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"affected" poems
Speaking of broken hearts and mended fenced in mem'ries   I am painting skies of tangerine, saffron & an illuminated lilac hue against the starkly contrasted crisp cornflower blue, stretching canvas that is along with all the other blindingly beautiful colors of a twilight sky And those dripping cotton candy stratospheric clouds Ice crystals freezing into supercooled water droplets Streaking the sky in cirrus whispers ..I hear them whisper, "hello"... Blinding beauty through unadulterated sunlight I am fleeced like a lamb watching in awe, ..in wonder then stomping sounds of coming thunder, Finding depth and height out  in the stratosphere Blinded by the After Light or afterglow affected by the amount of haze I'm in a daze ...as I am reaching High above the fading light of a brilliant early fall sunset I take a big breath of that sumptuous air and twirl my skirted legs my painted toes where I know I am back to solid ground Appreciating the last time I say sleep well to you  my dear summertimes sweet mem'ries and the fun we had this year. Cherie Nolan © 2016
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Sep 1, 2016
Sep 1, 2016 at 2:39 PM UTC
"After Light"
The only proper way to be a conversationalist is to convince yourself that you’re boring. If you can strip back the hard shell of the ego, and look down on yourself from the eyes of an apathetic God, you will likely (and hopefully) see just how boring you really are. It isn’t a sin to be boring, in fact there are many advantages to honest self-depreciation. The main advantage, is the way you approach a conversation. “Interesting” people find it difficult to silence the affected score-keeper that dominates their internal dialogue and ruins any chance of an honest and engaged conversation. It is the voice that reminds you to show interest with your body language, and keep a dumb happy gaze laser pointed into their eyes. This dialogue is obsessed with authenticity and genuine conversation, and therefore a natural sociopath. Luckily, you are the stunning definition of boredom, an extracted dictionary cut-out of un-interesting, and nobody could possibly give a rats-ass what you have to think—least of all the Voice that controls the inner-dialogue. That Voice has packed it up to find a more interesting vessel…maybe the person standing across from you in conversation. 
 Because you are so boring, and they are the Oxford personification of intellect and fascination, you should pay careful attention to what they say—no time to worry about how they’re perceiving your reaction to whatever it is they’re saying. You are too busy to notice what sort of body language you may or may not be using to validate their half of the conversation. Instead, your time is spent carefully hanging on their every word, digesting it and projecting the whole bit into a colourful scene in your imagination. Instead, you’re too lost in the excitement of their infinitely more interesting life and impossible wealth of knowledge offered to you with each word that they speak. Instead, you are actually listening to the words that come out of their mouth and not the ones that speak to you from the inside of your own mind. This is what it means to be in conversation. This was the point of our social nature. And in a world of needy social-media junkies grabbing at the cuffs of potential ‘followers’ and ‘likes’ and trendy passer-by’s, the last thing anyone needs is the high-pitched whine of another “interesting” millennial. Lucky for you, you boring sack of yawning sloths, that you aren’t interesting too.
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Dec 17, 2015
Dec 17, 2015 at 6:13 PM UTC
The Optimists Guide to Conversationalism:
The only proper way to be a conversationalist is to convince yourself that you’re boring. If you can strip back the hard shell of the ego, and look down on yourself from the eyes of an apathetic God, you will likely (and hopefully) see just how boring you really are. It isn’t a sin to be boring, in fact there are many advantages to honest self-depreciation. The main advantage, is the way you approach a conversation. “Interesting” people find it difficult to silence the affected score-keeper that dominates their internal dialogue and ruins any chance of an honest and engaged conversation. It is the voice that reminds you to show interest with your body language, and keep a dumb happy gaze laser pointed into their eyes. This dialogue is obsessed with authenticity and genuine conversation, and therefore a natural sociopath. Luckily, you are the stunning definition of boredom, an extracted dictionary cut-out of un-interesting, and nobody could possibly give a rats-ass what you have to think—least of all the Voice that controls the inner-dialogue. That Voice has packed it up to find a more interesting vessel…maybe the person standing across from you in conversation. 
 Because you are so boring, and they are the Oxford personification of intellect and fascination, you should pay careful attention to what they say—no time to worry about how they’re perceiving your reaction to whatever it is they’re saying. You are too busy to notice what sort of body language you may or may not be using to validate their half of the conversation. Instead, your time is spent carefully hanging on their every word, digesting it and projecting the whole bit into a colourful scene in your imagination. Instead, you’re too lost in the excitement of their infinitely more interesting life and impossible wealth of knowledge offered to you with each word that they speak. Instead, you are actually listening to the words that come out of their mouth and not the ones that speak to you from the inside of your own mind. This is what it means to be in conversation. This was the point of our social nature. And in a world of needy social-media junkies grabbing at the cuffs of potential ‘followers’ and ‘likes’ and trendy passer-by’s, the last thing anyone needs is the high-pitched whine of another “interesting” millennial. Lucky for you, you boring sack of yawning sloths, that you aren’t interesting too.
