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"extremely" poems
Out here there are no hearthstones, Hot grains, simply. It is dry, dry. And the air dangerous. Noonday acts queerly On the mind's eye erecting a line Of poplars in the middle distance, the only Object beside the mad, straight road One can remember men and houses by. A cool wind should inhabit these leaves And a dew collect on them, dearer than money, In the blue hour before sunup. Yet they recede, untouchable as tomorrow, Or those glittery fictions of spilt water That glide ahead of the very thirsty. I think of the lizards airing their tongues In the crevice of an extremely small shadow And the toad guarding his heart's droplet. The desert is white as a blind man's eye, Comfortless as salt. Snake and bird Doze behind the old maskss of fury. We swelter like firedogs in the wind. The sun puts its cinder out. Where we lie The heat-cracked crickets congregate In their black armorplate and cry. The day-moon lights up like a sorry mother, And the crickets come creeping into our hair To fiddle the short night away.
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30.8k
Sleep In The Mojave Desert
You see my brown skin And assume I'm a **** You see my hijab And assume I'm a terrorist. You see the smile on my face And assume I'm happy. You hear my words And assume I'm okay. But I am not. Instead I am broken. Yet I am also strong. I am dark and rule-following. I am peaceful and Muslim. You assume based on Society's POV. If you smile You must be happy. Fox, CNN, any media Tells you I am a terrorist. So the names I get called And the extra security checks Are extremely upsetting. The murders of black folk Is either considered appropriate Or it's "black on black crime" So it's not taken seriously. Who are you gonna believe Me or those who don't know me?
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Mar 26, 2018
Mar 26, 2018 at 7:34 PM UTC
Assumptions
My Bipolar Disorder is a stout-bodied mammal with horns and cloven hooves. There are two types of My Bipolar Disorder: Domestic, and Mountain. My Bipolar disorder typically spends its days grazing on grasses My Bipolar Disorder will dig depressions in the ground to sleep, rest, and bathe in. My Bipolar disorder is super social during the winter, and tends to go solo during the summer. My Bipolar Disorders tail usually points up! (Unless it is frightened or sick) My Bipolar Disorder is extremely Curious and Intelligent. Once My bipolar disorder has discovered a weakness in its fence, it will exploit it repeatedly. There are over 300 distinct breeds of My Bipolar Disorder. Within' minutes of being born, my Bipolar Disorder is up and walking around. My bipolar disorder used to live in the white house with Abraham Lincoln. One day an ethiopian Herder walked in on My Bipolar Disorder liteally bouncing off of cliff walls because it just Discovered Coffee. My Bipolar Disorder has four stomachs The horns of My Bipolar Disorder are typically removed to reduce injury to humans. My Bipolar disorder will explore anything new or unfamiliar in its surroundings, mainly with its mouth and tongue. My bipolar disorder readily reverts to the wild if given the opportunity. My Bipolar Disorder is more susceptible to Parasites and other infectious diseases when it is mismanaged. My bipolar disorder has had a lingering connection with Satanism and pagan religions My Bipolar Disorder is considered a "clean" animal by jewish dietary laws. According to Zeus As long as you leave it's bones whole, My Bipolar disorder will keep coming back to life.
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May 9, 2016
May 9, 2016 at 1:19 PM UTC
My Bipolar Disorder
My Bipolar Disorder is a stout-bodied mammal with horns and cloven hooves. There are two types of My Bipolar Disorder: Domestic, and Mountain. My Bipolar disorder typically spends its days grazing on grasses My Bipolar Disorder will dig depressions in the ground to sleep, rest, and bathe in. My Bipolar disorder is super social during the winter, and tends to go solo during the summer. My Bipolar Disorders tail usually points up! (Unless it is frightened or sick) My Bipolar Disorder is extremely Curious and Intelligent. Once My bipolar disorder has discovered a weakness in its fence, it will exploit it repeatedly. There are over 300 distinct breeds of My Bipolar Disorder. Within' minutes of being born, my Bipolar Disorder is up and walking around. My bipolar disorder used to live in the white house with Abraham Lincoln. One day an ethiopian Herder walked in on My Bipolar Disorder liteally bouncing off of cliff walls because it just Discovered Coffee. My Bipolar Disorder has four stomachs The horns of My Bipolar Disorder are typically removed to reduce injury to humans. My Bipolar disorder will explore anything new or unfamiliar in its surroundings, mainly with its mouth and tongue. My bipolar disorder readily reverts to the wild if given the opportunity. My Bipolar Disorder is more susceptible to Parasites and other infectious diseases when it is mismanaged. My bipolar disorder has had a lingering connection with Satanism and pagan religions My Bipolar Disorder is considered a "clean" animal by jewish dietary laws. According to Zeus As long as you leave it's bones whole, My Bipolar disorder will keep coming back to life.
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23
I have a dream & some desires, Let there be contentment for me, And no one should have for me, ire. My list of desires isn't endless, I actually require, not just need, her, And for meeting her family's, particularly her father's, expectations. When I'll have her in the delivery room, Then I will just be praying to time, And wishing our combined life to be peacefully happy and content extremely.
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Oct 16, 2014
Oct 16, 2014 at 12:36 PM UTC
Dream & Desires
As i walk down the hall many people i see Different lives are lived so different are we from each other She's happy, he's mad That kid is suicidal we no not of others peoples life yet we think we do what good does someone else's life do to yours we are all different with different lives He has tattoos she is well dressed one might be extremely nice while the other gossips of her friends Again what does someone else life have to do with yours is your life not exciting enough that you must talk of someone else's If so what a sorry life you must live.
