What is this stress
making my belly churn
my skin’s itchiness,
my pulse race?

Could it be from
the financial separation,
kids, career,
general obligation?

New starter to train,
bookweek costume,
book balancing,
bithday cake?

Oh wait, I see—
I can do these things,
all of these things,
with a smile and a grin.

It’s you, ex man (child) of mine
looking lost
that unravels me
too easily.

20 year's ago,
On this day,
Pain brought happiness,
To my mom,
Fate chose me to share a lifetime with you,
It's been a long two decade's,
But very short,
When i really think about it,
It's been a journey,
I would say,
Every moment,
Every friend,
Means a own world to me,
Every experience,
Taking part,
In shaping what i've become,
It's never late,
Happy birthday to me.

So long we've been far away
and now here's your special day
when the world witnessed the coming of a new bloom
with whom my heart will be kept forever in a strong room
a blessed day for you and me as well
no words or wishes can express what I want to tell
on your birthday I feel my heart aching
as your picture keeps, in front of my eyes, showing,
I guess today you'll look as queen,
a glamorous picture of you I've never seen,
for your special day, I have special thoughts,
warmer than any fur coats,
my never ending love, rises, after being so long on his knees,
like the ash brought to fire by a smooth breeze,
your birthday is a blessed day where a gift was given,
and the happiest page of my life was written,
may the mightily lord bless your life forever,
as you blessed my life with your unhealed love fever.

is it everything
you'd thought it be?
Happy 21st my baby boy
forgive me...
as I lay in bed
Remembering
that 21 years ago
I became a Mother
for the first time
you know
and I was as confused
as you were back then
until your tiny little hand
held my clumsy fingers
that feeling...
it still lingers

But where are you now?
Where have you been?

I've been in Hell it seems,
I lay awake every night
I wait for the fright
of hearing your voice
I dream of the moment
I get that choice

Happy 21st Birthday
to my precious,
most coveted
First born Son

Happy Birthday my darling
though you hate me desperately
I say Happy 21st Bithday

It appears you may have made it
*without your Mum...

This is a true story about a couple who were wed after only 6 months of dating
Most folks would have given the relationship years to develop before swapping rings and
having kids.  Keep reading as the story gets better.  

I was on the rebound from a failed first marriage
One I ****** up by leaving a tad bit early
I tried to go back to her after a few weeks alone
By then she was like a spring flower
New bees were vying to collect her pollen
I couldn't believe only two weeks had passed
And I was denied a vital second chance
I was crushed but only a few years later
My second wife showed up at my party but she was dating another
I finally was able to arrange a date and from  that night we began our journey
We agreed to get married after 6 months of dating
October 27 1979 was the date and it is still etched in my memory
I had found a woman to take away my pain
It's been years of ups and downs and 3 children raised are out of  our house
Mirinda is child number one and married now with 2 kids in tow
Alex is 27  now and has a wedding to plan
Ashley our third still hates her dad
My wife Becky has been my rock since day one
The best mother and now with a promising career that's made me proud
My career has taken many turns
I have only had 3 good jobs over the years
I was a banker before I got greedy
Then a logistics coordinator at two other companies
It was drugs that caused me to do some stupid things
But I always able to rebound and get clean '
Then find another job  and look for a match
One  that would pay me more cash
I was so lucky not to have died from years of abuse
I quit the drugs but my body wanted another Vice
So on to beer and then  hard *****
A lot of nights spent going to bed early
And not paying enough attention to my wonderful spouse
She began to feel neglected around her 54th bithday
She was so depressed she started looking up lost loves
Instead of confronting her aging husband
She began searching the web like a devious soul
She was tired of not getting enough attention
I was blind and did not see it coming
My wife soon was on the phone an talking to an old flame
Soon after they met and it was all in friendship
I found out later after I had checked phone records
That was last January, the third I remember
In that short time I was using again and my jealousy took a nasty spin
I believe she was seeing some other guy as her card charges caught my eye
After eight weeks of truths and lies I was supposed to believe her and stop
But I kept on  playing cop after promising to stop on several occasions
Last Saturday she had had enough and left our home in a puff
She came back with 4 cops in tow and took some belongings and then went out the door
It's now Thursday and I am in my bedroom closet
It's now my makeshift office but it serves my needs
I sent one final e-mail to my beautiful wife
Asking for forgiveness and to came back home
But no answer back as I expected
Looks like I will soon be single
And then I can party and mingle
But why am I so **** miserable?


To Becky if you read this ...Can I have a final kiss?