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"compromised" poems
In That Moonlit Night Standing In The Abaft, Watching The Towed Flaccid Wooden Raft, I Thought That I Saw An Angel Resting, Lying Exhausted There In That Craft. I Call The Girl Out Unbeknownst Of Her Kind Name, "Hey Young Lady!!" To Which She Didn't Much Respond, She Looked Up Towards Me Once In Anguish & Collapsed, I See Desperation In Her Amber Eyes & Resolve To Help Her. The Crewmen Had Now Been Doing The Paddles After Resting, I Summon My Captain & Ask, "Do You See That Girl In The Raft?" The Senile Captain Smiles To Say, "Commodore, Better Get Married," I Look Just Clueless To Which He Simply Replies, "There Is No Girl." True He Was As She Had Simply Disappeared, I Started Thinking Of My Sleep Needs That Day, I Looked Around Again In A Hope To Find The Girl, I Had Compromised My Routine As The Commodore. Then I Immediately Realized It Was My Wild Phantasm, Now This Was Just A Plain Illusion Of A Tired Sailor's Mind, No Mermaids Could Have Ever Existed In Reality & Were Fake, I Turned Towards The Deck To Go Back To My Bunk For Sleeping. As I Climbed Down The Stairs To Enter My Room Amazed & Dazed, I Saw Her Standing And Waiting For Me By The Side Of My Bunk, I Accepted That Delusion Of My Mind & Started To Lie Down, She Said, "I'm As Real As Your Thoughts, Don't Fear Me." She & I-Me & Her, Had The Best Time That Night, In The Morning She Was Gone & Was Just Gone, Disappeared Into Thin Air While I Was Asleep, Each Day I So Dearly Long For Her To Return.
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Nov 28, 2012
Nov 28, 2012 at 2:06 AM UTC
Angel?
In That Moonlit Night Standing In The Abaft, Watching The Towed Flaccid Wooden Raft, I Thought That I Saw An Angel Resting, Lying Exhausted There In That Craft. I Call The Girl Out Unbeknownst Of Her Kind Name, "Hey Young Lady!!" To Which She Didn't Much Respond, She Looked Up Towards Me Once In Anguish & Collapsed, I See Desperation In Her Amber Eyes & Resolve To Help Her. The Crewmen Had Now Been Doing The Paddles After Resting, I Summon My Captain & Ask, "Do You See That Girl In The Raft?" The Senile Captain Smiles To Say, "Commodore, Better Get Married," I Look Just Clueless To Which He Simply Replies, "There Is No Girl." True He Was As She Had Simply Disappeared, I Started Thinking Of My Sleep Needs That Day, I Looked Around Again In A Hope To Find The Girl, I Had Compromised My Routine As The Commodore. Then I Immediately Realized It Was My Wild Phantasm, Now This Was Just A Plain Illusion Of A Tired Sailor's Mind, No Mermaids Could Have Ever Existed In Reality & Were Fake, I Turned Towards The Deck To Go Back To My Bunk For Sleeping. As I Climbed Down The Stairs To Enter My Room Amazed & Dazed, I Saw Her Standing And Waiting For Me By The Side Of My Bunk, I Accepted That Delusion Of My Mind & Started To Lie Down, She Said, "I'm As Real As Your Thoughts, Don't Fear Me." She & I-Me & Her, Had The Best Time That Night, In The Morning She Was Gone & Was Just Gone, Disappeared Into Thin Air While I Was Asleep, Each Day I So Dearly Long For Her To Return.
