"acing" poems
My boyfriend does not say he loves me.
“I love you” is reserved for family members only,
and even then, sometimes, it’s a boldfaced lie.
My father “loved” my mother,
he cheated on her, drank away her money
and,
he abandoned me.
Another victim of his so called love.
I don’t even know what “love” means.
Somehow there is a supposed difference
between
Love
and
in love.
I don’t see it.
I love you, should mean
I love you.
Period.
But it doesn’t, does it?
We can’t even rightfully define the word love,
so how can it mean something?
No, my boyfriend doesn’t say
I love you
instead he swears he adores me.
Adores.
Me.
Now that word has meaning,
it isn’t common.
It’s unique to us.
It means he respects me,
he likes my quirky smile.
The way I walk, talk, and sing.
He likes the way I fight
the way I dance
the way I like to read in the dark.
My boyfriend also doesn’t call me
honey, sweetie pie, cupcake or worst of all,
love muffin.
I am not a pie, cupcake, muffin or honey…
although I do like all of those things….
a lot.
He calls me by my name,
and there’s something special about that too.
My name, the thing that is constant.
All of my accomplishments are wrapped up in that one word.
I own it.
Tying my shoes for the first time,
riding a bike,
driving,
graduating,
acing that test I studied all night for.
It’s all there
in my name.
Honey, sweetie pie, cupcake and worst of all love muffin
don’t hold any meaning.
It’s what a guy calls a cute girl.
great.
That’s so original.
My name carries all of my accomplishments,
and my failures.
The first time I fell off my bike,
and my best friend had to walk me home.
The first time I got into a car accident,
and the airbag bruised my face.
The time, my ex boyfriend said he loved me,
only to cheat on me and have his mother call.
“Hey sweetie, I’m sorry I just don’t think you guys are in love
and as you know he’s already moving on.”
I guess even though I “loved” him,
I lost him.
So no,
my boyfriend does not say he “loves” me.
And the next time a boy-
because he will be a boy
calls after you
“Hey sweetie pie”
“Hey Honey”
“Hey cupcake”
or worst of all
“Hey love muffin”
Tell him you don’t have time to talk,
you’re looking for the man,
who will adore you,
and learn your name
in all its glory.
Mar 31, 2014
Mar 31, 2014 at 3:30 PM UTC
“I know what you’re thinking.”
Do you?
You can’t read me like an open book.
You have no idea what I truly think.
What makes you so sure I even see you as a friend like the way you see me?
You see me
as a studious girl, diligently finishing my work
as an intelligent girl, acing the tests in the subjects I’m good at
as a responsible girl, always carrying out my duties with zeal and efficiency
as a kind hearted girl, courteous and honest
You also see me
as a mean girl who gossips about others
as a conceited girl who brags on and on about herself
as a selfish girl who does things only if it is to her benefit
as a coward who is afraid of so many things
as a lazy *** who does nothing in weekends
The list goes on.
Just because you see the good and the bad of me, you think
you know me.
Do you?
Don’t be too quick to answer that question.
You will never know the nights I spend going insane
thinking about myself
thinking about you
thinking about others
You will never know about the times when I breakdown into a useless emotional wreck
with the tiniest action from someone
You will never know about the certain few nights and what I did to myself
and how I cry
on and on, nails digging deep into my palms, on and on, uncontrollably hyperventilating, on and on… even when I don’t want to.
You will never know about the content in my diary
what these words really mean
what my purposes are
You will never know about the way my brain is wired
about the way I see the world
about the way my mind is poisoned, tainted, corrupted, trained to manipulate, functioned to lie.
You don’t know me even if you think you do.
You don’t know about how much I fear myself while I type these words
while I’m thinking about the pain in my heart and how it is therapeutic.
My lips are parched, my throat is dry, my breath is coming out in slow deliberate long breaths.
My mind stays warped, damaged and tainted.
The edges of my eyes hurt from too much rubbing.
My heart is still hurting, as it does every day and night.
My eyes stay shut as I think about how I am going to survive tomorrow.
You ask me why I hate everyone. You ask me why I am so pessimistic. You ask me why I am so irritable. You ask me so many questions and you say
“I know what you’re thinking.”
Do you
when I don’t even know myself anymore?
