"fastforward" poems
shapeshifter, son drunk
& changing skins.
he digs up skeletons of a spanish battalion
buried
by tigers on the garden key.
suncresent
spray of blood & oranges.
new-fangled sailors once soaked
in madness.
now just starvation.
the viking speaks:
in limericks of new world poise.
his antler woven mask,
set nicely upon the shore.
seod, turtle lord
of space & time, appears only once
every lunar eclipse. bound by treatise
to the jellyfish triumvirate.
his acolyte,
bolivar t. shagnasty,
wanders the mainland in search of water
or meat of trees.
kindness
of men turns to dust & belly worms.
forgotten, the plants mutate
into root-rich empires
of fish & figurine.
million year armistice.
dr. samuel mudd,
shackled years to tide-slab &
fort jefferson. he
purifies the island of its yellow
shivering death.
hospital key.
fastforward hundred plus years
through mudd lifeline:
battle weary sneakers,
spokes sung by strum of card, the bmx
stridden boy & his
teenage mutant ninja turtle mask.
Apr 25, 2014
Apr 25, 2014 at 4:55 PM UTC
The clock in my room is silent.
It’s only in my head—my head—
That I hear the snick of time passing.
Snick snick snick—
It mocks me, taunts me,
Pulls me deeper into the nightmare.
Time has become my enemy—
I cannot rewind,
I cannot pause,
I cannot fastforward.
I want to return to Then,
Skip the Now—
Pausing would be horrid—
And not even glimpse the Soon.
But snick snick snick goes my clock—
Snick snick snick goes my mind.
The window floats before my eyes
And I am forced to look through it
And witness the Soon
That I’d rather avoid.
Soon Soon Soon—
Oh how it looms!
Rivaled only by Now
While Then cowers in the corner.
I wish to join it.
Snick flinch snick flinch snick flinch.
*Snick snick snick
Snick snick SNICK
SNICK snick SNICK
SNICK SNICK SNICK
SNICK
SNICK
SNICK*
Silence.
Sep 28, 2013
Sep 28, 2013 at 4:41 PM UTC
missing the time in between
what was won't will be sometimes often
didn't
easy to forget the reasonable logic
behind the now seemingly nonsensical choice
that left you in the current Yearn.
the sweetsour regret, softly ignored scratches
the polish and veneer of worn out synapses
a pleasantly blurred fastforward-lacquer
I skip the years like stones
pausing fingers on the page of a smile
turning my face away from the cracks
stepping blithely over the day your words carried false
licking the envelope on an argument
stamped To Forget.
I choose
instead.
to love the memory of You.
Jun 11, 2014
Jun 11, 2014 at 9:54 AM UTC
I am 21.
I am a female.
I am known as Kimmy
I like to shop
I like to smile and talk to strangers
I prefer to pick flowers than to pick fights
I forget things such as names and numbers dates and my car keys
I like to dance
I believe in angels and heaven
I like to live with no regret
I believe life is short and sweet
Living Uptight and Unhappy is not my style
I Prefer to live day to day
as hard as that might be
for iF i had it my way id like to fastforward my life
just to see where ill be
I love few trust not that many
yet have my reasons
I have a terrible relationship with my family
I have learned HOW not to be
thanks to my parents
I lived a life of much tension/pain/frusteration/abandonment/love/hate/negativity/and lonliness
from all of it despite it all
i would not change a thing
i am kimmy
as unsure as I feel
I know ill figure it out
I rise above the negativity
live for the moment
learn from every mistake made
apologize for my wrong doings and than some-
know right from wrong
and am overly free spirited
If I died tomorow.
I hope to rise above my uncertainty
and into the security of knowing exactly who I am and who I WAS
given the will to live and the drive to understand life for how it is intended
I am hoping to make this self discovery sooner than later.
Jun 20, 2010
Jun 20, 2010 at 9:39 PM UTC
Click-reverse-click-fastforward
Click, click, click, it's stuck
A voice if you'd call it that in tune with
one jerky movement
The poor girl trapped inside the box
seizes and dances with lightning
through her veins and water in her head
One rhythm, no expression
Just a dull 'eee-o-o-o-eee-o-o-eee'
Wake up, Jesus, please let me wake up
May 8, 2012
May 8, 2012 at 3:45 PM UTC
Politicians are those old cassette tapes, they still kind of work when you want to use them, though when you use them over and over again, they get worn out, start repeating the same old junk and their film starts spitting out and getting tangled. You try to push them back Into the tape hole to start making sound again , but all it is , is gibberish. And got to rewind to get to the parts you want. Then you always keep going past the parts you want. Or you fastforward over the good stuff. And get to the worst song of the cassette. Then we end up pitching out the tape because we realize how bad its gotten chewed up on the inside. And how the tape wasn't worth all that money in the first place.