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28
Leg off the table you red face recruit! put on the offensive and break down the bolted door! you are the soul saver the peddle maker the calibrator with colored handbills and front line rhetoric join the masquerade in ivy league style! politicking with cunning guile invisalign smile blackened vile bleeding the funnel with gold plate omega and crocodile shoes get on stage and dance you fool! you are the headline maker the pantomime juggler the compromised closer pull out that 5 page review (bullet points only please) and polish those weathered lines! did you give it your all? the door tags and pleasantries the tidings and clippings the irrevocable claims and postured blames all those impressionable basics put to the test? you know the call (straight from those cold academics) the pie chart gurus and contract killers (complete with bone in finger) whipping their frenzied crew in an all night charade old yellar and the gatekeeper sure seem amused (sharpening their inquest behind closed doors) firing up the shiit storm with those hostile priicks and a slew of insatiable cures there’s laughter from the back room the dripping nose and wavering hand the cut white lines and checkpoint tales the pipeline romance and lacking form (of a basic essential character!) soundboard and narratives for logging time slouching on the steel case over moot points ready to play the 3 weight butter card (if need be) might I remind you it’s only an inquiry (with a slight hint of concern!) surely no malfeasance or deception intended so step back from the melt down and cut to the chase! headlines to breadlines penthouse to outhouse those immoral pursuits have taken their toll (haven’t they?) madman or rogue (you take your pick) for the scores and tabulations are final shame on you for the foul play the bold hypocrisy and order desk games the back stabbing blames and spurious names just sign on the dotted line ~ this banter is killing me
0
Jan 4, 2017
Jan 4, 2017 at 1:12 PM UTC
The Recruit
Leg off the table you red face recruit! put on the offensive and break down the bolted door! you are the soul saver the peddle maker the calibrator with colored handbills and front line rhetoric join the masquerade in ivy league style! politicking with cunning guile invisalign smile blackened vile bleeding the funnel with gold plate omega and crocodile shoes get on stage and dance you fool! you are the headline maker the pantomime juggler the compromised closer pull out that 5 page review (bullet points only please) and polish those weathered lines! did you give it your all? the door tags and pleasantries the tidings and clippings the irrevocable claims and postured blames all those impressionable basics put to the test? you know the call (straight from those cold academics) the pie chart gurus and contract killers (complete with bone in finger) whipping their frenzied crew in an all night charade old yellar and the gatekeeper sure seem amused (sharpening their inquest behind closed doors) firing up the shiit storm with those hostile priicks and a slew of insatiable cures there’s laughter from the back room the dripping nose and wavering hand the cut white lines and checkpoint tales the pipeline romance and lacking form (of a basic essential character!) soundboard and narratives for logging time slouching on the steel case over moot points ready to play the 3 weight butter card (if need be) might I remind you it’s only an inquiry (with a slight hint of concern!) surely no malfeasance or deception intended so step back from the melt down and cut to the chase! headlines to breadlines penthouse to outhouse those immoral pursuits have taken their toll (haven’t they?) madman or rogue (you take your pick) for the scores and tabulations are final shame on you for the foul play the bold hypocrisy and order desk games the back stabbing blames and spurious names just sign on the dotted line ~ this banter is killing me
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104
I’m learning the new language of love It’s cloudy and I’ve only broken sentences already-fluent in the tongue of drunk hook-ups and meaningless touches and compromised endeavors and disguised intentions I have never felt what I was promised I want to bathe myself in it showers pools seas of infatuation if it exists desperate for affection addicted to the idea that a soul could long for me craving something anything unreliable arousal am I unfairly deprived?
0
Oct 11, 2017
Oct 11, 2017 at 7:30 PM UTC
mother tongue
You were a different version of the religion, you were a ****** of the region when we met. I had the brownest eyes. You had the greenest eyes. chin sits perfectly in shoulder, hand fits in hand, molded. I had hair like a little girl's. You had hair like a little boy's. Both half ****** my arms were as thin as yours, and toned. You didn't own a single curve, just edges and bone. Only your lips were soft. Only my lips were soft. The fading light bounced off the angles of my abdomen and visible ribcage, made your mouth water. With a shy, curling finger, you called me over to you. It drove me wilder. We undressed each other under the covers. You giggled and I crumbled when you saw I needed help with the clasp of your bra. I chuckled, returned the favor when you gave up on my belt buckle. I had the body of a little girl. You had the body of a little  boy. The sheets wound around and pressed us together, You had the hardest hips. I had the hardest hips. You compromised what was inside your mind; I felt those first few moans rattle your visible ribcage and escape through lips pursed like a porcelain doll. Took it all in, held on to your fragile frame and from the moment we were free, two children in the wilderness.
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Dec 27, 2010
Dec 27, 2010 at 8:00 AM UTC
Adolescex
I know I was just a game Player 2 felt just the same Scared of my window And my Windows Worried by empty streets And data sheets Are my files compromised? Or is it just my brain, CPU rotting again.
