IS THIS WORLD CHANGE,
OR CONTINUE TO SOME AGE…

WHO CARES

The Earth is big enough for carrying us,
But no one here for caring us.

Everyone stabs on everyone’s back,
Peace and love what every being lacks.

What that costs,
was morals and ethics are lost.

Here ,relationships are just for name sake,
Belief and trust all are fake.

Friends are used,
Then abused.

Just for achieving,
Are you going to live in this world just for receiving,
And not giving???

No one dares,
To share
their emotions,
As this fake world laughs and giggles on their notion.
In Every motion.


Every one thinks of their gain,
Not thinking of others pain.

Backbiting and back chatting is what we are doing
Throughout our life,
Has become an indispensable part for ours to survive.

Help them oh! God,
To open their eyes
Or else time will show its disastrous styles...

Shake your hands forgetting all evils and bads,
And withstand the ladder of life.

Then neither will cry nor fight,
for their rights.

“LIVE AND LET LIVE” is the golden rule to follow,
Make this your goal,
Till you leave your body and become a great soul.


Make this world as it was,
With no over-population,
And pollution
All that it has…

He was sitting still in front of his majestic grand piano, looking for an inspiration in the most desert part of his heart.  He couldn’t create something wonderful if it hasn’t touched him, it must have been part his, part universal, connected and combined in the purest art of all.
Silence.  
The memory of sweet homeland and childhood.
In his mind he could see a little boy, lost in the water while the storm was getting closer and closer. The fear of unknown was getting from the fingertips till the top of his head, this image was haunting him. Nobody could save him, it was getting darker and colder, he was losing his breath, his will was taken, he was left alone in despair.  
             But then his fingers touched the keys and the charm was thrown. His pain revealed in the enchanted melody of nostalgia which he could never express with his words. Everything around seemed to follow the captivating tune, with his music he bewitched the world. It was his way of screaming for help, revealing the pain, but this would never be understood, the others only followed the sweet melody which was too wonderful to make it stop. The water kept floating.
          Frederick kept playing, reaching further sheets and layers of his mind, his body in convulsions, sweat falling on the keys. Was he crying? I missed it so many times, just like everyone else, I just wanted to listen to his melody. He would never be understood by us, just a rare paradise bird singing his song using his fingers. Maybe he loved his piano because it was the only thing which let him be, let him reveal all the secrets of his soul that only music could understand. Behind the instrument he knew exactly what to do, he drew unforgettable images, wrote words of love, lasting, romance and pain, mostly pain.
             The music was his fortune, the music was his torture, letting him see more suffering inside him, feeding him with uncertainties about himself and life… but keeping him aware, that it is in deed the only reason for him to be alive. Even though the rest never understood the sharp notes and the essence of sad melodies, he was still reaching their souls, the parts of the souls which would always answer to the pure beauty. There was that part of art which would never be understood, even by the author, but you would still feel the shivers.
                 Apart from his music he was lost, out of space, lonely in affairs of life. The feelings were connecting and breaking at the same time, love and hate, joy and sadness, he must have kept playing faster and faster, running away and getting closer. He was the lonely boy losing his breath under the water, he needed support and logic in this crazy world. Things were breaking into pieces with every note, nothing in life was just black and white, at least in music he could see the beauty of mathematical perfection, every sentence put in the right tempo gave him comfort and peace. Sharp notes which exposed his anxiety made him sure of the concrete stability in music, the only thing he had under control, the only thing he could really understand, the only thing in which he didn’t need to pretend, he was himself, with his goods and bads, and mostly the bads.
His fingers were reaching to the final chords. He touched the keyboard once again, giving it gentle goodbye, his confession was over. He had to rest now, the little boy for safe for a moment, the music has rescued him.

The lights in Beijing,
They are trying to imitate the stars,
Their falsehoods only ring true with the right song,
They only loose their deception in fake smiles,
And long standing words,
That have only little meaning left,
The waves in honolu,
Are trying to be the calming breath,
They only loose their depth,
When you cant believe your back at smitty's again,
When you see your last 5 spot,
And you know where it's going,
They can't calm you to sleep anymore,
The mountains in Denver are wanting to be Gods,
But they loose their glory in giant snow storms,
That make you feel like your fingers itch and numb,
Their Godhood is called into question when she won't wake up in bathroom stall,
And when you can't see the stars,
The heated wind in Phoenix,
Wants to be your warm blanket,
It just looses it's luster when you want to open your eyes to who you are,
When you can't breathe because of looks from far away people in far away minds,
And if you just need that cigarette to put the day behind you

The lights in Beijing shine true,
When the right song comes on,
And their glow is the hope that's left,

The waves in ol' Honolu breathe calm,
When you decide to go home,
And see your hopeful tomorrow,
Waves

