Alchol
To drown
Fight my thoughts
To drown the pain
Alchol

Your my anatomy antidote. Mentor, a friend to the broken. You know I'm not a prodigy. But honestly you've always believed in me. In perfect peacei dream of the secrets in store. At utopia door. I wish I could sneek. To this place of harmony. In a waterfall in a rainbow. There are gumdrops. And Beauty. So much love. Walking in a fog of colors.

Chorus Your sending me to the promise land sending me and someday I'll see water change to alchol. The miracle man healing the blinded. Walking on water is no challenge in the promise land. Ohh the promise land.

Flowing out comes a river of milk. Spreading trees with trinkling honey. Dripping in cinnamon. There are sins cast down. In the mist of the ocean. As the blue tide comes in it washes them all away.Forgiven and forgotten are our past mistakes. Here Emotions. settle and don't rot in the sun. The ocean is full of water you breathe under. And there are no bugs. Only the ones that benefit us by fluttering by with vibrant wings. This is my mission to touch this utupia that many have called heaven. At the gate of destiny.

Chorus Your sending me to the promise land sending me and someday I'll see water change to alchol. The miracle man healing the blinded. Walking on water is no challenge in the promise land. Ohh the promise land. Flowing out comes a river of milk. Spreading trees with trinkling honey. Dripping in cinnamon. They call this place magic with grace. And theres a canal filled with unfamous greats. Anyone can swim in just for enjoyment. Lifes great cause here it lasts forever, never ending.

.And there's no disease that sends you to the grave. And when he gave his life away. He gained the world it's victory. Because. Of this humble servant I can honestly say I believe. I believe. Beleive i am saved. When he bled on the cross. He took my heart and mended it into clay. So he could mold a perfect being. Out of sinful me. Beautiful flawed l. Chorus Onward we walk. Together we stand. Forward we soar to the promise land We lift our swords to slay the beasts that live here in this human air. And on the beach we will dance a soldiers victory prance. From here you can Look at the sky. Feel the heat on your skin. Hold the sand just to watch it slip. Stare near the clouds see the gulls float. With perfect unity they land in unison. Reminding me that there's is even better above the clouds and in the heavans.

I found out after a week
that
last Saturday
was as just like the other days
no prince charming
and he is not the one
but just a fling.

Love
seems to be
the cure
for my suffering;
My anxiety and sadness.
Even if it's brief
or last long extenuating exhausting
hours.
The best hours
can spend in bed
Besides sleep.

Alcohol
It's a light in the dark.
A serum of energy.
A light mixed with darkness.
Or the opposite of darkness.
My choice over water.

****
The famous Mary
The cure to all pain & suffering
These days.
His regular old Camel mixed with ****
It goes hand in hand with love, alcohol & ***.

It is said to relax and take away
Excruciating Pain or any illness,
internaly and externally, intentionally or not.
It heals your soul.
Hide your scars
and numbs your mind
Giving  you new hopes in life
envolved in it's mystical phsycodelic fog.
Maybe that's a different drug.
But **** should be legal and a medicine to trust.

Love, Alcohol, & ***;
It seems be the magical pill
For this matrix type of world.
For this life I live in.
But like all,
There's always a price to pay.
Love, Alchol, & ****
is something you should never trust.

headache headache
I kinda feel like I'm dying
here with the carpet
actively hurting my eyes

I've got more tremors
than a kevin bacon movie
and I really feel that I should stop drinking
100 proof alchol

is that how you spell it?

dumb dumb dumb
brain lost traction
on my body last night

I woke up with a hurt heart
and didn't know why

late for work, almost crashed my car
into the ditch every time I looked away from the road

Life is a cruel mistress
she will beat you down
then turn around
and tell you its all your fault

She'll twist all your demons
and make them come alive
through waking hours
and sleep

She'll gladly psh your drug of choice
weather its coke
or a razor
alchol
or ***
and scream at you till you use

you want to lay down
and surrender
praying she
will have mercy

Because fighting her saps all your energy
But she is a cold hearted foe
she wont stop
until she wins
and your life is lost

So hold on to your support beams
family
friends
writing
they will be there
they will fight
when you need a time out.