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Sep 25, 2018
Sep 25, 2018 at 9:46 AM UTC
White Lies, Black Hat
i am naked and been exposed i deserve it i suppose pretending at mending a broken-ness and making such a mess of things among an audience never once thinking of the pain i'd be bringing of a secret i behold i regret i never told the tears i cry i, now disguise failing to realize my character being compromised
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Mar 20, 2017
Mar 20, 2017 at 7:30 AM UTC
naked
What's my worth? Am I worth a second glance? Till present, from birth Am I deserving of chance? What's my value? Am I worth time spent? What did I do? Did I squander the life lent? What are my virtues? Do they even shine through? Do I put them to good use? Or useless like a pair less shoe? What defines me? Is it the words that write? Or work I do diligently? Could it be my punches in a fight? What have I done? Take your time to think Did I do it with a loaded gun? Must've done something; must've missed the link What am I good for? Important work or menial labour Could have I done more? Achieved alone or together Do I think differently? Indulge in fairytale notions Is it sheer folly? To believe in magic potions Am I just silly? Do I dream too much? Accept reality Am I capable of such? Do I shirk what I carry? Should I have said no? Did I delay and tarry? Have I nothing to show? Am I wrong to feel? Is it foolish to want? When it all is real Now bearing the brunt Do I wear you weary? With my endless stupor Why can't I bury? Before we expire Why do I wallow? Wading through eye puddles Should I just burrow? Deep into these riddles Why do I falter? Why can't I heal and rise? Why do I break and shatter? How do I stop my eyes? What is this dense forest? Must everything be obscure? Can I not be honest? Can I not be insecure? Could I be any more random? Asking as they come to mind Have I compromised my decorum? Have I been blind? Should I delve even deeper? May I go on and ask? Am I worthy of an answer? Or should I just don my mask? Gargantuan was my crime Thick was its girth Absolution this time? Of it am I worth?
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Sep 15, 2014
Sep 15, 2014 at 1:04 PM UTC
Worth
What's my worth? Am I worth a second glance? Till present, from birth Am I deserving of chance? What's my value? Am I worth time spent? What did I do? Did I squander the life lent? What are my virtues? Do they even shine through? Do I put them to good use? Or useless like a pair less shoe? What defines me? Is it the words that write? Or work I do diligently? Could it be my punches in a fight? What have I done? Take your time to think Did I do it with a loaded gun? Must've done something; must've missed the link What am I good for? Important work or menial labour Could have I done more? Achieved alone or together Do I think differently? Indulge in fairytale notions Is it sheer folly? To believe in magic potions Am I just silly? Do I dream too much? Accept reality Am I capable of such? Do I shirk what I carry? Should I have said no? Did I delay and tarry? Have I nothing to show? Am I wrong to feel? Is it foolish to want? When it all is real Now bearing the brunt Do I wear you weary? With my endless stupor Why can't I bury? Before we expire Why do I wallow? Wading through eye puddles Should I just burrow? Deep into these riddles Why do I falter? Why can't I heal and rise? Why do I break and shatter? How do I stop my eyes? What is this dense forest? Must everything be obscure? Can I not be honest? Can I not be insecure? Could I be any more random? Asking as they come to mind Have I compromised my decorum? Have I been blind? Should I delve even deeper? May I go on and ask? Am I worthy of an answer? Or should I just don my mask? Gargantuan was my crime Thick was its girth Absolution this time? Of it am I worth?
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68
German is a harsh language An opinion that prevails A strong rolled “R” Noises, making you think Something is stuck down your throat Talking, in everlasting anger Let me tell you something Let me introduce you To the beauty of the German language To the words of “Wanderlust”, “Weltschmerz” or “Geborgenheit” Many words so unique Their meaning poetic Using them yet so difficult Listen to us closely and you will find out German is not German It comes in many forms It varies by the region, state, country Every form has its own character Every accent has its own thrill Determinable in the way it’s spoken And sometimes hard to understand Differences so great, Yet compromised in a single tongue Reconsider, German is not as harsh as you think No anger lies in our tone Nothing is stuck down our throat And spoken by the right person It can be quite melodic
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Jul 28, 2018
Jul 28, 2018 at 2:35 PM UTC
On the Harshness of the German Language
I try so hard to do it all, I try to measure up to your standards. I've done the best that I know how, but I guess my best just isn't enough for you. I've compromised... ...I didn't do it right. I've sacrificed... ...I didn't do enough. I've given everything that I have to give, but I guess my all just isn't enough for you. I'm losing my will. I've lost all pride. I've forgotten how lovely it feels being happy... But you don't care. Why would you? I don't mean enough to you. Maybe if I try harder, and break a little more... Maybe one day I will be enough for you.
