know you’d hold onto that question like a grudge,” I said, in quiet, wounded accusation, “from now ON, maybe you should stay as far away from my ******* as possible.”
“What are you two grousing about NOW?” Anna asked, looking up from her computer. “You guys are like an old married couple.”
“True THAT.” Sophie said, like a judge right before knocking her gavel to finalize a ruling.
“We weren’t arguing!” I said, looking around confusedly. I looked at Peter, who was smiling broadly, “Were we?”
“Nope,” he said, wrapping his arm around me in a bearhug, “we were flirting.”
Sep 22, 2022
Sep 22, 2022 at 2:43 PM UTC
I was taught in science that matter and energy cannot be created or destroyed, and is simply manipulated into different forms and transferred to other objets.
In Psychology I was taught about the pre-frontal cortex, and how it houses the emotions of the human soul, and about the hippocampus which carefully extracting these emotions into long term memory so they can live forever. I wasn’t taught how these emotions were conserved.
I started wondering to myself, where the **** do the emotions one puts into another go?
Can emotions be created or destroyed inside the pre-frontal cortex?
Or are they simply transferred from mine to yours, which allows you to put effort into someone else, leaving my emotional remnants to manipulate themselves into pain?
Am I able to transfer my feelings into your PFC so they can spark a reaction with whats inside and manipulate them into something different?
Maybe thats how mutual feelings come about.
But would it not work if your necessary reactants have already been transferred elsewhere? I assume my emotions would react with your painful remnants to leave you neutral again, giving you the choice to forget him or feed him a bit more.
Then how the **** do the feelings of one change as time goes on?
I assume that infatuation never completes its journey to the hippocampus and simply passes through the PFC.
But how do emotions get manipulated into something negative after the rare chance that they complete the savage journey to the long term chamber?
The intermolecular forces of the bond created between us possibly gets overcome by something more powerful.
Something that has been freshly transferred into the PFC of one of the emotional bond carriers; like fear, or the emotional energy of someone new, and she’ll tell him “it wasn’t meant to be”
Which explains how you can move on whilst I can’t as my bond is also broken, but without consent, my their emotions to go haywire and destroy my psyche as they’re not bonded to anything.
I’m “broken”.
Although the intermolecular forces of the emotions inside your PFC have been overcome and manipulated into something new, the old emotional bonds still exist in her hippocampus, as well as his.
Emotions will constantly haunt me from there, creating constant relapse as the painful memories are resurrected and transferred back into his PFC.
They’ll haunt you too, possibly reacting with your current state to create regret.
Either regret of breaking the bonds or forming them in the first place.
I’ll reach a neutral state again, and you will have your turn to be broken when emotions from someone else are transferred respectively.
But we’ll never forget each other.
So i guess love never dies. Only active love. As the emotions in the hippocampus are set in stone whilst that in the PFC are transferred and manipulated, just like matter, and energy.
After all, we are just matter, with energy.
Dec 21, 2014
Dec 21, 2014 at 4:23 AM UTC
Your taste runs like kerosene in my veins,
Our kisses, heated, sending my insides aflame;
I spontaneously combust, lover.
Skin to skin, your mouth is concentrated sin
You make lose my morals, the lust is building;
Blinding, my pupils burn;
Yours darken with something primal, tensions thickening;
The anticipation's sinking
right into my gut, I feel your touch
calloused fingertips dancing up my thighs, teasing.
Your body glistening
with sweat, trailing down south
I follow the track hungrily with my mouth
but it doesn't seem enough.
Our hearts beat fast like the ticking
of a timebomb nearing detonation;
We're going to detonate, my love.
We're going to burst in fancy colors like fireworks gone haywire,
the bed is our sky.
We're going to get lost among the sheets,
like sailing across familiar seas.
The moonlight, dangerously bright
they seem to shine from your eyes
but they darken with something like clouds on a stormy night.
And I'm not sure if there really is a God
but tonight I kept calling his name
yours interspersed in between
heavy breathing, our pants sounding
like broken notes of some orchestrated masterpiece
and the crescendo's nearing.
Our pulse following the rising melody
I am mesmerized, out of control
I am lost amidst the euphoria
right now
with you
Feb 11, 2016
Feb 11, 2016 at 12:05 AM UTC
My mind gone haywire
By standing in this hour
Knowing I should be running
Rather then continuing my life the same
Self speech after speech
Yet no action takes reach
The longer it goes the more it grows
Is that whom i've come to be
Weakness taking over me,
Darkness without light is insanity
I must overcome the dark side
Temptations, mind influence manipulation
Masters of Puppets invasion
Acting lika sheriffs of a nation
Tempting only to control
Having their way through war
I'd rather keep strong
I'd rather stand tall
I will not break
I will not fall
Existing without living
I'd rather stop breathing
Jan 7, 2013
Jan 7, 2013 at 2:43 PM UTC
What happens
____ to space______
between us
This is the
human race
Ah, Vey?
