I miss your white glow.
The ethereal being that was you
Before He took you away, so soon.
The crash, the shriek.
Formulas stained with blood
And a crushed future lying there, lifeless.

I hold you crumpled in my palm
Seeing you walking with me,
And surrounding us is just bright white light,
Nothing else guiding our step.
You’re mute, but interested in me. I smile.

The trick in the calculator, the laughter
Afterwards. The letter you showed me proudly,
The kindness that was you, you, you.
No one can replace you,
Not even if you had come back alive.

Shalini Nayar
© 2004

For the first time in decades or whatever, writing anything with tears uncontrollable bursting out of my eyes.  I'm here smoking this joint for the first time as a console me, Since I'm always leading, always heading, but today "Me" The one they believe in during the times of hold me. Is in need of a hold from them, but they'll never see this phase. So yeah, soldier toughen up. That's what I was taught never appear  broken, but right now, my authenticity isn't letting me. as this  tears fall, I let them, for they show me a very sad fact that hope was placed upon odds of fiction, and those odds were tied with a rope of hope that  couldn't hold him. The crazy part is I'm cracking smiles in between these tears. Cause in the end, it's in all these good memories that matter, and in these good memories, that's where that light shined the most. at the end, Ma boey didn't suffer defeat. He was living. We lost a homie, a celebration of the light. Hoodvick was in these tears -Swoo