Stories and poems
Love and shared coffees
Bus rides and jokes
I saw the sun glimmering
The corners crept in
The room became smaller
Breathing got harder and voices became more
My body became a canvas of my own doing
The blood became more and the smile slipped away in the dark
I became lost in a world of Bipolar Depression
With a new mixture of pills of various variety of color
The line between reality and fantasy became blury
Until a line was no more
I found comfort in creating art over my arms hidden by clothes
My days became a mixture of pills and emotional outbursts
It was like falling asleep, slowly at first and then all together
I was destroyed
I was distorted
I was redefined by darkness of late night cries
I was no more
I became a silent void
I became nothing
I became defined by my illness
I became my worst fear
I am a beautiful void
I am
I am
I am lost and captured in a glass jar labeled December Bipolar
I am no more

go on and walk away, there is noting more that i can say,
i never mattered to you anyway.

treat me like a stranger, treat me like a joke,
when my heart is in danger, and all my dreams
gone up in smoke.
make me feel like a fool for ever believing in you,
oh how you laugh and you poke.

i remember when i was your bestfriend,
although it was long ago, when you said
that i became someone that you didn't wish to  know.
i remember all the screaming and the sorrow
that happened after, smoking on the train tracks,
the long phone calls and the laughter,
you were the whole book to me, but to you
i was just a chapter, i remember when you left
me, a broken disaster.

i remember when you told me that i would
see you soon, you crying in the car, when my heart
bursted like a baloon. i still remember all the talks we
had, the friendship, the madness and regret, but that
friendship was lost a long time ago.
i just hadn't grasped it yet.
i guess that i didn't realise that i was so
easy for you to just forget.
all this time i thought you cared,
because of all of the things that we shared,
i guess i should have known, and should have
gotten it through my head, when you let them taunt me
on the phone, and said you wouldn't care if i were dead.

when i was lost, looking for an anwser,
restless and unsure,
i had never felt more insecure.
maybe this person that i'm remembering
was never, who you really were.

EG TEN /V.S/ BLitZ3D

ROUND 1

EG TEN
For the second time around, I won't be too gentle.// You turds can't rhyme for *****, soft as a noodle.// Get rid of that shirt, Wordman, do us a favor.// It ain't bad at all, its just, one size too little.// Ill break you fools in half, straw snapping like a scarecrow// Cowardly lion come out, Monster Smashed you innuendo.// The reason why you got passed by the first time around// Like a girl post some pix up, cut my **** in half, now u goin down// You and Wordman teams up, who cares! a pair of freakin clowns//

BLitZ3D
let um start off first, either way ur a representation of a man in a hearse /hurt um real bad n rubbed his face in the dirt/the pics that I posted was just a ***** in a skirt/sskkirrt! on this *****, like who you ****** with nerd?/ that's a ****** sweater what u talkin bout shirt?/ an what exactly do you think you rhymed off ****?/ ******* from the start, pulled out and drove straight into the curb/ Asian drivers man, they'll never ****** learn/ a coward vs a lion I guess my warning wasn't herd/ why'd you delete the first battle? you coulda reread my words/ then you'd probly remember to go again would be absurd/ but everyone loves a under dog, makes emotion go reverse/ cause then when you go under dog , the wears not even worse/ an no one teamed up on you,/ I tagged in and hulk Hogan lumped a few/ American Dream, elbow jumped at you,/ then to your defense, in ran gorilla monsoon/ the way I see it, the joker popped both of you,/ a heist on ur thread but that's just my point of view./ sights locked retical red, not a sound with the front mount/ knights drop, clown with a crown, and a jester in bed./ leave um slumped out/ /roar/ I messed with his head/ take my advice and this cypher ...just jump out