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Sep 6, 2014
Sep 6, 2014 at 12:52 PM UTC
Judging
A hairy ball of energy Who loves to run and play, Whose tricks and tomfoolery Would brighten any day. Almost hyperactive, Without doubt lively, Incredibly inquisitive, Exploring constantly. Chewing on everything, Peeing everywhere, Not fond of house training but slowly getting there. Extremely mischievous, Just wants to have fun, Loves to get pets from us, Each and everyone. Yapping so excitedly At everyone and everything, Such an incredibly funny Lovable little thing. Who looks at us imploringly With great big brown eyes That we fell in love totally Should come as no surprise This lovely little puppy Right from the start Became one of the family, Captured every ones heart.
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Apr 10, 2015
Apr 10, 2015 at 3:46 AM UTC
Puppy Love
LGBT. You may have never heard of this acronym before, Or maybe you associate it with liberals, or Obama, Or hippies. LGBT stands for: Lesbian: I was approached by a straight man At a gay bar, who asked me if I wanted to 'have a good time'. I told him no. I could see something in his eyes Flicker, and he asked me why I told him I only liked women In that regard He stood up angrily, And told me that I was an Ugly d*ke anyway. LGBT stands for Gay: I was holding hands with My boyfriend while We were walking in the park. We watched an older woman Walk up to us and say, "You're going to hell." I said, "I'll see you there," She glared at me before Storming off in a rage, mumbling, "Disgusting f*g." On her way. LGBT stands for Bisexual: I came out to my family today. My cousin said, "You're just confused." My father said, "Don't you dare walk in My house with a f*ggot." My mother said, "Pick a side." My supposed "friends" said, "You're just desperate and greedy." I've been dating an amazing person That I can never share if I want to Stay on good terms with "family". LGBT stands for Transgender: I binded my chest today With Ace bandages even though I know it's extremely unsafe Because I didn't want to be Seen as a girl again. I finally cut my own hair And when I told my mom why She told me, "Leave before your father gets home." I am sleeping on my friend's couch tonight Because my parents couldn't accept me As their son. You might associate the acronym LGBT With liberals. Liberals that don't use their religion as an Excuse when they're really just scared. Or Obama who said, "No one in America Should be scared to walk down the street Holding the hand of the person they love." Or hippies who refuse to conform to Heteronormativity, because it only matters That you love, the who or when or where or why or How Doesn't matter nearly as much. People are more than their secondary *** Characteristics. "Love thy neighbor as thyself", right?
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Apr 4, 2019
Apr 4, 2019 at 10:02 PM UTC
LGBT (Slam Poem #2)
LGBT. You may have never heard of this acronym before, Or maybe you associate it with liberals, or Obama, Or hippies. LGBT stands for: Lesbian: I was approached by a straight man At a gay bar, who asked me if I wanted to 'have a good time'. I told him no. I could see something in his eyes Flicker, and he asked me why I told him I only liked women In that regard He stood up angrily, And told me that I was an Ugly d*ke anyway. LGBT stands for Gay: I was holding hands with My boyfriend while We were walking in the park. We watched an older woman Walk up to us and say, "You're going to hell." I said, "I'll see you there," She glared at me before Storming off in a rage, mumbling, "Disgusting f*g." On her way. LGBT stands for Bisexual: I came out to my family today. My cousin said, "You're just confused." My father said, "Don't you dare walk in My house with a f*ggot." My mother said, "Pick a side." My supposed "friends" said, "You're just desperate and greedy." I've been dating an amazing person That I can never share if I want to Stay on good terms with "family". LGBT stands for Transgender: I binded my chest today With Ace bandages even though I know it's extremely unsafe Because I didn't want to be Seen as a girl again. I finally cut my own hair And when I told my mom why She told me, "Leave before your father gets home." I am sleeping on my friend's couch tonight Because my parents couldn't accept me As their son. You might associate the acronym LGBT With liberals. Liberals that don't use their religion as an Excuse when they're really just scared. Or Obama who said, "No one in America Should be scared to walk down the street Holding the hand of the person they love." Or hippies who refuse to conform to Heteronormativity, because it only matters That you love, the who or when or where or why or How Doesn't matter nearly as much. People are more than their secondary *** Characteristics. "Love thy neighbor as thyself", right?
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74
We can't go backwards But if we could it would be To that very night Holding each other Time standing still And a blissful, Extremely tender Loving innocence Surrounding us No passion Just simple love Where a simple touch Can sing a hundred songs
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Oct 13, 2014
Oct 13, 2014 at 11:19 PM UTC
Simple Love
I have been doing a lot of work with my feelings lately. I have avoided them for most of my life because, well the bad ones outweigh the good ones. The rest of them were f@#ked or beaten out of me. I have always believed that my feelings only led to trouble and pain. A simple feeling stated as a child sent me tumbling down a rabbit hole of horrific pain. An innocent smile was interpreted to be nothing but filthy desire. A frown was nothing but blatant rebellion that had to be dealt with. My thinking is extremely black and white. Good or bad. Right or wrong. But what I'm learning is that feelings don't fall easily into any of those categories. The classifications that I have used to reason my life into some semblance of order do not work for feelings. So walking in this grey area is very difficult for me. I cannot make much sense of what I allow myself to feel and if I do, I get stuck. The detachment I have felt to my memories is slowly being bridged by the missing feelings. And that is terrifying. I have always been able to share, matter of factly, the details I have chosen to disclose. And I'm very afraid that those details were the easy ones; the ones I could disconnect from and push the feelings onto someone else. Remember those rabbit holes? When I find the feelings associated with that pain it's like falling down that hole bound, gagged, and blindfolded. My logic was my only means of control and I've lost it amongst the feelings. The only way to climb out of that hole? Literally feel my way out.
