"dispise" poems
Heart frozen,
Mind broken,
Soul stolen,
Agony in the open,
A life suffering for others.
Unbearable fear,
Scared every day,
Scared every month,
Every year,
Scared every second of my worthless existence,
Scared for other peoples wellbeing,
Scared of losing those that I hold dear,
Scared of being left alone for the rest of my years,
Sat in my cell of darkness,
Drowning in my own tears.
Chained up,
Locked away,
Kept in the dark,
Self esteem torn apart,
On fire!
Burning in my prison,
Starving flames adding to this pain,
This is how I feel,
This is my daily torture,
And I am my own executioner.
My reflection provokes me,
Chokes me,
I'm ugly!
Which mother ****** invented the mirror?!
I might as well be dead,
What could Emz possibly see in me?
I know what I see,
And sometimes I want to gouge my own eyes out,
I'm a freak and I can't stand it!
I sentenced myself to a miserable life because I dispise myself,
Only Emily can keep me alive,
She's the only one that can breathe life into me,
She's the only one that can set me free,
Please! Please help me!!
Set me free from this prison of self loathing!
I hate it more than I hate myself.
Feb 17, 2011
Feb 17, 2011 at 10:33 PM UTC
(Wash, rinse, repeat)
The white dome of bone beckons
For another wash, again
Again,
BACK into the shower basin, again
4th time tonight I'm BACK
Scrubbing my scalp
Fingernails on shriveled fingertips
digging trails & rivers
Through the skinny bone.
Crop circles all over my balloon head
showing & telling White Skull Diaries
Squeezing the shampoo bottle empty
Shaky, macabre cleansing;
I get lost watching the spiral of water & bubbles
As it vanishes down a drain
I step out of the steaming shower
And face a foggy mirror, again
Again,
I dispise the blurry reflection
All I see is a stark white skull anyway
It goes back far
This is going to be hard to hide
Exposing more and more white skull
"Just stop already
The drain's f**king clogged with hai r"
Jan 23, 2013
Jan 23, 2013 at 5:25 PM UTC
Secrets as a chlid,
are done for fun...
Yet secrets in life,
can lead one to a gun...
Secrets that one hides,
can only lead to dispise...
Secrets we hold,
as we grow old...
Secrets we feel,
cant always be healed...
Secrets between two,
of love so true...
Secrets about ***
is always the best...
Secrets that hurt,
come from the dirt...
Yet secrets of two,
are held by me and you...
Dec 7, 2016
Dec 7, 2016 at 11:55 PM UTC
Hotel room a/c fans faded red curtains
Lamp shade mutes the generic glow
Side stepped your way into something so certain
A dance no one means to learn
Yet, everybody knows
Yeah, you used to want something and you lost it in your lover's eyes
Fatal to acquiesce
No you can't acquire the original wonder you gifted him the year he said good- bye
You were too young to fathom
Now the monopoly houses in the suburbs look like geriatric wards
Easy blueprints to dispise
Cheap siding to realize
You dream of nothing
Your thoughts aren't your own
I promise that I won't wait
There is nothing I would change
The parts of me that I don't know
City to city
Continents and languages
One woman alone
I promise you nothing
P.s. you can have my bones
May 2, 2013
May 2, 2013 at 5:31 AM UTC
I am thunder hear me roar;
paramour of Wotan
now the mountains rumble
when I anger and make war.
Beware the lair, my hair is fire
and I scorch from far.
I hurt your lies
and burn your truth.
I race the wind.
I always win.
Do not mock ...they’ll
find your body
on the rocks…
torn and bloody
black holes for eyes
bore out with nails.
You never saw
the truth so what!
You dispise
the one who tried to
show the way.
Go to hell !Oh boorish ****
I’m here to stay…Vaincre Le ****
is surely meant for me...
just set me free…If you should say,
Oh poisson,she smells... it would be fitting
for Wotan’s *****
You are a real piece of work!
Jun 30, 2010
Jun 30, 2010 at 9:35 AM UTC
I seem to think
Of you alot lately
This time
I want to break down
Cry
Scream
But mostly die
People tell me that you
Dont care about me
But I feel they are wrong
Others dispise you
For what you stand for
They do not see
What I see
Or know
What I know.
You have the heart
Of a fighter
Strength
That comes from within
Will power of titanium
Spoken harsh words
When necessary.
And yet thats only brushing
The surface
People have chipped away
At you with
Words
Actions
All of which I am guilty of
I am sorry for hurting you
I know it was from a lie
And I was wrong.