Round 2

EG TEN
Let um start off first? Now what the **** was that?// Your no king of the jungle, but a little ***** cat!// A blissful of zits in your face a sign disgusting// BlitZed does not show off his face an ugly duckling// My rhyme is in verse, so fresh with multiple gears on my Hearse// You can't spit for *****, so your *** be going in reverse// A fan of hulkamania? That **** ain't real brotha!.// I bet your next line would be "Hakuna Matata!// You ain't no **** Mufasa, your like that fool Scar hangin out With them ugly *** Hyena// I laugh at you BlitZed, I ******, I flip the script with my skills// Your elbow dropped not fast enough a straight kick up your chest!// This is SPARTA!!!! So jump on out! off to the next round// Welcome to the Writer's Creed, A true MC battleground!//

BLitZ3D
if this is Sparta then ***** I'm Gannicus,/ two swords in my hand while u attack with some shallow ****/ your **** right I'm scar and ull still bow down to this/ u wont get to far hyenas surround in the mist/ Hakuna Matata but theres reason to worry kid/ shoot um point blank an laugh as he say the dots are blury miss/ from his stomach out leaks guts an curry strips/ no lines to connect, his souls in a hurry, drips,/ out his mouth like his mom as she dines in nutty bliss/ bust um quick like his dad, his sister we both miss/ a cute little thing, deaf dumb n blind, snitch/ I think not, i broke her fingers, a tight grip/ dropped her leg and screamed Hogan wins/ layed on top of her and counted to three/ donkey punched that ***** in the head an continued to proceed/ so ask her how much I give a **** about writers creed //

ROUND 3

EG TEN
You claim to be a Marvel-Super-Villain-God-Like / If you are Galactus" I'm Lactose - Bacilli / Fermented like Lactic Acids what I spit!/ A genus of original but your just a make belief/ BlitZed please! step it ^ up a bit higher/ Your dealing with an oldskool underground ****** / None of that Kindergarten *****' of entry level / My words may be shallow but yet sharp as a Razor / Your write- wrist slice the veins blood burst just like a geyser / My word plays undefeated so try a little Monster / I sMashed your Baked Potatoe with chives a little butter / On side some bits of bacon a Cub is now a Lion / If you don't understand, im at work im eating Lunch / Im on break and wasted half of my time you little punk/ But its cool It's all in fun and that's what its all about / In a place full of infected A cesspool full of talent / Respect to my opponent a true Warrior of Poets / A Monster Mash Creator, A Master of Salvation / The bad *** Mr. BlitZed, Will continue this ***** later-/ Here at Writer's Creed, or where ever else you pleased/

BLitZ3D
A mutant, a radioactive contusion./My ***, gave it gas, now im ******* moving./Onto the end, the finish line, a ******* shoe in./Im new an, your old news, news i knew and /screws im loosing, as we pretend this battle im loosing, wrap it up with a few loose ends, /confusing, a thriving city, up an left it in ruins./Black cloaked, hooded druid, IV fluids, /Gat broke, firing pin, out i chewed it, trigger squeezed now, told you id do it./Ten teeth marks on the barrel, yea EG blew it./Face on some blue ****, stiff Elmers glue tip, /sticky grip, stick um up, Richy Rich, Jackson upper cuts, a Rampage, no *****./Bomb on the stage, chickens with no cluck./Took a bomb on stage, chicken heads, my ***** well ******./Salmonella poisoning, chocked the chicken, she likes it real rough. /In an out, left and right, my blade keeps the feathers well plucked. /Goose and a swan, I recognize no duck, bad luck, body covered up in the back of the truck./One G, no UN, i see, just me..no pun./Mission complete, no fun, grey skies, trust me, no sun.. rains not done. /Bars run from bars, bring the heavens down from the stars, impacts bombard/even from behind bars locked cars explode far, gorilla tactics, no holds bared, reload the AR/Re-roll a new cigar, as i retold, another page from Scar/12 bubbles Gage the contents of this unmarked mason jar./I know your popping some corny something, but i wasn't listening./Busy kicking it with Popcorn Sutton, drinking an smoking **** in the kitchen./These lines must be glitching, space-time the fabrics ripping./Physics are ******, i need a new physician./Watch as my feet move, roots grew planted in a quantum position./Like Groot, stomp um like a twig, raging tunnel vision./A ton of incisions, a gun mixed with questionable decisions. /A life for a life, changes nothing, for both sides the death penalty still glistens./the only difference is the same as this blunt. *****, BLitZ3D is still hitting. /Next time i roar a warning make sure you ******* listen... /
battle?
Im already bored with you
.....
I pulled a gun
And a sword you drew

