Out of nowhere, it hits you.
I want to die. Or hurt something. Or feel something
Anything
But nothing happens so you're left in the pit that is sadness, darkness and hate.
It kreeps into your blood and never leaves you like ivy lacing it's stick thin fingers around trees and slowly killing them from the outside in.
But
This kind of pain is felt from the inside out and you hope on one sees or helps because you feel like you desever everything you get, everything is meant to happen for a reason.

I sit here hungry everyday but I give up my lunch so you can eat

I do things to make you happy even if it means to give up my own happynis

I would give up every present under the tree just to get you one

I stay by your side even though you have another

Just once I want to hear you say you mean the world to me and I'm glad you stayed ever though I don't desever you