Jan 22, 2016
Jan 22, 2016 at 12:28 AM UTC
you called me, rambled nonsense of love lost through the telephone before saying you'd only see me if I promise not to write about it
as if you've ever known a moment with me that didn't one day end up on paper
fastforward after dinner, we're in the Costco parking lot
and somehow I think, we're both still hungry
you ask me if my new tattoo has anything to do with the way you get naked before the door to your apartment drops shut behind us
I promise not everything I do, I do with you in mind
but it's a quarter to eight and we're in the backseat of your car
(and if I had a dollar for everytime we wound up here I wouldn't even have to write anymore)
I am crushed between seats that do not lean far enough forward, when you finally notice the music has stopped playing
this is the first time in four years you have ever seemed uneasy in the quiet
so I kiss you until your body relaxes
you have cried three times since you took your shirt off
you don't stop telling me you love me until suddenly
your hands are everywhere
and I have permission to write about tonight because obviously this means we are still in love
fastforward 24 hours
I'm back in your car after a stop to the pub and there's enough liqour in me to drown out my voice
we fall asleep holding hands while the heat blasts like a furnace ready to burn down this so well put together home
that's two nights in a row I have lost my way home and somehow found myself tangled up in ... well not really sheets, I guess
maybe just each others clothes?
alright skip ahead another day
you're asking if I'll see you and for the first time in four years my answer is no
we promise a rain check and then next day I'm drunk again and only think
about kissing you until I fall asleep sweaty and with a pulsing headache
I'm thinking about leaving my job so I'll have more time to admire the way you look with all this confidence
it's only with you that I will ever say no to getting high
because with you I already can't feel my face
and I guess you could say I love it
Jan 6, 2019
Jan 6, 2019 at 11:08 PM UTC
but with a liquor tongue & sober head
drafting and redrafting the words stuttering
on my teeth to keep you here
falling backwards on my *** will
prove nothing but that i’m not content
to be anything but in the table of contents
not a side character
in your favorite book
but god i can’t stop tripping
over air and chalked-up asphalt
am i first?
am i the only one? i growl
apologies & maybe’s
but honest to hell i am
filled with vice
glittering with ill-intent
dented craniums
punctured fists
bitten up pen caps
oh sure, you’re inked up pal
but those tattoos for the weak
aren’t going to lift any skirts
her lipstick ain’t gonna paint your mouth
for you
“rosebud”
hah
we walked with ghosts that one time
kicking trash, dodging dead squirrels, singing
punk rock---betting quarters & Arizona cans
to run fast against traffic
(this was back when) we wanted
to look for truths in picture books
and lies in the law
chubby fingers & a BIC stick pen
tracing imagined cartoon lives
our speech planned in bubbles
timestop: fastforward
snarling, “oh baby she’s a classic /
like a little black dress”
with opened siamese mouths /
rolled out tongue
fingerpainting bruises on skin
with pixie stick smudged thumbs
“she’s a faded moon /
but you’ll be faded soon”
between muffled dashboard speakers
streaming swears came the stillness
of carving numbers (each other’s
biography pages)
safety pins hinging on rawed knuckles
forever scarred visual bookmark
waiting for words to cause earthquakes
and fault lines in lungs
what was painted across the wall
in looped **** you’ cursive
timestop: graffiti
i fear the human condition
don’t look at me or i’ll shatter
a powder touch would ****
Feb 26, 2014
Feb 26, 2014 at 3:59 PM UTC
Do you hear the shadows shout?
Thats me trying to pour my heart out
And tell a story nobody has ever heard about
A rollercoaster with ups and downs
A relationship with smiles and frowns
The magic got me addicted
But too late I noticed
The risk was never worth it
A tragic accident
Had already happened
Leaving my heart sleeping in a casket
Damaged, with no way to be salvaged
Maybe I should have taken a course in braille
Cause love is blind
And no matter how hard I search
I never find
The answers I seek
To enable me to understand this chick
A foreign species
Is what this girl is to me
A mystery that was never solved
A code that was never hacked
Around you my world revolved
And I remember it really ******
When I figured
The three words
I loved to hear were a lie
I almost died
But I survived
And made it through alive
Then a few months later you apologized
Saying that things changed
And you'd like to try it again
But the pain had left resentment engrained
In my brain that almost drove me insane
And she who was my love became subject to my wrath
I lashed out and if I didnt say it before I'm sorry about that
Gave it time it went
And we considered each other friends
Or so I thought
Before I was aware of the feelings you caught
And you started talking about how you'd like to slit my throat
Along with those of whoever will be my wife and kids,
Then the crisis proceeded
When you sliced your wrists
With a compass
Trying to release
Whatever it was or still is
Killing you inside
Well fine then alright
Now that we've dropped off a load
And gone down the yellow brick road
Travelled along memory lane
Unravelling the past that was lost in our brains
In the hourglass drop the grains of sand
Lets fastforward to that which is at hand
Youre becoming someone I used to know cause we aren't talking
You're ignoring me and your friends who remind you of me
Trying to convince yourself that you dont really need me
And It's 2A.M. in the morning
Here I am awake and writing this poem
To once and for all rid myself of thoughts of you
If this doesnt work what will I do
Cause I know one thing's for sure that's that we're through
My aim is to mend all the issues
That I developed from you
And resurrect my heart, finally put it back to use.
