early on the dock
the shipping dock

peaks peaking out atop
flatirons and boulders
still holding snowpack

some captains awake in their cabins
others guide their crafts to port
arrivals from madison, aurora, santa fe
hulls of soybeans, corrugate, and lotion

on the dock
reading efficiency and transit reports

quick greetings to the captains
then talk of black coffee
of nicaraguan beaches
of all that is easily accessed
by the regulated echoes
written on each soul

while small sparrows investigate
mullein and hawthorn
in tall yellowing grasses
and towering windswept clouds
move silently
across a dark exploding
dawn’s expanse
revealing the intentions
for the day
and all
start a new rotation together

remembering a high school photography teacher
teaching that it doesn't matter
that a similar photo had been done before
what matters is that I have not done it before

with that in mind
I went on a break of day hike
carrying as much concern for originality
as a grasshopper
or Shakespeare

to the top of the Boulder flatirons
approaching from the east
arriving at a rocky cliff
of the same flat sandstone rock
that the flatirons themselves were forged
where a bench had been constructed
from dozens of stone pieces
tucked into the cliff
with still enough distance from civilization
that one could only hear the faintest siren
positioned to receive the mid-morning sun
I accepted the invitation
to recline and relax my eyes
to consider
the collection
of other high school lessons
most of a training to perpetual middle-class non-identity
but occasionally
something worth remembering

all it seems i can do
is focus on what wasn't
i didn't get to hold your hand or kiss you.

i wanted to watch you ski and hike the flatirons.
i wanted to meet your friends and family.
i wanted to last, at least for a little while.

all it seems i could do
was focus on what wasn't
i didn't get to take you out or touch your face.

i wanted to bring you to my mountains and tease you about yours.
i wanted to introduce you to my friends and family.
i wanted to last, at least for a little while.

all it seems i can do
is focus on what wasn't
i didn't get to tell you i love you or...

i didn't get to.

i just didn't get to.