Just pray
Overly smitten
But not seeing
clearly picture-prey
He or she runs!!
Little darlings
here comes the sun*
The lime doing the time
Falling trees of coconut
Feeling- overloved
Deviant artist
splat coconut milk
No Security Cat
comfort box
So out of recession
Killer fox______
Chocolatey coconut
Cleanse my mind detox
Almond Joy concession
Rise up Face Botox
He cannot
read you
Haywire always
wired up his words
Hurried Hazelnut
coffee if you mind
Over-sugared
Increased brain
functions bitter rinds
So commercialized
The Cocoa Puffs
Going bananas
monkey ***
Lexie Vamp Vex
Mr. Ed overload
of Oz colors baboon
Going up Air Balloon
So many airheads
The Rainforest
GQ he's gone IQ
((Quarterly Neck of the woods))
Not orderly Outback
Steakhouse
Dinosaurs
******
Vicarious
No shortcut
The nervous system
The fast have a drink
furious
Cracking a coconut
Her Safe______**
6-6-6 combinations
Could crack her
Coconut oil neck her
City Girl call her
Intellectual brain
Singing
Gene Kelly
umbrella
Raining coconuts
(On Overload)
Strawberry Fields
This will be short
Yeah right forever
shortcake, not any sort
The trend of
coconut
Nearer because
of you I am
further
She was the
Brazilian Nut
With her
blind gut
((Coconut Houdini))
Island of Bali
Beauty of Judy
Somewhere so over it
rainbow
King Kong
Hairy chest banging
coconut drink slurping
Of girl talk
Strong New Jersey
Stamina
***** of Venezuela
Overload of
Prima, Donna's
Instant Karma
going to get them
Knocked them off
there feet
Where is my
John Lennon
He has the best beat
May 21, 2018
May 21, 2018 at 6:58 AM UTC
Why does my heart still race when I see you?
I saw you walking today, with your friend, and all I could think was "Wow. Is this what a heart attack feels like?"
Because I can't believe it, I was done. I was OVER you.
And instead my heart goes "Beep... Beep... Beep. Beep. Beep. BEEP. BEEP. BEEPBEEEPBEEEPBEEEPBEEEP," every single time you come around, like a freakin radar.
I am not a submarine.
I do not NEED for every single cell in my body to alert me when you're within 20 feet of me because, like I said before, I WAS DONE.
No! Don't you dare smile at me with your crooked mouth and shining eyes.
Because then I feel gross.
I DON'T LIKE THE THOUGHT OF BUTTERFLIES FLYING AROUND IN MY STOMACH.
That is disturbing and physically impossible.
My stomach acids would've killed them on contact. Don't try to make this crush cute.
So please, for the love of a Jesus Christ Super Toaster, don't do THAT anymore.
And by "THAT" I mean, don't make me love you anymore.
I can't stand it and I won't for any longer.
In church I was taught that having idols was bad, but that's exactly what you are to me.
A forbidden fruit
So I am praying to God that you are a mango because I hate mangos.
Their insides are too thick and outsides way too thin.
Which is exactly like you because you are a haywire of emotions, but I can easily peel you away to see who you really are.
Maybe I do like mangos...
May 23, 2013
May 23, 2013 at 11:52 PM UTC
Cockroaches, I can understand that
if you had our ears, you would
run at the screams of my little sister,
who screams like she had seen a monster
crawling on the walls of the washroom
when instead she had just seen you
strolling in the late evening
basking the glory of tubelight.
But me, I come from peace,
I’m not disgusted by your existence.
I do not get flabbergasted by your
occasional flying skills. Infact I,
say hi to you when I come to brush.
But you, you go haywire in fear.
Do you sweat? Is there something
equivalent to that, that you do?
You needn’t, I wish I could talk
and tell you that I love you, and that
I do not want to **** you.
May 5, 2017
May 5, 2017 at 1:31 AM UTC
Outlaws in Love
You, a chaotic beauty,
Shootin' smiles from distance.
A dangerous puzzle -
Lost, with in your own existence.
Me, a haywire mess,
Trying to make sense of things.
Willing to be by your side;
In summers, winters, falls and springs.