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6
De-winged and flightless          is the dragonfly               that tried to slip by                        in my slipstream, It found instead the pickup           traversing the alleyways                of my convoluted imagination. I don’t know why I’m driving,           ever driving someplace                 unrealized and unexplored. I feel so disconnected, I feel so disrespected by the world                 sometimes But that’s not fair            it has been good to me. I feel so disconnected         sometimes and yet it comes in times            when I’m most consumed                 most surrounded. Maybe I’m just tired         and the walls around me quiver only from the struggles of my waking eyes, Maybe I’m just bitter         that I can’t have the perfect life                  and feel as if nothing could be better, Maybe I’m affected         by this liquid life I’m draining from my cup                  in hopes of finding a different day                                             at the bottom. Is it jealousy that lingers in my mind         or mere longing tinged with a heavy                  dose of confusion? I am confused. And yet I’m still alive         unlike my dragonfly                   and so I stumble onward. -BRD
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Nov 22, 2010
Nov 22, 2010 at 4:03 PM UTC
Dragonfly
De-winged and flightless          is the dragonfly               that tried to slip by                        in my slipstream, It found instead the pickup           traversing the alleyways                of my convoluted imagination. I don’t know why I’m driving,           ever driving someplace                 unrealized and unexplored. I feel so disconnected, I feel so disrespected by the world                 sometimes But that’s not fair            it has been good to me. I feel so disconnected         sometimes and yet it comes in times            when I’m most consumed                 most surrounded. Maybe I’m just tired         and the walls around me quiver only from the struggles of my waking eyes, Maybe I’m just bitter         that I can’t have the perfect life                  and feel as if nothing could be better, Maybe I’m affected         by this liquid life I’m draining from my cup                  in hopes of finding a different day                                             at the bottom. Is it jealousy that lingers in my mind         or mere longing tinged with a heavy                  dose of confusion? I am confused. And yet I’m still alive         unlike my dragonfly                   and so I stumble onward. -BRD
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38
Disconnected the more we’re connected Our children are affected and feeling neglected While our rights to privacy are no longer respected An idea our ancestors never projected The transgressions of technological progression An obsession creating social oppression A Millennial’s iDol, a prized possession
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Sep 6, 2015
Sep 6, 2015 at 1:12 AM UTC
iDol
I say; The drifting rain dissolves sea salt Turning tears into dangled monsoon Under the bleak ballad of dying dawn Where I long for heat unbroken You say; The drifting rain drenches my tiptoe Witching smiles into deranged equinox Upon the downpour of ancient daybreak Where I pray for old snow long sunk All was as if the days faded And morphed into younger sunset It was as if mercy was drained And no one preach as desired The downpour stench though remains constant Of rotting perfume of the rouge graphite You drowsily drip from dowsing fingers, they lit Into pages of burning, dancing melodious lads As will, you may keep those imageries for you And give up old stories as my slumber lyre Whether it is about the burnt down marching boy Or the bloodstained pianist from our ancient joy For the bleak heart aesthetic has affected a new kind of love And the bleak heart aesthetic would never let you feel so certain So please keep your drifting rain of strings During the downpour of the deranged equinox When the snow goes black and slowly sunk Into pages of firespit melodious lads
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Feb 3, 2015
Feb 3, 2015 at 7:19 AM UTC
The Bleak Heart Aesthetic
His blue eyes are like glacial-lakes, wrapping around his heart till he's chilled to the bone from the cold. A deadly place where treading is no longer permitted. His eyes are transparent and distant as the impersonal clouds passing overhead. Even as I stands before him, reflecting off him. I am still merely a reflection. He knows my face, I reason silently. From the hills of my cheeks, down towards the valley separating my lips. He should recognize it all. Instead a blank expression greets me.     A look of cold, solid insouciance. I'm immediately angry with myself for wanting to justify his indifference's. A reflex I've never been able to expel. The vestigial limb on a skeleton. A party favor from another time forgotten for the newly discovered toy. I twist in the fridged winds wrapping around him. My force giving under the great pressure magnified by his powers. I never wanted to dance upon his breeze. This realization makes me burn hotter. My anger brighter than the northern star. I welcome it, my amounting rage. I embraces it with a raging smile. His glaciers may be cold, immovable at times. A pretentious notion I might freeze. For I am the sun swirling in nova's ring and cannot be affected by his black iced personality.
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Oct 17, 2014
Oct 17, 2014 at 11:38 AM UTC
Black Iced Personality.
To my son. This is me, apologizing..... I apologize for all the bumps in the road. For the nights when I stayed up rocking you unsure of where we would sleep tomorrow. I apologize that your daddy couldn't be there for your birth, he was there with me until I left for the hospital. Know that he is a good man who got caught up in the wrong woman. I apologize for all of the times I lost my temper, I never wanted to be a screaming parent and I hope that when you read this you look back and think "but you rarely yelled". I apologize for never feeling that I was a good mother, I hope that the way I felt about myself never affected your views of self worth. Lastly I apologize for being just a kid myself trying to raise a better child, if I ever make you feel disappointed, disrespected, angry, or resentful I apologize. I love you with everything that I have... I am trying little bug.... Mommy is trying.
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Aug 7, 2016
Aug 7, 2016 at 10:54 PM UTC
To my son: I am sorry for what you will not remember
Shutting down, My immune system fails, Vulnerable to the germs that breed about the town, One mistake, Protection wasn’t used, Vulnerable to the taunts that make my soft heart break. Although my heart is broken, Words only cut so deep, I know that I am human, Even as I drift to endless sleep. For advice and help – please contact any of the organisations below: Terrence Higgins Trust Web: www.tht.org.uk Helpline: 0845 1221 200 Offers free and confidential services for people with *** Positively Women Web: www.positivelywomen.org.uk Helpline: 020 7713 0222 (staffed by *** positive women: Mon-Fri 10am-4pm) Aidsmap Web: www.aidsmap.com Information, news and resources for people with *** and AIDS. I dedicate this poem to all those who are suffering from HIV/AIDS, those the world has loved and lost through HIV/AIDS and to all of those affected by HIV/AIDS.