But did I lie
When I said
I love you?
No I dont think
I did
Truth is I still
Love you
And so
I hold onto
These precious
Memories
In the hope
That there is a chance
Before darkness consumes
My heart
And death takes my soul
From my body
All I have left
Are Memories
Aug 10, 2012
Aug 10, 2012 at 12:47 AM UTC
i love the smell of breath smoldered in alcohol, its sweet and warming, it makes sense until morning like most midnight performing involving you does, i love the way that words taste when their hot and misplaced coming from a mouth laced with hasty lies and replaced theighs, tonight you grab mine and I disguise my surprise, touching you back with dispise, you kiss me like youve done a thousand times, and i know you're not wanting any reply or goodbye, not tonight when you push and i gasp, things happening so fast that you might think youve been unsurpassed but my respect for you comes in dead last. "We have a weird relationship," but really you're giving me permission to ignore the suspicion that gathers when you lay me down for submission, your disposition is hungry and mad, fast and glad, things that don't make sense to a young lad like chad. maybe you know there will be pain in this lame game you play, everything to gain but nothing to maintain, you got it all worked out, dont restrain, pay attention to the inhumane way he chooses to entertain his left brain, his **** busts a nut and a vein, sputtering to a stop like its gotta a sprain, but really its just a ******* puppy wishing it was a great dane.
Aug 10, 2011
Aug 10, 2011 at 11:32 AM UTC
i feel like every breath i take when i am angry fill with smoke that takes my soul away.
every mistake i have made brings me and you closer. i want answer's that will tell me the truth. why do i have a demonic life with smoke that fills my lungs! how angry do you have to make me till i lose control and go on a rampage. how long before i can get my own soul back.i am a demonic being that will take a life and rote it to death. i stand alone with anger that spits all your ******* lies out. im going to lose control and show this world what life with out a soul will be like when all you breath smoke in your lungs that destroy you life roting your mind away wiht only
ANGER
HATRED
DISPISE
smoke filling my lungs with only anger and ****** off.
i dont stand along with the crowd i stand alone away from societys ***** triks.
my demonic life has nothing but darkness that writes my life storie of what its like to be in hell.
smoke fills my lungs cause thats whats going to happen when you trade your soul for what ever greed needs
so trace my foot steps ill dissapear like the sun dose every day.
smoke fills my lungs cause i'm just a broken soul that has no where to go exept rain hell onto those whoe made my life misrable enstead
Nov 23, 2015
Nov 23, 2015 at 1:18 PM UTC
Every fibre in my body aches for you.
My eyes for just a glimpse of your strong frame.
My lips for your lips.
My hands to feel the steady beat of your heart.
My ears for the familiar sound of your voice.
Every skin cell pulls away from its attachment just to be closer to you.
I envy your sweaters, they absorb your scent as you wear them.
I dispise each blink for taking my gaze away from you for only a second.
My voice yearns to speak your name and most of all my ears wait patiently to hear your words, if it's "I love you" or "I want my hands around your neck", I am listening.
May 20, 2014
May 20, 2014 at 1:19 AM UTC
silence the everlasting
fire, and the thirst of
your skin, well satisfed.
never doubtfull, your eyes
shine of placer, desire, and
complete satisfaction.
humdty in my pelvis, the
silky and sour shine, in the
lap of this gratefull and loved
lion.
and for a minute,
just in that moment, im
complete, serene, loved, wanted,
a full beast, serened and thankfull
the sorrow, the pain, and fouling acts,
and the brutal theft, are just bumps,
overcomed, erased with the humidity
of your ***
doubtfull is the one, that
has not loved, her lie is a heavy
cross, dark, fatal, deadly, her soul
will never love beneath the divine
phalus.
in return, your eyes, truth,
love and venture, loving an
impossible, but loving even so,
stertores of your loved and
kissed ******
penetrated, softly and ferouciously,
are the echo of the fire, crashing the
sea, making life, steam, watering the
earth, generating the trofhic cicle,
of life, fire and water, steam of life,
passion between two beasts,
beautiful and loved.
your honney and your
desire, WILD, intense,
evergreene, are vitals,
for a beast of montecristo,
that just drags, harm and pain,
of betrayal, every cut, every scratch,
every stabing, made of me, the strong man
that y am.
unbreakcable, and living, loving impossibles
destroying the lies, ending the weakness
of layars, full of hate, and envy,
for losing that, holding our
lives.
