1) I know which to prefer
It will reflect well made of mind
I look at them and I see beauty
Not of body,of spritual that god made,
2)A dame sits on couch
Watching,waiting for something
Then her aunt visit
Discussing something privy,
3)Then me and comrade look at her
She were being nice towards us
As we ridicule,we muse that how will she for bruv
Then we converse,
4)confidant said,she is fine
Then she said,she looks clever,sinful
Then he enters and had same belief about her
Then I said,she may be has to be like this because of cruel world
We merely can't judge her,
5)Lack of wisdom,I conclude
Without brimful realization,they state her immoral
This little suffering,judgements,eagle eyes
Shattered me,I interrogate myself,
6)should i get angry, or should i feel pity for them
We should be the flower for everyone because there are people who are setting thornes for each other,
Be even kind to them who are unkind to you
Because they needed it most
Whether you're harsh outside, but be a flower inside.
7)Even when we write answer of a query it demands full anaylsis of that aspects,causes and then conclusion.

They tell me these mental disorders
Deteriorate
With age.
My broken psyche shattered on delusional possibilities,
Broken into asymmetric bits,
Of what was left of my personality.

I am all that remains,
Of Nolan Bucsis.
Jagged half thought out ideas
Controlled by someone else.

And,
Me, stuck in the vortex
Of what could have been.
Sailing into the banks of self abnegation
Run aground on
The ledge before the sundering out of the ego.

This is the austerity of self destruction
And the mundanity of a
Mid life crisis.

Every memory a horrible place,
A rotten deed,
With my-
Revulsion of the self,
With,
Destruction through the delirium of drugs.
Stochastic change.

And,
Self inflicted misery.

All that remains is the rubble.
The desolation of isolation.
Just trying to get up the motivation
To viciously criticize myself
In all my inadequacies.

Aghast-
Agape-
At the auto-didactic nature of automatic anaylsis.

But, I will run the ship of normalcy
Into the rocky shore
Of habitual neurotic persistence.