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Aug 28, 2012
Aug 28, 2012 at 6:26 AM UTC
AIDS
Lost, locked in a whirlwind, Trying to pull myself out, I'll grab anything but your hand, The road less traveled by, Was the familiar route. Lost in the quicksand of your eyes, A beautiful pool of mud, Rung my heart out to dry. Forced whispers inside my head, "Try! Try!" They all said. How do you cherish, shield, and protect property that isn't nestled on your deck? How do you love, care, and cradle Something thats not on the table? If you think I wrote this about you, Then it's most definitely true, That adoration, affection affected By endless alteration in the depths of my heart Leave me with no other choice Then to ask, "Where do I start?"
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Aug 5, 2014
Aug 5, 2014 at 12:35 AM UTC
Adoration
You think that smile will make it all right, Do you realise you’re enraging my mind? Think it’s okay because you believe your better, why? Like that grin makes it okay to stay blind. Because I’m young you think I’m dumb, You count your manners on one thumb, You speak out; you smile like I’m making fun. I got a rage that will make you wish you were numb. Anger, my rage erupts enough for me to lash out, Punch the wall, should have been your face, ow. You have directly affected my mood now Brewing and steaming, to release I jot this down. Now how do I get rid of this frown?
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Apr 30, 2010
Apr 30, 2010 at 3:02 AM UTC
Sarcastic smirk (2009)
I wish to disambiguate to explicate; expanciate: I do not begrudge polyamory, and whatever Love entails to any particular person, for I once was polyamorous; I understand some of the ways in which polyamory can work. Usually when single, or otherwise in an open relationship. I also do not begrudge sluttiness; everyone needs some and some can't resist. Besides, it is noble to work such charity. Who am I, who once sought such charity, to demonize it? I, who have lusts and desires? I do, however, take grievous offense to One in a relationship who tells their partner they're soulmates and who, instead of agreeing to end the monogamous relationship, goes and sleeps around and cheats on their "soulmate", moreover if over and over. It's hard to cope with such deep hurt, and I wish to convey my apologies for my rash hybridized expressions of Anger, Frustration and Hubris. Perhaps it perturbs me so simply because it reminds me of who I once could be and was. Perhaps it irks me so because I'm envious. Again; Polyamory is not a Sin; but before you just go **** someone at least be single or in an open relationship; it isn't only you who is affected by your choices, and I know that's hard to see when you are so young. Don't hold back who you really are, but please; don't cheat others in the process. Not only is Karma a ***** but so can Retribution be; you never know what One scorned is capable of; the next time you cheat someone they may not fall back on mere words; A few more years in this World may teach you that such Anarchy doth go both ways, my dear; Vigilante Justice knows few bounds: Don't take too many chances when it comes to who you **** nor when it comes to who you **** over.
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Oct 23, 2013
Oct 23, 2013 at 7:39 PM UTC
Polyamory is not a Sin
I wish to disambiguate to explicate; expanciate: I do not begrudge polyamory, and whatever Love entails to any particular person, for I once was polyamorous; I understand some of the ways in which polyamory can work. Usually when single, or otherwise in an open relationship. I also do not begrudge sluttiness; everyone needs some and some can't resist. Besides, it is noble to work such charity. Who am I, who once sought such charity, to demonize it? I, who have lusts and desires? I do, however, take grievous offense to One in a relationship who tells their partner they're soulmates and who, instead of agreeing to end the monogamous relationship, goes and sleeps around and cheats on their "soulmate", moreover if over and over. It's hard to cope with such deep hurt, and I wish to convey my apologies for my rash hybridized expressions of Anger, Frustration and Hubris. Perhaps it perturbs me so simply because it reminds me of who I once could be and was. Perhaps it irks me so because I'm envious. Again; Polyamory is not a Sin; but before you just go **** someone at least be single or in an open relationship; it isn't only you who is affected by your choices, and I know that's hard to see when you are so young. Don't hold back who you really are, but please; don't cheat others in the process. Not only is Karma a ***** but so can Retribution be; you never know what One scorned is capable of; the next time you cheat someone they may not fall back on mere words; A few more years in this World may teach you that such Anarchy doth go both ways, my dear; Vigilante Justice knows few bounds: Don't take too many chances when it comes to who you **** nor when it comes to who you **** over.