But please
Little LF
dont give up just yet.

I dare not hold you,
not the fear of spilling your drink
It is the constant reminder,
how you can change in just a blink.
You are the one I try to love ,
try  Oh how true...
useless to to give that a thought
when the alchol hits you.
Walked in rain and screamed to the skies,
who created such a thing!!!!
Those lips that should be touching mine,
poisoned with this drink.
Eyes that should see clear the bridges that she burns,
focus on nothing else but the next glass that she yearns.
From her perch, the barstool throne, empires crumble
at her feet.
Not caring as she grasps her refilled glass,
tomorrow's empty sheets.

"If you could erase a person and all of the memories that come with them from your mind, would you?"*
Memories of you flood into my head,
Into my lungs,
And I begin to drown.
I don't write about you often,
I don't like to remember you.
It makes me feel as if I made a mistake.
An awful, horrid mistake.
As if I stripped the beach of sand
As I washed away your name
On my lips
With alchol and watched
Your face evaporate with every
Puff of smoke.
Oh how I hate that I still love you.
Others touch me and
it only brings me back to you.
I've had better days
But the nights are the worst.
I've spent each night
Drenched
In tears and sweat
From the sweet words
You used to leave in my ears
Like flowers left on gravestones.
God I love you.
If I could erase my mind of you,
I would never
For you and I grew together
Entangled in each other.
We were one beautiful book
Bound in laughter and sleepy eyes.
But one day that book withered away,
Becoming two completely separate
Novellas.
I wish we never parted.
I'm so sorry.
I would never wish you away.
You asked of me, one thing.
To never leave you behind.
I promise you,
You will never be
Just another memory.

I wonder what el amor is.
Maybe in English it has a different meaning
Maybe I have discovered the wrong sentimiento
And that is why I feel that way
Maybe I can’t describe because no es verdad
Or maybe I just not completely real

I wonder if there is someone out there who feels what I feel
But my definition of this sentimiento is not exactly like Cinderella’s
My definition is completely out of this world according to all the novelas I’ve watched.
I just figure out that
Love belongs in fairy tales that are capable of selling perfect ending to a corruptible public
It belong in the darkness of a lost soul in a turbulent desafio

Nowhere else, but reality, is love seen as it really is
El amor
It’s a powerful feeling and such a strong choice of words when they are said to the wrong people
TE AMO
Maybe in español it means
Only when you have dinero
And in English it means
Only when you have a good reputacion

Love can really set limits for something that can cross the barrier in a lover’s mouth
Isn’t that why he proposed marriage to her when she was perfecta looking to the eyes
But as soon as the storm came
And blew away her beauty like little crystals of sugar blowing in the air
He left

Maybe el amor is only said to the people you wished you loved
And not to those that in realidad importan
Maybe it was meant so that cats and dogs don’t fall in love
Or maybe Not, because
Romeo fell in love with Juliet then died
So if I fall in love with my enemy my destiny is death

Then why is love so poderoso
Why can it make one person run away from her family?
And the other commit suicide?
And why can it make one die floating away?
And the other living up to the sight of Titanic?
Why does it make a wish hecho por the heart be a completa fake?

I’ll tell you why!