The Mountains in Denver,
Are paying Godly attention,
When the sun comes a shining,
And remind you exactly where you are at,
The whisper,
It's exactly where you need to be

The hot windy days in Phoenix,
Show their comfort,
Dancing with dust and spinning with leaves,
The love of life always around,
And no matter where you are,
You just might be home.

where the pumpkins choke on campfires
and all the noise is a weekend-
staving off the solar flares
of an absolute
pyre.

strong lemonade for my perpetual disquiet.

in the bads
where the goods
go mad
and the hours
at hand-
stifling
as you wave
to reverse
an advance
but complete
a full Curse’
on a
Half-Life.

there are songs that are too many things
and catskills and blarney, jumbled out of focus
to appease the unnecessary Agency
of our Practical Demise.

in the bads, we return from somewhere that left when we did.
love, an Impala with an open mind
made of thorns as ratched
as a claim.

and a blind wine.

He is standing still.
For the world he had been betrayed by,
He had lost his grip on hope.

Dear,
Yang telah kau pegang erat itu
Hanya seutas tali
Seutas cerca.
Jangan kau harap tali lusuh itu
Membawamu maju
Tali itu kuat menarikmu
Mundur
Walau perlahan
Tak membuatmu maju

Betrayal is a gift, sometimes
Betrayal is a chance for you
To change what you've been given
To prove them that you are more than who you are
To be yourself, to find yourself

If betrayal is a living thing
You should smile to him sometime
Even if it hurts you
Because it is the worst way to hurt your enemy

Karena nanti kau tahu
Kau ditinggalkan
Untuk diberi kesempatan

Karena mungkin di antara kesempatan itu
Kau menemukanku
Atau yang lain
Yang lebih seiras denganmu

Almost a thosand years
You've been wandering
Finding goods
But only found the bads

I am standing still
Healing the world
So you can live here with me

It's Raining but the Rain doesn't make me wet, or at least I don't really care if it gets me wet.
It's cold but the cold doesn't give me shivers, I'm too **** out of mercy to shake out of pitty.
Has anyone ever thought if the rain and the wind perhaps needed some matrimonial consulting?
Maybe I should get a Master's in "Reverse Psychology" and later try a Phd in "Sarcasm Applied to Tradicional Knowledge".
You see,I got a bachelor's in Cinema and TV Production when all I wanted was to write a story about a broken man who loved another human being too much, or perhaps in case of not enough budget, a dog.
Yes... I'm that frustrated if you fancy going around your mind wondering and doing wrong judgments on my personality.
**** I really think the rain and the wind need some matrimonial consulting.
Anyway...
How can you ask sorry to a clown for not laughing?
How can you ask sorry to a wife for not loving?
How can you ask sorry to humanity for waking up after 1pm?
How can you ask sorry to your own body for letting it get all soaked wet?
You would be surprised by the amount of people in the world that don't know how to take a decent coffee and still don't ask sorry for it.
It's not like I'm trying to justify my own bads but these people should definitely ask sorry for theirs.
Alright now, You may be wondering why am I here?
Well, I'm here because I dont have anywhere else to go.
I'm here because I told my now ex girlfriend that 'Im tired of doing everything around home when actually I do nothing at all, so she got all upset and told me to leave,then I told her I wouldnt leave since that was my apartment as well, when actually that was really only her apartment, which she has been paying the rent and bills with the good amount of cash she has been getting from her suprisingly good position at Mills&Albert; Lawyers Company.
She's been ******* the boss anyway...
Well I guess, can't prove it... actually I never thought of it before, just now.
Again not trying to justify anything here.
You know...I've been this kind of guy who spends too much time doing nothing and the rest of the time hiding books that I want, but I shall never read cuz Im too lazy, behind the shelves of the library, so no one can take them away from me.
It's all my fault anyway.
I should have become a doctor of some kind or an engineer or a movie star or a rock start(I knew how to play the bass really fine)but instead I chose to be a loser, and let me tell you that's a pretty hard decision to make... and a brave one as well.
It's like you are sacrificing all your talents in behalf of the world, because the world needs losers to pin down "shame levels" which you shouldn't reach.
Alright Maybe Im just trying to justify something here but anyway... now it's done, now it's too late, isn't it?
Talking about late... I don't think there are buses this late.