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78
Up early as usually but this time with a mission to complete Halloween Costumes. Not a pain free day most definitely, but have kids who rely on me to be a good mom. Everyone has haters; the two faced, "your girls" wanting your guy or envy clothes style, or randoms you never met, desiring your life, home or new car bought with hard work. Most days what's posted on sites about me makes not a bit of difference in my world, I ignore and move on with my life, know haters have nothing better to do than gossip. No news is good news and nothing from my usual "Town Criers" saying "Guess What?" One day got messages in text, "You have been labeled Babylon's ***** by Craiglisters!" Not a "lol" nor "Roflmao" situation. Thinking, What in the world? and How in the world? Me, Ms. Abstaining and they, who love assuming and posting drama without thought. Their world; small town America and believers of truth in "all" internet rumors and media, not willing to give benefit of doubt, once minds, so limited in thought, have been made up. E-mail inquiries from potential employers I never met from destinations far far away, asking and informing that person with such low morals shall never be part of their world. Drama finds me and neither welcome nor do I seek it out, way too emotionally draining, believer in live and let live, authored "Celibacy" poem to stop jokes made to my kids. Who knew that trying for your dreams could bring forth bringers or illogical pure hatred? Who knew that emotions of my children whom I love, would be affected by narrow minds? After family conference and with full support, by the way, had to explain ***** to son, this mom carries on and still on second journey pursuing dreams and making realities. If I give up dreams it will never be because someone posted bold faced lies on open forum, it will be because I choose to do it with good reasons and those reasons are mine alone. Pitfalls? Have been numerous. Will? Strong and still determined to see this through to end. Tomorrow isn't promised and hear my dad say, "Daughter, go forth and let haters be fuel!"
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Oct 30, 2013
Oct 30, 2013 at 4:01 AM UTC
Irrational Haters and My Children
Up early as usually but this time with a mission to complete Halloween Costumes. Not a pain free day most definitely, but have kids who rely on me to be a good mom. Everyone has haters; the two faced, "your girls" wanting your guy or envy clothes style, or randoms you never met, desiring your life, home or new car bought with hard work. Most days what's posted on sites about me makes not a bit of difference in my world, I ignore and move on with my life, know haters have nothing better to do than gossip. No news is good news and nothing from my usual "Town Criers" saying "Guess What?" One day got messages in text, "You have been labeled Babylon's ***** by Craiglisters!" Not a "lol" nor "Roflmao" situation. Thinking, What in the world? and How in the world? Me, Ms. Abstaining and they, who love assuming and posting drama without thought. Their world; small town America and believers of truth in "all" internet rumors and media, not willing to give benefit of doubt, once minds, so limited in thought, have been made up. E-mail inquiries from potential employers I never met from destinations far far away, asking and informing that person with such low morals shall never be part of their world. Drama finds me and neither welcome nor do I seek it out, way too emotionally draining, believer in live and let live, authored "Celibacy" poem to stop jokes made to my kids. Who knew that trying for your dreams could bring forth bringers or illogical pure hatred? Who knew that emotions of my children whom I love, would be affected by narrow minds? After family conference and with full support, by the way, had to explain ***** to son, this mom carries on and still on second journey pursuing dreams and making realities. If I give up dreams it will never be because someone posted bold faced lies on open forum, it will be because I choose to do it with good reasons and those reasons are mine alone. Pitfalls? Have been numerous. Will? Strong and still determined to see this through to end. Tomorrow isn't promised and hear my dad say, "Daughter, go forth and let haters be fuel!"
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24
You strip and scream in the pillow of your king size bed. Something about life being too hard or your girlfriend's unfaithfulness. Somoene's outside your door or maybe under the tree. They know what their future is and their prospects are bleak. 'I don't want to eat because I am so depressed. ' Well, how about handing over that food to someone who has been going hungry to bed. You are never thankful for what you have. Let's solve this without any animosity We all have days which are bad. I have seen the citylights I have seen the people cringe with the pain You and I know that this system is to be blamed. It's time that the government has shown their true face. Those schemes are probably gonna fail. Unclean water, improper waste disposal it's time we return back to our own morals. I don't mean to be abrasive but it's time we face it. The rich are getting richer watching poor men die You get the picture Divided by an imaginary line. Some charities are a scam '*Please help us fund the education of the kids affected by the floods. We have no proof where the money goes. Our logic is ****** ' Traffic lights changing colours Wait?  Did someone break that one again? That's a ****** No one knows where they are going as long as the cash is flowing So many around the world starve to death 'What the hell did you put in this lasagna? A rotten egg?' Your emotional security us important and so is your money. You can enjoy as many luxuries but remember to think of the less fortunate.
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Oct 11, 2014
Oct 11, 2014 at 1:50 AM UTC
Citylights
You strip and scream in the pillow of your king size bed. Something about life being too hard or your girlfriend's unfaithfulness. Somoene's outside your door or maybe under the tree. They know what their future is and their prospects are bleak. 'I don't want to eat because I am so depressed. ' Well, how about handing over that food to someone who has been going hungry to bed. You are never thankful for what you have. Let's solve this without any animosity We all have days which are bad. I have seen the citylights I have seen the people cringe with the pain You and I know that this system is to be blamed. It's time that the government has shown their true face. Those schemes are probably gonna fail. Unclean water, improper waste disposal it's time we return back to our own morals. I don't mean to be abrasive but it's time we face it. The rich are getting richer watching poor men die You get the picture Divided by an imaginary line. Some charities are a scam '*Please help us fund the education of the kids affected by the floods. We have no proof where the money goes. Our logic is ****** ' Traffic lights changing colours Wait?  Did someone break that one again? That's a ****** No one knows where they are going as long as the cash is flowing So many around the world starve to death 'What the hell did you put in this lasagna? A rotten egg?' Your emotional security us important and so is your money. You can enjoy as many luxuries but remember to think of the less fortunate.