****** man
Lurking in the corners
Evil smile
Meanwhile
A child
Alive
But barely
Can't pick of the phone
Who'll answer

A cop,
Rookie
Would be
A vet in time
But the shots
That hit his spine
Hit his soul a lot harder

Almost as hard as
The hits
From a ****,
That used his fist
And never open hand,
Demands not met,
No speech
From the *****'s throat

Silent night
Was supoosed to be
Holy
But the holey stockings
Was a worn out reminder,
The timer hit 12:00
on the 25th
But
A bowl of cheerios
No honey
No milk
Was bold
As the truth
It told
Like
The gifts
Never bought
Or the mall
Never shopped
In the cold

Black ice on the road at night
My car never fought so hard
To follow lights
Flurries proved
To be as blury
As the vision
From sippin
Too much wine
Red stains,
And lipstick
Secrets untold,
Focus on the road
Home is but a couple miles
But another cup
Would suffice
I'm willin to suffer the consequences
What will I sacrafice?
What's the price
For a few drinks
After supper?

Besides,
The bartender wouldnt of offered
Enough scotch
To make my mind alter
He's a friend to me,
What?
You mean to tell me,
That the end of me,
Is in a
Glass of hennessy
Ha!


Hail mary full of grace,
Full of faults
But full of faith
And as she prayed
The lord did praise
Amazed
Life proved to be a maze
But in the haze
A few rays
Would should shine her way
There were 2 sets
Of footprints
But a woman fell
There's been
1 set ever since
Carried
New Born
Born Again
And twice married
Widows tears
On a pillow
Bible never far
Closed eyes
Could still reach
Even in sleep
Wrinkles deep
A hot flash
of her age blinks
on the alarm
1:40
And one 40 year old woman
Who thinks
That if she keeps
His name in glory
Her story
Would end in peace.

I feel the weight of my words
crumble more with every day
that passes by,
like Autumn leaves beneath
my feet.
And I wonder if they ever
meant anything,
or if they ever will again.
Someone once told me that
life is merely a series of moments,
like blury foreign films
watched in a ***** haze.
Our lives are but a silver platter
of stories that can hardly be proven,
only eaten by those who listen.
There will never be certainty
that "then" ever really happened,
that words were ever said,
or even felt.
We are insignificant figures
of organic matter
and restless molecules
that spit out words,
to form phrases,
to form moments,
that never truly occur.
And again,
I wonder if I ever meant anything,
or if I ever will again.

Oh, my blury lighthouse at dawn
don't shine on my bed when I am sleeping
I have almost drowned in this room.
Recently when he said he was okay,
with having another women with us in bed.
This bed was a storm, my dear and I am never a boat goodenough.
I had her hair on my face and the sheet did not smell like him and me.
I almost drowned in the moment he closed his eyes and she put her hand on my breast.
The air was now tears and sea water and her fingertips and her ankle
and his wrist and
everything I managed to see,
blinking, like photographs.
I almost drowned and I didn't want to be at sea,
or be a boat.
Oh, my blury lighthouse at dawn
don't shine on my bed when I am sleeping.
I am safe here and it's dry
but I have already drowned in my head.