0
Mar 10, 2017
Mar 10, 2017 at 9:31 AM UTC
Failure
He must really love her body how could he not? unlike mine's , hers is wonderland Those thigh gap of hers is more than my Finger's gaps This chubby cheeks of mine fails badly infront of her *** this little height,fat filled inside I'm not even good for a sight To everyone's"how are you?" question I reply " I am fat,alright?" I know there's nothing wrong with me thats just a fat inside This fat loves my body so much so how can I hide? it might feel bad so I console myself,its alright I mean, I can live without thigh gap & height those stomach in and *** out is compromised I am better person inside hahaha I am kidding I must be really high seriously, I need that slim body outside.
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Dec 13, 2014
Dec 13, 2014 at 8:41 AM UTC
Fatness is a *****
Once I was alive and full of mystery But now I am dying and full of misery Soon all that will be left is dirt and dust My molten sphere will begin to rust Fossil fuels, logging, factories and pollution I am dying but yet you have found no solution Yet you continue to consume without any thought Pretty soon resources, there will be naught Time isn’t on my side nor is the human population Only your obliviousness and ignorance has put me in this situation The weather cycles are getting stranger and stranger by the day Heat is building up on the ice caps dirt and clay The sea level is continuously rising And animal species are slowly dying Soon I’ll be nothing but disastrous ruins You must stop what you have been doing Cries of agony are an endless groan I am slowly dying and all alone Sadly my unrenewable products are beginning to run out You destroy everything that gets in your way without a single doubt You say you are humans but yet you show no humanity You have brought me to my insanity Animals and plants are only just surviving But yet you humans are still thriving You know what you are doing My broken world will be your undoing Perhaps you will never learn that my awful slow demise Was because you never even tried to compromised If in the end you try to save me from my tragic fate It will it be too little too late /gt
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May 22, 2016
May 22, 2016 at 7:55 PM UTC
Too little too late
Illustrative disregard is creating Nervousness which controls my limbs Fragmentary is the heart Infected by a broken promise Disrespect stings me Elevating my pain Loyalty has been compromised Intrusion has enraged me Trust slips into abandonment Yielding to uncertainty © Christopher Chronister. All rights reserved
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Oct 11, 2013
Oct 11, 2013 at 9:37 AM UTC
"Infidelity" an acrostic poem
Hey young man, wanna join a frat? Cool wife beater and a backwards hat? Come with us, be one of the "bros" And help us pull some cute little hos. All you gotta do is follow our rules Play along and we'll provide the tools. To be one of the coolest kids here. Just take a shot and slam a beer. ******* come your way as soon as you join. All over you like you got loads of coin. Scoring ******* left and right. Getting ***** every night. Frat boy Brad must have forgot since he was drunk. With this kind of attitude, you'll surely flunk. But if you don't care about your future, stand up and say: "I compromised my morals, but it's O.K.!"