after that, and for their weakness
montecristo is the winner, a beast
with a heart, learning to love, the possible
and the impossible, to dissapear in the other,
rapped in her ligth, and her beauty,
the evil and weak of the mondego girls,
only speed up, their catastrophy,
y stand alone before their mistakes, and their
lies and anathems, turn against them,
truth clean the waters, and the fire make the
steam, that generates life, makng a full cicle.
so, threw desire, and mutual passion,
impossible happens, in the name of life,
and love, the desire quimera, could never erase
the time we touch, dispise the difference
full and wild.
generating steam, making life,
roaring, ******* groaning, and
in my mind and in yours, the same
desire, the overwelming truth, our truth,
and the incompresible lie, vain, the
echoes of the false, and ther infectious lies,
corrupting wath was always life.
the false notion of love, and their
acomplisses, with her conning, and the
not aceptacion, vain or insane,
dark, crazy and
incomplte.
Aug 14, 2016
Aug 14, 2016 at 1:59 AM UTC
I'm so tired of living a life of darkness
I can't see the light and I'm suffocating
I'm drowning, I'm drowning in my sorrow
I can't breath, I can't breath, I can't breath
I can't continue on, this is killing me
The poison prevents me from breaking free
Depression is blinding, I can not see
Help me, please help me, please help me
I wanna wake up and feel the sun
I wanna wake up and feel like someone
I wanna wake up and love my life
And not dispise who I am
I found a way to do it but it's not they simple
I fear the fear of living and losing my people
I can't let it go, it's all that I know
Take my hand, lift me up and say
Tomorrows a brand new day
It's time I change my ways
I'll put a smile on my face
I am not just a waste of space
My dear friends, dry your eyes
You know the reason, the reason why
I've got to go and say goodbye
When you wanna wake up and feel the sun
If you wanna smile because you're someone
When you can let all of it go, all that you know
I'll take your hand, lift you up and say
Tomorrows a brand new day
Tomorrow will be your day
Jan 24, 2014
Jan 24, 2014 at 4:05 AM UTC
i watch obsenity,
lascivious acts,
looking for normality,
the spoted back, the traps
are everiwhere, and
*** is inspiring, i aspire to
normality, an afective life
healing mi heart, and accept
the ********** of relations, and feel
normal, all live'd theyr lives,
mine was stolen, for some creep old *******
just the need, of feeling normal, accept the pain
as a normal man, or trie to feel as one,
is the gold of watching *** on the phone net,
the search of normality, despice the eyes y adore
and the highnes of loving someone, up there,
and every once a year or so, there is this look
in front of me, loving me in secret, understanding,
silent and sweet, all the rest if stupidity, and wounds
of a child arrased for the creeps, and their need of posses
someone, they don't understand, or love, is just obsession.
even so, the spots in my back, are clean,
my sanity too, so sometimes watching ****
is just looking for normality, and wash away the pain,
of carry the creep in my ears. still inside my ears,
talking to me, and never letting go.
as whympy woman, or a souless creep,
but never get to me, **** in the window,
remainds me, how creepy and stupid they are.
and me, i m feeling more normal every day,
my heart is operative, and ready to live, dispise
the creep. i am a free man, alive and clean,
my soul is good, my heart is pumping, and i am,
very normal and ***** indeed.
Oct 4, 2015
Oct 4, 2015 at 3:22 AM UTC
A rat catcher she would be
she smelt rodents from miles away
a female counterpart
with a body made of canvas
painting you on her mind
She will catch you and eat you
tear your limbs to bits
kitties claws are full of venom
all for the taste of you
she is the rat catcher
Her black fur and amber eyes
all rodents she does dispise
her **** does sting with rats blood
she is one hell of a killer
my sweet rat catcher
By Christos Andreas Kourtis aka NeonSolaris
May 2, 2014
May 2, 2014 at 11:22 AM UTC
If I had to explain it I'd say my world of words prefers to rhyme.
It likes to speed up, until you catch up,
and then take up your time.
It likes to play games and roll around in the grass like a child;
use its imagination to keep things fresh, tasty, and wild.
My words like to cuss and be rude,
spend days lying on the couch
drunk, shameless, and ****
They dispise being alphabetized and disrespect being ordered around;
like a high school kid being sensitized,
and in so doing being ostracized,
being pushed out forcefully by the system.
My words have rules and they love to resist them.