Mar 4, 2017
Mar 4, 2017 at 8:46 AM UTC
A crazy little thing we desired to fall
Believably that it was true
Could it possibly an imagination or just for real?
Dreaming or falling on the right way
Eventually would fade or maybe would stay
Facing the love of your life it sound so crazy
Going back and forth only to see her every day
How love could mean and change the world to you
In denial at first, but **** you hate it & you love it at the same time
Just trying to catch and realize that it was you
Knowing how much it means a lot.
Love? how wonderful it is
Moved you the hard way you could get
No space that you could filled but only her that you give in.
Oblique spheroids that turn us
Questioning if its round or circle
Rapidly is not enough to find someone like you
Searching for love? you don't have to
The love will just find you at the right time
Unbelievable right? &
Very unrealistic to believe.
Wait & be patient, while
X is marking you to cross the path
You'll never know it will just knock out of your door
Zest is along the way!
Jan 10, 2015
Jan 10, 2015 at 11:42 AM UTC
Best things in life is being with you
Rather than being alone
In the midst of the dark
Across the deep blue sea
Nothing compares when I’m with you
Precious smile I’ll never get tired to see
Always hoping it’ll never leave
Uncommon yet it shows veracity
Laden heavily by your own difficulty
Videos and music we’ve shared together
Inseparable moments that will last forever
Racing hearts but never exposed
Anxious of the possibilities ahead of our road
Youth, hindered us from the unspoken words of our own sentiments
Considering my thoughts
Raging for every reasons I have
In leaving you behind the walls we unconsciously built or
Staying beside you with the lump on my throat
Observing how you suddenly adapt to our new world
Shredding me into utmost invisible piece
Together-forever remained just a thought in the void
Over-thinking of the road ahead, no more
Messed-up mind glued to the shore
On my way to the paradise and mend a heart once broke
Jul 15, 2015
Jul 15, 2015 at 3:00 PM UTC
Graceful
Racing friends outside
A+ student in class
Caring to her family
Education
Jun 10, 2014
Jun 10, 2014 at 6:09 PM UTC
It’s the least of my worries
Taxing my car
Or saving up for a house
Or remembering that thing
I was supposed to remember
Or anything really
Or passing that test
Getting into that school
Acing that interview
Getting that job
That pays enough
That allows me to progress
Progress?
I hadn’t even thought about that.
I hadn’t thought about any of it.
I think
about one thing
I obsess
I compulse
Or do I?
Is what I do when I
Think about that thing
I always think about
A compulsion?
Because if it’s not then
Can it be called
OCD?
And if it’s not
That means it’s me
And the thing I always think
About
is true
I know it’s irrational
But what if it’s not?
Maybe it just makes me feel better
To think that it is
See, who has time for rational worries
When you’re so full up with
Irrational one’s?
Nov 5, 2020
Nov 5, 2020 at 12:38 PM UTC
Sand with my toes and this brings a smile to my face
See from where I came from blood was spilled all over the place
No matter your name, gender or age.
It was all about race
about the tribe you really where in
Now my story isn't like many others
I haven't started my trip to Venus
Nor cured a viral disease that sweeps us
I am not the greatest poet
That dances my fingers
putting inspiration in hearts
With ink and only paper
But hear this, my veins have been stained
with a name that sparks fear in this nation
my clothing alone leaves frowns on some faces
Too bad they judge
Before listening to the words I am saying
surprised that I can speak their language,
as if they had never seen or heard an immigrant speak so bravely
Speak a white mans language without a single error
Amazed when I have no accents
Asking one another
"Why, how in the world can she pronounce these words so well?"
Well, why don't we chuck you in my world
for once...
show you how the heat really beats you down
Imagine children without no mothers
Now
alone and left to watch over their siblings
Forget acing your classes, this is about survival
oh and try avoiding the random bullets shot for fun
by your neighbors, idiots
The hell try talking with the dips and moans of my language
without any hint of accent
bet you can handle it
but if you don't mind
i am not done ranting
Have you not seen our mother killed, violated and *****
Our fathers, out to fight for us yet gets shot for our sake
Our children's dreams and hopes are called pitiful mistakes
And yet, your still amazed
When our generation gets up in a haste
Fighting for the broken suns that have been wasted
Having eaten lions for breakfast
We are the poet nation.
