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AraSoul Nov 2013
There has been darkness in my heart manifesting depression through my thoughts and its spreading like cancer to every part of me.
Transmitting shocks through my brain like my blood is the apex of an iceberg cutting out my joy.
For some reason I felt the need to pass out of earth.
The most dangerous thing about depression loneliness because you think no one understands you.
So then you suppress it. Burying under smiles that no one can detect it. Because you don’t want people to think you’re weak so you smile like a mime clown when you’re not really happy but your heart is playing the part of happiness when your heart is the ‘’dark night’’.
You cannot hide your true feelings trying to encourage broken people when your heart isn’t bailed for liberty.
You eat until you dry up the voices of weeping and mourning underneath your loneliness and you gain calories in your heart on the fact that you lack self-worth. Then it becomes so much easy to die then to live with your brokenness.
I know how it feels to feel like an outcast when the only option you have is playing chords with your fingers underneath your thighs.
I know how it feels to love genuinely but have in return a package of hatred.
I know how it feels to think about suicide more than to think about Jesus. Being scared to talk about your weakness because you’ll be tagged for backslidings.
I know how it feels to sing beyonce’s ‘’save the hero’’ to yourself even though it’s a secular song because you’re trying to re-boot your spirit telling yourself you’re a hero.
I know how it feels to feel hopeless that even life doesn’t smell good in your spirit.
I know it hurts to the bone!!
Jesus was flogged with whips, His flesh was  ripped apart and exposed,the disgusting flames of people He was about to sacrifice His life for, was all over His wounded body  just to take away this feeling of depression. This is why He said it is finished! If God made Jesus conquer death, what makes you think He can’t help you conquer life?!!
Therefore, I will boast in my weakness because His power is made perfect in my weakness.
I will play with my fingers the keys of my heart on the piano.
Eject the thoughts of negativity and press on the victory because the race is not to the swift but he that endures even in depression to the end.
 
 
 
Priscilla Adams(AraSoul)
Run ye to and fro through the streets of Jerusalem, and see now, and know, and seek in the broad places thereof, if ye can find a man, if there be any that executeth judgment, that seeketh the truth; and I will pardon it.

2 And though they say, The Lord liveth; surely they swear falsely.

3 O Lord, are not thine eyes upon the truth? thou hast stricken them, but they have not grieved; thou hast consumed them, but they have refused to receive correction: they have made their faces harder than a rock; they have refused to return.

4 Therefore I said, Surely these are poor; they are foolish: for they know not the way of the Lord, nor the judgment of their God.

5 I will get me unto the great men, and will speak unto them; for they have known the way of the Lord, and the judgment of their God: but these have altogether broken the yoke, and burst the bonds.

6 Wherefore a lion out of the forest shall slay them, and a wolf of the evenings shall spoil them, a leopard shall watch over their cities: every one that goeth out thence shall be torn in pieces: because their transgressions are many, and their backslidings are increased.

7 How shall I pardon thee for this? thy children have forsaken me, and sworn by them that are no gods: when I had fed them to the full, they then committed adultery, and assembled themselves by troops in the harlots' houses.

8 They were as fed horses in the morning: every one neighed after his neighbour's wife.

9 Shall I not visit for these things? saith the Lord: and shall not my soul be avenged on such a nation as this?

10 Go ye up upon her walls, and destroy; but make not a full end: take away her battlements; for they are not the Lord's.

11 For the house of Israel and the house of Judah have dealt very treacherously against me, saith the Lord.

12 They have belied the Lord, and said, It is not he; neither shall evil come upon us; neither shall we see sword nor famine:

13 And the prophets shall become wind, and the word is not in them: thus shall it be done unto them.

14 Wherefore thus saith the Lord God of hosts, Because ye speak this word, behold, I will make my words in thy mouth fire, and this people wood, and it shall devour them.

15 Lo, I will bring a nation upon you from far, O house of Israel, saith the Lord: it is a mighty nation, it is an ancient nation, a nation whose language thou knowest not, neither understandest what they say.

16 Their quiver is as an open sepulchre, they are all mighty men.

17 And they shall eat up thine harvest, and thy bread, which thy sons and thy daughters should eat: they shall eat up thy flocks and thine herds: they shall eat up thy vines and thy fig trees: they shall impoverish thy fenced cities, wherein thou trustedst, with the sword.

18 Nevertheless in those days, saith the Lord, I will not make a full end with you.

19 And it shall come to pass, when ye shall say, Wherefore doeth the Lord our God all these things unto us? then shalt thou answer them, Like as ye have forsaken me, and served strange gods in your land, so shall ye serve strangers in a land that is not your's.

20 Declare this in the house of Jacob, and publish it in Judah, saying,

21 Hear now this, O foolish people, and without understanding; which have eyes, and see not; which have ears, and hear not:

22 Fear ye not me? saith the Lord: will ye not tremble at my presence, which have placed the sand for the bound of the sea by a perpetual decree, that it cannot pass it: and though the waves thereof toss themselves, yet can they not prevail; though they roar, yet can they not pass over it?

23 But this people hath a revolting and a rebellious heart; they are revolted and gone.

24 Neither say they in their heart, Let us now fear the Lord our God, that giveth rain, both the former and the latter, in his season: he reserveth unto us the appointed weeks of the harvest.

25 Your iniquities have turned away these things, and your sins have withholden good things from you.

26 For among my people are found wicked men: they lay wait, as he that setteth snares; they set a trap, they catch men.

27 As a cage is full of birds, so are their houses full of deceit: therefore they are become great, and waxen rich.

28 They are waxen fat, they shine: yea, they overpass the deeds of the wicked: they judge not the cause, the cause of the fatherless, yet they prosper; and the right of the needy do they not judge.

29 Shall I not visit for these things? saith the Lord: shall not my soul be avenged on such a nation as this?

30 A wonderful and horrible thing is committed in the land;

31 The prophets prophesy falsely, and the priests bear rule by their means; and my people love to have it so: and what will ye do in the end thereof?
GOD WITH US.!!

— The End —