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Leks Dec 2013
I crave doses of my past lifestyle/life
even though I'm content with the lessons I learnt from it; the cravings still linger.

The way we smoked cigarettes till the brim of the fliter on the roof
and spoke as much ******* as the number of cigarettes in the box allowed us to.

Star gazing as though the night would never end,
Creating dumb scenerios of how the world would end.
Or we'd simply listen to the silence of the night as though it had a deep cryptic secret for us hidden in each sound of nature.

It was as if life beyond my childhood days had not existed till that time with
You.
My heart lusts for a hollow feeling like that again but in a humble way as though it knows that such love only exists in a dream
Kinda like a dream you'd wake up from and instantly forget because your mind/heart cannot fathom such for the consious mind.

I remember that Summer like it was yesterday
I had bad religion by frank ocean on repeat subconsiously for weeks and when I realized that,
I knew I had to get my **** together for my own sanity.

Then orange Autumn arrived...
And there's something about the transition from
SUMMER to AUTUMN
that makes everything seem better than before.

As I watched the leaves fall from their roots a piece of my torn heart healed each time & the hue of the sun marinated its therapeutic rays on my frozen soul

One thing I learnt from that Summer was that I had to know what's worth chasing & what's worth forgetting forever
about an old friend of mine that i isolated myself from when my life took a complete turn
A lit cigarette dangles from my lips,
I don't know how, I'm hanging on to the tip
Of the fliter, reflecting on the cynical sinner
That I see in the mirror, every day and every night
Stay calm, Obey the law, live an ordinary life
I'm just an ordinary guy with an extraordinary mic
Singin' all my songs while I'm in the limelight
But after the crowd disperses and the lights go off
Then I'm just a lonely pothead with a smokers cough
I'm not rich, no, I'm worryin about the cost
When eatin my next meal is like eating from a food trough
I laugh at the fact of a casket, For the one certainty
In life is that everybodys just food for the maggots
But There's certain truths you come to understand
In the middle of turning from a boy into a man
I've learned you gotta get to the top, or go to the grave
I refuse to go down without every man knowing my name
And you gotta do what you can to follow through with your dreams
I know that everybody is just bursting at the seams
With the ideas and beleifs thay've come to uphold
Pasing it on to the young from the teachers that were old
I'm spreading mine through my music and my writing
Wanna be the best at rhythm and my rhyming
So be yourself, and do you
Don't ever let anyone tell you what you can and can't do
Started out cynical, but I started cherring up while writing this. Just a positive ending for you. :)

— The End —