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Oct 23, 2011
Oct 23, 2011 at 3:08 PM UTC
Frat Boy
Peoples’ lives are dying in consistency; Greed in their pedestal has corrupted this world’s societies. A fruitful opportunity, a gold rush was encountered! Underlying the main ambition of many unfortunate ambitious desires.    Persistently seeking an object of materiality, Children have become contracted to labor endlessly till mortality. The corporate pose has overshadowed humanity, Predetermining existence through living in a vision of obscurity.    Freedom has evolved in many attaining their dreams, Yet, failing to realize their limits in overstepping boundaries. Morality has been compromised to new opportunities. Ultimately, corrupting one’s essence in living spiritually.    We have eluded to perceive the subtle communication they have established you see. Projecting honesty while planting a seed, they enrich themselves invulnerably. Enabled through the loophole of ignorance attracted by social mediocrity, Revealing a battle between each other secretly disguised as insecurity.    Asking how do I seek success, freedom, and happiness endlessly. Indubitably, the answer relies inside, secreting awareness internally. Discovering that the war begins within may end the violence indeed. Extinguishing eternal destruction of the world through peace and harmony.    By: Michael M. De La Fuente
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May 25, 2014
May 25, 2014 at 7:47 PM UTC
Greed
1232 The Clover’s simple Fame Remembered of the Cow— Is better than enameled Realms Of notability. Renown perceives itself And that degrades the Flower— The Daisy that has looked behind Has compromised its power—
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4.6k
The Clover’s simple Fame
I feel the walls of my mentality breaking down. The defense mechanism has failed. My weakness has been found. Bombs bombard my frontal lobes. How much time do I have left? That's a question nobody knows. But the army of stress wages through. Setting fire and killing cells, torturing them as the army continues to move. My head throbs with pain, my legs join my arms in what feels like an earthquake; Heart pounds with tremendous force, my body is on a crash course. The room becomes an amusement park ride. While different moods pass me by. Day after day the symptoms increase. Today may be the day when I accept defeat. Socializing has become a thing of the past, all I have is panic attacks. Happiness has finally been lost. Without a map, and at what cost? Control center has been compromised. Here I am, I have met my demise.
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Jul 17, 2014
Jul 17, 2014 at 2:26 PM UTC
Breakdown
Come these never ending tales of war has took its toll in all of us. where freedom was compromised, false judgement was thrown at us. I adhere to correct them all without burning bridges on opposite tail ends. as people misunderstand with their small minds, I Stand oppressive until this strong bark bends. Let me free your harrased mind, despite of these known inequalities. Please Pardon me for my words, we all want to end this in tranquility we are intelligent just enough to know our selves, our needs and wants just hidden inside our chests knowing that all these months, I've scratched your back, I hope you'll do the same in this wicked test. You've all wore this masks, battle faced, I am amused I became the villain. this was never the same scenario where I am lost and I've abstained. I can never guide your rituals. come as you are, friends? you've all grown up and matured for this. I have got no plans to ****** my belongings. It is your choice. you got all of these. I never wished to betray nor consider you all in the past. but what I've felt it gives me sorrow. to know that I am not part of your tomorrow. Never wanting to compromise but there's a feeling that I've been sacrificed. I am raising the white flag. but leaving all of you will be a throw of a dice
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Feb 5, 2013
Feb 5, 2013 at 10:11 PM UTC
Throw of a dice
I did my part, by staying in. So effective, bored. It’s a sacrifice. The soul is very passionate. The isolating, the flattening. Foraging coercion. For Immuno compromised persons! Stay in your homes. Prevent the increase in tombstones! Then pat yourself on the back. Knowing all the people you have saved! Staying in, flattening the curve again. Outcome, only time will tell. Feeling relieved I’m not the only one! And the stupidity will **** us all. Hoarding toilet paper from the aisles. But no one else can see. The effects this has on the elderly. Social distance, social distance, social distance. Social distance, social distance, social distance. Oh, there are arrogant ******** not taking this seriously. But there are others doing their part. The nurses and doctors have gone mad. With people taking all their masks. But when we cure it all, The faith will be restored, Who hopes we will be blessed? We could start over, Just cover your mouth when you cough! It’s that simple. Now there’s time to watch streaming platforms. Helpfulness, committed. To doing what I can. I’m not the only one. And the stupidity will **** us all. Hoarding toilet paper from the aisles. But no one else can see. The effects this has on the elderly. Social distance, social distance, social distance. Social distance, social distance, social distance. The limits of the research. The limits of the research. The limits of the research. Fake news outlets (social distance) Only check AHS, for info (social distance) Your support to fund research would help (social distance) Can’t stop the spread (social distance) If you don’t stay home (social distance) This is a must (social distance) I’m not the only one. And the stupidity will **** us all. Hoarding toilet paper from the aisles. But no one else can see. The effects this has on the elderly. And the stupidity will **** us all. Hoarding toilet paper from the aisles. But no one else can see. The effects this has on the elderly. The limits of the research. The limits of the research.