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Aug 9, 2014
Aug 9, 2014 at 5:36 PM UTC
Feelings
I have been doing a lot of work with my feelings lately. I have avoided them for most of my life because, well the bad ones outweigh the good ones. The rest of them were f@#ked or beaten out of me. I have always believed that my feelings only led to trouble and pain. A simple feeling stated as a child sent me tumbling down a rabbit hole of horrific pain. An innocent smile was interpreted to be nothing but filthy desire. A frown was nothing but blatant rebellion that had to be dealt with. My thinking is extremely black and white. Good or bad. Right or wrong. But what I'm learning is that feelings don't fall easily into any of those categories. The classifications that I have used to reason my life into some semblance of order do not work for feelings. So walking in this grey area is very difficult for me. I cannot make much sense of what I allow myself to feel and if I do, I get stuck. The detachment I have felt to my memories is slowly being bridged by the missing feelings. And that is terrifying. I have always been able to share, matter of factly, the details I have chosen to disclose. And I'm very afraid that those details were the easy ones; the ones I could disconnect from and push the feelings onto someone else. Remember those rabbit holes? When I find the feelings associated with that pain it's like falling down that hole bound, gagged, and blindfolded. My logic was my only means of control and I've lost it amongst the feelings. The only way to climb out of that hole? Literally feel my way out.
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8
Things can only disrupt you as much as you allow. If this seems hard to see or needlessly abstract, consider the Factor that is Self-Discipline: If any factor equals Zero, the product is also Zero. - I mean this in a general sense; applied over time. Things can be extremely bothersome in any given moment but once those bothersome moments reach forwards (and maybe even backwards) in time ******* up a perfect good "Now" then, I say that it's a bothersome burden which is (most probably) a result of unresolved internalized conflicts or Shadow. This is where Self-Discipline becomes a Factor and my analogy takes flight, in context. Maybe it's only true for me, but I have my suspicions that I am not so unique in this way.
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May 30, 2013
May 30, 2013 at 9:42 PM UTC
Self-Discipline as a Factor
#STICK’EM UP with LIQUID NAILS DANGER ! EXTREMELY FLAMMABLE         See Other Caution on Back Panel: I’m hot for you Cowgirl – you’re so flammable my glue-gun starts to melt; my screwdriver starts twisting when you loosen that low-slung belt. You make me feel like laying re-bar in a freshly-poured foundation. Shoot me up with that caulk gun baby – I need you like salvation. Ten and one-half fluid ounces – pull off your top, pop a love-cap in me. Fingerin’ your trigger while the job is gettin’ bigger so take me for a ride to the hardware store, honey, cause I’m seeing red and feeling white on your golden background’s sheer delight.  Hammer me a heart-full, spike me on a cross of blonde, I’m hanging ten, surfing the tube of your magic wand. I’ve been in love ever since I first waterproofed my seamy undersides with you… stand over me in those red, red boots, you Liquid Nails Girl – and from your pure white Stetson let righteousness unfurl. You won the shoot-out long before you even drew, my dear. Lost hope of the Wild West, Final Frontal Feminine Frontier – there’s only one side of you…  your GOOD side.  Just one look and your fearless gaze silences the foes, my blooming prairie rose. YEE – HAW !  Be my angel, be my dream, my valentine rodeo queen, be my bodyguard, my therapist, long & tall & hard & wet – be my Liquid Nails Girl forever and I’ll ride right into your sunset…
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Sep 10, 2015
Sep 10, 2015 at 9:28 PM UTC
Owed to a Caulk Gun
It is so real to me. I see it's harmless name everywhere, and it looks so innocent off of the context of your skin. It haunts me where ever it is or whatever state it is in, and it is so shadowed to me. But also extremely real, and vivid. So chilling, but it also sets me to fire. I see other harmless names and I am foreign to the lands of those graves. I am glad, but I hate that this stands out to me. I am walking the path of the graveyard, and will I fall in to my likely grave? Or will I break off onto the swept path? I will not know, but I am passing the graves of others who have succumb to the rough grips of these names. And on these graves there are things written, telling what pushed and buried them in these graves. And I see many empty graves and blank headstones ahead. I know that mine may be waiting for me, and self harm is pushing me along the path to it. Still, I am pushing back and I will ***** the swept path with my muddy feet. And once I am there I will run far away and never let myself be pushed again. I will not be buried in the dirt of self harm.
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Mar 25, 2014
Mar 25, 2014 at 2:29 PM UTC
Self Harm
To my beloved father who's no longer with us; I wish you were here to see me now. I'm the little girl in a grown up body who grew up to be a woman you can be proud of. I miss you dearly my beloved father who gets half of the credit for my being on this earth. I've a great appreciation of your patient and learned words; I followed in your foot steps. Feel blue at times because you left before I had the chance to tell you how much I love you. We both know you're looking down and rooting for me as I experience parenting first hand. I know your job wasn't easy and I understood when you said no; it was with good reason. But that little girl in me often wishes you were still here for that occasional heart to heart. Miss you and always be grateful and never forget what you taught through great example. Never "ever" saying, "Do as I say kid, but turn blind eyes away from Dad's bad actions". I'll always be thankful for you showing me integrity in words that mirrored your actions. I'm grateful you allowed me to make mistakes and gently guided me with your wisdom. From you I learned; No matter how much life pushes you to extremes, you keep fighting. From you I learned; Love and respect of life even when faced with hate born from illogic. From you I learned; Love self enough to set free all that damages physically & emotionally. From you I learned; To proudly stand alone when necessary, never to cower; face my fears. Though your life on this planet was cut short, what you taught will last infinite life times. You were the kind of dad everyone loved and admired; you brought joy by your presence. There are so many things I vividly remember about you and shared with my own children You worked extremely hard to provide for us and showed Nothing worthwhile is ever easy Happy Father's Day 2013 to my beloved father and all dads every where!