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40
I've only been affected  by anything other  than affection The only plan made was to never have  anything planned I've only been  perfect at living as  an imperfection The only thing I understood was how  much I didn't understand ©
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Sep 9, 2015
Sep 9, 2015 at 11:04 PM UTC
• Paradox •
(Author's Note: For those of you who have read "The Outsiders" by S.E. Hinton, here you go.) I am used to insults after seventeen long years. I should be, I create half of them and suffer through all of the rest. I lived in New York for part of my life, so I am also used to violence. I am able to rebel against everyone, opposing gangs, the Socs, even my own little posse of greasers. They are like brothers to me, and I am willing to lay down my life for them. Not that I'd ever say that out loud. I am not without pride and I have quite the reputation to uphold. I am rough, tough, and a guy you want to have on your side in a rumble. But at the same time, I have seen to much for a kid my age. Fighting, blood, and a good guy getting in trouble with the law for something he didn't do. Death is the worst. I am affected most by this, so I have built up a wall. I am truly the one on the edge of our gang. I am an outsider. I am a greaser, a hood, and proud of it. So you can call me what you want to, but I am used to insults after seventeen long years.
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Dec 2, 2012
Dec 2, 2012 at 7:50 PM UTC
I Am Dally
You've got lies Like you've got acne Raw and sour They deform the skin of the room Leave scars on its silence Creep unbidden into pores Brand themselves into reflections Hung Ugly as battle wounds On the arpeggios of conversation And you wear your lies Like you wear acne Smothered in pretty chemicals You deliver them like scripted text Into a world of disingenuity The self-affected One-trick-pony of your tongue Plays them down with beauty But fails to remove their aftertaste So please, Feel free to keep talking But I thought you should know That no one's listening any more And we no longer believe in Your cries of 'wolf' Because we know that No matter how you sing your lies The world will not cease to orbit the sun And then re-align itself to you
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Jan 30, 2015
Jan 30, 2015 at 2:43 AM UTC
Liar
The Miner, Absolom (a haibun) green hill where sheep graze white bones and coal, buried, held seasons all the same My grandfather worked in the mines from age thirteen to seventy. His life was closed in by mountains, the green one at the back, the dark looming one at the front and the pit head along the valley., winding the men in and out of the shaft, day after day, dawn until dusk when they came home singing boots ring on the road deep valley voices echo backyard starlit smoke . They worked on their bellies or crouched, often in water for days, water that undermines rock. Shaft collapses where frequent. Life was cheap. He came home covered in coal dust to his wife and two sons, sons he was determined to keep out of the mines. Yet he loved that coal - coal that he always polished with care before lighting a fire, brushing dust off black diamond surfaces. water breaks through rock with wood and straining shoulders man becomes the beam He saved twenty lives that day, men he had known from boyhood. When his lungs were affected they laid him off, no pay, no pension, no life. He bought an insurance book with the money he had and every day he trudged over the mountains and valleys gathering pennies that would help to secure some livelihood to the widows who lost their men in the mines. He never told his wife that when a family couldn't pay he put the pennies in for them rather than leave them unprotected. winter, summer, fall the mountain hangs over all tired to the backbone When the mines were nationalised my grandfather went straight back to the coal face despite his age. He wasn't going to miss those days of glory. Safety was suddenly the watchword and changes were made very fast. Hot showers were installed at the pit head and the miners came home clean at last. men stripped to the skin hot water, steam, baptised brothers singing hymns
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Jun 13, 2014
Jun 13, 2014 at 9:25 PM UTC
The Miner, Absolom
The Miner, Absolom (a haibun) green hill where sheep graze white bones and coal, buried, held seasons all the same My grandfather worked in the mines from age thirteen to seventy. His life was closed in by mountains, the green one at the back, the dark looming one at the front and the pit head along the valley., winding the men in and out of the shaft, day after day, dawn until dusk when they came home singing boots ring on the road deep valley voices echo backyard starlit smoke . They worked on their bellies or crouched, often in water for days, water that undermines rock. Shaft collapses where frequent. Life was cheap. He came home covered in coal dust to his wife and two sons, sons he was determined to keep out of the mines. Yet he loved that coal - coal that he always polished with care before lighting a fire, brushing dust off black diamond surfaces. water breaks through rock with wood and straining shoulders man becomes the beam He saved twenty lives that day, men he had known from boyhood. When his lungs were affected they laid him off, no pay, no pension, no life. He bought an insurance book with the money he had and every day he trudged over the mountains and valleys gathering pennies that would help to secure some livelihood to the widows who lost their men in the mines. He never told his wife that when a family couldn't pay he put the pennies in for them rather than leave them unprotected. winter, summer, fall the mountain hangs over all tired to the backbone When the mines were nationalised my grandfather went straight back to the coal face despite his age. He wasn't going to miss those days of glory. Safety was suddenly the watchword and changes were made very fast. Hot showers were installed at the pit head and the miners came home clean at last. men stripped to the skin hot water, steam, baptised brothers singing hymns
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23
Jealousy A silent rage that flows within me It stings and burns on the inside But the outter is not affected. Jealousy Is an act of self destruction Wanting to give up what you once desired, loved, and cared for To have something you don't Actually know you want. I close my eyes and imagine Without Jealousy Without Envy Wouldn't life be easier? To just be happy with what I've got.