When the car door shut & lock clicked on
I step on the gas, home is the destination
Fingers hanging around the streering wheels
I am the prodigal daughter sending mom to her workplace
Solitude is greatest gift, riding solo in my black four wheels
Radio playing but silences gulping
Every turns, every slam on the break
How mesmerizing the way muscle memory takes over

Bandung,
Here we go again, my dearest hometown
Glorified as romance blooming town
Humble city where poor, rich, & in between live side-by-side
Some landmarks greet me like old friends
While much has changed, much remains the same
Blury lights surrounded by the dark sky
Everything is achingly familiar

Nostalgia decided to popped up in the middle of this crowded road
Stillness of traffic, is so relaxing yet emotions tighten my throat
The friction between my skin & the seat belt that pinned me feels real
My memory banks wanders, hunting for some scenarios I buried down deep
My falling out with you

The red lights of the traffic light feels like forever
My fingertips left a steam circle on cold the window pane
Honey, were you sweet on the surface, like javanese giving false compliments just to be polite?
Did you really loved me when you gave me those goodnight kisses?
Were all of these time 'we are' only a forced kinship?
Do you ever regret leaving me for your ego?
Do you remember me?
Do you ever wanted to contact me?
Was my presence not significant enough in your life?
Was the distance washed away all the connection we grew over the years ?
Our "seperate lives" is not to blame. I never found proof, you play innocence all the time
I shrinked, I feel small, hurt, guilty

Switching gears, speeding up, exploring familiar neigboorhood
Heart feels heavy, moral compass kicked in
Wish I could ran away from my gross inaccuracies assumptions
Eyes sting, teardrop slipping
Eyes on the road, won't even blink

I asked myself for the millionth time, if it's really worth the grief
I'm fine, nothing to lose
I got a way much better person that love me now, so why you still haunts me
Accepting, the universe is filtering you out of my life for a good cause
When we're both good enough our path may cross again
I'm still adjusting, please understand
Nope, I don't want you back, at all
You disgust me, it's Bandung that fed me up with this nostalgic spiral

I'm leaving
While much has changed, much remains the same.

Time triangle
.
Time
The pyramidial form bewilders me
It's main focus set in my blury eyes
The triton of fate on which
The  destiny of my feeble soul lies
Of what answers to my poor
Soul seems to seek
.
When will my soul disappear?
Like the smoke from an old man's pipe
Vanishing into the clouds like it never existed
When will I pass from this physical life?
To embark on the  journey to the pillars of the  the world
My soul trembles because he know not bout his departure!
.
How will my soul evanescence?
Like stars fading away to avoid the day
Leaving no traces on the skylines
My soul troubles because he know not about his departure!
.
Where will I die?
Bidding farewell to this world!
Like young bride saying goodbye to
His fathers house
My soul grief for he know not about
His exit!

Balogun David
Drunk

Today,
I don't know why
Nor the exact reason,
I'm sad.

The princels
brushes
On my easel are dry
So my eyes.

I scratch the surface.
It's now more bright,
But still blury
******
Muddy.
Sad.
Today is sad!

My!
I can't paint
Nor write!
My hands are invisible,
So am I

"Sad"

Sadness.
Anxiety.
Depression.
More sadness.
Today is sad.

Today I'm sad.
The green leaves on my window
Cannot tell me why.
They seem cheerful but not I....

Nor the Eco of the wind,
Playing on the water fountain
At the lake,  can't explain
Nor the ducks or the birds
No one can tell me why
I'm sad

Not even my dog,
Who happily barks,
Not even my fat
sleepy cat.

Maybe you friend
reading this lines
Maybe you can see why
And tell me why I'm this sad.

Why my phone never rings.
Why I'm so lonely
Why I feel like I want to cry
When is so beautiful outside.

Why I'm so moody today.
Why my favorite song that now plays
***** so bad.
Am I getting mad?
Loosing  my marbles?

Why no one seems to care
if my soft heart
is broken into zillion pieces,
Or if by the rain in my eyes
They are becoming blind.

And am I mad?
Someone, anyone, tell me please!

Why, of all days,
Today
I have to be this sad....

