It has been 12 yrs that you have been my son, alot of smiles and days of unending fun. It seems like yeasterday you was my shadow that followed where ever I seemed to go, my little boy could always make me smile, he was my strength when I was weak and my partner forever this I know. Months grew to years and I charished each one but now the laughfter has been replaced with silence and the eyes that once held joy is now filled with tears. The little hands that once reached to me with kindness and always ready to play, now seems so distant and keeps pushing me away. I miss what use to be. Never will I forget the little soft voice that said mommy,,,,,,,,,,  come play with me.                         ( Thanks to a Divorce)

A piercing call has reached my phone
Screeching in my ears
And calling up a thought that I have hung up
Worse yet I have let you go to voice mail
Your calls ring out in my brain
Telling me you didn't want this
And that you did want it
But I don't know
Your a complex machine
You have to many wires
I can't follow how they are strung
Your functions are endless
And I could have done anything with you
And yet I could not turn you on
And press your buttons
Or maybe I just didn't want to
I was to scared that if you were on
I would take you out and lose you
Because I have lost many things before
And whenever I get used to something
It powers off or is lost or is broken
All this from one call
I'd say it's quite a feat
To call this much out
From the past messages of my mind
Your obviously programed in my memory
Your a favorite a charished contact
And i miss your not so frequent calls

Seven years later, and it still aches.
When I say your name I smile. When I tell a story about you I get the giggles.

You were the sweetest, most precious human in my life. You made my holidays memorable. Never in my life had I ever been treated so well.

You picked me up, we walked together, we talked, laughed, and held hands. For once I was actually Happy.

then it happened..
I broke down. I was broken.

I was the heart breaker, that never meant to destroy love. With each waking moment I charished "I Miss You"

To have that, meant something to me. To be missed. To be loved. There was so much going on that I did not know how to handle it.

I tried to fix it. I tried to renew our love.
I tried.

When you asked me "why do you keep coming out of nowhere?" I admit that I didn't know how to understand that. I took it as why do I keep coming around where I am not wanted.
But I was wanted.
I was always wanted.

Now I sit here. Dark as night. Feelings aside, and I cry over your name.
Maybe it is true that everything happens for a reason, I just wish I knew mine that started this all.

I'm sorry

She couldn't see my face for long.
I told her, I will return to your lap,
But, I was imprisoned in a cage of brutality.
Flesh, blood, chaos were my daily food.
I fecklessly took the taste of these.

There was no lights.
The moon never peeped through the cartain
The Sun would never rise
Only the hunger of flesh was existed.

There was no peace.
It was a day dream of optimists.
They waited for the new sun
And charished a dream of Icarus.

The air was polluted.
Anarchy, monarchy, and cruelty were floated in the air
The only perfume was the rotten flesh
And decomposed body was the mask.

The surroundings was full of music.
Nuclear weapons, guns were the instruments
Tanks, bullets, and bombs composed the melodious song,
Inhumanity was passionate audience.

Today I am a winged bird.
I fly in the boundless sky.
I sing with birds, and take fresh air
The sun, the moon, and the stars are in my feet.
I smell the blooming flower
And observe her inquisitive eyes.

I touch her but she doesn't feel.
I see her cheek burns with tears
Climbs down to my emancipated body.
I call her but she doesn't reply.
Someone holds my body and keeps me in a coffen.
She brusts into tears and scolds me a 'lier'.

They creep
And crawl
Up and down my walls
Skittering from the light
Embracing my shadow
They sit suspended in a dark corner
But oh
Such a pretty sight
Keeps me company
In all hours of each day
Shifting in and out of my focus
But is transparent to the world
My little thoughts
With all of their branches
Reaching and snagging my entirety
But oh
How they tempt me so
Because they know which one is
My most charished, worn down, set in
I hold it in the locker of my mind
It's safe
Even from you

Our love wasn’t made to last, it was made to be charished.