Why do I hide behind these lies?
Is it the fear of losing solace?
And when I look up at these skies,
the rain keeps falling,
         down the gutters,
                    my heart flutters,
                                my mouth stutters,
We both know hurricanes won't mix,
we tried all the tricks,
even looked for how each clock ticks,
after years and years,
           tears and tears,
                      fighting fears,
                                peers will leer,
But my brain rains these thoughts,
wood from shipwrecked hulls will rot,
and I just sunk the whole lot,
after you just ran them across the rocks,
are they for naught?
            did we ever have a shot,
                       or stand a chance.
                                  even if the sands,
of time fill these wounds,
and we split to different lands,
try different goods, see different hoods,
new bads, new goods, I don't know if I should.
                           Surprise! This flood has no bad blood.  
                                         But the currents are strong as ever,
                                     So cold they'll cause a fever,
       but so hot she'll make you believe her.
            These temps amp up intensity,
   ripping the leaves from the trees...
                             cars from the roads,
                           tongues from the toads,
                                     toads from the ponds,
                             ponds filled with more debris.
                             tears fill my mind, can't even see.
                                 Storms so mad they can't even flee,
                                                           ­                                 
                                                    each-other.
­
Are they too intense to even bother?
       Will they rip apart from the purest pressure?
              Or combine for a superstorm of pleasure?
       Even the bright sky could see that treasure,
And yes we felt light as feathers,
       But when we are long together,
              The people can feel the weight of such pain,
       and we'll both continue to rain, such a shame.
And an obvious candles flames still burn,
       causing me to toss and turn,
            So from you, I wish to learn but only burn...

Sometimes a pleasant shower and sometimes show her power;

Up to the expectation of someone or becoming a curse for someone;

Many feelings many reactions for the same drops by the same people;

Ask a trader whose skin pores are dry after a long time, how happy he is?

Ask a farmer who watered his young grains last night, where his smile is?




How can be you so unexpected so partial, to give joy and sorrow;

When the cold breeze blow sprinkling the droplets of water;

Lady of the house standing by the window letting her hair go;

With a dancing heart like a peacock, wishing to get dissolve in air like sugar in water;

But what about those droplets which became bullets for a Fishermans cottage;




Oh! Lord Indra are you unaware from the pain and vain of earth;

Sitting in nirvana are your blessings forgotten to be at right time;

Why there are floods and drought faces of yours;

Why can’t you be always symbol of joy and satisfaction?

Joy that a child feels in facing towards raining sky;




Rain oh! Rain don’t make us wait, is this our fate?

Questions sweated bodies looking towards the sky;

Sun overhead, shining mercilessly, extracting water of earth;

Farmer sitting with bending knees can’t even spot a single cloud;

Lands and roads are as dry as faces of people, asking the same question;




All hells and heavens reside here only;

Goods and bads, joys and sorrows, gifts and penalties;

Nothing is in hand of anyone, none can stand against divine powers;

Good and evil happens because god wanted them to happen;

It’s all written somewhere, by someone, for everyone, "MAKTUB"

I am the bads deliverer
And i deliver bads.
I deliver all the things that disappoint you, make you mad.
I drive my van right to your door, and arrive just as you leave
So i write a 'collect later' note impossible to read.
I deliver all the products that just aren't quite what you ordered,
Like a t-shirt just one size too small, or a photo wrongly bordered,
I miss one meal off your takeaway, give you beef instead of prawn,
I tell you 'between 9 and 12' and then arrive at four,
I fill a van with fragile things then hit every speed bump;
But the worst thing that I've ever done is deliver Donald Trump

Winter is cold, with gusts of tumbling snow
When rain falls down and nothing ever grows
For children it's the snow that they desire
And cups of co-co in front of the fire

When winters gone, the grass grows green again
Roses and Tulips sprout, with bright green stems
The bees are buzzing, the birds are singing
Sheep are grazing and cow bells are ringing

And then the sun starts to shine too brightly
It's so hot that fans are put on nightly
And so then it's off to the beach or pools
Where people swim about just to keep cool

All the leaves on the trees turn golden-brown
And when on the ground make a crackly sound
In autumn a lot of money you make
For clearing backyards of leaves with a rake

Each season has its own goods and its bads
But since they are all different I am glad!

I am in love, and in love with him;
I'll love him t'night, under th' moonbeams;
And who shall say-t'at he's really mean?
As far as I know, he's funny and keen;
I am but trapped, between his West' worlds;
Too polite for poems; too tactful for words.
I'm alive no more, by my Eastern wings;
Only a poem at nights; but none on mornings.
I seekest only him thus, with such eyes so blue;
A promise faint still, but delights so true.
I loved his yesterday, and shall do his tomorrow;
I loveth him like t'at-within th' very here and now.
Ah, but shall he ever perfectly know-
T'at I singeth his songs, and painteth his rainbow?
And should t'is lasting love ever transform;
I too wouldst change, I'd take any form.
I may not be within his green leaves;
But I'll 'ways be t'ere, even in his tears.
I am to be th' queen within his throne;
And owneth his secret, intended for my eyes alone.
His skin is even brighter than t'is sunny day;
His blue eyes were mine in dreams, and th' whole of today.
I am th' lover of his goods, th' charms of his bads;
I loveth him happily, and sacredly; in flesh and in all my head.
And whenst my soul he began to tease,
All I ever wanted was to share his kiss;
And by him I feelest but peace,
No dire annoyance, just one secret bliss;
And 'tis his lips t'at shall be my taste;
What a love t'at groweth-but never is in haste!
Ah, and I wanteth to taste just his watery breath;
So let's just hope t'at t'is world hath no death-
At least no death before he is mine;
Th' one I hath yearnt for, th' one on my mind;
And perhaps love canst be direly ill;
But none canst presume aught; nor what I might feel.
And whenst but cometh th' shriekings of fall;
Still 'tis his voice, t'at I loveth at all.

