You really messed me up, you know that? You cut me to the core and you don't even care. You used to find any way possible just to talk to me and now you haven't said a word to me in 3 months. You've completely disappeared and the funny thing is that I didn't even know you were a magician. I didn't know I was just a part of your act. You see, I never had you figured as that type of guy and I still don't, in a sense, but how else is this stunt you've pulled supposed to look? We were in love. Or at least I was in love. And I wish I could be angry at you. I wish I could paint you as some cruel man but my heart won't let me. I know who you truly are. You let me in and I saw the depths of your soul and I guess that's why I can't ever play you out as the bad guy. I want to believe you have a reason for not responding, that there's some valid reason for your absence. I want to compare you to your father but as much as I want to, I can't. I can't do that because you're nothing like him; you'll never be. I want to see you in such a cruel manner that I begin to just despise you. I want to hate you. I want to. But I can't. I can't and that's what kills me. I still see you as my moon. Do you still see me as your sun?

They asked me about you today and I swear I almost said, "I'm asking for him too." It's been months, in the realm of time but years in the realm of my heart, since the last time we spoke. I don't understand your absence. I don't understand the silence you've left me with. You said you were almost out of that hole you were in. You said you were fine.
I thought we were fine. I'm left dumbfounded. I'm left with the memories that we had. I'm left. That's it. I'm left. I'm all there is when it comes to the story of us. Maybe I should stop saying that. Maybe I should stop referring to our relationship as "the story of us" cause quiet frankly there's nothing left to be said. There's no story to be said. There was a beginning but there was never a written end. Maybe that's what kills me. Maybe it's the fact that we may have came to an end but there's no words to confirm what I feel. Maybe that's what I need; confirmation. Or maybe I'm just hoping that you'll reply, that maybe you'll miss me enough to see how I'm doing and if life's been treating me well. Do you ever wonder about how I'm doing? Do I ever cross your mind? Does it ever occur to you that I'm longing for the time when you reply to me? Do you ever think about how your absence affects me? I think about you. I tried not to at first but then slowly you started creeping in the back of my mind. Then soon enough you became a thought I wanted to ponder on. You became a part of my life again and you didn't even have to try. I'm bound to you and I used to think that was a good thing. I used to think we had a connection strong enough to withstand anything. I say 'used to' because I'm not sure that me being bound to you is a good thing anymore. I'm afraid to admit that you've became toxic to me again. And maybe it's not the way I want it to be, but that's the way it has come to be and I just need to accept that. It may take some time but I will until the day you come back to me and say you miss me too. Until the day you ask about me. Until the day you come back.