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Feb 25, 2011
Feb 25, 2011 at 5:06 PM UTC
Jealousy
This house is getting heavy With the silence that surrounds Silence which has affected me Silence that brought me down I try to make this house a home The home that I used to love But nothings seems to be working So I seek help from above
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Nov 26, 2014
Nov 26, 2014 at 9:05 AM UTC
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i cannot put into words what you have done for me but i will try i was lost in the numbness of nothingness the silence around it all was getting way too loud and i hadn’t felt the excitement of another for way too long you’ve been around for a while in the back of my mind as a matter of fact. it may have taken a while to get you to notice me but i was willing to take the time, because you felt different and as far as ‘felt’ it’s too early to tell but you make me feel and it’s not just a spurt of feel, its a feel thats real i almost gave up in all honesty i didn’t want to put myself out there again to then just be torn limb from limb, again but you felt, right you’re quiet… to others but to me you’re you and i can’t get enough of you your voice is distinct- your voice is yours, it levels me and i could listen to it all day your eyes are deep- your eyes are specific, they look at me not through me your walk is confident- your walk is purposeful, you don’t wander your presence is home, its way too early but at the same time idc your essence is irrational, idk why you’re here at this time but i can’t second guess it cause nothing has ever felt so right i look at you and i am in wonderment your beauty is indescribable and your being makes your beauty seem intolerable you make me want to become a better me you make me reevaluate my purpose you make me pay attention i cannot put into words what you have done for me but i will try i was lost in the numbness of nothingness the silence around it all was getting way too loud and i hadn’t felt the excitement of another for way too long idk why God has placed you in my life but i hope that you are here to stay no one has affected me the way you do i have been so afraid of it all to stay put to move to be happy to love to give myself up but you make me anxious to do all of those things you make me want to be happy you make me want to try you make me want to take risks you make me want to move but most importantly- you make me want to
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Sep 30, 2018
Sep 30, 2018 at 4:01 AM UTC
you
i cannot put into words what you have done for me but i will try i was lost in the numbness of nothingness the silence around it all was getting way too loud and i hadn’t felt the excitement of another for way too long you’ve been around for a while in the back of my mind as a matter of fact. it may have taken a while to get you to notice me but i was willing to take the time, because you felt different and as far as ‘felt’ it’s too early to tell but you make me feel and it’s not just a spurt of feel, its a feel thats real i almost gave up in all honesty i didn’t want to put myself out there again to then just be torn limb from limb, again but you felt, right you’re quiet… to others but to me you’re you and i can’t get enough of you your voice is distinct- your voice is yours, it levels me and i could listen to it all day your eyes are deep- your eyes are specific, they look at me not through me your walk is confident- your walk is purposeful, you don’t wander your presence is home, its way too early but at the same time idc your essence is irrational, idk why you’re here at this time but i can’t second guess it cause nothing has ever felt so right i look at you and i am in wonderment your beauty is indescribable and your being makes your beauty seem intolerable you make me want to become a better me you make me reevaluate my purpose you make me pay attention i cannot put into words what you have done for me but i will try i was lost in the numbness of nothingness the silence around it all was getting way too loud and i hadn’t felt the excitement of another for way too long idk why God has placed you in my life but i hope that you are here to stay no one has affected me the way you do i have been so afraid of it all to stay put to move to be happy to love to give myself up but you make me anxious to do all of those things you make me want to be happy you make me want to try you make me want to take risks you make me want to move but most importantly- you make me want to
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53
Finally this day has come. To get another go with the sun, A year has it been since the daylight shun. The shadows of Mordor were almost to get me done. What a fine day to have an adventure. Having to save a princess as a departure. The signs are being obvious Birds are flying back to the Mountain, There is no time to be in bore, I need to hurry and reclaim back my Erebor. I’m in wonder of what she is doing. Probably she made plans already by now. Or maybe she didn’t decide on going. Thought that she might be Lonely under the Mountain. I have to get going to save her plain, Must get her out quickly of that fiery chain. But wait, What’s this? My legs are unable to move. Why is my heart trembling with fear? I’ve been waiting for this my entire time, I don’t get it. I don’t get it at all. I’m shaking pathetically, This is getting ridiculously annoying. Move it! Why is my body not responding? I can’t control my body no more It’s totally stuck! Is the sun causing this? But I’m no troll to be affected by this. I’m the Bilbo on this journey, I’m the appointed burglar To steal the precious Arkenstone So what’s happening now really? Am I scared that much That my own body is doing what I should be doing? If this fear is about the journey I’ll take, The dangers I’ll encounter, The perils I’ll meet. That wouldn’t be a serious problem for me not to go. But it’s different. This doesn’t make sense. I need to get rid of this fence. But It’s no use, I’m stuck in this hole in fuse. Stuck in this Shire, While that desolator Smaug is causing fire. I’ve forgotten the time. The shadows are back. Here I am underneath the moon’s refine, Standing still in charcoal leather black Not resisting anymore. I completely stood in my own accord. Tears are spilling down my face. I can feel in my veins the sorrow, And thinking about it made me wonder If I can make it til tomorrow. Then, So sudden it came to me in a flash The reason why I did not move Why I did not meet her. It’s because a year ago I was there. In front of her. My precious Arkenstone Under the Mountains The kings jewel. The jewel that rejected my tiny hands, That reached beyond the Middle of Earth Just for her. The same jewel that replaced me with a greed of a dragon. That burned the glow of what’s inside me. And now I remember it all. Clear as the sky above me. I am no Bilbo Baggins. There is no treasure waiting for me. No adventure as destination. Because this, This is just the Anniversary of my Rejection.
