The Illness

You spend exponentially
All services of every cell in your body
For years
To keep an ill one alive

Possible prolonged moments of happiness and hope
trickle in
Between the hospitalizations

Your spending is what you find out
He doesn’t trust.

What one finds out
Is ones unprepared-ness
My son wants to claim his life
For himself, to which could be his end or not.

Like the breaking egg, beak first
Or sunlight cracking through trees
Where light comes out and gives birth
With uneven decisions
Will I live?
And what IS living with a chronic diease like?

What he believes is not that he doesn’t trust you,
He just wants to trust himself.
What other choice in the insanity defense is there
That would be as human, then giving freedom of choice to him.

Broken poor trash which degrades & defiles.
You lied to the courts, judge, mediator, minor's counsel, & district attorney.
A backstabber, 2 faced, hypocrite, who commited perjury.
A hunchback hammertoed hefer who gets fatter.
You live in a hoarded ***** stenched sty.
Quality is not something you search to buy.
You settle for **** bit by bit.
On your fat *** you sit.
Your ***** sag.
Your a decripid old hag with saddle bags.
You destroy relationships.
You can't form your own friendships.
Your a judgmental, prejudice, anti-social, psychotic, hermit crab.
Your a heartless blackheart who back stabs.
You take what's not yours.
By manipulation, cheating, stealing & lying.
You want my child motherless.
Your an evil diease.
Your thoughtless, your lies don't put me as ease.
You divorced my dad.
You took all I had.
You can't control your bladder.
What I want to you does'nt matter.
Greed you sought.
Your lies I fought.
You spread hate in your old lady disguise.
You believe your so clever, deceitful, & wise.
You have cellulite, verocross veins, & cottage cheese thighs.
A meat loving satanic caravore.
Who slams the door.
Pees on herself & the floor.
Has a greed for more. Always settles for poor. Vendictive evil without a cure. My life is smeared a blur from everything I am & once were.

like sanity fading to the back of my mind
a mind of which i no longer hold claim to
controlled and medicated
for false reasons
a misguided diease
i stare in horror at figures you dont see
dileauded grasp on reality
objects resemble those from a dream
i try to hide the tears
but they guide their way down my cheeks
fall softly upon my lips
i taste their salty kiss.
sense of sweet nothingness
and everything all at once
shhhhhhhh
if you listen you can hear them calling my name
like their screaming out to me
in vain attempts to help me stay sane.
so baby hold my hand
i promise i wont cry
ill tell you all im better
ill tell you all a lie.

It Seems Just Like Yesturday You Were Holding Me Close Calling Me "Your Little Princess"
Now It's Like You Don't Want My Exestince...
You Don't Even Look Me In The Eyes...
Only When It's Filled With Anger And Hate...
You Don't Hold Me Or Kiss Me The Way You Used To...
Like If I Was Some Kind of Diease...
You Don't Smile At Me...
Instead You Grind Your Teeth At Me That Is Filled With Dissapointment...
You Don't Hold My Hand As You Use To...
You Pull My Hand As You Begin To Leave Me Battle Scars...