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Jun 16, 2013
Jun 16, 2013 at 8:39 AM UTC
To My Beloved Dad
To my beloved father who's no longer with us; I wish you were here to see me now. I'm the little girl in a grown up body who grew up to be a woman you can be proud of. I miss you dearly my beloved father who gets half of the credit for my being on this earth. I've a great appreciation of your patient and learned words; I followed in your foot steps. Feel blue at times because you left before I had the chance to tell you how much I love you. We both know you're looking down and rooting for me as I experience parenting first hand. I know your job wasn't easy and I understood when you said no; it was with good reason. But that little girl in me often wishes you were still here for that occasional heart to heart. Miss you and always be grateful and never forget what you taught through great example. Never "ever" saying, "Do as I say kid, but turn blind eyes away from Dad's bad actions". I'll always be thankful for you showing me integrity in words that mirrored your actions. I'm grateful you allowed me to make mistakes and gently guided me with your wisdom. From you I learned; No matter how much life pushes you to extremes, you keep fighting. From you I learned; Love and respect of life even when faced with hate born from illogic. From you I learned; Love self enough to set free all that damages physically & emotionally. From you I learned; To proudly stand alone when necessary, never to cower; face my fears. Though your life on this planet was cut short, what you taught will last infinite life times. You were the kind of dad everyone loved and admired; you brought joy by your presence. There are so many things I vividly remember about you and shared with my own children You worked extremely hard to provide for us and showed Nothing worthwhile is ever easy Happy Father's Day 2013 to my beloved father and all dads every where!
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22
You're like a rose blossoming into a beautiful flower. One I could look at for hours. You're like a star high lighting the sky. You a good man love surprise. You're extremely wonderful. You're extremely charming. You are worthy of adoration. Yes, you are. I'm fond of you. Proud to call you, my adorable you. If I'm loving you too much. Then it be up to you to leave. I refuse to love you less. Cause you been the best thing to happen to me. Yes you. And I forever call you, my adorable you. This I will confess. As long as I have breath. I'm going to go out of my way to please you. Call me love sick. Call me silly. I just don't care. You deserve more. To me. You're a good example of love.
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Nov 3, 2012
Nov 3, 2012 at 10:01 PM UTC
Adorable You
Thank you Eric for being my friend. YOu Have taught me how it feels to be Have Real Love, how it feels to have someone there for you when you need them the most !you're taught me to love Jesus you taught me that people are all different and unique in their own ways and it's okay to love them just the way they are with no judgement. you've also taught me that being in love means you have to think about the other person before you think about yourself! *for example you think about the things that you're lover wants and you get them those things. for you thinking about what they want Makes you happy you tell me that people struggle but having people that trust you is very important because without having trust without having the ability to believe in someone fully you are nothing you're not worth anything and you are worthless as a person you have to actually give your word and have it mean something in order for you to completely give yourself to the other person I trust you with my life you are my best friend you never give up on me . you never stay mad at me. I know it's because you have Jesus! you are the reason I have more faith! The reason I seek the Lord if it wasn't for you I probably would be dead!!! I have heard so many things about people saying that you are crazy maniac and that you would **** me in a heartbeat You might hurt me but you have never done that besides the words verbal abase. But that's yours only defense Against Me because that's your only way of hurting me and you know that it does that exactly you. But most the time I do deserve it Cuz im not the easiest person sometimes im stubborn and selfish and rude and ****** And you put up with until you can't anymore then You (Man handle the situation and put me in my place ("slap in the face") ** IM IN A REALITY CHECK . I say sorry Eric the amazing Your so extremely amazing, caring, selfless, worthy You are a Angel that is Heaven sent a gift from God you are a perfect example of what God meant when he said he would find me someone that would teach me how to be a better person. if I wanted to be that better person grab hold and stop messing around Sto running. I want to be a better person you make me a better person! I honestly am glad to call you my friend, my best friend, my lover, the love of my life and my guardian angel you might not ever read this but least I got it out in the open no lies just me telling it like it is!
