It wont happen to me,
Ill only do it once,
just to see what its like,
i didn't think id like it.
It took hold quickly tightening its grasp,
its taken ownership of my soul,
there's no turning back.
the high is so good,
it only makes the sickness worse,
days when im without it id rather be in a hearse.
Jul 18, 2013
Jul 18, 2013 at 6:53 PM UTC
The bitterness taints my lips
Liquid hatred shows no love
Forget all my insecurities
I’ll be here to hold your hand when you’re all alone
I’ll be here to tell your secrets to
so hand me the bottle
this shot is mine
after five more
everything is fine.
ill forget that you left me
ill forget all the abuse
and for a few hours out of my life
i no longer love you.
Jul 10, 2013
Jul 10, 2013 at 7:29 PM UTC
i crush up the pills
place them in 2 nice little white lines
darling im sorry
i promise this is the last time.
my face is burning
i feel so alive
i love you
but im feeding you lies.
for try as i might
and try as i will
my love for you
dosnt comapre to the love i receive from the pills
so ill leave the warmth of your arms
to the comfort of my drug enduced bliss
replace your lips
with a empty kiss
and ill forget everything we had
pretend we never were
i told you to begin with
i am far from anyones dream girl
for my grasp on reality is deluded
tainted by self enduced hate
please dont think its your fault
this is just my fate.
and ill leave you a letter
apolgising for all the lies
then give into my obbession
pill bottles at side
and an array of colors is all ill see
as i swallow them all
i create my destiny.
Jul 10, 2013
Jul 10, 2013 at 7:05 PM UTC
and darling i miss you
i just thought you should know
ive been lying to myself since the night i watched you go
i wish you were here
in replace of his arms at night
staring into his blue eyes
i imagne them as yours when i close mine tight.
i wish you knew me now
i wish it wasnt to late
i had my chance with you
but i cant change fate.
so ill carry on an empty converstaion
the entire time biting my toung
i cant let it slip that with you im still in love
and ill cling to your memories
while i sleep in his arms at night
for in my dreams im with you
in my dreams i got it right.
Jul 10, 2013
Jul 10, 2013 at 7:02 PM UTC
like sanity fading to the back of my mind
a mind of which i no longer hold claim to
controlled and medicated
for false reasons
a misguided diease
i stare in horror at figures you dont see
dileauded grasp on reality
objects resemble those from a dream
i try to hide the tears
but they guide their way down my cheeks
fall softly upon my lips
i taste their salty kiss.
sense of sweet nothingness
and everything all at once
shhhhhhhh
if you listen you can hear them calling my name
like their screaming out to me
in vain attempts to help me stay sane.
so baby hold my hand
i promise i wont cry
ill tell you all im better
ill tell you all a lie.
Jul 10, 2013
Jul 10, 2013 at 6:47 PM UTC
i find refuage in my basement
behind a closed door
screaming out to metal music
broken razor blades litter the floor
and upon the table youll find
pills crushed into powder
like magic it numbs my mind.
in times of anger
i smash my fists agaisnt the wall
knuckles meet cement
i watch a bruise form
while i let the tears fall.
the blade so easy
i caress its shattered edge
the metal to my skin
i dont even flinch
i hate you so much
a **** for every sin.
so i plaster on the makeup
around my emotionless eyes
i dont know if youve noticed
but the love has recently died.
i find my face boring
so plain and mundane
so i shove a needle threw my lip
a maschoist addicted to pain.
and baby you might think youve saved me
but youve only dragged me down
i hate you so much
like a drug
you leave me strungout and hell bound.
Jul 10, 2013
Jul 10, 2013 at 12:20 PM UTC
I'm a prisoner,
a convict of the worst kind,
a slave kept in restraints,
confined to the four walls of my mind.
I'm tortured,
I'm punished,
abused in the worst way,
I'm held hostage by my demons,
who always want to come out to play.
I'm a *********
trying to win at a sadists game,
there's no hope in screaming,
all escape plans are vain.
I'm a liar,
truth tastes bitter in my mouth,
my only friends await me,
to drag me farther into hell.
I'm a thief,
all aspects of me are stolen,
like hundred year old glass,
begging to be broken.
I'm a puzzle,
that's missing the final piece,
I just want to silence the voices,
and embrace eternal sleep.
Jul 10, 2013
Jul 10, 2013 at 12:00 PM UTC
you haven't felt happiness
or the pure feeling of bliss
until you've experienced my intoxicating kiss.
my lips on your flesh
i have you hooked at the sight
after one time
you crave my arms every night
your wrapped around my fingers
an im tightening my grasp
everyone warned you there'd be no turning back.
you should have listened
but your not the kind to take advice
im your master now
im in control of your life.
you cant deny it
try as you might
you love me
an you know it
ill become your demise.
you dream of my sweet taste
you hear my voice whispering your name
your attempts at comfort
will drive you insane.
don't tell anyone
an ill continue to be your mistress
ill steal you from everyone
an continue to shower you in kisses.
so give me your hand
i promise i wont lie
ill wipe away all your tears
an keep you company until you die.
Jul 8, 2013
Jul 8, 2013 at 10:07 PM UTC
I am not a dog,
a domesticated animal you can keep on a leash
i wont cower at your hand,
i wont jump at your command,
your ways to me you will not teach,
you do not own me
i am free.
I will no longer pretend to be someone im not
you are not a man
just because you have a ****
i will speak my mind
i wont censor my thoughts
an i will live my life how i like
be it sober or not.
I will never again grovel at a mans feet
i will not see someone as better then me
you will not be the master of my destiny.
never again will i cry over you
an if you start to miss me
ill laugh when you do
That was the last time ill run at your beckon call
you will not be the person
for whom i continue to fall.
Im done caring what you think of me
an never again will i give my love so easily.
I will not let another person talk to me with such disrespect
you destroyed all my confidence
an made me feel nothing but reject.
Ill be the bigger person
as hard as that might be
ill try to stay strong
i dont need you in order to be happy
ill do fine on my own
an stay the **** out of my life
ill block out your memories
to keep you out of my dreams at night.
so like a chapter in a book
that is now complete
your a part of my past
your dead to me.
Jul 8, 2013
Jul 8, 2013 at 10:02 PM UTC
i will make you smile
and shatter it like ancient stained glass.
i will fill your heart with laughter
then replace it with a thousand silent screams
i will be the monster in your nightmares
i will haunt you in your dreams.
i am a master mind an a madman
you will regret letting me into your life
i will constantly criticize you
and bring you joy
just to replace it with strife.
i am a liar
i will **** with your head
i will manipulate your words
until their something besides what you said
i will praise you for what you did
though you can do nothing right
I will hold you close
keep you safe at night.
i will give you my hand
and hold yours closely to my heart
i will share with you everything
so you'll be left with nothing when i part.
i am everything you've ever wanted
i will give you everything from your wildest dreams
my name is love
and im never what i seem.
Jul 8, 2013
Jul 8, 2013 at 9:57 PM UTC