all else is hidden
letters, words, sentences
a mystery - kept secret
locked away behind towering fortresses
within overgrown labyrinths
the way in lost among a sea of keys
disintegrating at your touch
metallic ashes wafting through your grasp
drifting along the breeze of
"oh wells" and "too bads"
you watch the current
swirl away with your dreams
your perfect girl
white picket fence and dog
caught in the cookie cutter net
bobbing away
out of reach
that elusive H.

I am building my shack in the depth of the woods,
So I'll never be bothered again.
They assume that I know all their bads and their goods
And I must give advice there and then.

Yes, I'm wearing a robe and I walk in the trees
With some animals running along.
I can heal your disease with some mushrooms and teas,
But I can't make you manly and strong.

I am one with the nature, but everyone asks
For some philter or prettier face.
I am tired of silly and pointless tasks,
So I moved to a prettier place.

Now I finished constructing this dwelling of mine
Where I'll hide from the rest of the men.
I'm not angry at them, they are perfectly fine,
When their mind isn't that of a hen...

He wrote upon the walls, in the abandoned halls, of his misfitting ways.

Wayward were his days, of poetry, motioned in the passionate oceans, in which he played, the songs of his state in grace.

Alone and zoned for a beautiful place, in candle lit eloquence he commenced, in subtle hints, of tomorrow.

Deplorably adorable, he swallowed the sorrow, of the pity of a horrible city of broken wit.

Smoking from his eyes, he politely denied, the open spaces and spotlights, in the flickering pieces of his soul thesis, scrawled in black felt, from a disharmonious whelp of feel bads.

Misguided and still glided onto the path, with his hand out, he shouts aloud,  lashing out, to pull the weak in, to see the sun again, as it shone through the broken window upon his heart, departing from him, the dark that killed him.

can it just stop?
this pain, well can it?
if one more time it wins thid game,
i swear to you i will drop,
this wretched life and all the bads
this pain will never pass,
so thannkful yet im still mad,
so when will this ordeal pass?
can it just stop?

When life gets hard and you want to give up just think about what you have accomplished so far. Think about the good things life could bring out of the bads. Always remember to walk with your head up high and prove to the world you made it. never let the fear of not doing stop you from achieving !!!!! Maturing is the key to life . Teaching yourself how to be strong takes courage, never let anyone tell you that you can't do it. Do what you want go for your dreams never let anyone tell you that you can't be someone greater than what you are now.

He still got it,
We still got it
And I know it, I've always known it
You'd come up every year or two,
Kept thinkin how I bet I still knew you
We were mad, little bads just havin fun
Summertime, only time we ever had free run
Just kids, n when they click it's real
Sandbox love, mhm, for real

Tears behind her eyes
Moisture between her thighs
She clenches hard at the wet bed sheets

Thrusting through his lies
She tried to stay quiet
Because he told her not to make a peep

He said
"Dont tell your mother and
Dont alarm the public"
He made her believe she was wrong

"No one will believe you
Or ill make sure no one ever sees you
If you tell then youll be gone"

She questioned if god was ever listening
Or whyd he make it happen
Or does he even exist

But just know god is always watching
And something bads gonna happen
To the man that took her innocense.

Years later
shes all grown up
But has issues trusting men

She watched on tv
That a man of 43
Was murdered once again

She got on knee
And thanked him
for him even to bother

"Its been a long time
Wasnt sure you was there
But thank you
For punishing my father"

AiaiaiAI!
I broke the bads ****!
beyond the saddened eyes of a Notorious Funkyman

As if me were you
just to catch an incognito glimpse of you

Oh how I wish that'd stayed a joke in town
haven’t ******* like a bird on my head n  convert me to a punk
cannot turn't back
such an irrelevant inconvenient run
was dark dark
dark brown
beyond the thickening curtains shattering gossipers
at hours before the break of dawn

I don't do with tarot cards
my heart longing burning for your mirage
allows me not visualize

truth as is cruel
so I blow a puff
high tigh tight yotabye
n bluff you up
only how I wish was that a dream now but no man
t was no funky man
although with a funkyman
was so bad bad
and I!
after
as bad as you can be in hearts
and still me is so  good in dance
nobody could score us! ...Once we have had fans.