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Jun 30, 2017
Jun 30, 2017 at 4:22 PM UTC
To my favorite person
Thank you Eric for being my friend. YOu Have taught me how it feels to be Have Real Love, how it feels to have someone there for you when you need them the most !you're taught me to love Jesus you taught me that people are all different and unique in their own ways and it's okay to love them just the way they are with no judgement. you've also taught me that being in love means you have to think about the other person before you think about yourself! *for example you think about the things that you're lover wants and you get them those things. for you thinking about what they want Makes you happy you tell me that people struggle but having people that trust you is very important because without having trust without having the ability to believe in someone fully you are nothing you're not worth anything and you are worthless as a person you have to actually give your word and have it mean something in order for you to completely give yourself to the other person I trust you with my life you are my best friend you never give up on me . you never stay mad at me. I know it's because you have Jesus! you are the reason I have more faith! The reason I seek the Lord if it wasn't for you I probably would be dead!!! I have heard so many things about people saying that you are crazy maniac and that you would **** me in a heartbeat You might hurt me but you have never done that besides the words verbal abase. But that's yours only defense Against Me because that's your only way of hurting me and you know that it does that exactly you. But most the time I do deserve it Cuz im not the easiest person sometimes im stubborn and selfish and rude and ****** And you put up with until you can't anymore then You (Man handle the situation and put me in my place ("slap in the face") ** IM IN A REALITY CHECK . I say sorry Eric the amazing Your so extremely amazing, caring, selfless, worthy You are a Angel that is Heaven sent a gift from God you are a perfect example of what God meant when he said he would find me someone that would teach me how to be a better person. if I wanted to be that better person grab hold and stop messing around Sto running. I want to be a better person you make me a better person! I honestly am glad to call you my friend, my best friend, my lover, the love of my life and my guardian angel you might not ever read this but least I got it out in the open no lies just me telling it like it is!
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27
I’m Biracial. Which did you notice first? The me that looks like you or the me that looks like other? There is no denying what I am— from my last name to the shape of eyes, you’ll know I’m not white. But you’ll also immediately notice I’m not quite not white. I’m not quite not white enough. White-passing. “extremely” white passing until: someone sees my last name takes longer than five seconds to look at me notices something “other” about me. Other... not one box to check on your “optional” choose one diversity survey Can’t check White. Can’t check Asian. other...“Decline to Answer” I’m Biracial. White-passing— but not enough to stop ignorance ignorance in the form of questions and comments meant to be “harmless” or “curious” but ones that strip me of defining my own identity “So are you a math Asian or a **** Asian?” “You don’t look Asian enough for your last name.” “Why are you trying to whitewash yourself for them?” “Diversity quota” And in comparison, those aren’t the worst things to hear. By age ten I knew which words were meant to hurt and which were meant out of ignorance. Which racial slur applied to me. I’m Biracial. The same system that builds up half of me tears down the other half. But— The model minority myth means something to you. So you’ll build my other half up at the expense of someone else. You’ll make me feel uncomfortable in my own identity to fit what you need in the circumstances Statistics to fit your workplace diversity quota But still white passing so you can use micro aggressions as a joke because I’m “white enough” that they should be funny. I’m Biracial. Not other. Not part you and part not you. Not “missing” something. I am wholly biracial.
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Feb 4, 2019
Feb 4, 2019 at 4:50 AM UTC
Enough of What?
I’m Biracial. Which did you notice first? The me that looks like you or the me that looks like other? There is no denying what I am— from my last name to the shape of eyes, you’ll know I’m not white. But you’ll also immediately notice I’m not quite not white. I’m not quite not white enough. White-passing. “extremely” white passing until: someone sees my last name takes longer than five seconds to look at me notices something “other” about me. Other... not one box to check on your “optional” choose one diversity survey Can’t check White. Can’t check Asian. other...“Decline to Answer” I’m Biracial. White-passing— but not enough to stop ignorance ignorance in the form of questions and comments meant to be “harmless” or “curious” but ones that strip me of defining my own identity “So are you a math Asian or a **** Asian?” “You don’t look Asian enough for your last name.” “Why are you trying to whitewash yourself for them?” “Diversity quota” And in comparison, those aren’t the worst things to hear. By age ten I knew which words were meant to hurt and which were meant out of ignorance. Which racial slur applied to me. I’m Biracial. The same system that builds up half of me tears down the other half. But— The model minority myth means something to you. So you’ll build my other half up at the expense of someone else. You’ll make me feel uncomfortable in my own identity to fit what you need in the circumstances Statistics to fit your workplace diversity quota But still white passing so you can use micro aggressions as a joke because I’m “white enough” that they should be funny. I’m Biracial. Not other. Not part you and part not you. Not “missing” something. I am wholly biracial.
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46
I am tired, really tired... I am tired of my talents not being recognized I am tired of constantly proving myself I am tired of being disabled I am so tired... Tired of not belonging Tired of being invisible Tired of being worthless I am very, very tired... I am tired of exchanging fake smiles I am tired of meaningless conversations I am tired of appearing dumb so as to get help I am just tired... Tired of being useless Tired of failing Tired of not dreaming I am extremely tired... I am tired of being apologetic I am tired of being left out I am tired of being ugly What I am I saying? What am I really tired of? Why am I tired? I am tired... Tired of being speechless Tired of being powerless Tired of being afraid In fact, I am broken down... Broken down by being black Broken down by being African Broken down by being primitive
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Mar 12, 2016
Mar 12, 2016 at 11:30 PM UTC
I AM TIRED
I met with a man today, although not so much a man as…. a boyish adult. He told me he liked me, or perhaps “loved” would be a better description. I was showered with things that most people would love to hear constantly: Compliments. I…..am not one of those people. Now, that’s just the oversimplified version. A more detailed explanation would go like this: I met with a man today, although not so much a man as… a boyish adult. We went out for lunch, and left there around five hours later. For the first three, we were doing all right. Managing to have pleasant conversation we even discussed our views on religion. The last two hours however I am not sure how I managed to endure. He told me he had "fallen in love with me", and that every word I spoke had him falling deeper. I explained that I have absolutely zero interest in any such things *(love, romance, all that jazz other people crave, you know how it is)* I however, am not capable of feeling those sorts of attractions. (don't want to be either) As I spoke, he would reply by saying he was falling harder... that I was pretty, handsome, cute, beautiful….etc. Not a word of what I said went into his head. ***And I knew it from the expression on his face, that I was only being viewed as something to conquer. To…..”fix”.*** That made the compliments even worse. ***I hate compliments to begin with, at least ones in regards to my appearance. For me, they are one of the worst triggers on my extremely long list. So is being treated like I’m broken.***
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Sep 13, 2015
Sep 13, 2015 at 3:20 AM UTC
Accidentally made a guy fall for me...