Another day in the blue
With people who are
Frenemies with the sun as
Hot as a burbinig stove plate
And the day as normal as the safari

Peope lack the energy to
Get thier inquiries so they send me as if i was a deciple a student and they are teachers
But i was raised learning
To do something positive that will in lighten me and never be a sevent to a human they think this is a new day but to me its another day

Another day in the light side
Trying to inhance my tomorrow
Its too blury waiting for the deleting of this day to happen while sitting on a stool and following the shade

Another day

Another day in the blue
With people who are
Frenemies with the sun as
Hot as a burbinig stove plate
And the day as normal as the safari

Peope lack the energy to
Get thier inquiries so they send me as if i was a deciple a student and they are teachers
But i was raised learning
To do something positive that will in lighten me and never be a sevent to a human they think this is a new day but to me its another day

Another day in the light side
Trying to inhance my tomorrow
Its too blury waiting for the deleting of this day to happen while sitting on a stool and following the shade

Another day

the only way for a black to become a star

in this society

is to be labeled a n i double g er

how the **** can i progress?

when i live in a world full of nz

thinkin' they made

when they livin' under the shade

of fear

subjugatin' to white mans stories

catchin' allegory,from the blk pastors

which are part of the plan

confusin' us with our own history

but i learned from the wise,open my eyes

spirits geared towards my mentality

broke the spiritual captivity now im free

from the power of destination

that we try to clutch in this world

ive shed many tears,no longer livin' in fear

laughter is gone cuz i know the truth is here

not scared to embrace it face it

my poor folks we doomed as a society

or better yet the whole **** nation

still facin allegation,from corrupt congregation

labeling thee a criminal to society

influencin' racism thinkin everybody with colored skin

is the perdition to sin,through reality when actuality

they skins pale as ****

nothin' but devils in guise

the serpents on a rise ya better recognize

im coming full throttle

put down that bottle of liquor

got many thinkin they strong???

when ya mentality is waaay gone!!!

high off that **** to get my mind right

blury sight,constant vivid dreams of the spirits at night

just the spiritual world tryna alert me that evil

finna come to an end,battle will just begin

close to armageddon no more lettin up this trigga

that stays hot so **** being a made n__

A winter dusk is falling over the blank sky like blury rain drops smearing a car window
The final execution of Fall before the suns decresendo calls to the spirit of the moon
The snow will come like an ocean iced with fire and will spread drowning everything in its beauty.

There are days when the music is too loud
And the grass looks too green
There are mornings when the **** crows too proud
And mama's cheerful wakeup call sounds too mean

There are days when my dreams seem too blury
When past nightmares seem too scary
There are mornings when my goals are too high
And my arms are too tired to reach for anything but the nigh

There are days when my head is too heavy to lift
When even my eyelids are too heavy to lift
There are mornings when my eyelashes are forced to sweep
My cheeks and be drenched in the tears I weep

There are days when I wake up and wish I had stayed asleep
Remembering how I didn't sleep last night counting sheep
The drowsy feeling of last night lapses into the insomnia of today
And the dreams of yesteryear bounce off my head like a faded light ray

Only on those days when the sweet music doesn't speak to my soul
And the green of the grass might as well be grey,
Do I shamefully and pitifully wallow
In the sweet, sticky, dry tears on my pillow

Only on those mornings when the **** crows continuously, monotony its tone
And mama calls for me to wake up, a few hours after my first wink, in a
voice that's a slow, dull, monotone
Do I shamefully and pitifully wallow
In the sweet, sticky, dry tears on my pillow

Miss Fit

I feel nothing
I see nothing
I smell nothing
It's like all feeling is gone

My heart is beating I think?
But it's all blury and cold

I try to stand up
But My body wont work

It's like im frozen to the earth
On my bed
With no where to go

I hear yelling
My mother voice is what im hearing
She saying my name over and over

I shut my eyes
I feel warm inside

So I open them
To see a fiery hell like place

I shut my eyes again
Hopping it's a bad dream

When I open my eyes
I find myself on my bed
With a pill bottle in my hand

I go downstires to see my mother on the phone
She was talking to him
The one that pushed me to this

I shall cease to be
If I keep up with your pace
Open up and do you hear me
Shallow graceless race.

Finish line is blury
I'm standing here nor there
I wave my arms for help my dear
Your gaze is unaware.