Often turning into words of insistence and criticism,
my words should be locked up,
but they're usually dressed up
in something they're not,
put in a strait jacket and forgotten in a prison because they've been caught.
People think I need to watch what I say but I'd rather not.
I want my words to stay in your head for days till they're the only thoughts
you've got.
Dec 23, 2014
Dec 23, 2014 at 10:55 PM UTC
Dear Far Away Love,
There you go again.
Walking by me without even a glance.
I notice that you don't have any interest.
But I still admire you from a far.
I won't dare approach you.
For fear of rejection.
I've been waiting on you to notice me.
Time after time, I stare at your face as you pass me.
You walk with such a specific flow of movements.
Your smile brightens the room.
Your eyes are the perfect shade.
You seem to like the way she walks, talks, exists.
You pay her more attention then you should.
She will break you.
I fear there's nothing I can say.
For the sake of starting another quarrel.
Oh, how I hate the way you look at her.
She has a beautiful name, as I am nameless to you.
We've been around each other before, without you thinking of her.
Only of me and what you needed.
I was your everything... until she took your from me.
That is what I dispise about her.
The point of view that you used on me.
You spoke sweet nothings to me.
I took them to heart... foolish girl I was.
For now, I feel this way for another.
Now, this one is perfect for me.
Everytime I see him, he looks back.
He pays no attention to the other women.
I'm the only one in his sights.
The only one who will stick by me.
Forever.
You're lost something.
Something you should od held onto.
For this one... I am perfectly imperfect.
I deserve him.
I love him.. he loves me.
We are meant to be.
Sorry for your loss.
But you'll regret losing me.
I promise.
Love,
Nameless.
Nov 30, 2011
Nov 30, 2011 at 12:02 AM UTC
The happiness of others is what I used to desire.
Leaving my unattended needs there to rot,
like this cycle of life that never was returned to.
Being so into pleasing rather than being pleased,
is where my mind left at ease.
Gracefully strolling through life on the outside.
Hiding the pain and lies of my dispise aside .
On a forbidden road my mind placed itself.
Engraved its roots and sprouted something that grew to make me uneasy.
Shaky with the wind and the pollutants that floated through the air.
I didn't care.
As long as I was somewhere, where I thought where I belonged.
Forgetting what's important and necessary.
My heart and soul combined making me choose what to believe and what to leave behind.
My mind formed a world of confusion .
Leaving me to find myself in a place that wasn't clear.
My reality and dreams morphed.
Seeing the darkness of the roots squeezing through.
I cut that unhealthy being of life my mind planted .
Cleared all negative energy and created a new path for myself.
Finding my happiness and clearing my mind of unnecessary seeds.
Jul 19, 2011
Jul 19, 2011 at 11:03 PM UTC
Within that dark tempest
Where gravity pulls you down
Deeply into that darkness
Will you ever be found, never
You can try to climb out
You try to make a sound
but unheard will go your shouts
However hard your fists pound
Where to turn where to go
What to do, whats the move
How could have you ever known
None of the signs were ever shown
And now you fall, into that blackness
Fading away from the loving eyes
dieing away, from every likeness
All hope is lost, this world you dispise
Then resigned to your fate
Hunger is sated, a ray of light
A glorious sight, now you fight
Tendrils grasping, holding too late
Break the surface, shower in that light
Flying higher than a kite
Another day you live to fight
there is hope after all that is the light.
May 17, 2012
May 17, 2012 at 10:07 AM UTC
I wish we were still friends
Now all we do is dispise
Our love was bulid so high
Now all i see is lies
I miss your touch your care and your sweaty hands
All i have to say now is this didnt go as planned
I was young and stupid and wreckless
And my love you wore as a necklace
And i was for you as you were for me
Our love was ******* helpless
Ill never forget your name and your number is burnt in head
Id love to call you and chat
But now our love is dead
This isnt how id pictured us now
never to speak the name
but if love is made for two
Then both of us are to blame.
May 6, 2016
May 6, 2016 at 12:41 AM UTC
The very people and principles that we the American people dispise, we now allow to run this country. It's time for the American people to rise up and make a change!!!