I met with a man today, although not so much a man as…. a boyish adult. He told me he liked me, or perhaps “loved” would be a better description. I was showered with things that most people would love to hear constantly: Compliments. I…..am not one of those people. Now, that’s just the oversimplified version. A more detailed explanation would go like this: I met with a man today, although not so much a man as… a boyish adult. We went out for lunch, and left there around five hours later. For the first three, we were doing all right. Managing to have pleasant conversation we even discussed our views on religion. The last two hours however I am not sure how I managed to endure. He told me he had "fallen in love with me", and that every word I spoke had him falling deeper. I explained that I have absolutely zero interest in any such things *(love, romance, all that jazz other people crave, you know how it is)* I however, am not capable of feeling those sorts of attractions. (don't want to be either) As I spoke, he would reply by saying he was falling harder... that I was pretty, handsome, cute, beautiful….etc. Not a word of what I said went into his head. ***And I knew it from the expression on his face, that I was only being viewed as something to conquer. To…..”fix”.*** That made the compliments even worse. ***I hate compliments to begin with, at least ones in regards to my appearance. For me, they are one of the worst triggers on my extremely long list. So is being treated like I’m broken.***
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45
I'm numb Everything around me doesn't feel real Everyone around me doesn't feel real I'm so extremely exhausted of everything that I have no clue how much longer I can take It's hard to believe that "It gets better" I'm numb I'm tired I just want to be gone -te
0
Jan 23, 2015
Jan 23, 2015 at 10:42 PM UTC
Numb
I am a controlling boyfriend. No, I am not a male, nor do I have a girlfriend to abuse. But I am the crazy stalker controlling boyfriend. I have realized something in myself: I am free with my boy and his casual flirtations, but am extremely jealous and possessive of my girls, when I have one. Or even in my present case of not having one, I want to possess her as she has possessed me. I want all your time, all your thoughts, as you inhabit mine. “How do you handle the jealousy??" It's funny, I don't get jealous when I have both partners in my bed, or in my arms. That is when I’m most content. I get jealous when outsiders are flirtatious or show interest. It's also funny, I'm more annoyed when people flirt with him thinking he’s unattached. I don't get it either; just a quirk of mine. Perhaps my nonchalance with my boy is merely grown out of our time together. In nearly seven years, not one has managed to create a rift. Those who have tried have failed, and he and I have come out the better. Patience is a virtue I do not possess, and the longer I go on incomplete... mayhap my own fears make me dig my claws into a new potential. Fear that someone else will charm such a rare unicorn away from me/us, and we’ll be left again, searching. Nor is this a new feeling, for this young woman. A year ago, I felt the same overwhelming possessiveness. Then again, it would not do to compare the two; they are two different people, who hold different qualities. The bitter jealousy I now project I have tasted before. The shock that I’ve become my own controlling high school boyfriend fills me with disgust. Unbeknownst to her, I imagine her not only in my bed, in my arms, in my life… but also on my knee. I’ve never before considered someone as both lover and submissive. Unbeknownst to me, would that make my jealousy grow or fade, were I to possess her in every way I’ve imagined? Obviously I have some things to work on. Firstly, finding our unicorn.
0
Nov 14, 2012
Nov 14, 2012 at 1:46 PM UTC
Reflections of Myself v. 2.0
I am a controlling boyfriend. No, I am not a male, nor do I have a girlfriend to abuse. But I am the crazy stalker controlling boyfriend. I have realized something in myself: I am free with my boy and his casual flirtations, but am extremely jealous and possessive of my girls, when I have one. Or even in my present case of not having one, I want to possess her as she has possessed me. I want all your time, all your thoughts, as you inhabit mine. “How do you handle the jealousy??" It's funny, I don't get jealous when I have both partners in my bed, or in my arms. That is when I’m most content. I get jealous when outsiders are flirtatious or show interest. It's also funny, I'm more annoyed when people flirt with him thinking he’s unattached. I don't get it either; just a quirk of mine. Perhaps my nonchalance with my boy is merely grown out of our time together. In nearly seven years, not one has managed to create a rift. Those who have tried have failed, and he and I have come out the better. Patience is a virtue I do not possess, and the longer I go on incomplete... mayhap my own fears make me dig my claws into a new potential. Fear that someone else will charm such a rare unicorn away from me/us, and we’ll be left again, searching. Nor is this a new feeling, for this young woman. A year ago, I felt the same overwhelming possessiveness. Then again, it would not do to compare the two; they are two different people, who hold different qualities. The bitter jealousy I now project I have tasted before. The shock that I’ve become my own controlling high school boyfriend fills me with disgust. Unbeknownst to her, I imagine her not only in my bed, in my arms, in my life… but also on my knee. I’ve never before considered someone as both lover and submissive. Unbeknownst to me, would that make my jealousy grow or fade, were I to possess her in every way I’ve imagined? Obviously I have some things to work on. Firstly, finding our unicorn.