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Apr 5, 2020
Apr 5, 2020 at 1:51 PM UTC
Social distance (slipknot psychosocial parody)
I did my part, by staying in. So effective, bored. It’s a sacrifice. The soul is very passionate. The isolating, the flattening. Foraging coercion. For Immuno compromised persons! Stay in your homes. Prevent the increase in tombstones! Then pat yourself on the back. Knowing all the people you have saved! Staying in, flattening the curve again. Outcome, only time will tell. Feeling relieved I’m not the only one! And the stupidity will **** us all. Hoarding toilet paper from the aisles. But no one else can see. The effects this has on the elderly. Social distance, social distance, social distance. Social distance, social distance, social distance. Oh, there are arrogant ******** not taking this seriously. But there are others doing their part. The nurses and doctors have gone mad. With people taking all their masks. But when we cure it all, The faith will be restored, Who hopes we will be blessed? We could start over, Just cover your mouth when you cough! It’s that simple. Now there’s time to watch streaming platforms. Helpfulness, committed. To doing what I can. I’m not the only one. And the stupidity will **** us all. Hoarding toilet paper from the aisles. But no one else can see. The effects this has on the elderly. Social distance, social distance, social distance. Social distance, social distance, social distance. The limits of the research. The limits of the research. The limits of the research. Fake news outlets (social distance) Only check AHS, for info (social distance) Your support to fund research would help (social distance) Can’t stop the spread (social distance) If you don’t stay home (social distance) This is a must (social distance) I’m not the only one. And the stupidity will **** us all. Hoarding toilet paper from the aisles. But no one else can see. The effects this has on the elderly. And the stupidity will **** us all. Hoarding toilet paper from the aisles. But no one else can see. The effects this has on the elderly. The limits of the research. The limits of the research.
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60
My dreams whisper sweet things And surreptitiously speak to me My waking words are rote and empty -spilling with hypocrisy Yet their comforting embrace Simply bring smiles to my face Filling my mind while I'm asleep They send messages lined with silver That vanish when I wake To bring about a dull and listless form Who is shaping my last mistake You see I wake in a storm Simultaneously feeling constrained To my bed I can't get up while there's no filter For the rush of noises in my head If there's a difference between What you know and what you believe Then why is it not as easy To imagine my reprieve Why can I only experience a vivid life While I sleep Then once again wake up To this Fear Doubt and Anger Choking me Invoking me by pushing buttons Of their endless promises To for certain be found in youth While my vision is livid sinning Contemplating and pinpointing Who too close is uncouth You sit there and feed my veins An explanation to your lies With all the compromised Washed up water Memorized methods Coping mechanisms While it's your heart that remains Aloof Then sit there in desperation Reiterating as if you know The deep introspective answer When any fool can see your wisdom Is wrought in the vanity Of a talented dancer If you lost the truth of sanity Would you retrieve it for ten cents Or would you search inside Before hiding from the confines Of a necessary moment I'd rather die or sacrifice my life Before cowering from what's hidden The message so raw That counts your flaws Like there was some proof In what is missing But ultimately I guess It comes down to the small decision The chip on my shoulder That became a boulder When I reached out For my inner vision. So while I feel so disparate and alone In the trenches losing my senses Will I be the hero or be the villain Will I let the poison make me it's toy Or take the penicillin *Some days my life feels as heavy As that last breath left over From how loudly I shout But I guess a general synopsis to you Of how I sometimes feel inside Is a decent first step to waking up While I'm down and out*
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Jul 3, 2017
Jul 3, 2017 at 4:53 AM UTC
Waking Up
