Just Wait

Just wait and let life happen
And you'll see without a doubt
Time has a way of fixing things
It seems to just work out

Know that you have options
When you don't know what to do
Take some time and walk away
And do what's right for you

Don't rush and do the wrong thing
Step back and take it slow
Give yourself time to breath
And let the right plan grow

Don't make quick decisions
No need for judgement calls
Get all the facts that you need
And do what's best for all

Just wait and let life happen
And you'll see without a dought
Time has a way of fixing things
It seem to just work out

Carl Joseph Roberts

Famous Motel Cowboy Reunion*
Wishin I was there
Under western skies
In the Bucket
& out
With old friends
Tellin those lies
That made legends
No Dought
Singing old songs
That only
Motel cowboys
Know
Introducing
the younger ones
so's they remember
to show
the next
Babys
About life
on the road
with a
Motel Cowboy Band
Livin' hand to mouth
Maybe

I think I may have fathered 4
But only one legitimately
And it ripped me 2 the core
when she took him away from me
Yes, I've been a father
'though I've never raised a one
So as with each year
I'll not receive a card
or call, not a single one

Sometimes I think,
I may have missed out
But I would have raised
anyone of them
with out a dought
And so, I've lived my life
wondering who & where
they are?
I wonder if I'll ever meet them?
Or will they mearly remain
one of my scares?

As I ponder this
upon this Sunday
I sit alone
upon my throne
Hoping I can make the mortgage
so I won't loss my home
I know the phone won't ring
and no cards will come
So I should get off my ***
and get something done

Instead of writing poetry
to escape from other things
I should think of today
as just a Sunday
and not think of Monday
and horrors it will bring

So 4 those fathers
who get the calls & cards
from all those sons & daughters
even though their lives are hard
I hopeU don't find it a bother
have a great one, with  my regards

Stupid little things that don't matter,
that get to me.

I don't know why I feel forgotten sometimes,
or out of place.

I don't want to need to be around you,
or feel like when I hang out with you and your friends I'm being too much.

I don't want to be that girl.

The one who gets upset when it take you over a half hour to reply,
we're busy people,
and neither of us are attached to our phones.

I don't know how I always convince myself you don't miss me,
you don't really want me around.

So I try to give you space,
but then do you take that as me pushing you away?

I never dought you when we are together,
but maybe that means,
I need to spend some time alone.

Maybe I have to get used to not always being around you,
not relying on you so much.

But I want you to rely on me,
and I want us to stay as close as we are.

There is nothing wrong with our relationship,
but my mind keeps telling me there is.

That I'm going to get hurt,
that I'm doing something wrong,
that I'm too clingy,
too distent,
too needy,
not open enough.

Sometimes I feel like I don't say I love you enough,
but then I feel like I do it too much.

My head is whirling with insecurities,
that I fear will drive you away.

"Look at you feeling upset because he not around,
or he said something wrong,
or didn't answer your text."

"Look at yourself."
I think,
"This is disgraceful, do you really think anyone would want to be with someone so clingy so needy so broken"

"You are already loaded down with baggage,
now you're going to be overly attached too."

These thoughts I wish could be silenced,
but keep running through my head,
I fear to be that girl,
but look at yourself,
look at yourself,
you already are.

you owe me, some slow times
a slow swaying dance,
slow moving hands,
a few slow easy mornings,

hugs in the slow to rise sunlight,
more soft slow burning kissing
a slow stroll through the roses
words slow to read
throught the tears, poetry

slow emotional love making,
without dought
slow to get home nights
and slow to leave the bed days

no worries though
you can pay me back
slowly of course
with all my interest
slow to never fade away

Deep and dark
It fills me it takes me over;
doesn't leave room for the light.
I cant feel happy not now not ever.
When the warm feeling comes I remember,
I remember the people I left the people I failed,
the life I've thrown away.
People tell me that it all gets better it just takes time.
I don't see this light coming towards me, I feel it running.
Cold and hard
This feeling never leaves me when I sleep.
It calls me their friend.
It comes when least expected and never leaves.
It never lets me sleep, it never lets me eat.
When I eat I feel shame I feel unwanted.
When I eat I later think that I'm not seen as who I should be,
I’ve not seen as a girl who can fit in tiny shirts or fit in tiny pants.
But I’m the girl who is small and chubby.
Names and hurt
I feel the pain of myself dought,
I feel myself slipping closer to the edge.
I feel myself let go and fall,
Fall into a deep and dark pit.
A pit of names, a pit of hurt, pit of darkness.
This never-ending cycle of hurt and unloved.
I can never stop it unless I get rid of the one who has to deal with it all.
Get rid of my past.
Get rid of ME.

My body's a temple
That's what people say
If that's true this temples coming down
And extremely fast
This temple has been poisoned
Poisoned by the apple
Apple of shame,dought
and every thing in between