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16
You were like a natural disaster to our lives. While we played in a field. No warning. You appeared... You struck and we lay scattered on that field... In tears. Confused. In pain. Broken inside out. No longer just children. Victims to young to understand that we were forever changed. To young to understand why we felt ***** and guilty. The threats and fear, made us silent... Fear and interrogation made me lie. You left us in that open space forever, no matter where we went. And our lives were taken... Our parents were broken, because parents break when thier children are hurt. And my lie... My lie forever changed my protectors life. My fear made me hurt another. We were so young... Some not old enough for school. Our fear allowed the disaster to strike others... Now as adults we know a new guilt. But we were so young. This very unnatural disaster still walks the earth... Somebody gives this pervert comfort... But we are forever changed. Stronger today, yes... But never again as free as before he stole our innocence. This disaster turned our world upside down, and revisited us for years taking more of us each time he put his disgusting hands on us. I'm not to religious, but I believe in God. I have yet to know the reason for this, except that we are great protective parents... And as I believe there's a God... I know there is also a hell. And while God tells us to forgive... I have yet to forgive even myself for being so full of fear, because it allowed him to walk free and hurt us again and again, and others through time. There is no part of us sacred or untouched by that evil... No matter who knows our story, there's no person not even eachother who understands the depth of our individual torment. The unfair torture of feeling an isolated, unexplainable, personal  taste of evil. Like a natural disaster, he struck us down... Children at play made victims of a child molester. Survivor's! Of a sick family member's distgusting taste for extremely young children. We can't say we are ok. We refuse to say you are anything more then a creature that has not yet met God's wrath. And dare not say, you to know abuse... Dare not say you found God... God and abuse will find you when your six feet under. I know I sin as I write this... But to forgive... As a mother myself... Well that's it's not in me. Do unto others... Do unto others, that's how I live.
0
Sep 30, 2016
Sep 30, 2016 at 6:21 PM UTC
Unnatural Disaster
You were like a natural disaster to our lives. While we played in a field. No warning. You appeared... You struck and we lay scattered on that field... In tears. Confused. In pain. Broken inside out. No longer just children. Victims to young to understand that we were forever changed. To young to understand why we felt ***** and guilty. The threats and fear, made us silent... Fear and interrogation made me lie. You left us in that open space forever, no matter where we went. And our lives were taken... Our parents were broken, because parents break when thier children are hurt. And my lie... My lie forever changed my protectors life. My fear made me hurt another. We were so young... Some not old enough for school. Our fear allowed the disaster to strike others... Now as adults we know a new guilt. But we were so young. This very unnatural disaster still walks the earth... Somebody gives this pervert comfort... But we are forever changed. Stronger today, yes... But never again as free as before he stole our innocence. This disaster turned our world upside down, and revisited us for years taking more of us each time he put his disgusting hands on us. I'm not to religious, but I believe in God. I have yet to know the reason for this, except that we are great protective parents... And as I believe there's a God... I know there is also a hell. And while God tells us to forgive... I have yet to forgive even myself for being so full of fear, because it allowed him to walk free and hurt us again and again, and others through time. There is no part of us sacred or untouched by that evil... No matter who knows our story, there's no person not even eachother who understands the depth of our individual torment. The unfair torture of feeling an isolated, unexplainable, personal  taste of evil. Like a natural disaster, he struck us down... Children at play made victims of a child molester. Survivor's! Of a sick family member's distgusting taste for extremely young children. We can't say we are ok. We refuse to say you are anything more then a creature that has not yet met God's wrath. And dare not say, you to know abuse... Dare not say you found God... God and abuse will find you when your six feet under. I know I sin as I write this... But to forgive... As a mother myself... Well that's it's not in me. Do unto others... Do unto others, that's how I live.
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55
Peer pressure, peer pressure My name is peer pressure, My father is doubt, My mother is duress, My sister is bad choices, My brother is nervous energy I was born in a cyclone of negativity Whipping through an ocean of people They're the tribe of the unrest I know im extremely unwanted But im here anyways at all times Peer pressure, peer pressure Is my name No one is immune from me Neither the young, the teen nor the old I'm evil I wreak havoc and strife To the human race I ruin people's lives First, I offer illusions of enjoyment And pleasure to them Till when I take their greatest Treasure Till when I see them departing From all that is correct Till when No more goodness nor kindness Is detected from them Till when Their morals and goodness Have gone into decay Till when I see their senses sedated And all their energy depleted Till when I see them F   A     L       T        E          R           I          N        G Till when I see tears of regrets Turn into cries of despair Till when I see there is nobody They can turn unto Peer pressure, peer pressure Is my name Those who grant me to their lives, I make sure i become A silhouette of lies to their lives Till when They're always M-i-n-e Frozen in time Hopeless forever Till when I see them Completely gone astray Furthermore, Pile on the agony For that is pleasing To my father Satan B     E       N         E        A      T H Peer pressure, peer pressure Is my name "Alas!" Beware when making me your friend Because i might end up D      R        A        G      G        I           N                G You to self destruction.
