(To the Tune of Humoresque, with apologies to Mssrs Dvorak and Douglas)

We want to make it very plain that residents should please abstain
From gatherings in groups (we’re watching you!!),

We discourage assignations, please commune in isolation,
Whatever you have done before DON’T DO!!

If you need a sweet flirtation, please recall our limitation,
Separation being the thing we hope you do.

If you start exchanging fluid, danger there is undisputed,
Please to keep the group size down to two.

Copywrong Vic Miller. All wrongs preserved.

Why couldn’t the snake reproduce--initially?
   Complicated.
First, her egg tried to cross the road.
   “Restless egg syndrome” was the medical diagnosis.
It rolled halfway across,
   Colliding with a politician
Looking for the median voter.
    Fruitless.

The egg was severely damaged, but they got it
    To the Shell service station.
No one cracked a yolk.
At the end though, multiplication was impossible.
    The snake was seen to be an adder.
A reptile dysfunction, they said.

But then LL Bean delivered their log table…

Copywrong Vic Miller 2018. All wrongs preserved.