Ive been thinking ; thinking too much
My heart antisipates with darksness and complicated time .
A broken hurt trying to reconstruck itself by the help of a special some one but those dark time weakend or pestered the heart to non trust and pain thoughts running ;through the mind; realistic dreams and fear of loosing the one the heart loungs for the question is what do i do how can i trust this person having reasons to the pros and cons sos please ?????
Jun 24, 2018
Jun 24, 2018 at 10:16 PM UTC
Today is another day,
Where Hopes are also new,
Like the clear blue sky,
And fresh little dew,
The positivity of making it the most amazing day,
As i tried every day,
Positivity one of many to keep in mind or at least try the best,
Find escapes and avoiding negativity,
******* every wall in your way and every rock,
Trying not to trip and fall.
Jul 22, 2017
Jul 22, 2017 at 3:58 PM UTC
The feelings you own the wish you desire.
How simple can things be put into words.
Past dilama
Past lies
Past arguments
Past problems
All of the past being me here turns to the person I am.
Scared of the lies and the truth at times.
Drowning the feelings
Being scared
Being over protective
Have you ever felt something is wrong but you don't know what it is being scared that when you do find out it'll be regrettable.
The hardship
The time you have put in
The hard work
The infinite about of heart and soul you own put into that friendship and relationships.
You become broken and have to fix you're self finding yourself falling down taking the pain while you stand back up and repair what's damage.
When all that is done and over you become a different person every time you fall and get back up even in the smallest details.
It's hard to trust to believe,it becomes harder and harder every time some time that can destroy you ,destroy what you have it leave a black deep whole in you that's the hardest to fix.
I'm sorry and apologize go thro your head what you could have done better and avoided sometimes feeling sorry for yourself as if your starring at yourself from above watching as if it's a movie where those people make the wrong choice and you know they are and your trying to tell them but they can't hear you bc it's just a movie or a tv show and they can't hear you .
I know some one out their understands what I mean this may not be a poem but maybe just maybe just by reading this their people out their who feel this and won't feel like they are all alone in this world who some call he'll and same just love it ,it is a beautiful world but in this beautiful world it also has the ugly parts in term of ugly events people make this world to be .
Ps keep fighting no matter what this world may bring you don't let it control you.
Jul 22, 2017
Jul 22, 2017 at 3:45 PM UTC
Not feeling much pain today
Don’t know why
Am in pain,
I think.
Don’t feel anything!
No feelings of love
No feelings of hate
No feelings of hope
Feeling neither
pain nor peace
Peace or pain,
the same to me
I should care
I don’t care
I do care,
I think
Love or hate?
What’s the difference?
I don’t care
Does anyone care?
I don’t
I am neither in a negative
nor positive mood
Maybe, I would like to
be neutral for a while
Sounds like a
fine position to be
Neither in pain nor in peace
Neither loved nor hated
Neither alive nor dead
But, on second thought
Neutrality would be painful
Too painful just existing
Lord, please give me the
pain of a true heart
What is pain?
What's this world to me ?
I want to leave this world ?
I know nothing who am I ?
Jan 12, 2017
Jan 12, 2017 at 8:55 PM UTC
Thanks every one and may be my last type idk maybe when I feel better later on but the deep whole I'm in I can't seem to stand up anymore ......I'm giving up um yea I might not be on or might be on more now but yea theirs a lot going on and my body just doesn't want to move anymore ppl have hurt more than a haurt on me I'm broken into little tiny peaces that are not even seen by an eye I might be emotionally sick and broken I have so many problems idk if I'm normal or I'm just going crazy but all I ever wanted are the dreams eve had being with some one having my own place having kids later being happy nice friend that just doesn't excist for me in the real world anymore theirs always a fault a block whole in a situation that I can't coup with anymore onces I hit that black whole I sink deeper and deeper every black whole I fall into and I don't have the strength to fight it I think a lot about life and when well mine end tbh right now I dont care about my life where it ends where it starts or what it well be like I just want it to end
Jan 12, 2017
Jan 12, 2017 at 8:47 PM UTC
I try to seek a weakness to the darkness I seek a gaping while in the dark as I fight with a ****** sword as I see the world I been lost in I try to fight to get to the light as I fight through a huge crowd asking.my self wishing to myself to find at the end something I've always been searching for to give this live more meaning this bodied world more meaning ......
