My chest compressed, I can not breath
And everything around me bleeds
Trapped in the rabbit hole
Where no one's supposed to go

I think me and the Mad Hatter will get along splendidly
We climbed into the tea *** boat and sail the crystal sea
And dine upon the walrus hide
We just can not be denied

Oh what fun we had sunning on the shore
All the clams gather round us,we was so adored
Oh look over yonder there is a door

Well Mad Hatter I've got to go but I shall be back
If I have to put that rabbit in a sack
To make him bring me to this wonderful place that I adore
The Mad Hatter looked at me sadly, don't open up that door
Your being silly I won't stay gone long
But something was very wrong

I opened it quickly
And what I saw made me sickly
For behide that forbidden door
In a pool of my own blood I was lying on the floor

Ill never forget leaving , I didn't want to go , my heart so full of love for you it's truly breaking slow , I remember staring at you , holding you like this , never knowing back then this would be our final kiss . I stare up in the moment we have dreaded from the start , when we got back together exchanging promises to never part . I take your hand.. I kiss it softly.. I really have to go ,watching every step away regretting on you letting go. Then am gone and you vanish , I look to catch one last sight, But your not there anymore and I have to catch my flight, But I steal myself one moment and stare at that empty space .. For you will never fill my eyes again .. Ill never see your face.

Sent from my iPhone

their is a song in my
head that will not go away
whatever i do does not help it go away

it comes back and i think pending on what
what i think about on what
the words mean and the meanning behide them and i add them to a song

everday when i wake up a new song pops up and i write it down
and im done w a new pome or song hoping that it will get out

and people will love

people reading them and knowing what i mean makes me feel good
and knowing that i am doing what i love to do

Confusion.
Why do I do this every **** time?
Do I enjoy the pain of others or the guilt that comes after?
I will never know.
The answers lie out there.
Deep under the calm white blanket.
Remaining free and untouched.
I can feel the silence.
It soothes me and relieves me of this confusion.
Why make everything so **** complicated?
Everything should be as simple, as pure, as silent as the calm white snow.
But its not.
Do you see the silence behide her eyes?
Its because she's burning.
The silence hold the secrets of the mind.
My life is a fire that blazes through everything I touch.
It melts the beautiful snow around me and turns it to slush.
This fire will never extinguish.
It burns me inside so intensely.
But I love the flames they are loud.
So I guess that means,
Ill see you in the summer.

No one ever told me about the feeling when someone falls out of love with you.
No one told me about the heart break after it all.
All these fairy tales and love movies never show you the real pain behide love.
Love is not a beautiful thing.
I would probably say I hate love.
Sadly but love never works out for me.
I'm always the one to love to much.
And get heart broken in the end.
I'm always the one who gets way to attached and when you leave me
I can't cope.
I replay every reason why you would leave me.
What did I do wrong?
Over thinking is one hell of a drug.
Cause it can destroy you.
It can tear you piece by piece
Until there's nothing left of you.    
I would love to see a fairy tale
That shows me the princess
Falling in love with the prince
Who didn't love her
Like she loved him
And her getting heart broken and maybe I'll understand love a little bit better
Then I do now.

The icey cold cool mindless night
falling dropes motionless life
might it never end
It's touch is your mind
heart races faster
high on the feeling
but a wast of time
one there will be no high
just do to lost the pain
hide the icey cold dropes
with not to try
but not to sigh
just to lay to die
motionless is all you need
nothing more
just the secrets behide a closed door