Read you thru the minds if not hearts and broke it open now!
saw yours was not true talkin to me
although remains so lovingly
eyes with  glittery in memory
as sad as it can be
if you not yourself convert it later on to … jokingly
I say ... like you
keep this a secret itsmak for luck only
then I knew what you meant...
then I saw what you saw...when you looked at me

I looked at him not with fake eyes of you oh love me true
and said Goodbye.
ie rolls a colorful bead - its a gift
with a who knows what future brings
me nodding agreeably
for the phrase only
Nay its neither for you nor ie
future a farewell at most
to include you both
and me
and I promise me
never I break hearts by puffs again
will stick to tarot cards  
keep tis a hard learned lesson past
where heart allows
if not minds.

The clock that kills
time could take splendor in the grass and turn it to weeds
why can't this feeling last forever comes
and now its gone
it could take ecstacy of making love and destroy it
what will happen next or why didn't it happen sooner
The clock that kills
it could take an explosion of colors in the setting sun and remind you how it will soon be gone
taking it all away as the colors are still exploding
The clock that kills
All goods didn't come soon enough and all bads should have never come
the best is not the best
greatness is not greatness
love is not love because we created
The clock that kills
Just an illusion actually
just a brain made thing to find something not right with us again
you were late-you were early-it takes too long--it was definitely too short
Tic tock tic tock--whats next, whats next,whats next,whats next,whats next
The clock that kills
everything in my life is great
but, oh yea, don't forget, it should have happened sooner
The Clock that kills
The best words ever spoken,not fast enough
not soon enough
ticking intolerance spoke over them
why didn't they say that before
Every great feeling wiped out with one sentence
why didn't that happen before?
or even better--why did it come now when i'm not ready for it?
Can we ever get back the way life was before we created the Clock that kills

I awake next to the fair haired maiden.
The princess already rescued,
Having beaten off all the big bads.
Now I have come to see
Why the story always ends
With the storybook rescue
And not the ever-after.
I knew you as an image,
A heavenly body beyond reach.
Now I have you.
I dreamed of us running
Towards each other
Open armed
I loved you.
Too bad I will **** you.
Not with sharpened blade,
But with pointed tongue.
Worming my doubts into your head.
Forcing you to hate yourself,
But to always love me.
Till the day you’ll break,
And run from this world.
Convinced you are not worthy;
Knowing you’ll never find someone better.
Constant nagging with your voice,
But always my words.
When I reached the goal,
I no longer wanted the prize.
A trophy wife,
But not first place.
For now, I lie here next to you.
I brush your hair from your ear,
And lean in.
“I love you”
I whisper.
And what’s worse, I mean it.

There are words that hurt and heal
Hurts like a knife that doesnt cut it hurts as if tho
Why say things you dont really mean
To hurt the hurter two bads dont make a good
Two goods dont make a bad but a good

If you get hurt say thoughful things back
Rather than a blind minded attack
You will heal your self in the process
It'll confuse the hurter and it will upset and they will stop

Words arent always there to be said sometimes your mind is desert dead
All things that are said to hurt is because they are jealous
They really wish to be you
They really wish to have you
Or they really are down right heartless

God's always watching weither you believe it or not
You may not see him or hear him but its not same on his point of view
Bring him in your heart you will feel new from the start
Love the world as God does all will go good or it will get slightly better

More you trust in him the easier it will be in life
You have my word.

Winter tends to bring out the worst in people,
living in Wisconsin doesn't make it easier,
when 60%,
of one year,
of your life,
is cold and wet.

We all yearn for summer,
The word "summer" itself becomes a cliche,
we can't stop talking about it,
and us northerners think about it often.

then the days come when the leaves are on the trees,
and boats and docks sprawl on the thawed out lakes.

And we become happier.

Even those of us with hurt feel bads,
and broken hearts,
they can all forget the pain for a moment.

When they wake up on a summer day,
and hear birds chirping,
and hear the country music blaring,
and the days are longer,
and everything seems pure.

I even can forget about you for a moment,
when my beachy hair flies in my face,
and the lake water covers my skin.

Summer helps me to forget you,
Even though it is when we met.

I'm forgetting you.
Filling up the holes you left,
Finally.
Forgetting.
All of it.

