sybl - Hello Poetry

I long dreamed about what it'd be like to have my flowers plucked by you. Now I'm realizing that your touch was not a pluck Quite the opposite, actually. You sewed your seed and it was there that Love grew. How sweet it is when dreams manifest Can't stop thinking about that magical forever, when you marched into my Garden and planted your heart in the center of my universe Where it beat And beat And beat Inside of me. And it fit so perfectly As if it were mine all along As if it belonged...

0

Sep 10, 2015

Sep 10, 2015 at 12:00 PM UTC

sybl

-

I long dreamed about what it'd be like to have my flowers plucked by you. Now I'm realizing that your touch was not a pluck Quite the opposite, actually. You sewed your seed and it was there that Love grew. How sweet it is when dreams manifest Can't stop thinking about that magical forever, when you marched into my Garden and planted your heart in the center of my universe Where it beat And beat And beat Inside of me. And it fit so perfectly As if it were mine all along As if it belonged...

16

Finally starting to hear and listen There's only one right way for me to take. My own. Letting go of dreams that involve me forcing . Never gonna be 150 again. No matter how Ideal It may seem. That was what was right for then, Consistency Has never Been key to trajectory No matter how bad I think I wanna be smaller, I will never fit into those jeans Again. Into that box Again. Into categories that have me mad that the orange isn't red as red as the apple When it was never meant to be. Wondering when I'll accept that... I'll never be 150 again.

0

Aug 11, 2015

Aug 11, 2015 at 12:09 AM UTC

sybl

150

Finally starting to hear and listen There's only one right way for me to take. My own. Letting go of dreams that involve me forcing . Never gonna be 150 again. No matter how Ideal It may seem. That was what was right for then, Consistency Has never Been key to trajectory No matter how bad I think I wanna be smaller, I will never fit into those jeans Again. Into that box Again. Into categories that have me mad that the orange isn't red as red as the apple When it was never meant to be. Wondering when I'll accept that... I'll never be 150 again.

29

Today I learned a sad story About my family. The closest family on this side of the Mississippi There were guns and violent words, punches and anger and unthinkable almosts. I wonder how people who love eachother so fiercely, can be brought so low. Lower than any mind could imagine. I wonder how cousins, who are more like brothers, could come to blows, Battling mutual pain that stabs deeper than any heart could imagine. Battling each other instead of loving each other. Today I learned a story of depression, anger, sadness, jealousy, resentment, skeletons, People who are held up so high, and given no cushion in the untimely event of a fall. I know how it feels to be expected to be the model one, the perfect one. I know how it feels to crack under that pressure. What an unconveyable feeling. Today I learned a story of heartache and pain. Today my heart aches for my family. We've lost so much that I think we're struggling to see all that we have left. Each other.

0

Aug 9, 2015

Aug 9, 2015 at 5:38 PM UTC

sybl

Untitled

Today I learned a sad story About my family. The closest family on this side of the Mississippi There were guns and violent words, punches and anger and unthinkable almosts. I wonder how people who love eachother so fiercely, can be brought so low. Lower than any mind could imagine. I wonder how cousins, who are more like brothers, could come to blows, Battling mutual pain that stabs deeper than any heart could imagine. Battling each other instead of loving each other. Today I learned a story of depression, anger, sadness, jealousy, resentment, skeletons, People who are held up so high, and given no cushion in the untimely event of a fall. I know how it feels to be expected to be the model one, the perfect one. I know how it feels to crack under that pressure. What an unconveyable feeling. Today I learned a story of heartache and pain. Today my heart aches for my family. We've lost so much that I think we're struggling to see all that we have left. Each other.

17

I've been missing you so much lately and initially these desperate feelings were dripping in shame. I felt embarrassed to see your name in every 'L' in sight, and to think of you when all of my duties of the day were over and my mind was roaming free at night. Feelings forbidden, I know better than to reminisce and fantasize. I learned long ago that hope was just a comfy lie. I learned long ago that We were just a random time in both of our lives. A defective tree that would never bloom, no matter how much the rain fell and the sun shined... there'd never be any fruit. I know so much, I've grown so much, but still sometimes I can't help but wonder. What if? What if things would have worked out if I would've just stuck it out and gave you the benefit of the doubt? Being a man is hard, finding yourself is hard, life is hard. So many things that come between who you wanna be and who you are. So many questions. I know. Being adopted is hard sometimes, I bet. What if my patience hadn't run out and I wouldn't have run away... I still paint you in my future, like I'm saving your place in line in my life because you have to come back. I need you here. I need to feel you again. So many unanswered questions. Who will I share my forever with? Who will I smolder in passion with until I can't take more so I lay entangled (with you) overdosed on love and life and happiness? How do I explain in my dreams to our [4] babies that they'll never have my nose, or your love for shoes, or my temperament and intelligence, because they will never be.... How do I silence the memories and restore my sanity. How do I go on, officially, and finally, without you who is my happily ever. How many poems until I really feel better. If I could write you back into my life I'd pen all night, but no amount of rhymes and feelings and stanzas will give me what I want more than anything. You. The thought of you doing it all again [but getting it right this time] with some other woman is enough to make me sick inside, so I don't think that thought too often. I know you're bound to someone else and probably me too. But...I still love you. Im still human.