I wish I could clap my hands and close my eyes and wake up seven again.
I want to change it all. I think seven the perfect age to start again. I would not be so shy and quite. I would have gone to the party's I was invited to and be young and make new friends. I wouldn't have been so scared of life. To live. I always thought to much and as a child I should of been carefree. Laughed and ran in the woods at camp with Sam just cause we could of. Worked harder for things and not just do it cause it was the easy way. Softball seasons started and I wanted to be on the team so bad but never tried out. Didn't ride on the Roller coaster with Marshall cause I was shy and scared of both him and the ride. Didn't go to my prom after his asked me and I ignored him every single time or the last dance. Never got high on the trail behide the mall after school. Never did anything to look back and say yes I had the time of my life when I was a child. I had openings and offers be never did. Never did anything. Anything to be proud of. I feel like I'm nothing and the 19 years have been **** and I don't like it. I don't like that I sit in my room as the world is out there and is moving. I don't like that I have no body in my life to call a friend. I don't like that I have done nothing with myself and I'm a waste of a human. I don't want to work for a body I've been dreaming of when I could of had it if I changed or did one little thing in the past. I don't like where I am or where I'm going so why keep on trying to be something when I'm going to be nothing?

so trust me i moved on in my life at the end of my road i see a dull knife i pick it up and my veins start to bleed i feel my becoming light as a leaf, i take a second to stop and think about how my life is ****** up way to hard to believe. i dropped the knife and it disappeared, all i see is scars for real. the cuts were so deep that i still feel the pain my heart just dropped and shattered to about three hundred  pieces. my feet gave out and knees gave in, so then my head started to spin i woke three days to find when you broke my heart you ****** up my mind, my head is broken and it is trying to leave you behide but in the thought of it all one day i will be fine

you will never know the pain behide the glass
it will never be unmasked
you will find nothing be hide the mass
words cant save a soul
all time can tells a black hole
life as you know it will take us all
try to stop the war of hell
pain will try to take your bell
crying treas will never stop fighting
darkness hides in what left of the light
life's sung it's last might  
good- night

Your reflection staring right back at you
You have to wonder is what your looking at true
All the lies you may have told
All the secrets that you hold
Deep inside they hide
What you see you cant describe
Sometimes i deny that its me
Who's staring back looks so free
Is it me im looking at
Is it me who's looking fat
Somedays i dont recognise myself
Whats with my eyes and my health
The past left its footprint
When i just wanted to sprint
Things i cant forget
Things you wont get
But the past is behide us
Thats why we can trust
But trust me i wouldn't
I tried myself but couldn't
It all comes down
To when you turned around
And saw someone else
Not me or myself
Staring in my reflection
Feeling the rejection

tired eyes,
drooping eyelids,
the ceiling is a old picture to be seen,
the paint is dull,
the stars dim,
the paintings crumble,
in this old room i lay,
my eyes open,
sleep is out of reach,
yet for a moment when the clock strikes 3:00 am,
i see something out of the corner of my eye,
a sharp point end,
a arrow's end,
red bumpy skin,
i think i forgot,
my clock is three hours behide,

so isn't it twelve?

the devil's hour?

then why do i feel like i'm the devil here?

their was once a girl I knew,
it was no way to know i didn't compare,
for she flatters me with words,
and yet i always seem one step behide

she reminds me of the night,
my favorite time of day,
when i think of her,
beautiful comes to mind,


she can sing high and low,
shush any baby to sleep,
i wonder if she realizes,
how lucky i can be,
we all see our own flaws,
sometime blind to other's,
yet i swear i'm not blind,
she has no flaws,

i'll keep my promise to this day,
i'll try to be her knight,
even if we may be far away,
we'll meet again,
and that day be one of the best days i ever had,

so, my squeaks, don't go to heaven just yet, wait for me.

Lips are red wine tinted..
Mind is hazed with moral thinking..
The ultimate anomaly that is me..
I fade behide society.
I never reach for normality
I am the me that I must be.
No conform that I must seek..
I dont need u to question me!

i can't understand what it means to be lovers anymore,
you left me bewildered,
you said that we were friends being stupid,
instead of being lovers,
we were killers,
killing ourselves,
together

-----

i thought,
i thought i cared for you gently,
treated you like a diamond,
never raised my voice,
i thought i didn't smother you,
but in the end,
i could not control,
the words that escaped your mouth when you said,

                "its over."

-------

lets play strangers,
and be losers together,
but when the day ends,
we'll shall forget everything,
to go back to **** and nerd.