This message
It will self destruct

This message
It deconstructs

This message
An eruption
Of my consumption
Of the bad

My feel bads
For damage done
With an empty gun
In hand

Collect the shells
Sweep the scraps
It dont matter
Who was first
But last

We all cast shadows
Here and now
From frown
To pout

We all go out
Like *******

I'm tired of these nothings
All of these nothings
Not the goods or the bads
or all the everythings in between
Of the nothings

2 A.M. drunk is easy
the late nights with sadness
they all make me smile
But not these nothings

Even our nothing
is better than these nothings
because I look at these nothings
and I feel our everything

So I crawl up
and reach for something

But don't worry, love
it's nothing at all

As I lived the days that come and go
I thought of what I had to show
Of all the things I’d won and earned
Of all the things I’d trashed and burned

The bads outweigh the goods, you see
Their heaviness means I’ll never be free
This cold, dark world is all I am
And held me back for future scam

The bitter cold, the vivid dark
Both tried to take away my spark
They’d sneak and fight, and turn me cold
And make me nothing, but controlled

I longed for heat, I longed for light
I wished and prayed straight through the night
I knew that path to say farewell
But that just led me straight to hell

‘I wonder if the heat feels nice’
‘It can’t get worse’ was my advice
I took the blade and took my heart
For constant heat I did depart

The heat was bliss and soothed my pain
But then the clouds let forth some acid rain
The heat was higher than I could bare
It burnt my skin and singed my hair

The pain is constant, from the heat
I wish the cold days would repeat

So as I hurt, and scream and shout
I wish I’d never opted out

To me you're more than just a friend,
You're someone I can turn to.
When I am hurt, or need some help,
Or need someone to talk to you.

You're not my best, or first, or last,
But I know you're always there.
You're one of a kind, you always are,
And no one can compare.

Just know that I am always here,
If you ever need a hand.
I'd travel over anything,
Water, air or land.

Next year you leave and go away,
But please don't let go.
Of the times we've had, the goods and bads,
The joke only we know.

Just thought I'd say I'll miss you girl,
When you pack and move away.
I promise that I'll visit you,
No matter what the day.

the first boy i ever loved had a freckle under his eye
and i swore
i'd never forget how that looked
and now, i have forgotten which eye it was under
and what color they were

but this, this is not a sad realization
this is not justification
this is an explanation of a simple thing:
i was not in love
but for the life of me, i could've been

and for reasons that i can't quite explain
we drifted apart
and truthfully, this may have been because he called me names i cannot repeat
and he broke me in ways that i'll never be able to fix
as ****** as it is, i stayed for a while longer
even though i knew i shouldn't
because
god, i thought i was in love
i swore i'd never forget that

but i did and i have
and sometimes these "goods" and "bads" come to pass
and all that's left is a fading memory
a fleeting feeling
not of love, but of longing
to be in love again

and this freckle under his eye, well i haven't seen it in seven months
and i don't really care to
because i've seen other beautiful things
things that would make that freckle seem
ugly
things that would make that freckle seem
insignificant
things that i swear
i will never forget

and this, i know
is not forever
i am not in love with the world yet
but for the life of me,
i could be

I want to you to paint me with the brush
that is your hand
Painting me how you like
Seeing what you want to see in me
Looking into my eyes
Finding what you have looked for all your life

I want the color of my skin, my eyes, my hair
to light a fire that was dormant
It would be your pleasure drink me whole
Slowly,
Tasting the goods, the bads and all that has made me
this solid liquid.

I want you to pick up pieces of me
in the sand.
Look for me in the sun and find me
somewhere in your soul,
somewhere previously unknown.

I'm alive when you sleep
When you awake I'm between the walls
Waiting for the night you find me alive
For this,
We only have each other in moments I vaporize
Losing form and body
Bearing only my soul

She prefers coffee than tea
romance over action
the window seat whenever she travels
ballads than punk rock
a hopeless romantic
for cliche scenes
roses and daisies are
the favourite among all
she loves all that
yet she'll love you more
than a character in the book she reads
she'll do whatever it is to make you happy
regardless the good days or the bads
you can always count on her to be there
she makes you dizzy
she makes you think
she makes you go crazy
but you go crazier if you don't get to see her
even for a day
because you love her
you have fallen for her
the way she talks
the way she smiles
laugh
rambles on about current dramas
and gets excited everytime
her favourite artists comes out with a new single
you love her quirks
her silliness
how good of a heart she possesses
and how far she would go for the people she loves
she sees the good in people
even when they have done her wrong
she forgives because she believes in change
but she breaks
she doesn't realize that she's just human
that she has feelings
that she can't fix everybody and everything
because that is life
people step on you and make use of your goodness
so you protect her
with all you got
even if it hurts her
you protect her heart
because you love her
because it's your responsibility
to keep her happy
and protect her from the bad

J.G.S

Its funny how a single notion of you can make my day
Its not as though you ever intend to, or that you even care that you do
But the very idea of you brings such a warm tickly feeling and smile to my face, You’re one of the few things that makes me comfortable being happy

Sometimes I chide myself for being so vulnerable to someone so daring
I catch myself staring, taking in your eyes, your smile,
And most of all that ever-present contagious light that you worry so much is overbearing
It makes it even harder to see when that light dims down

I want to be able to fuel you, in the way that so few can do for you
Forgive me, I’m trying my best
For all the bads, I promise I’ll give you all the good I canYeah

heartmaw set
on edge,
again -

this silly
little head
never seems to rest.

that muscle jus below the breastbone
will get the job done.

it fiends
the headfeed.

awkward holes of
black slowclap,
bentcrouched underneath the seat
of what's left -

yet little small events are there, always (a)waiting
over the tiny, unlit horizon
of thoughtstream eddy screams.