Dec 18, 2015
Dec 18, 2015 at 1:16 PM UTC
What you had, provided stability
What you had also caused countless moments of toil, discomfort, and an overall sense of stagnation
What you had, threw you to the side
Rejected; no need for you there anymore
Well if they don't need you
You don't need them
You weren't growing anyways
You were stagnant
And deep down you will always dispise mediocrity
In you or in anyone else
So reject it before it rejects you
Dec 16, 2015
Dec 16, 2015 at 2:49 AM UTC
I curve my day to the end
I curve my life to make the ones i have happy
I curve my wrist to keep the job im barly getting paid to do
This world is filled with turns just like the jedi minds of the hommies that have fallen .. people who show disrespect .. ill just sit and dispise your ******* twitted *** as you sit and slang abit of coke .. i poke to see what your condition is .. just before i set out my dreams of making you croke like a toad .. and look out on the streets and just realize its a mass hyptnosis .. and pleed for help because the ones who say they run our lives .. are just as crooked as the ones who made them
Jun 6, 2015
Jun 6, 2015 at 9:46 PM UTC
I've been found out.
I have been discovered,
I can't hide anymore.
I can't stick to the shadows like I've always done.
They know the real side of me.
The side which can't stand people.
The side that wants to hurt.
I can't go back into hiding.
Now like it has always been,
I will be thrown away.
Thrown away like a rag doll.
Thrown away like the piece of trash I am.
I can't keep the happy go lucky act going.
Everyone will hate me.
They'll dispise me.
I hate this,
I don't want to live in this world.
I want to go to sleep and just keep dreaming.
I've never been accepted.
And I will continue to never be accepted.
The devil on my shoulder says to cut.
The angel says nothing.
The devil says to punch.
The angel says nothing.
The devil says to go to sleep and hope to never wake up.
The angel says nothing.
The tears continue to flow down my cheeks as I continue to hate the world I live in.
Yes I've been spoiled.
Yes I love my family.
But thats not enough.
The love they give isn't worth it.
The thought of reverting back to drugs to forget the feelings sway back into my head.
The thought darkens the last light.
I'm gone.
I...
Can't Hide Anymore.
Oct 10, 2015
Oct 10, 2015 at 3:52 PM UTC
How does one actually get into one's heart....
How does one know actually where to start.....
Could it be from the look in one's eyes.....
Could it be from the words of no dispise....
Does it start by the looks of one.....
Does it start by the words of one...
Will it happen by the luck of the draw....
Will it happen through *** and desire.....
Do you look into a person's past.....
Do you look into a person's future....
Has games been played that makes you afraid....
Has drama been there that will cause you to stray.....
Life is funny and pretty much predictable.....
Life can be lonely at times, yet sustainable....
Is it the choice of the matter....
Is it the matter of the choice....
When does one find the heart they want....
When does one give up their heart to another.....
Aug 24, 2015
Aug 24, 2015 at 1:19 AM UTC
Today was such a great day.
Today was my birthday.
I normally dispise this day.
I find birthdays idiotic.
Why submit people into categories of age.
When the mind is an age different from the body.
Though today was different.
For the first time in years I loved this day.
I haven't smiled in so long, my face aches.
I spent the day running around with friends,
Swimming,
Laughing,
Loving the time together.
Today was a great day.
I'm truthfully amazed.
May 28, 2015
May 28, 2015 at 11:45 PM UTC
LOOK UP
LOOK DOWN
LOOK ALL AROUND.
TO LOOK BACK
TO LOOK FORWARD
TO LOOK AHEAD.
THE LOOK
IN YOUR
EYE.
THE LOOK
WHEN YOU
SAID.
THE LOOK
YOU GAVE
TO ME.
THE /THAT LOOK
THAT I’LL
KEEP IN
MY HEART
FOREVER.
THAT LOOK
THAT WILL STAY
WITH ME
FOREVER.
WILL BE
THE LOOK
THAT I’LL REMEMBER...
BUT HOPEFULLY
ALSO BE
THE LOOK
I'LL SOMEDAY
FORGET.
THE LOOK
OF DISAPPOINTMENT
THE LOOK
OF SADNESS
THE LOOK
OF ANGER
THE LOOK
OF DISPISE.
THE LOOK
OF RELIEF
FROM
THE PAIN.
THE LOOK
OF JOY
THE LOOK
OF EXCITEMENT.
THAT LOOK
OF HAPPINESS
THAT LOOK
OF APPROVAL.
THE LOOK
OF PURE
LOVE FROM
YOU
YOUR HEART.
THAT LOOK
ONLY
FROM
YOU.
-LOOK
(C) By HF-Whisper
29/01/2021 2:56PM
Jun 6, 2021
Jun 6, 2021 at 10:50 PM UTC