0
Feb 13, 2015
Feb 13, 2015 at 10:06 AM UTC
Anniversary of Rejection
Finally this day has come. To get another go with the sun, A year has it been since the daylight shun. The shadows of Mordor were almost to get me done. What a fine day to have an adventure. Having to save a princess as a departure. The signs are being obvious Birds are flying back to the Mountain, There is no time to be in bore, I need to hurry and reclaim back my Erebor. I’m in wonder of what she is doing. Probably she made plans already by now. Or maybe she didn’t decide on going. Thought that she might be Lonely under the Mountain. I have to get going to save her plain, Must get her out quickly of that fiery chain. But wait, What’s this? My legs are unable to move. Why is my heart trembling with fear? I’ve been waiting for this my entire time, I don’t get it. I don’t get it at all. I’m shaking pathetically, This is getting ridiculously annoying. Move it! Why is my body not responding? I can’t control my body no more It’s totally stuck! Is the sun causing this? But I’m no troll to be affected by this. I’m the Bilbo on this journey, I’m the appointed burglar To steal the precious Arkenstone So what’s happening now really? Am I scared that much That my own body is doing what I should be doing? If this fear is about the journey I’ll take, The dangers I’ll encounter, The perils I’ll meet. That wouldn’t be a serious problem for me not to go. But it’s different. This doesn’t make sense. I need to get rid of this fence. But It’s no use, I’m stuck in this hole in fuse. Stuck in this Shire, While that desolator Smaug is causing fire. I’ve forgotten the time. The shadows are back. Here I am underneath the moon’s refine, Standing still in charcoal leather black Not resisting anymore. I completely stood in my own accord. Tears are spilling down my face. I can feel in my veins the sorrow, And thinking about it made me wonder If I can make it til tomorrow. Then, So sudden it came to me in a flash The reason why I did not move Why I did not meet her. It’s because a year ago I was there. In front of her. My precious Arkenstone Under the Mountains The kings jewel. The jewel that rejected my tiny hands, That reached beyond the Middle of Earth Just for her. The same jewel that replaced me with a greed of a dragon. That burned the glow of what’s inside me. And now I remember it all. Clear as the sky above me. I am no Bilbo Baggins. There is no treasure waiting for me. No adventure as destination. Because this, This is just the Anniversary of my Rejection.
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76
Pour one under the table for those who walk outside.  In memory of Spalding Gray, for what he meant to me...     Thanks, “Spuddy”, for sharing your inner life.   Thanks for having the courage to bring so many troubles into the light.  You laughed at your troubles and allowed us a way to laugh at our own.  You put a voice to carrying an unbearable shyness or an excess of fear along with us as we go through life.  You strived to care when caring was out of fashion and in short supply.  Thanks for reminding us that life is the journey, and not only the destination.  You wrote a book.  You played a minor role in a feature film.  Those were some of your destinations.  When you shared your journey, you did it with humor, humility, and with love.  Thanks for reminding me that storytelling is all around us.  Thanks for reminding me that it need not be complex.  You were merely observant during your journey,  and you shared it through the lens of your own perception.     I learned this January that life became unbearable for you.  If only we, your audience, could have comforted you or somehow stemmed the river; the flood that carried you to leave so early.  I would like to believe that, once you died, you might be able to hear our collective voice.  I imagine that you are able to see the people affected by your work, some inspired thus to create works of their own; tell their own awkward stories, sharing them as you shared yours.  I am far back in the line, and I eventually arrive at your table.  You flip a page in your spiral-bound notebook and take a sip of water before glancing up inquiringly.  I only have one thing to say, really.  “Thanks, Spalding.  Thanks for sharing”.
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Oct 29, 2014
Oct 29, 2014 at 10:34 PM UTC
In memory of Spalding Gray (prose)
Pour one under the table for those who walk outside.  In memory of Spalding Gray, for what he meant to me...     Thanks, “Spuddy”, for sharing your inner life.   Thanks for having the courage to bring so many troubles into the light.  You laughed at your troubles and allowed us a way to laugh at our own.  You put a voice to carrying an unbearable shyness or an excess of fear along with us as we go through life.  You strived to care when caring was out of fashion and in short supply.  Thanks for reminding us that life is the journey, and not only the destination.  You wrote a book.  You played a minor role in a feature film.  Those were some of your destinations.  When you shared your journey, you did it with humor, humility, and with love.  Thanks for reminding me that storytelling is all around us.  Thanks for reminding me that it need not be complex.  You were merely observant during your journey,  and you shared it through the lens of your own perception.     I learned this January that life became unbearable for you.  If only we, your audience, could have comforted you or somehow stemmed the river; the flood that carried you to leave so early.  I would like to believe that, once you died, you might be able to hear our collective voice.  I imagine that you are able to see the people affected by your work, some inspired thus to create works of their own; tell their own awkward stories, sharing them as you shared yours.  I am far back in the line, and I eventually arrive at your table.  You flip a page in your spiral-bound notebook and take a sip of water before glancing up inquiringly.  I only have one thing to say, really.  “Thanks, Spalding.  Thanks for sharing”.