IF YOUD STOP THINKING ABOUT THE OTHER ONE AND FOCUS ON LETTING THE ONE YOU ARE IN, IN THE NOW TAKE ITS PLACE ITS PLACE AND COMPLETE ITS UNKNOWN OR UNCOMFORTABLE PURPOSE IN YOU, YOUD UNDERSTAND HOW IMPORTANT THEY BOTH ARE. JUST BECAUSE IT IS NEGATIVE OR A BAD EXPERIENECE DOES NOT MAKE IT ITS DUTY IN YOUR LIFE ANY LESS IMPORTANT, OR A WASTE OF TIME. I BELIEVE WE GROW THE MOST AND RICHEST FROM THE MOMENTS WE DREAD AND DENY AND PRETEND THEY ARENT THERE. SUPRESS, DRINK…SMOKE…IGNORE THE FEELING…DOES NOT DILUTE IT, IT JUST MAKES YOU LESS AWARE OF THE CHANGE THAT’S HAPPENING WITHIN YOU, WHICH IS SAD IN A WAY BECAUSE YOU KIND OF MISS OUT ON YOURSELF. THOSE ARE SPECIAL MOMENTS, THE HEAVY DARK AND DEPRESSING MOMENTS ARE ONLY YOURS, WE EXPRESS AND UNDERSTAND IT AS LONELINESS, “NO ONE UNDERSTANDS WHAT IM GOING THROUGH” WE CRY..JUST THE WAY WE TRY STAY POSITIVE WHEN FEELING NEGATIVE , SO SHOULD WE GIVE THE NEGATIVE A CHANCE SO WE FIND THE POSITIVE….SO WE ARE PREPARED FOR THE SUCCESS COMING…ITS YOUR JOURNEY, NO ONE ELSES, WORK ON ENJOYING THE WALK ALONE. THE COMPANY YOU MEET IN YOURSELF COULD BE THE BEST YOU’VE EVER EXPERIENCED…YOU SHOULD KNOW PAIN. IM STILL TRYING TO FIGURE IT OUT MYSELF, WHAT I HAVE ACCOMPLISHED IS EMBRACING IT, ACCEPTING IT AND ALLOWING MYSELF TO FEEL. THAT’S WHY I WRITE AND SING AND  SMOKE BEAUTIFUL JOINTS. THE SEEDS ARE SEEN BY MY BLOOD SHOT RED, SWOLLEN, BLURY EYES….SPECITALS, LOL..AND ROLLED SO GENTLY AND LADY LIKE BY MY SHAKEY SKINNY FINGERED HANDS…THOUGH IN PAIN I CAN WRITE, SING…THINK, DREAM…I AM NOT AFRAID OF PAIN, THIS FEELING COMES RARELY…MOST OF THE TIME, I AVOID IT OR TRY KEEP MYSELF AWAY FROM IT EVEN THOUGH I DON’T KNOW HOW IT WILL COME, WHEN WILL IT COME AND WHAT IT MIGHT MAKE ME FEEL INCASE IT EVER DOES…LOL! CONTROLLING WHAT YOU CANNOT ….A MOMENT THAT YOU CANT DO ANYTHING ABOUT IS ONE YOU TRY PREPARE FOR THE MOST BUT WHY THOUGH?
I CAN BOLDY ACCEPT THAT IT IS COMING, I UNDERSTAND THAT THERE IS NOTHING I CAN DO ABOUT IT. I REFUSE TO WAIT OR PREPARE FOR IT BECAUSE ILL NEVER BE SAVED FROM IT BY DOING SO, MY PREPARATIONS ARE NOTHING BUT AN EMPTY USELESS, TIME GONE….WASTED. I CHOOSE TO DO OTHER THINGS SO I HAVE SPACE TO LET THE PAINFULL MOMENTS IN LIFE COME THROUGH AND NATURALLY TAKE COURSE LIKE EVERY OTHER EXPERIENCE IN MY LIFE.