We, a crazy hybird of chaos and peril.
Ready, to have a crazy ride.
Ready, to be the outlaws in love,
Like Bonnie and Clyde.
Nov 11, 2018
Nov 11, 2018 at 11:52 PM UTC
Drug; he controls my brain.
He stirs an irresistible blend of chemicals in my body and convinces me to fall for him; he increases blood flow to the primitive areas of my brain and activates the circuits responsible for love and desire.
Adrenaline; he balances my stress.
He keeps my heart strong and healthy as thoughts of him and us dominate me and excite me, prompting me to get tachycardia (fast heart rate above 100 bpm) and my blood pressure to rise.
Dopamine; he regulates my focus.
He stimulates desire and triggers pleasure in me; I remember everything about us, then forget about my surroundings; I am motivated to please him, then I daydream and become unable to stay on task.
Serotonin; he stabilizes my mood.
He charms and induces me to perspire and relax, crave and distance him, lose and gain sleep, feel pain and relief, get happy and upset, and decrease and increase my immune system functions.
Medication; he forces my loveswept cells to go haywire.
He has cured my lovesickness, shooed away my regrets, helped me move on from my past, boosted my (self-)confidence, made me look forward to tomorrow, and offered me a ticket to bliss.
Oxytocin; he enables me to produce lovestruck hormones.
He affects my moral molecules as he attracts my undivided attention, pushes me to trust him, raises attachment and empathy, brings psychological stability, and encourages me to want to be closer to him.
Vasopressin; he causes me to secrete lovetastic chemicals.
He renders me monogamous and continues to have me hooked onto him; he makes me thirst for him, display amorous behavior, defend him and us, and maintain a strong partnership.
May 5, 2016
May 5, 2016 at 7:18 AM UTC
Its your
its mine
no wonder
inside
there booms
the thunder
its yours
its mine
I do see
inside
the sun
so shiny
its yours
its mine
it is clear
inside
there falls
silent tears
its yours
its mine
that is why
inside
the walls
past gone by
its yours
its mine
thats it
inside
haywire
gray static
its yours
its mine
I do care
inside
of me
you to share
Nov 14, 2009
Nov 14, 2009 at 6:23 PM UTC
to kiss you senseless until i am a seaglass buried deep inside your skin. to lick salt off your palms with paper-cut lips, until each breath has gone haywire. to quietly sigh your name until it baptizes my heathen tongue. oh, the wars i would start; the wars i would end — darling, there is something soothing about all the violent ways i can love you.
Jan 7, 2021
Jan 7, 2021 at 4:05 AM UTC
Her wild tangled hair,
wearing a halo of evening sunlight
like a majestic crown,
goes haywire,
when a sudden guest of wind,
in the manner of a ***** lover
play with it,
in every which way
one can imagine.
Waves of scent,
of freshly cut lemongrass,
emanating from her auburn tresses,
light wild fire
in his thoughts,
as they go down the hill,
through the narrow path
lined with trees full of roosting birds,
to the clearing in the forest
where stands
the lone hunters' lodge
where they'd spend the night.
Apr 6, 2013
Apr 6, 2013 at 8:25 PM UTC
Haywire.
While sabotaging agencies are corrupting,
I lie frozen,
Downloading how to translate
this brainwash without constantly erupting!
Haywire,
United Suits of America,
drug-guzzling, anti-christ
injecting poison in the fruits.
Wake to terror, bleed from pain,
get pushed from mankind,
from our freedom fighters’
propensities to feign.
Frequencies being altered,
from 432 to 440,
Unaware of the subtle control
they have taken of our
***** of corti.
Receptors are jarred
our balance mistaken,
slowly these trails are weakened,
and souls must awaken!
Rhythms of nature
being projected on a screen,
too safe to go outside,
we have become rotting cans
of packed sardines.
May 28, 2015
May 28, 2015 at 9:30 PM UTC
Why oh why?
Nothing seems to make much sense to me anymore.
My mood and emotions are going absolutely haywire!
I feel happy, sad, angry, depressed, loved, unloved, and anxious.
I feel all of these at the same time.
How?
How does that even happen?
How can I be both happy and sad, loved and unloved,
and angry yet depressed?
I am confused.
Yesterday went downhill and I need something to help it stop from getting any worse. Obviously, what I am doing isn't helping.
Any suggestions would be awesome!
It just doesn't seem normal to me. I am all of these.
Happy: I feel like everything is going to be okay.
Maybe happy isn't quite the right word for it.
It is probably better to just say that I am optimistic.