0
Jun 24, 2015
Jun 24, 2015 at 6:13 AM UTC
Peer pressure, Peer pressure
Peer pressure, peer pressure My name is peer pressure, My father is doubt, My mother is duress, My sister is bad choices, My brother is nervous energy I was born in a cyclone of negativity Whipping through an ocean of people They're the tribe of the unrest I know im extremely unwanted But im here anyways at all times Peer pressure, peer pressure Is my name No one is immune from me Neither the young, the teen nor the old I'm evil I wreak havoc and strife To the human race I ruin people's lives First, I offer illusions of enjoyment And pleasure to them Till when I take their greatest Treasure Till when I see them departing From all that is correct Till when No more goodness nor kindness Is detected from them Till when Their morals and goodness Have gone into decay Till when I see their senses sedated And all their energy depleted Till when I see them F   A     L       T        E          R           I          N        G Till when I see tears of regrets Turn into cries of despair Till when I see there is nobody They can turn unto Peer pressure, peer pressure Is my name Those who grant me to their lives, I make sure i become A silhouette of lies to their lives Till when They're always M-i-n-e Frozen in time Hopeless forever Till when I see them Completely gone astray Furthermore, Pile on the agony For that is pleasing To my father Satan B     E       N         E        A      T H Peer pressure, peer pressure Is my name "Alas!" Beware when making me your friend Because i might end up D      R        A        G      G        I           N                G You to self destruction.
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91
the amount of melanin in my skin often seems to conjure up some controversy so when I sit down to write and I see my hands, my light skinned not quite black but surely not white hands I think about the privileges thrusted upon me and when I begin to write I feel my hair against my back, my curly ***** but not quite ***** hair I wonder how what's on my head could make what's in it so frazzled I often frustrate myself because I feel like my writing often centers around the fact that I am a woman and I am colored and the fact that when I say I'm colored some look lost in fact, in the film, for colored girls Thandie Newton's character says "being alive and being a woman is all I got, but being colored is a metaphysical dilemma I haven't conquered yet." and I found it frightening how relatable that was to me, being that I'm not quite almost a woman and not quite almost colored but when I look at my poems they reflect that I indeed am even though I'm lightskinned and I'm 16 and according to my white friends I'm, just like them because, as I've discovered our definitions of what a black girl sounds like and acts like and is like are extremely different and I guess that reflects on who we've been introduced to I have cousins and aunts and grandmothers and sisters who represent what I believe emulate what a black woman is and these white kids see what the media feeds about how black women walk and talk and act and lack see when I picture a black woman I see beautiful smooth chocolate skin full lips round ******* wide hips and a smile as brilliant as her mind when these kids picture a black woman they see ***** hair dark undesirable skin soup cooler lips and a mind filled with ignorance and this is where my struggle begins But in every ethnic group there is good and bad and I am sick of black women only being associated with the bad the fact that when most non blacks think of what a black woman is, they imagine an unintelligible mindless sassy loud mouth is over whelming to me if you're skin isn't light enough or your behind isn't big enough you're only "pretty for a black girl" I not only want to raise but destroy all expectations society gives black women but I cannot do this alone because we are smart and we are beautiful we are troubled and we are strong and we are one once we stop tearing eachother down we can all be one and I'm not sure why god blessed black women with so much beauty or why I'm so blessed to be one or why he put this determination in me but I think I will recognize it the day the world recognizes how beautiful are we.
0
Dec 31, 2013
Dec 31, 2013 at 4:20 AM UTC
We are One (For Colored Girls)
the amount of melanin in my skin often seems to conjure up some controversy so when I sit down to write and I see my hands, my light skinned not quite black but surely not white hands I think about the privileges thrusted upon me and when I begin to write I feel my hair against my back, my curly ***** but not quite ***** hair I wonder how what's on my head could make what's in it so frazzled I often frustrate myself because I feel like my writing often centers around the fact that I am a woman and I am colored and the fact that when I say I'm colored some look lost in fact, in the film, for colored girls Thandie Newton's character says "being alive and being a woman is all I got, but being colored is a metaphysical dilemma I haven't conquered yet." and I found it frightening how relatable that was to me, being that I'm not quite almost a woman and not quite almost colored but when I look at my poems they reflect that I indeed am even though I'm lightskinned and I'm 16 and according to my white friends I'm, just like them because, as I've discovered our definitions of what a black girl sounds like and acts like and is like are extremely different and I guess that reflects on who we've been introduced to I have cousins and aunts and grandmothers and sisters who represent what I believe emulate what a black woman is and these white kids see what the media feeds about how black women walk and talk and act and lack see when I picture a black woman I see beautiful smooth chocolate skin full lips round ******* wide hips and a smile as brilliant as her mind when these kids picture a black woman they see ***** hair dark undesirable skin soup cooler lips and a mind filled with ignorance and this is where my struggle begins But in every ethnic group there is good and bad and I am sick of black women only being associated with the bad the fact that when most non blacks think of what a black woman is, they imagine an unintelligible mindless sassy loud mouth is over whelming to me if you're skin isn't light enough or your behind isn't big enough you're only "pretty for a black girl" I not only want to raise but destroy all expectations society gives black women but I cannot do this alone because we are smart and we are beautiful we are troubled and we are strong and we are one once we stop tearing eachother down we can all be one and I'm not sure why god blessed black women with so much beauty or why I'm so blessed to be one or why he put this determination in me but I think I will recognize it the day the world recognizes how beautiful are we.
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26
It's frosty outside. Just simple cold. Just standing in the grass almost make my hands froze. Here I am standing out in he Monday morning cold. It was just a few minutes ago. With you by myside. I was feeling Monday Morning warmth. If it wasn't for love. I wouldn't be outside. But you came up with this idea to take a walk. Cause you wanted to do something different. Listen if it wasn't for love. I know I wouldn't be here. Cause Monday morning cold will never be my best friend. Now, as for the Monday morning warmth. Which I extremely enjoyed. You just might get me to journey once more.
0
Nov 19, 2012
Nov 19, 2012 at 7:30 AM UTC
Monday Morning Cold, Monday Morning Warmth