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May 13, 2012
May 13, 2012 at 8:46 AM UTC
If only I didn’t yell at you,
If only I didn’t **** you,
If only I wasn’t so stupid to let the ****** to split,
We wouldn’t be in this mess.
Your laying in hospital half dead,
I’m laying in hospital with cuts and burns,
My heart acing,
Knowing your going to die,
Are 3 month old baby already dead inside of you,
You breathing on a machine,
If only I didn’t tell you to go to my friends,
I knew you was to good for me,
My life is now in ruined,
You couldn’t take the presser,
You stopped breathing,
The doctor’s tried everything to bring you back,
But didn’t,
Good bye my darling,
Good bye my lover,
Good bye my life,
Good bye my baby.
Sep 1, 2011
Sep 1, 2011 at 5:22 PM UTC
It's finally over,
But why am I not rejoicing?
My heart feels like there's
Ketchup and cheese and everything
Messed up in one.
Because no matter how much I study,
My mind will be in a flurry
My vision too blurry
And then my brain just
Stops working.
I don't know why
That this year has been pretty much a struggle.
While many others just sail pass it,
Acing
Every
Single
Test.
Oh, I remembered I was once like them.
But that was the past.
And the gap between then and now,
Grows like a hungry little caterpillar,
Further and further apart.
Their high hopes had been doubled,
They pile high on my shoulders,
Weighing down on me.
But I don't blame them.
I would do the same if I were in their shoes,
After the ordeal that they've been through.
But time after time,
I've let them down.
But I really did study.
I really really did.
Now my hand itches
To touch my textbook,
I'm feeling so empty from within.
I guess I forgot to read a chapter.
But what's the use of studying now?
When it's all over,
And I can't change
A thing.
May 16, 2013
May 16, 2013 at 4:23 AM UTC
awesome apothecary addressed as Agamemnon
alleviates anxiety, and alimentary aggravation
anodyne appeasement arrests ailment
amphetamines acquaintanceship assuages
agonizing aches also advocates amorousness
assiduously activating admiration
aggressive attacks assault air afoul
affable affinity affects adumbration
anatomical accidental addiction attested as academic,
although afterward abnegation absolutely arduous,
affianced attired apparently as an anomaly
Ares and Abyssinian Astarte admixture
acquiescence affliction affected adroitly,
and abruptly abends accessible
altruistic alms axed
albeit admonishing, alluding,
and attributing authored
autonomous anonymous adroit arriviste agents
accompanying as accomplished accomplices
accredited ace advertisers
applaud ascendent assaults amidst agonizing appeals
acting all acrimoniously apropos
avowedly ardently, and antagonistically, agitating
appositely advocating ancillary assistance
addict adrift afloat anchors away
assails along, among, and an alias archenemy -
adorned abominable assassin alters ambition
adroitly, aggressively, absolutely
addict announces asseveration
against avid admonishment
alarmingly annulling authentic affiliation
anew anonymous ability acclaims alignment
aegis actually adversarial abetting attrition appetite
acceleration ascendent after aplenty anesthetization
additionally activating arced analogous arrow
advancing added abdominal and arterial agony
abject ambivalence arrests accomplishments attainable
any artistic avocation absconded
asper auditorial approbation, animadversion
artificial aggrandizement abrogates astuteness
appropriate adjudication affronted
alternative afforded amnesty about acing audioslave
as aerosmith ambition assumes arriviste affectation
already appalling alacrity awakens amendment
although Awol administration adamant
acrimonious affront agonizingly attributable
announces another afterworld
apparent ailing apparition
ardent allegiance asking anyone appreciable affix
apathy abounds attending apriorism allotment.
Feb 25, 2018
Feb 25, 2018 at 6:46 PM UTC
°*There is a clear line between right and blur
I don't know which one is wrong
but
since you've been gone
I've been hanging on
a thread of lost ghost
Kimberly
that's a beautiful name
but
with you
I kept acing mistakes*
Feb 24, 2016
Feb 24, 2016 at 12:32 AM UTC
Utter
Saddness
Encompassing me
Stolen soul
Making an
Effigy of me
Why does it
Hurt so much and so
Often
Am I all alone
Racing over a cliff
Even to death
Yet I can't fight
Or run from it or hide
Under a mountain
Leave me be!