My dreams whisper sweet things And surreptitiously speak to me My waking words are rote and empty -spilling with hypocrisy Yet their comforting embrace Simply bring smiles to my face Filling my mind while I'm asleep They send messages lined with silver That vanish when I wake To bring about a dull and listless form Who is shaping my last mistake You see I wake in a storm Simultaneously feeling constrained To my bed I can't get up while there's no filter For the rush of noises in my head If there's a difference between What you know and what you believe Then why is it not as easy To imagine my reprieve Why can I only experience a vivid life While I sleep Then once again wake up To this Fear Doubt and Anger Choking me Invoking me by pushing buttons Of their endless promises To for certain be found in youth While my vision is livid sinning Contemplating and pinpointing Who too close is uncouth You sit there and feed my veins An explanation to your lies With all the compromised Washed up water Memorized methods Coping mechanisms While it's your heart that remains Aloof Then sit there in desperation Reiterating as if you know The deep introspective answer When any fool can see your wisdom Is wrought in the vanity Of a talented dancer If you lost the truth of sanity Would you retrieve it for ten cents Or would you search inside Before hiding from the confines Of a necessary moment I'd rather die or sacrifice my life Before cowering from what's hidden The message so raw That counts your flaws Like there was some proof In what is missing But ultimately I guess It comes down to the small decision The chip on my shoulder That became a boulder When I reached out For my inner vision. So while I feel so disparate and alone In the trenches losing my senses Will I be the hero or be the villain Will I let the poison make me it's toy Or take the penicillin *Some days my life feels as heavy As that last breath left over From how loudly I shout But I guess a general synopsis to you Of how I sometimes feel inside Is a decent first step to waking up While I'm down and out*
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71
My head's a mess. It is. I've been compromised. I've been broken. Like a puzzle where none of the pieces match. None fit. I've realized mine never will either. Because someone has taken away a few and thrown in new ones. And I'm not even sure if I can blaim anyone else but myself. It's chaos. A mess. So I've given up. The fight is over. Leave me alone to curl in the dark corners of my bed. Please don't make me open my eyes. I don't want to see. If you try you will only risk getting your own puzzle shattered. That's what I am now. That's what I've become. The very essence of "you only want what you can't have". Reluctantly indifferent. My heart is off and the switch has stuck. Not wanting to be alone, but deserving it. I'm a safety hazard. Dangerous. I can make you fall in love with me. And that's what I crave. But I have forgotten how to love in return. You think I give and give and give. When all I really try to do is take, take, take to fill myself and switch my heart back on. If it's even there anymore, in the sinus of my chest. I can't tell. I can't feel it. So leave me alone to curl in the dark corners of my bed. Please don't make me open my eyes. I don't want to see what I've done.
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May 4, 2015
May 4, 2015 at 5:56 AM UTC
puzzle chaos
Disrespect isn’t a language I speak anymore But it’s the language we used to adore Only with you was I able to miscommunicate Only with you were my opinions misconstrued Disrespect isn’t a language I speak anymore My memory of it is rusty I can barely remember the grammar It was intricate and had a specific structure My boundaries were always compromised After every time I’d let you lie Disrespect isn’t a language I speak anymore My tongue can barely roll the r’s My voice can no longer shout the insults And my mind has forgotten how to manipulate as a result Disrespect isn’t a language I speak anymore So, when we saw each other unexpectedly When used one of its idioms I could no longer recognize it I no longer am fluent in it
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Oct 16, 2021
Oct 16, 2021 at 7:08 PM UTC
a lost language
What is forgiveness? Is forgiveness some absolute Like once you've given it That's it? I don't think that it is. I think it's a constant  choice and battle against emotion. Or maybe I just haven't truly forgiven yet Is forgiveness the same as letting go? I don't know I just know that I'm not very good at that Especially if it involves upset Maybe it's not a matter of forgiveness but of forgetting Maybe that would make it easy. But it seems I'm cursed with a long and detailed memory But memories fade surely? Time heals and all Yet I'm afraid Cause attach an emotion to them And when you feel that emotion again They all come flying back up to the surface Why is that? It makes me feel like I've never truly let anything go Or maybe when I'm in a compromised state It just becomes more of a weight And by God it weighs heavy! So I wonder what is forgiveness to me? Forgiveness is a way to be free
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Jun 5, 2015
Jun 5, 2015 at 12:31 PM UTC
Forgive and Forget me Nots