0

Aug 9, 2015

Aug 9, 2015 at 3:39 PM UTC

sybl

But Some of Us are Human

I've been missing you so much lately and initially these desperate feelings were dripping in shame. I felt embarrassed to see your name in every 'L' in sight, and to think of you when all of my duties of the day were over and my mind was roaming free at night. Feelings forbidden, I know better than to reminisce and fantasize. I learned long ago that hope was just a comfy lie. I learned long ago that We were just a random time in both of our lives. A defective tree that would never bloom, no matter how much the rain fell and the sun shined... there'd never be any fruit. I know so much, I've grown so much, but still sometimes I can't help but wonder. What if? What if things would have worked out if I would've just stuck it out and gave you the benefit of the doubt? Being a man is hard, finding yourself is hard, life is hard. So many things that come between who you wanna be and who you are. So many questions. I know. Being adopted is hard sometimes, I bet. What if my patience hadn't run out and I wouldn't have run away... I still paint you in my future, like I'm saving your place in line in my life because you have to come back. I need you here. I need to feel you again. So many unanswered questions. Who will I share my forever with? Who will I smolder in passion with until I can't take more so I lay entangled (with you) overdosed on love and life and happiness? How do I explain in my dreams to our [4] babies that they'll never have my nose, or your love for shoes, or my temperament and intelligence, because they will never be.... How do I silence the memories and restore my sanity. How do I go on, officially, and finally, without you who is my happily ever. How many poems until I really feel better. If I could write you back into my life I'd pen all night, but no amount of rhymes and feelings and stanzas will give me what I want more than anything. You. The thought of you doing it all again [but getting it right this time] with some other woman is enough to make me sick inside, so I don't think that thought too often. I know you're bound to someone else and probably me too. But...I still love you. Im still human.

20

You were born today And I'm thankful for God's amazing capacity to create. But I know that just as God giveth, God also taketh away. I know that just as love blooms, love also withers away. But regardless of trajectories and destinies and fates I'm so glad You were born today.

0

Jul 26, 2015

Jul 26, 2015 at 6:28 PM UTC

sybl

birthday

You were born today And I'm thankful for God's amazing capacity to create. But I know that just as God giveth, God also taketh away. I know that just as love blooms, love also withers away. But regardless of trajectories and destinies and fates I'm so glad You were born today.

6

now that I've seen all of your sides, I have a decision to make I could love you for the man you are ...and the man you aren't, or I could gather my love and walk away. learning to accept that you are you and could never be who I want you to be --made you even more beautiful to me. Because here I am, knee deep in you and you knee deep in me I tread through your dimensions, and with every hardship we survive, I learn to love you a little bit different.

0

Dec 2, 2014

Dec 2, 2014 at 9:28 AM UTC

sybl

Him and His Dimensions

now that I've seen all of your sides, I have a decision to make I could love you for the man you are ...and the man you aren't, or I could gather my love and walk away. learning to accept that you are you and could never be who I want you to be --made you even more beautiful to me. Because here I am, knee deep in you and you knee deep in me I tread through your dimensions, and with every hardship we survive, I learn to love you a little bit different.

10

That is all. The title explains itself. And if I could have back my wasted time, I'd waste it on something else.

0

Nov 3, 2014

Nov 3, 2014 at 9:46 AM UTC

sybl

I Wish I Loved Someone Else

That is all. The title explains itself. And if I could have back my wasted time, I'd waste it on something else.

4

You know that thing that you've been running from? That thing you contemplated, but in the midst of your preparations you realized you just couldn't do? Well here's to seeing it through! Here's to walking in blind as hell. Here's to getting all the way immersed, submerged in it, and liking the way it hurts. To that moment when you realize that you were afraid for nothing and that you can do anything. But fail. Because yeah it'll take a whole lot of grunt, but the second you got to grunting you knew that it was the best hard work you'd ever get to do. You were made for this. Here is to seeing it through. Here's to doing before you even start believing and then letting your actions make a believer out of you. To knowing that now is a better time than ever, and a much, much, better time than never. Here. Is to seeing it through.

0

Sep 21, 2014

Sep 21, 2014 at 11:47 PM UTC

sybl

Here's to seeing it through

You know that thing that you've been running from? That thing you contemplated, but in the midst of your preparations you realized you just couldn't do? Well here's to seeing it through! Here's to walking in blind as hell. Here's to getting all the way immersed, submerged in it, and liking the way it hurts. To that moment when you realize that you were afraid for nothing and that you can do anything. But fail. Because yeah it'll take a whole lot of grunt, but the second you got to grunting you knew that it was the best hard work you'd ever get to do. You were made for this. Here is to seeing it through. Here's to doing before you even start believing and then letting your actions make a believer out of you. To knowing that now is a better time than ever, and a much, much, better time than never. Here. Is to seeing it through.

12

Being a woman, can be hard as hell But you make hell look awful swell.

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Sep 14, 2014

Sep 14, 2014 at 1:26 PM UTC