Jun 3, 2014
Jun 3, 2014 at 9:50 PM UTC
Sitting on the empty stair steps,
Pouring over a thousand of terminologies
In highlighted photocopies of this thick,
Hi.
I know how quiet it is there,
Away from the buzzing sounds
Of the other students in the room.
I know how you have to
Focus, focus, focus
So you chose the spot,
[Maybe absentmindedly? Maybe not?
(Sometimes I wanted to walk straight to you and ask)]
Trying to rack your brains
On what you crammed into it last night.
I know you.
That’s what I’m trying to say.
I know you, not fully, not totally, never enough
And maybe that’s a shame
Or maybe that’s okay
But I see you
More often than not
(It’s not destiny nor fate—just timing and space.)
And I see myself, somehow,
In you that when I pass by, whether up the stairs
Or down,
I can’t help but throw
One last glance,
One last look.
It’s a vague mirror.
I’ve seen the smiles you gave people:
The polite-hello smile,
The you’re-my-friend smile,
The I-know-you-but-I’m-not-sure smile (etc.).
I’ve seen how you walk over the cold tiled floor
Like you can take the world,
Although more humbly and
Without much cruelty.
I’ve seen the happiness in your smile
When people throw you
The look of recognition:
They know you.
You’re the smart one.
You’re the scholar.
You’re the overachiever.
You’re the nice, all-around guy.
You’re basically, the best.
But I’ve also seen
The split-second of the tiresome day
Weighing down on your eyes.
I’ve seen you stare off space,
Looking like you wanted to run away.
I’ve seen the pressure on your
Blank face for only a second, a minute
That your mask gave away.
I want to tell you something.
I want to tell you the things I can’t tell myself.
I want to tell you the things I wanted to hear
When things spin too fast out of my hand.
I want to tell you, I know.
I want to tell you that sometimes,
It gets low.
And when it gets low
(Because it will get low and I know and I’m sorry),
Hold on, okay?
HOLD ON.
I know you don’t know me
Just as I don’t know you fully
But promise me something, okay?
Promise me, a nameless person,
Speaking to you through a
Typed message on paper,
That you’ll hold on through
The current that’s passing too strong, too fast.
That you’ll move on forward
When it gets haywire and foggy and weird.
Because
I see myself in you,
(Although somewhat lesser)
But unlike me, I know
One day,
You are going to be great.
So hold on,
Move on,
Go straight through
Because if you’ve reached the
Lowest point in your life
And no one puts their faith on you,
Forget them.
Forget them because
This nameless person right here
Knows the truth.
I believe in you
And I hope
You’ll believe in me, too.
Sep 17, 2014
Sep 17, 2014 at 9:39 AM UTC
Buddha told me
Through every aspect of my life, I get signs
But if I go to an event that gets washed out
It is just buddha testing me, to see how I act
You aren't defying Buddha if you go
Cause you don't know what will happen
But Buddha tries to improve you to make the right decision eventually
Like you go to the fireworks, and as the rain looks too set in
Buddha tries to get you to go home
He will plant messages in your phone from loved ones
And makes the people you talk to, very sort of lazy
And then suddenly you get the right sign
The rain was set in, but it ain't bad at the moment
So go home, you don't have to be normal
You ain't perfect, you felt like you wanted to go
Then you went home, cause it ain't safe out there
You didn't get bogged, nothing bad happened
It could've, but you chose the right time to leave
Normally Buddha put preaching in other people's speech
But really it doesn't rain quite this bad every time
It was just a sign that Buddha gave you to not worry too much
About events like that, you can learn how to get away
But you can't learn, not to go, cause, it could be back to normal next time
Buddha's powers work in ways that are very weird
And if you show maturity, whether you go or not
Is important to have the world, keep working normal
And not go haywire, the Mature thing, is not to say I won't go in the first place
But it Is be smart enough to go when you feel it is the right time
Buddha knows you can't be perfect
And really, you are cool, thanks to Buddha, yes oh dudes get down
Jan 2, 2015
Jan 2, 2015 at 4:22 AM UTC
Do you always wonder why people or a certain person stared in your direction ? This was mainly because half the time they couldn't muster up the courage to actually go up to you to engage in something constructive. It’s almost like there’s a taboo or something restricting them from entering the space around you,and just looking at you alone is worth every second, it’s precious almost like a rare egyptian artifact buried and hasn't been seen in centuries ; discovered and restored to a much more preserved and priceless state much more important,delicate and expensive. The thought of seeing you alone causes the person’s entire nervous system to go haywire,all the joints build with pressure,aches and fatigue,the body gets much more tension,sweat builds and runs almost uncontrollably ,which is never convenient. How funny it is they’ll spend hours actually trying to develop a new strategy to make them actually get this much closer to you .