(choice is coy ---
it's sorta yours, except when its not)

eat the emote.
masticate the fury.
break down the snowstatic.
it's unyum, sure,

but,
jus listen,

and
at the
bottom

of the hole
you will
hear the bowl
hum and sing.

lit
space

so light

it will blind
you to
the abundant bads
that has
shot through,
replacing it with
hot shade truer.

it will
let you
defy
and
be

utter space.

I seem to remember everything
Even what i want forgotten

Even what i want hidden
Even what i want destroyed

And i remember those more
Than i do the beauties

Those God given moments
That i will never truly forget

But now i can't distinguish
Between the Goods and Bads

The Love and Fear
The truth behind my broken heart

The truth that never hides
And i want it forgotten

Our time was short
But our love was not
Across the park
Sitting below the bark
We kindle our hearts
Just like rain met fire
Let me tell you a tale
Of ruby and sapphire.

It all started before this year
You and me stranger from toe to ear
I saw you and you saw me
Really understood me relativity
Among the black you were the white
As i was the one who was not even on sight
You would say hi you would always smile
But I didn’t look nor cared if i was in a mile
You would always smile when you looked at me and one day things unfolded as you were in front of me.
I wanted to write, complete my journal
Guess who had written everything to make me feel infernal.
I asked your friend, did not looked at you
At this point, even you started to do this too
She pointed at you as you were bright
That was the moment you were into my life.
I thanked you on text, said few this and that
You replied few things, it was just a start.
Things moved ahead, i asked you out
You took time, but said lets head out
My first time was embarrassing, didnt wanna make it happen again.
But ohh boy look, who has fallen from her moped.
I controlled my laugh and went to help you
Opened the door and made a impression on you.
Talking, laughing i was busy with myself,
That you ordered something which cost me a whole buffet.
From that day with texted more and more
Got closer and closer, unknowing both
That a storm was near.

How should i describe him what should i call?
He is the one who destroyed it all
Whom to blame and whom to not
Sliced her to pieces throwing her everywhere.

My heart cried like clouds filled with tears
As he was near and i felt fear
To know someone so close and still get rejected,
I guess guys this is life, and i respected.
He was my friend and she was my love
There happiness meant everything for now
Promise myself to never speak to her again
Only to find out my friend did the same
His silence to me and his happiness to her
Ohh boy wasn’t i the loneliest person in this world.
Picked myself brick to brick
Told myself to rebuild everything
Made my mind to be something new
But my heart died a million death
Whenever i saw both of you
What was i lacking? why am i incomplete?
What did went wrong? Was i indiscreet?
My worst time began, my life went round
I would never texted you that was my call
Got so busy in life i nearly forgot our dream
Only to find few months later
You broke up with him.

Met your friends, heard about you
It wasn’t pretty, few bads about you
From that day I saw your slither
Few i knew, but the truth was bitter
My curiosity increased, my mind needed answers,
This was the time when my heart became dancer,
I wanted to know, wanted to learn
What could possibly go wrong
For a girl this much fun.
Then after a month i finally knew,
But it was partial and away from true
They talked about how less of a person she was, they were the narrator,
That she was a bad character,
Laughing at her as she didnt matter,
Her own friends whom she thought she was close with,
Were no longer her friends but strangers together.
What did she do? What happened that February?
What could have gone wrong to what degree?
Well, to me, she did made a bad choice, we can all agree.
Finally I thought i knew the truth,
It was simple but defined her youth,
It was a misunderstanding that happened
A mishap that she was ravened
Her guy was a malice a untruthful,
And she would always need his approval
It would be a prison for a normal
But for her it was her formal.
She being made to do whatever he wants,
She making him happy by whatever he wants,
Such an obsession, such a passion
What would have happened
If only he would have gotten.
Even though he toyed her
Made her his slave
She did everything to please him
And by please, Yes,
Giving her unto him, he using her as much he wants, him making her a mess,
For now she was only an object in dress,
An object for satisfaction
As he was never concerned for her feelings
And nor her actions.
The day too did came, when he wanted to get rid of her, as his fun was done,
As his vessel was filled, and now he wanted another one.
What would a guy such as himself would do?
Well of course, he would spread rumours about you.
She is *****, she is bad, she is begging me to be with her and is only capable of sleeping in bed.
I had my fun, now i am bored,
Onto the next one
Here i go.
Said the guy who left her broken
Who left her puzzled and choked,
Who made sure she would never rise,
And would never breathe the air of nice,
It wasn’t done as i was still searching,
I met her again and we were matching,
Thought finally my love was answering,
Even all this i made her a goal in my map,
Little by little i was falling into her trap,
As she was only making sure,
That her EX would notice and she would roar.
Using me to finally getting her more,
Ladies and gentlemen, it was a good lore.