Because nowadays
It is more importante to love a bag of drugs than a child
Es mas importante to love a dream than a family
I fell in love with reality that was my crime
Because I decided to follow my heart not my eyes
To follow my brain than to follow cigarettes or alchol

Now I am seen as a crazy bi…sitor from outer space
And a brain eating zombie
Not exactly what I thought love would be
Pero that es el love que me ha puesto esta society…
This is the some type of amor
I never thought existia…

Just look at me...
I'm a mess!!
I got cuts, scars and brusies on me...
I ruined myself with ***
I used to be very smart
Then eveything I achieved just went down the drain
And here I am today thinking of death lane
I wished I was dead
Burried deep in the ground
I'm no longer happy
I'm just allways down
My grades are falling by day
I'm just passing highschool by a string of thread
Now I drink alchol just to pass time
I'm not even living
I'm just wasting time
I don't want to fall in love
To be cared for when I'm old
To have a husband and kids to make me happy and bold
I say these things cause I'm passed the point of going back
It's too late for me
Too late

IM SICK AND TIRED OF THINKING OF YOU FATHER ITS 1:52 AM ON 2015 ANOTHER YEAR OF SELFHATRED AND LONGING FOR SOMEONE WHO WILL NEVER BE THERE FOR ME I HATE FATHERS DAY AND I HATE FATHERS AND I HATE PEOPLE WHO JUST LET YOU DOWN IM TIRED OF THROWING MYSELF INTO A RAGING FIRE OF MY THOUGHTS EVERYNIGHT KNOWING THAT ILL BE BURNED AND THE SCARRS THEY WONT FADE AWAY BECAUSE FATHER THESE ARE MORE THAN JUST WORDS THIS IS A PROMISE THAT THE DAY I HEAR YOURE DEAD I WONT CRY I WONT FEEL ANYTHING JUST LIKE YOU FATHER I WANT TO DROWND MYSELF IN ***** AND ALCHOL AND FORGET WHAT BREATHING IS BUT I KNOW WHAT DRINKING DOES IT MESSES WITH YOUR MIND AND YOU SLIP UP AND YOU CREATE THIS LIVING FORM OF LIFE THAT WAS JUST AN ACCIDENT JUST AN ACCIDENT I DONT EVER WANT TO BE YOU BUT IF IM NOT WHO AM I...NO ONE BECAUSE WHEN GOD CREATED HUMANS AND HE GAVE THEM THIS WONDERFUL GIFT OF INTIMACY HE FORGOT THAT MEN ARE SO NUMB TO EVERYTHING THAT INTIMACY IS AS IMPORTANT AS THE BEER CAP CLATTERING TO THE FLOOR TO JOIN THE OTHERS AT YOUR FEET AND THATS WHERE YOULL FIND ME FATHER ALONG WITH THE REST YOULL NEVER KNOW YOULL NEVER KNOW

Alone.
In a pick up truck.
Isolated from every one that matters to him.
Parked outside of a Chevron station.
Alchol is strong it becomes part of him.
Family members cutting him off.
Hope is only there in my mom.
She is the last hope.
My mom did realize how bad he had been suffering.
My mom was everything to my uncle.
Crying and screaming my mom found that Uncle Mattie was found dead in his truck.
The power of love is strong, it will never die. When you are committed to someone you could be there last hope.
My mom was everything to Uncle Mattie.

I have an issue.
Im an addict. No, not to any thing illegal or alchol.
But Im an addict to run away from the reality.
To watch my movies and tv shows, is like a portal to a total different world.
Where I live many lives. I have other problems. And the reality is on pause.

Where I can breath out, and just be another me.
Where all my problems are washed away.
I tell people is like dreaming with open eyes.
And it is really something magical.
When I see through the screen someone drowning, I hold my breath.
I live in the screen. Im an addict to the thousands lives out there.
I just want to feel, experience something without being so afraid all the time..

So yeah call me an addict if you want.
But its what keeping me alive.

i spill thoughts
like sloshy truck drivers
alchol-tinged tears burning the lips
of mothers that lost their everything
fathers, their legacy -
He was driving on the wrong side of the road.
i hear my voice
but my mouth doesn't budge
i wonder if all this
is worth fixing

Lights jumping acrossed basement walls
Music playing to loud
And people standing far too close
Kisses exchanged in the heat
Of a sweaty basement
A sticky floor, covered in glitter and alchol
Girls bending over
Guys eyes full of hunger
Hips sway to the beat,
getting nasty with the heat