Im sorry you had to walk all the way up
now and then, i wonder:
whats the world gonna be like when*
your heart stops pumping with compassion
and reality has lost sight of you
i don't really know but
i think that  
I'll never synchronize
to anything that brings me to my last day
when will i have i to lose?

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       *cold creamer in
my coffee.
     the steam, slowly deteriates &
   before my eyes.
prior to its disappearance
    i got a quick and
shallow glance
at the scrauol as it is lifted
into the air
sublime was the way then
in the murky November vapor
I love what i have
and all i have is giving me
hindsight? zero to 100 percent . epiphany.
some call it sin of gluttony
im loving how much i am feeling it
nasty cold december is tempting me
and I'm needing a bit more rest
than the amount you have given me
but i didn't even think about leaving
* i am loving my stay*
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not the intellectual property of i but instead cherubs drifting in the past

It's getting harder to breath, as room to dream strinks. New ideas are more difficult to create as I age and my mind deteriates, the days of 16 killed the past self that I felt held the most potential. Now every time I close my eyes the only thing  i can remember are those blue eyes. In my paintings, the only colors I see are blue, red ,and gray. Your death transformed Halloween and Christmas to be dreaded dates. Stuck living in the past, trying to remember the curve of you face, depth of your eyes, and the sound of your voice, I ignore the future, for in time the trials of life have been turning me into a bitter morbid soul. I miss you.