Nov 23, 2014
Nov 23, 2014 at 5:55 PM UTC
empty notebooks
waiting to bare the weight of thoughts
sunsets
i lay parellel with the horizon
shifting positions
as the dawn fades to black and blue
where stars divide two worlds with a milky line
where are you tonight
pause
were in fastforward
im feeling ill
the life I lead is passing by me
although I am standing still
pause tomorrow
pause today
pause this moment
darling stay
laughter fills in the gaps
of silence that was left
wrinkled quits keep company
in the space beside my head
where a soul once lingered beneath the sheets
is nothing but a fond memory
Jun 5, 2013
Jun 5, 2013 at 12:09 AM UTC
We met with total innocence
Not an action between us begging repentance
I didn't know emotionally we'd grow and delve
I mean after all we were only 12
We first exchanged names and spoke of her body
This was all in the times when your girl was "Shawty"
I did not speak for months at a time
And then ran right back as if all was fine
But deep in that girl was a burning fire
Not innocent or naive she had a woman's desire
When we first truly touched there was nothing amiss
I first felt her lips with that slow gentle kiss
I knew in that moment that she'd touched me deep
This could be the first girl to know the way I used to weep
Fastforward a year and it looked like we'd never mend
That girl wouldn't give up and I just wanted it all to end
A deep dark place held me so very tight
A large black shadow blocked out all of Earth's light
And that shadow stays
So I've found a method to be happy without the Earth's rays
I've found sunlight elsewhere in that same girl
I'm still begging every day to get one more whirl
So I'll wait and I'll wait for her wall's gates to divide
And I'll keep myself right here by her side
I know not what comes tomorrow, or tonight, or in the end
All I know for sure is I'm in love with my best friend.
Aug 26, 2014
Aug 26, 2014 at 12:33 AM UTC
If I could rewind time-
I would go back and fix my life.
I'd make good choices.
I'd make sure they were wise.
I'd go back to the beginning.
I'd go back to the start.
I'd go back and find a way to keep my life from falling apart.
I'd block certain people out.
And let others in.
I'd erase all thoughts of wanting my life to end.
If I could fastforward time-
I'd find out what will become of my life.
I'd find out all the mistakes I would make.
I'd find out all the risks I would take.
I'd find out all the stupid **** I would do.
I'd find out if I would ever have to courage to tell you **** you.
I'd find out a was to avoid all the problems I would have to face.
I'd find out what I would have to deal with day after day.
But for now I have to live in the present-
I have to deal with all the constant surprise.
I have to deal with all the lies.
I have to deal with all the crap.
I have to realize that I may never get my life back.
I have to carry on day after day.
Even though all I want to do is run away.
Apr 9, 2012
Apr 9, 2012 at 7:20 PM UTC
My heart is racing as swift as my mind
As rapid as the seconds passing the time
I just need to pause; Petrified to rewind
I'm stuck in fastforward; A victim confined
You sell your soul from the moment you sign
Written in blood, you can never resign
In the finest of prints, you read every line
You knew what to say, but who could decline
A euphoria greater than words can define
A shiver that tingles clear up your spine
My mind is putting in overtime
I need to think straight; Toe the line
Take the steps to make the climb
But all I hear is "just one more time"
Mar 27, 2014
Mar 27, 2014 at 3:22 AM UTC
*Life is going
Way too fast
What if I'm not ready
To give up the past?
Time is seemingly
Prying it from my hands
And leaving me with memories
Of bright green grass
Sugar soaked smiles
Candy coated days
Now everything's dull
Dismal and gray*
May 26, 2015
May 26, 2015 at 10:52 AM UTC
I tried to stop the tears from falling
To hid the wounds we once tried to pause from repeating
Kinda like our lost pitty hug
I could still feel the empty embrace choking me for no reason
It was still a yesterday in my mind but a tomorrow for you
I wanted rewind but the buttons of the past no longer exist
I still live the dark days of the dark places where i got trapped
I wanted a fastforward out of this beautiful tragic movie
A happy ending would have been great
A sorry goodbye for an ending would have been fine too
But all i got was just lost clues of how an ending could be played forever in a painfull way as if it was just a background outside the real view
Now i have thought of this through and through
It just ended like....
It never really even started at all
Sep 29, 2016
Sep 29, 2016 at 11:28 AM UTC