--------

little raven,
why you leavin?
why you leavin your home?
you dropped your phone,
in mid-flight,
leaving behide,
a note and a black feather,
of betrayal.

It all happen so quickly I was way over my head
I jump in with no clue with what I was capable of
Confusion hit me first deceiving me of my natural feelings
Anxiety was next snatching away the patience of what there is to come
Confidence was install hiding behide the lack there of
Curiosity didn't make it any better for I was suppose to know already
Happiness is out the door cause we have no window to throw it out of
Deception follows with taunts of those who are there just to be nosy and share no anticipation to help
Angry plays a part with deception giving an ultimatum
Though Love is the key that gets me through it all and let's me be thankful I have another day to feel these feelings.

Based my life from the corner
In amidst to going forward
Threw blankets on flat floors
Hung lights on back doors
With a limited amount of space
Choices made with consensual looks behide your back
Gratitude attract bad vibes without enough love to go around
Trust is a word for those who knows what it means
Back against a wall in disputable values
Confused and off track of how to deal with problems
Asking what's real self control keeping inside myself from closing within
Custer
On the edge literally can't get a grip, it's a trip
No one around wants to save you or have the intentions
Brace between two walls taking initiative cause I might be here awhile....

Shy girl

Hiding behide a smile
Thinking of what to say
Not sounding like a fool
Finding time to run a hide
Doesnt know what to say
Doesnt know what to think
Doesnt know what to do
Feeling down
Feeling used
Crying insdie
Why cant you see
What cant you make time
Driving insane
Virtually world
Dreaming of you
Caring
Loving
Shy girl hi

Mystery girl

Never know where she be
Never know how she be
Never know why she be
Hinding pain  behide her smile
Crying in a darken room
Thoughts running through her head
Doesnt ask for much
Living under  a rock
Looking for her clock
Setting time for space
Is hoping you remember her
Not knowing her is a waste of time
There a mystery in her eyes
Taste of sexiness on her lips
Bedroom madness
Sadness days
Happiness craze
Loving soul

Do the demons that hide behide my eyes 
sell out my soul before I open my mouth
Do the way my arms fall around my body
Indicate I am lonely
I am sad?

At what point in my pathetic life did I just become this bag of lopsided dough?
When do I become so vuenrable 
Willing to let anyone become a friend
Instead of protecting whats left of my fragile heart
Coffee stirers for bones
wine for blood
nothing for me

Why can't I just feel love
Why does love make me feel so guilty
Why is it everytime I think of love
You're the 1st person to come to mind
Why is it everytime I try to fill this void you left in my soul
It is so unfillable
I know you say you did this out of love
But if this is love, then I dont want to know the other words meanings
hate,
abandonment
Youre not good enough
youre not special

Why do you ask about my brothers and my parents
while i am the person talking to you
Do i not exist?
Do the demons that hide behind my eyes 
Tell you secrets behind my back?
Do you know I stay awake wondering
what life would have been like if we would have stayed together
When did I become so vulnerable 
ready to attch myself to the first thing with a heart beat
Why do I let myself feel such strong connections with temporary people
Or maybe its because I hope theyre permeant 
I guess more importantly why do I still blame you
I mean its been 23 years 23
I have gotten over some pretty rough breakups faster
I just can't wrap my head around this
Was I not special?
Did I not matter?
Or did I matter to much
You never ask about me mom
Maybe its because I dont have any deformities or disabilities
Because maybe if I did you would care about me too
I feel like you didnt care at all
I felt like your life's mistake
Maybe i dont have to tell you this
I dont know who I am
Wynona, Ashley, Sapphire or WAS
I was someone
Somone who was burned for love

Shy guy

Hinding behide a smile
**** eyes
Lips taste amazing
Shy half the time
Cute and smart
Foolish at times
Doesnt know what to say
Doesnt know what to think
Doesnt know what to do
Wants to but doesn't
Nervous
Girls  have his attention
But one is all he needs
Take billions in time
Some times wonders why
Wants to run and hide
Shy guy hi.