Darkness all along, darkness who listens, darkness what eats, darkness when needed, darkness where feeds, darkness  whose my friend, darkness whom i've been

All alone in the dark, no one to talk to, no one listens except darkness, darkness who loves me, darkness who listens

Cosumed by the dark, no one saved me except darkness, darkness who loves me, darkness what eats

Dark empty, no one fills me except darkness, darkness who love me, darkness when needed

Feeding a dark soul, no one feeds me joy except darkness, darkness who loves me, darkness where feeds

Darkness my old friend, no one wants me except darkness, darkness who loves me, darkness whose my friend

Years in the dark, no one loved me except darkness, darkness who loves me, darkness whom i've been

Darkness all along, darkness who listens, darkness what eats, darkness when needed, darkness where feeds, darkness whose my friend, darkness whom i've been darkness all along

Lives that have been lived
   are not forgotten
Memories remain forever
   in the absence of thought
Moving pictures they are
   of distant voices
Forever echoing the
   expanding void.

We must not forget
   the laughter and love
That once cosumed our
   hearts, that lay above
The darkened streets
   of anger and pain.
Give eternal life to love
   let death fall like rain.

Depression darkening.
I see our sin and it is sickening.
Every story is the same.
There is only one.
And it is true.

We all have a choice.
And we all choose the samest.
Thou mayest indeed.
Making mistakes over and over again.
Nothings changing.
Just new scenery.

We eat that apple every day.
And like God I’m feeling the urge for a flood.
But I want to live in a world without Him.
Without an excuse for our actions.
Humanity is illness
For every good a thousand evils.
Even with hope peeking out in
Timshel.
We choose evil.

I choose evil too.
I’m no better.
I feel rage, bubbling inside.
The glint in my eyes as I grasp at my sister.
If only I could **** her.
But instead it’s hits I give.
She’s begging for it.

Then there is the man.
Whose face and likeness I openly mock.
And I feel my place in society.
As those above mock me.
I don’t feel much pleasure,
Though I smile and laugh.
Only empty.
With a glint in my eyes shinning.

And as I take a bite of the apple.
And knowledge comes into me,
East of Eden.
Guilt comes into me.
And I see myself in them.
Now I’m just left in the sadness of life.
And I wonder if anyone thinks like I think.
If anyone else knows what I know.
If those people are still living.
Or if we are all continually dying.

For there are people cosumed in their own darkness.
And people hiding flaws in laughs,
And  people staring in the stars seeing tears,
But can anyone see the universal.
Can anyone see the hoplessness
Of it all?

That if it was just you, you alone who was with blackness,
Then it would be better soon.
But no it’s us all,
We all are hurt.
We all hurt.

Who knows. Maybe I just do not see the saints.
Or I see them and do not understand.
To me the balance is broken.
No yin only yang.
Hell, maybe I’m broken.
No happy ending.
Only continuing.

drowning

i am drowning
being slowly dragged under by the weight of my guilt
cosumed in my bed
as i lay warm inside my emotional quilt
it layers me like i layer myself
layer upon layer , upon layer , upon layer
my invisible angels watch over me
kneeling in prayer, to someone that isnt there
at the side of my bed
they are manifestations, pehaps halusinations
dreamed up inside my head
the reside on an even keel
with demons and the dead

am i a freckle on a pretty girls face
or mabye an obsolete number
that has no place
in this life or the next
am i a love letter,  a text
perhaps the next phone call
to say the one you love
wont be comming home today
life demands he stays
under the car broken and twisted
soon to be listed
as just another dead brother, son, friend, father
to a little one
who will now have to rely on mum
as the important one

its getting late
as i lie here at night , full of fright
clinging to thoughts that are not right
but without them , i might , not make it
without devils and demons
to help me fake it, what does it leave
the cold touch of reality,  ****
sludge ****  thick and black
hanging on my back, breaking my spine
leaching off everything thats mine
**** comming out of my eyes, my ears
**** comming out of my mind, making me blind
to everything that makes sence
**** that builds a fence
to keep nice things away
at least for today

if i remove the mask
how long will the next one last
life demands so much
my masks cant keep up
have to wear a new one each day
smile politely and say, lying of course
i am really ok
then i turn and go back to my life of clay
moulding, folding this and that way
ptting on another face
to help me get through another day