The hopes
Nov 28, 2016
Nov 28, 2016 at 6:32 PM UTC
These thoughts in my head go round and round, so I've put pen to paper and wrote them all down
Sometimes life's funny with the way things go, but I don't see the amusement when I'm feeling this low
There's a lot of things in my life that get me down, but because people think differently of me i have to hide my frown
I hide my troubles, my worries, my fears, I hide the hurt and I hide the tears
Sometimes my whole body aches and hurts
And I think.."can my life get any worse?
I wake in the morning and I know that it's time, to do it all again, to pretend that I'm fine!
Sep 26, 2016
Sep 26, 2016 at 5:39 PM UTC
Longing, wanting, constant yearning
Hating, loathing, frustration burning
Aching, hurting, forever crying
Suffering, cutting, inside dying
Fighting, trying, almost breaking
Holding, clinging, bodies aching
Twisting, Turning, mind controlling
Spinning breaking, sanity unfolding
Questioning, wanting, no understanding
Breaking, weakening, darkness approaching
Asking, begging, happiness awaiting
Hoping, wishing, forever praying
Sep 26, 2016
Sep 26, 2016 at 5:20 PM UTC
Feeling empty inside
Like there is nothing there
I don’t know how I feel
How can this be?
How can I not know my own feelings?
Feeling so down
Who cares?
No one cares
Surrounded by selfish people
Only wanting what they want
To hell with how I feel or what I am dealing with
Feeling empty inside
Where is everything?
What do I have left to give?
Nothing.
I have nothing left to give
Love just doesn’t seem to be enough
What am I suppose to do?
What can I do to make this right?
How am I suppose to fix this?
Maybe my expectations are too high
Maybe I should not expect anything at all
Well what about love?
Don’t I at least deserve love?
Am I that bad that I am unworthy to be loved?
What is really going on?
Feeling empty inside
Don’t know what to feel
Don’t know how to feel
What is the point of feeling anything?
You will just end up hurt in the end
I didn’t sign up for pain
I signed up for love
I felt it so strong for a while
What happened? Where is it?
I had it in my grasp
It is not perfect but it is mine
I feel so broken
Broken beyond repair
Wondering will I be able to bounce back this time
Will take years
I loved as strong as I could this time
Didn’t think I could ever love a woman so strong
But I do
Never felt like I needed anyone
But I feel I need her
She has been all I had
I am simple I don’t ask for much
Just love
Give me love
Feeling so empty inside
Tired of hurting
Tired of crying
When is the good part going to come along
There has to be more than the fighting
More than the hurt
Can I please get this one right
It has the potential of being the best relationship ever
Why is it so hard?
Wanting that breath of fresh air but it seems so far away
Why does love have to be so complicated?
I remember when things were different and we use to see each other every day I miss you..
Feeling so empty inside
Sep 26, 2016
Sep 26, 2016 at 4:48 PM UTC
At times I wish I could treat u like ur mine
I love u far more then any can ever love
At times I know... as if when we hug I can fall asleep huging you and it be the greatest thing in my life ..
I love when we hug it feels as if I have some one who truely loves me..
At times my thoughts in my head ask why haven't I kissed her and showed her the real love I have for her....
I'm scared that when I do she well leave or hate me...
I'm not scared or the thought just want her in my life for ever if possible....
At times I want to tell you how beautiful and dam gorgeous you are
At times I just want to love you and what true love is the same way you have given and more....
I love you unconditionally ....
I love you far from what the eyes can see...
I just want you to be mine my heart beats for you and only you.....
At times I see so many woman but the only one I see and think of even when not in my presence is you .....
Your the only person I can truely trust love and give my all to without a dought or regret.....
I give you my heart and all of me I love you and I always well words that I won't ever regret......
Sep 2, 2016
Sep 2, 2016 at 9:56 PM UTC