hopeful-abecedarianWhisper

21 / Genderqueer / Clarksville, TN

Burning Tears by a Dying FireMy body feels / So cold— / Like firewood,

37

Feb 21

Don't you see how I worship you?“I don’t know if anyone could ever love me,” you say. / “Don’t you see how I worship you?” I scream with my thoughts, but you can’t hear me anyway. I debate, asking you, whispering in your ear. / Instead, I am silent, unsure of how to comfort you. I don’t want to tell you that I love you, not yet.

22

Sep 12, 2023

What I Wish Adults KnewI wish adults still understood what it was like to be our age because yes, I'm going through phases and relationships and change and I smell disgusting and I am going through depression and I am transgender and discovering what that means and learning what it means to be a person, something that some people never learn. I don't understand why the people who seem to care about me aren't the same people I want to visit constantly. I don't understand the concept of 'blood is thicker than water' when the full phrase is 'the blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb' and why adults use this to their advantage. It's not unhealthy to want to have a social life and go hang out with people all the time. These are the same adults that say I don't get out much and need to hang out with people more often on the occasion that I'm not doing anything. The same adults that have convinced me that I need to go to college and simultaneously have fifty-plus years of experience for a decent paying company to employ me. The same adults who have given me such a crippling anxiety and fear of the unknown that I've cried multiple times over homework thinking that not being able to understand quadratic equations will be my undoing, that there's no way I'm going to college now. I am so terrified to not go to college, yet I find myself unable to think of what exactly I want to do. Rather than letting me figure it out eventually, I am being rushed into roles that I don't even understand yet. I am being scared shitless over things that I don't need to worry about for years. I am being convinced not to legally change my name until after college because otherwise my boomer aunt and uncle won't pay my college funds. It feels like I'm being forced back into the closet, forced into a career that I may or may not enjoy doing for the rest of my life, forced into both solitude and society according to my parent's terms, forced into something I don't understand. This is not consensual. This is far from okay.

1

Nov 26, 2019

IncomprehensionI don't understand how someone so strong / Could think they are so weak / When they deal with way more bull

15

Oct 23, 2019

PrinceI'm obsessed with your smile / Your face contorts upwards and / All of the pain and worry washes away

8

Oct 8, 2019

Voltaire's OathSince the dawn of time, / Man has striven to understand / Why we exist and

26

Aug 22, 2019

CuddlingThe weight of your lover as you're cuddling, / Their usually tense body so relaxed and / comforting, the slight pressure of them on

19

Jul 4, 2019

More thanI love you. / I love you more than I do rainy days / Because rainy days aren't as much fun

28

May 25, 2019

Vol IIIPlease don't leave; / You are one of the / Only things keeping

4

May 12, 2019

Draft- ShellsHis smile is like an / Evening on the beach. / The waves rising to

14

May 9, 2019

Hello PoetryVoting