Dec 6, 2010
Dec 6, 2010 at 8:20 AM UTC
aches
void
circulation of losses
a truck filled with messes
existence full of profanity
only
acing
drakes
sigh! tie me with laces
life's short,move with slower paces
but your only a creep
with more patches
don't merry me with braces
a ****** broken into pieces
this earth
is a
savage palace
now applaud me hater
Jan 5, 2015
Jan 5, 2015 at 12:30 AM UTC
grades do not define your intelligence
the numbers on your report card do not determine your importance
worth and grades do not correlate
your mental health is more crucial
than acing that test you have tomorrow
close your weary eyes, child
and rest for a while
Dec 1, 2014
Dec 1, 2014 at 8:51 PM UTC
I have come to hate school, but I for one have nothing against getting an education, I love to learn and create and experience things that help better my education, but I have come to the conclusion that school doesn't really help me do that. The "education" that I am receiving from school is 95% useless. It's useless because these teachers have to follow a system of guidelines that are required for them to teach us so they can keep their jobs and continue making money. The things I am "taught" have no benefit to me what so ever. I sit in a desk all day being talked at about stuff that for one doesn't interest me and two isn't teaching me anything. I am not receiving an education. The system is testing me on pure memorization and listening skills, it's as simple as that, if you listen to what you're told and you memorize what you're told to know, you will do good on your tests, that isn't based off of intelligence at all, to me your intelligence is shown through your experiences, through the mistakes you've made, through the mistakes your going to make and through your will to try and understand. So you failed your history test and the girl right next to you got an A, in no way does that make her smarter than you, because her acing that test had nothing to do with how smart she is, she listened and memorized, that's all these tests are, and it's ******* stupid.
Oct 19, 2015
Oct 19, 2015 at 10:01 PM UTC
I'm so frustrated at myself
you have no clue what you're doing
No creativity, no soul, no truth
Just going through the motions
I thought guys were the problem
no the problem is myself
I was so happy but what happened
I feel hurt, broken, annoyed
My future is so cloudy.
My present is so manipulated
Ignoring my problems through music
Where's the crafty girl I know
I'm frustrated and angry
Bruises on my head
I'm acing my classes but I'm so fake.
I'm faster but not stronger.
Where is the girl I know
Nov 22, 2015
Nov 22, 2015 at 6:41 PM UTC
Everyone barrages me with compliments and praise
It seems like I've always had my hand raised
I've doubted myself for far too long
But i think i have good reasons to
Others contradict that theory
But theories can change and be edited
I'm not sure if mine will ever change
Despite the overwhelming abundance of kind words
I still feel like i can only hold two candles instead of twenty
Or ace a test with excessive studying instead of acing it perfectly
Or recite a text after hours of reading
Instead of minutes
Am i genius? Am i smart? Am i something better than average?
The answer to this is pretty transparent
I'm alright. A few bruises and dents, but nothing to be startled over.
Nov 1, 2015
Nov 1, 2015 at 1:11 PM UTC
We used to run around the streets in Elmhurst. Play football and bounce the ***** off windshields. Get into tussles and act like tough guys. Somebody on the block always opened the hydrant when things got too hot.
There wasn't a lot of running inside the walls of my high school. It was a train to a bus ride away from home. But it felt a world away.
I'd meet the homeys after school, out on the handball courts in Broadway. Sometimes I didn't bother going to school. I'd skip straight into acing fools on serves.
It's a habit I've kept with me over time. I've had trouble seeing the opportunity right in front of me because I've believed things had to be a certain way. I believed new relationships couldn't be formed as strong as old ones. But I was wrong.
I made it through high school. First kid in the fam to graduate out of college. First generation middle class man from the streets of a lower class upbringing. I don't get to bare that too often. And I don't get to speak my speak all time. Often times I've had to change tongues, dig outside my element to feel a part of something. More often I've chosen not to do so. Out of pride? Out of principal? I probably know as much as you. And that's nothing. But wherever I am, there are places that I came from, people I have met, things that I have been. And without them I'd have no words for you.
Mar 26, 2019
Mar 26, 2019 at 3:39 AM UTC