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3
The power of contentment is a strong force, composed of the sense of inward sufficiency; for we’ve been promised the strength to succeed when we open spiritual eyes and dare to see… His divine plan of grace and abundance for us. Christ, the Alpha and Omega, beginning and end, demonstrated His Love with actions at Calvary, giving us the privilege to be called His friend. We should not be worried about personal needs, for we’ve been equipped to address all of them; study The Word, apply His principles to your life and you’ll enjoy Life, without feeling condemned. For contentment has nothing to do with your wants; it’s being satisfied on the way to where you’re going. Boldly ask God for wisdom; trust Him and His timing; continue to be blessed by the seeds you are sowing. Don’t be affected by Life-stealing, negative emotions; find your identity of being one of His girls and boys; real contentment is the underlying power to be happy- learn to lean on Biblical promises and the Lord’s joy! . . . Author Notes: Loosely based on: Rom 11:36; 1 Tim 6:6; Eph 3:20; Jam 4:2; Phil 4:11-13; John 3:16-17 Learn more about me and my poetry at: http://amzn.to/1ffo9YZ By Joseph J. Breunig 3rd, © 2014, All rights reserved.
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May 1, 2014
May 1, 2014 at 1:49 PM UTC
Poem: Power of Contentment
A paper with ink that every student hates to do It’s so annoying when you cant get it because the teacher didn’t explain to you how to do it so you don’t get it, but the smart girl in your class said every one gets it, so the teacher shuts up, but on the inside you want to turn around and scream “No ones as smart as you!” but you don’t because you don’t want to be a bother, but as you sit in your bed you think what the frig I should have asked, but in stead of doing my homework I go on something called Facebook where everyone writes about other people and there problems there having that no one in the world seriously cares about so you scroll till you see a fight that is pretty pointless, but you still get the popcorn and read everything they said because its better then doing any thing else, but you see that girl that deals with anorexia and start to think why does she do that to herself she’s skinny, I know the mirror can be cruel sometimes, but she’s beautiful, she may look unhealthy and in science instead of looking at the skeleton you look at her because you can see every bone in her body because the words people say affected her, she was healthy, but people think you need to be **** perfect to be friends or just for them to like you, so she carries this thing that eats her on the inside in pain with the words that are whispering in the halls, but then she has that one friend that doesn’t help she’s to busy wishing for selfish things and too blind to see her friend is dying in front of her, but instead of saving her she’s wishing for everything like that new car and losing weight and her hair to be longer and what outfit she’s going to wear tomorrow to impress that guy she has a crush on and the girl thats been neglected by everyone and everything next to her in the mirror hearing her rant on and on about this she’s wishing I want to be like her, I want someone to love me like that, I want friends she always says I want and I bet it’s the girl in the back of the classroom, that shy one that sits alone at lunch time looking around hoping someone will come sit with her and want to be friends but it doesn’t happen because everyones too selfish in there own worries and problem to notice their fellow classmates could be crying out for help in front of you but you don’t care because your stuff is to important to help someone else.
0
Apr 11, 2013
Apr 11, 2013 at 11:24 AM UTC
homework, wishing, anorexia, neglect
A paper with ink that every student hates to do It’s so annoying when you cant get it because the teacher didn’t explain to you how to do it so you don’t get it, but the smart girl in your class said every one gets it, so the teacher shuts up, but on the inside you want to turn around and scream “No ones as smart as you!” but you don’t because you don’t want to be a bother, but as you sit in your bed you think what the frig I should have asked, but in stead of doing my homework I go on something called Facebook where everyone writes about other people and there problems there having that no one in the world seriously cares about so you scroll till you see a fight that is pretty pointless, but you still get the popcorn and read everything they said because its better then doing any thing else, but you see that girl that deals with anorexia and start to think why does she do that to herself she’s skinny, I know the mirror can be cruel sometimes, but she’s beautiful, she may look unhealthy and in science instead of looking at the skeleton you look at her because you can see every bone in her body because the words people say affected her, she was healthy, but people think you need to be **** perfect to be friends or just for them to like you, so she carries this thing that eats her on the inside in pain with the words that are whispering in the halls, but then she has that one friend that doesn’t help she’s to busy wishing for selfish things and too blind to see her friend is dying in front of her, but instead of saving her she’s wishing for everything like that new car and losing weight and her hair to be longer and what outfit she’s going to wear tomorrow to impress that guy she has a crush on and the girl thats been neglected by everyone and everything next to her in the mirror hearing her rant on and on about this she’s wishing I want to be like her, I want someone to love me like that, I want friends she always says I want and I bet it’s the girl in the back of the classroom, that shy one that sits alone at lunch time looking around hoping someone will come sit with her and want to be friends but it doesn’t happen because everyones too selfish in there own worries and problem to notice their fellow classmates could be crying out for help in front of you but you don’t care because your stuff is to important to help someone else.
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41
I will tell you what he told me in the years just after the war as we then called the second world war don't lose your arrogance yet he said you can do that when you're older lose it too soon and you may merely replace it with vanity just one time he suggested changing the usual order of the same words in a line of verse why point out a thing twice he suggested I pray to the Muse get down on my knees and pray right there in the corner and he said he meant it literally it was in the days before the beard and the drink but he was deep in tides of his own through which he sailed chin sideways and head tilted like a tacking sloop he was far older than the dates allowed for much older than I was he was in his thirties he snapped down his nose with an accent I think he had affected in England as for publishing he advised me to paper my wall with rejection slips his lips and the bones of his long fingers trembled with the vehemence of his views about poetry he said the great presence that permitted everything and transmuted it in poetry was passion passion was genius and he praised movement and invention I had hardly begun to read I asked how can you ever be sure that what you write is really any good at all and he said you can't you can't you can never be sure you die without knowing whether anything you wrote was any good if you have to be sure don't write
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