To me, open relationships, are ones that have no lies
not where anyone with twenty bucks can get between your thighs

And having things in common means both liking the Habs
not using the same powder since you gave me *****

And being careful means condoms and taking time to think
not trying to keep the noise down or not spilling your drink

So I'm flattered that you think I'm cute, and I have a nice ***
But really honey, you ain't my type, so I think I'll have to pass.

Sitting in front of the woodstove and feeling the heat
Comfy slippers are now in my feet
Staring at the flames dancing in the old firebox
My feet are warm in my nice woolen socks

A February evening at the cottage and feeling no pain
Watching Coach's Corner with Cherry and Maclean
The Leafs and the Habs are tied at a goal apiece
Life is good all bundled up in wool and fleece

Looking out the front window, the snow is quickly drifting
I'm warm and cozy inside and it's quite uplifting
Feeling like a good old Northern Ontario pioneer
I'm cheerful and smiling as I crack open a beer

Suddenly a dreadful feeling comes over me
I must run to the outhouse since I can't let it be
But nature calls and the cold sure is numbing
As I now sit here wishing I had indoor plumbing

pickneed habs in slunder covals
hicked and snayed at fair Medusa
agitated by her beauty
and the statues in her keep
all the while a stranger climbing
sword and shield upon his back  

by the entrance stood Medusa
as the pogwach sninckled closer
and the caliwhisps outgrabe
o'er the cliff she peered in wonder
at the beast's ascent towards her
gallow broamsmade in her heart

then, at last, he reached the cornice
rose and stood in briersome glaw
never facing fair Medusa
though the urge was thick and glarn
helpless there she stood in silence
motionless her angsome fra

all at once the blade ascended
snicker-snack and finished all
fair Medusa's life was ended
the wrickling beast now turned and saw
saw the pallid stoney visage
saw and wept in sloamy spow