Got crumbled, had rage,
A typhoon ranged
All sort of emotions and feelings engaged,
But it was ******, Listen close
The ****** of love and hatred rose,
Such an intense hate and i had never felt
This was my becoming of something great,
No love for her I wanted her out of my life, but she was there in my sight,
My rage came forward gave her a decision,
I knew she would deny to all perfection.
Become my girlfriend said I.
No I can not give it a try,
Get out of my life, goodbye.
Those were my last words my last sentence
Event though she insulted me below the class,
Saying i was pressuring her and confusing her pass,
Her words heard by everyone, as i did not expected,
Everyone looking at me as i had done something unaccepted,
I couldn’t believe what i heard, my brain did run,
Me getting insulted was the last thing anyone would have done.
I said goodbye with an image of her in my mind,
That i shall never let her back in my life

The next day was sad,
The day after gloomy,
For only few days it may be,
I had the pleasure of getting near you maybe,
I made up my mind after that,
I was chasing something which i never had,
Never went to class as i got tired,
Always had thought of you which i admired,
Came back to senses, as they would always backfired,
Slowly slowly my hate became strong,
It wasnt ordinary it was a cruel song,
My love would never rise like a sun's dawn,
It had no hope, it had no receiver,
It was alone in itself with extreme fever,
Crying at a corner I consoled him a lot,
Only to find out he killed himself at last!

What the hell happened? Where did you go?
You leave me alone now, plz dont leave me alone!
This pain, this life might have killed you for once,
But trust me my friend i need you here to undo what has been done,
But i never heard you again, i never seen you again,
I am still in worry what happened with you ohh-my-kind-men,
Anyways, all right Ta-Ta-bye-bye,
You had a good heart, good love and a good cry,
I could be able to continue this path which you have lead,
"Just make her happy" this is all you said!
I promise to make it worth, promise to make it eternal like Taj,
So thanks for this life and goodbye Anuraj!

I want to **** myself
How do I tell my loved ones that I'm suicidal again
Nothin bads happened
I just feel hopeless again
They stay positive when I tell them there's no point to life
Which ****** me off
Cause I can't see it
This mythical rainbow that y'all speak about
Just ****** me off cause all I see is black and white
Life or death
Happiness or sadness
Hate or love
I hate you for being able to see the rainbow
Because I can't
All I see is black and white in a sea of red
Nothing seems to help and I don't know how to tell you that
Because every time I do you try to make me feel better
But that's not what I need
I need you to come join me in my depression hole for a while so I'm a little less alone
Don't point out the rainbow
Just comment on the black and white and don't comment on the fact that I live in a sea of red

It was my fist day, i wore a white T dark jeans, some converse. I was a freshman just wanting to look fly. before i knew it i was going around looking like a fool. By the second year my sophomore year i just wanted class too look more then fly. Things were done that i wasn't to proud of but i got my first job. by the time i was a junior i was working full time at a hotel, just not caring what my class thinks of me. All i wanted was to help i use to have tears rushing down my face saying i hate this place. Now I am a senior ready for the walk, ready to start a new life. I am scared i am happy i will miss this all. i cant tell you how your gonna turn out but whatever you do, just cherish the moments because in a blink of an eye you will be a senior. I had a lot of good and bads, laughed a lot, cried a lot. but being angry at whatever it is or being proud of an achievement is precious. you and your peers should stick together because soon enough you or your peers need to seek help or did seek help and i would rather be in debt helping someone get by rather then having them suffer alone. you don't have to help but it is more then appreciated to stick up for someone rather then walk the line with your cool or precious money or scholarship pretending it was all about you when really its all about the people around you. I am a 19 year senior class of 2015, this is to all the kids who suffered a lot and i hope for the best. just don't give up or don't choose the easy way out because the ones who suffer the most turn out to be the most successful so just be patient and things will eventually be okay.

Good turns had
Had turns used
And the young
Get abused
When
Will
A
N
Y
O
N
E
Stop the ****
And murders
Of young
Innocent
School learner's.
Is our place really that disgusting.
Yes we should forgive all things
Not me to judge.
But can I still say its still disgusting
Sick they are
Sick at the beginning
They already were
I guess not being brought up with compassion really made them
Bad bad
Rotten Apple's.
Though of course,
Bads always existed in the world.