The human’s mind is a very complex and unique system that works and is fueled by simple actions or simple occurrences within the environment.The mind is also affected heavily by emotions as well,our weak minds crumble under the emotional events that we can never seem to actually control and this then leaves us exposed and we can’t protect ourselves from the hurt or heartache we’ll actually receive later on. The truth actually is that we are stubborn and furthermore we don’t actually know when to quit , it’s a trait which is actually admirable but at it’s own expense it is costly;costly mainly because we’ll try and try and try and even though we gave it our all it may still never been enough to actually get that one person to actually notice or appreciate or admire you as you would've liked or hoped ,but we do get some self reward trying ,Right ?
Aug 14, 2014
Aug 14, 2014 at 1:34 AM UTC
Cold crusted on the outside
Boiling agony folded in
Twisting, turning and squirming
On the verge of spitting flames
Withholding the hunger for demolition
To raze the idols of perfection
Fuming with each punishing breath
Throwing up the grey smoke in skies
Ashening the way to thoughts
That red heart is on fire
The hard knuckle are pale
Soft lips caging venomous eruption
Eyes searing suns of combustion
Virulent brain going haywire
Grumbling of the lethal unsaid words
Fervid fluid of darkness filling the veins
Apr 6, 2016
Apr 6, 2016 at 8:57 AM UTC
60 seconds to go
My heart is pumping a marathon
Each beat a new threat to explode
Hitting me like a dozen syringes
Call the coroner
Cause of Death:
Adrenaline Overdose
45 seconds
I practice every coming moment
In my mind
Every mistake hits me at once
The imagination humiliation
Acts just like a garrote
My every breath is strained
Lungs burning, full of embers
White out the death certificate
New cause of death:
Suffocation
30 seconds
My flight or fight goes haywire
Yet I can do neither
The walls start moving
This room threatens to be my tomb
It is too late to fight
This demise is of my own accord
I want to fly
Yet my wings are clipped
Retract the obit
I fell to my doom
15 more
I hear my doom approaching
It calls to me
Every syllable shocks my system
A jolt to remind me that I'm going to fail
I shudder with every word
I close my eyes, pray
Count the seconds until doomsday
Cause of death:
Fear
10 seconds
I take a breath
9
It stays
8
I stand up to face the onslaught
7
I walk toward doom
6
My breath fights its way out
Only 5
Climbing fear turns to steady panic
4 more
Another heart attack hits
3
Another breath
2
Out
1
I step forward
The lights hit
The fear vanishes
I am no longer dead
Alive
The crowd before me resuscitates me
Every line I dropped in my head
Landed with precise expertise
Each cue struck
Every scene played to perfection
Cancel the death notice
On this stage
I am revived
Apr 4, 2015
Apr 4, 2015 at 7:30 PM UTC
I finally ******* get it
I need to know when to stop
I need to know when to focus
Enough of the smoke and mirrors
And all the hocus pocus
I’ve got to be preoccupied
To keep everything off my mind
What am I doing with my time?
Am I only a distraction
Instead of being the action
People wanna move
Standing still will make em snooze
Instead of being tight
I’ve never tried with all my might
Nobodies going to tell me what to do
If I expect it I’ll be *******
I cant let my **** be loose
Waking up is only the beginning
The rest of the day still needs some filling
My level needs to be higher
So I can gain and be desired
My brain had gone haywire
But I’ve finally fixed the wires
Finally some of my demons can retire
There are more moments when my head is clear now
Maybe I can finally get the standing ovation while I bow
I want to inspire
Be more than just admired
I want to truly be love
Tired of the when push comes to shove
I don’t want to fight anymore
There’s somebodies children I want to bore
What kind of mother would I be if I was just another chore
Sep 6, 2018
Sep 6, 2018 at 5:19 AM UTC
My heart pounding in tantrum
Bursting off my chest
The moment that you kissed me
Jacked up my heart rate.
That fitbit’s good for nothing
That gag around my wrist
It has been rendered useless
The day after we kissed.
My senses went haywire
Emotions off the chart
The beauty of a loving
Cannot fit on a graph.
It couldn’t feel vibrations
Nor my churning inside
The chemistry between us
Is tough to quantify.
Don’t ever kiss me impromptu
I’ll get a heart attack
Because you drive me crazy
You stir me inside out.
Feb 18, 2016
Feb 18, 2016 at 5:01 PM UTC