I used to feel stress as some others do I’d cry and pout and usually eat the stress away Gaining 5, 10, 15 pounds in the process But at what point does stress become too much? Phase 1- Normal A little stress But less than should cause concern Take a quick pause and breath Till you feel fully awake and ready to handle the whole deal that is worrying you Eating pattern: Normal Phase 2- Intermediate More substantial stress Quite the mess inside the mind Especially in an unkind situation Eat a little more than normal for the sake of taking away the thought of the problem Make a list and stick to it to reduce the impact Don’t place the fist to the wall yet Eating pattern: Calories increased by 25-40% Phase 3- High Stress has reached its max Like a leach ******* the life away Mind trying to stray from the food or the situation But somehow falling pray to both Like a host for a parasite Eating pattern: Compromised. Calories increased by 60-75% Phase 4- Immense Stress too high to handle comfortably Functional human abilities begin to cease Like a paralyzing disease Lies like not feeling well begin to find their way into play through each and every day Not only is the issue stressful but the thought of eating becomes impossible Now more problems creep in with the deep dive swim of an eating disorder side show Eating pattern: Crippling loss of appetite. Calories decreased by 90% I digress to address the source of my stress A world I thought I knew and had nothing left to do but ride the wind with my sweetheart But things fall apart yet the world still spins and at the end of the day the side I’m fearful of wins And now I’m alone and scared of what’s next I just sit here with empty stomach rumbles hoping for your text
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Aug 13, 2018
Aug 13, 2018 at 12:40 AM UTC
Stress Management by An Anorexic
I used to feel stress as some others do I’d cry and pout and usually eat the stress away Gaining 5, 10, 15 pounds in the process But at what point does stress become too much? Phase 1- Normal A little stress But less than should cause concern Take a quick pause and breath Till you feel fully awake and ready to handle the whole deal that is worrying you Eating pattern: Normal Phase 2- Intermediate More substantial stress Quite the mess inside the mind Especially in an unkind situation Eat a little more than normal for the sake of taking away the thought of the problem Make a list and stick to it to reduce the impact Don’t place the fist to the wall yet Eating pattern: Calories increased by 25-40% Phase 3- High Stress has reached its max Like a leach ******* the life away Mind trying to stray from the food or the situation But somehow falling pray to both Like a host for a parasite Eating pattern: Compromised. Calories increased by 60-75% Phase 4- Immense Stress too high to handle comfortably Functional human abilities begin to cease Like a paralyzing disease Lies like not feeling well begin to find their way into play through each and every day Not only is the issue stressful but the thought of eating becomes impossible Now more problems creep in with the deep dive swim of an eating disorder side show Eating pattern: Crippling loss of appetite. Calories decreased by 90% I digress to address the source of my stress A world I thought I knew and had nothing left to do but ride the wind with my sweetheart But things fall apart yet the world still spins and at the end of the day the side I’m fearful of wins And now I’m alone and scared of what’s next I just sit here with empty stomach rumbles hoping for your text
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37
How to lose someone, in the instant. Through the paralleled tunnels of a second, To feel something, ever bending within the palms of your hand. I caught hold of you, somewhere in another dimension. But here you stay lingering upon my realities Keeping me compromised.
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Jun 17, 2015
Jun 17, 2015 at 12:36 AM UTC
Free Write 010
"She is clothed in strength and dignity and laughs without fear of the future" -Proverbs 31:25 A noble woman. Noble - having or showing fine personal qualities or high moral, royal principles and ideals. Knowing this, I ask myself, 'is he worthy of being graced by my royalty?' No. And me, being so fine, why should I EVER have to dry my eyes as a result of his peasantry? [You shouldn't'] Then I think about how moral I am, and all the good I gave to that man, things that no average woman can, [He's silly] So, keeping all of that in mind, I ask myself, 'Should a Noblewoman cry as much as I?' [No.] Lastly, should my dignity, hard earned, clothing me, be compromised for a man with 4 eyes, 1 mouth (full of lies), 2 hands that never had the courage to meet the small of my back, 2 legs that walk around here (arrogantly) like the gold was sitting betwixt his thighs and not mine. [I'm not finished yet] 1 pipe, that I longed for, didn't even care if it was long or... 26 short teeth that I gave my all to make sure were always showing 1 pair of pants that were too tight anyway 1 face that I didn't get to see much, but it doesn't even matter because it wasn't cute anyway. [Hell n-] The nerve of that man. So in strength, I'll move on, striding fearlessly into the future, laughing even after so much suffering, because I'm too fine, too dignified, too good ANYWAY. D, Noblewoman
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Aug 12, 2014
Aug 12, 2014 at 8:07 PM UTC
Virtues of a Noble Woman